When I Loved You Chapter 80

“Wow…” Yiyoung's voice trembled. “That was my first kiss!”

Muyeol pulled the wheelchair closer. “This time, close your eyes.”

When she did as he told her to, his lips met hers again. But Muyeol wasn't satisfied with just that. Yiyoung eventually began to move her lips, lightly nipping his. In response, Muyeol parted her mouth with his tongue.

Muyeol gently held the back of her Yiyoung's head, and Yiyoung gripped his shoulder. He titled his head, deepening the kiss. The two explored each other, passionately kissing each other until their lips felt numb.

At that moment, it felt as if they were the only ones in the garden blessed by the spring rain.

After dinner, Muyeol left the room to throw out the trash. Yiyoung carefully climbed out of bed to brush her teeth.

She believed moving whenever she could would help her recover faster. With a gingerly pace, she entered the bathroom and squeezed out a pesized amount of toothpaste onto the toothbrush.

As she looked in the mirror, her gaze fell to her lips. She brushed a finger against them. It was so hard to believe that she had kissed Muyeol.

The thought sent her heart pounding, and her cheeks flushed red. Wanting to shake off the shyness that came with it, Yiyoung forced herself to start brushing. However, she found herself frowning as the feel and taste of her first kiss vanished. She rinsed her mouth and looked in the mirror again.

“Look at me, it's like I'm some pervert. I can't believe I told him I wanted to kiss him. And now I'm even feeling sad that the feeling of my first kiss is gone.” Yiyoung wiped her mouth with a towel. “This is a problem. Now I can't even resist the desire that I had managed to suppress for thirty two years.”

She suddenly recalled what she'd told Muyeol at the beginning of their marriage, “Okay. You win, you eunuch.”

“Muyeol was probably baffled,” Yiyoung muttered sadly.

'But an eunuch who is a good kisser… To think people like that existed, too.”

“I'll tell Jaehee all about what happened in the garden. She won't believe me.” Yiyoung wasn't romantic by any means, so Jaehee would definitely be taken aback.

Yiyoung combed her hair. “I really want to go back to work.”

Yiyoung couldn't wait to go back to work. The ER was already a busy department, and now with two of their doctors hospitalized, it would definitely be hectic for the staff. Although, Yiyoung had heard that Dr. Kang had only suffered from some muscle damage. That was good; at least one of them could return to work quickly.

“Let's be a little patient,” Yiyoung breathed, “As long as I have no traumatic symptoms, I can return to work.”

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She had seen several such cases at the ER. If a victim was reminded of their attackers, then they would go into traumatic seizures.  It was a serious mental problem and could ruin a patient's social life. There were medications to treat the condition, but they weren't effective enough to completely get rid of the problem.

However, things were different for patients with strong will. Yiyoung was strong, and she loved being a doctor. Working at the ER was her passion. The sounds of everyone bustling about at the ER were etched in her memory. The loud siren of the ambulance, the screech of the stretcher carrying a patient, and the patients she had taken care of… Yiyoung could recall them vividly.

Suddenly, a voice echoed in her head. “All these doctors act like they're some deities. They all need to die!”

Yiyoung's eyes widened. Burning pain flared up the side of her stomach, her skin feeling like it was on fire. She stared at her reflection in horror, letting out a loud shriek. There was no one around, yet it felt like someone was talking right in her ear. She couldn't breathe properly, scared out of her mind.

'It's okay. It's all in the past. It's over,' she tried to reassure herself.

But it didn't help her at all. Her breathing was still erratic, and her heart felt like it was going to explode. Her vision went blurred as well, unable to make out anything in front of her.

“Help…” she whimpered. It felt like tremors were shaking the floor beneath her feet as her body trembled in fear.

Faced with her shivering reflection, Yiyoung realized she was experiencing a panic attack. Her pupils were completely dilated. Never in her entire life had she thought that she would suffer a panic attack…

'This is nothing! I'm strong!' she tried telling herself again.

But Yiyoung quickly ran out of breath and staggered back. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her. It reminded her of the man who had stabbed her, and on pure instinct, she pushed and scratched at him in order to protect herself. “Help! Please help me!”

Muyeol wrapped his arms around her, making sure to leave enough space for her to breathe. He had been waiting outside the bathroom, waiting for her to come out when the seizure had started.

Yiyoung's face had turned blue; this was the worst episode so far. Muyeol gently carried her to the bed, grabbing a paper bag he had prepared for moments like these.

He held the paper bag to her mouth. “It's okay. You can breathe.”

She was still trembling and huffing, so Muyeol continued to whisper in her ear to soothe her. “It's okay. I've always been here with you. You have me now.”

His voice calmed her down enough to be able to take a deep breath.

“Good job. You're okay. I'll protect you no matter what. It's alright,” he said gently.

With that, Yiyoung was able to start breathing normally again.

Chapter end