WRECKED 20 19

Do you know when you're dead? Does it happen in an instant, and then suddenly you're no longer there?

All Hauwa could be sure of was the images that appeared before her were like actors in a stage play, each making their exits and entrances. But she couldn't be sure if it was a comedy, tragedy or history. The central character never changed, and was played by a woman who gave a remarkable performance, while others seemed to it on and o the stage at her bidding…

The first thing Hauwa saw when she opened her eyes was the whirring fan.

She could dimly remember a long journey, during which the pain had become almost unbearable, and she had assumed she would die long before the operation was over. She would never forget the operation, but then how could she, when they'd run out of anaesthetic moments before the doctor made the first incision.

She turned her head very slowly to the left and saw a window with three bars across it, then to the right; that was when she saw her.

"You!" Hauwa said. When Hauwa smiled, Anaya's whole face lit up.

"Yes, me," Anaya bent and replied with a smile. "How are you?"

"Tired." Hauwa lay still, staring up at the ceiling. "Will I be okay?"

"Of course you will be."

"My life is a mess… I don't know what to do…"

"Not now, my dear. We will come around to that, but not now. You will be here for another three weeks, and then, when you are ready to leave, we'll talk about the next step to take, okay?"

Hauwa nodded. "I'm in your debt, ma," she said, feebly grasping Anaya by the hand. "Thank you."

Anaya gripped her hand firmly and smiled. Hauwa felt exhausted, and drifted back into a deep sleep.

****

Each day produced new surprises because, inevitably, everyone's life had moved on in the few days since Hauwa was admitted in the hospital. Her uncle and auntie were standing by her side, holding hands as if they were teenagers on a date. Hauwa had never seen her auntie looking so happy. She was happy to learn that Hauwa's curse had been taken care of, she was not dripping anymore. "Bless Allah," she continually said.

During the long hours when she slept, or was simply alone, Hauwa's thoughts turned to Abdul.

A few weeks later, Hauwa woke to find Anaya, her uncle and her auntie seated around the bed.

"The doctor has said you can go home," said Anaya.

"Great news," said Hauwa. "But where's home? If it means going back to…" she broke o as her auntie started coughing.

Anaya handed a small bottle of water to Auntie Asabe.

"Are you okay, Auntie Asabe?" Hauwa asked, fear in her eyes.

"Don't worry about me, child. Let's listen to what the good lady has to say," she smiled reassuringly at Hauwa, but the girl was not convinced with the act.

"Hauwa, I live by the Lake Alau. You can come and stay with me. There are enough rooms there. You will be well taken care of, I promise. And your auntie and uncle can come and visit whenever they want to."

Hauwa sighed. She did not know where to start. She had never mentioned Abdul in all the time she knew Anaya. She did not see the need to burden this kind woman with her sordid relationship history. She did not see the need then; she did not see the need now. Abdul belonged to the past. Hauwa pondered for some time. She watched as her auntie began to cough again, her weathered hands clutching at her chest.

"You're being very kind," she eventually managed, turning her gaze to Anaya, "and please don't think I'm ungrateful, but I can't leave my auntie Asabe in the condition she's in. Not now."

"Hauwa…" Auntie Asabe started before the cough took over again. Anaya and Uncle Isa got up and gave the old woman full attention, calling for the nurse as they knelt beside her.

Minutes later, the nurse led the frail woman away, accompanied by her husband. Hauwa looked on in despair.

Anaya took a place on the bed. "She will be fine, Hauwa. Don't worry. I understand your fears for her. I'd like nothing more for you to come with me, but…just remember my doors will always be open to you." Anaya reached for her bag, took out her diary and scribbled in it. Then she tore the page out. She reached into her bag again and drew out a wad of notes. She handed the paper and wad to Hauwa, and she said, "Call me anytime. Now, don't cry. You'll be fine, I promise."

****

Hauwa cowered in Auntie Asabe's bedroom closet, practically afraid to breathe. She had known that when news went out that her curse had been cured, her husband would come looking for her eventually, and now he had finally arrived, four weeks after her discharge from the hospital.

"Where is she?" Hauwa heard Abdul demand of her auntie, who feigned ignorance. Hauwa had returned home with her uncle and auntie, vowing never to go back to her husband even when she was done nursing her auntie back to health. Thankfully, the cough that bothered auntie had subsided a great deal. She had spent the previous couple of weeks figuring out what to do next.

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Now, from the darkness of the closet, Hauwa listened as Abdul began to cry.

"I don't know where she is," he wept to her auntie. The sound of Abdul's sobbing gave Hauwa satisfaction—but also flooded her with sympathy. Hauwa was flattered to realize how devastated Abdul was by her disappearance; it was proof that he really did care.

During the subsequent days that followed, she agreed to see him. There were moments of enormous tenderness and vulnerability between them.

Three days later, much to her auntie's dismay, Hauwa decided to return home with Abdul.

"Hauwa," Asabe queried, "why would you want to return to that demon? How did you allow yourself to be seduced, again, into a false sense of comfort? Ban fahimtaba. I don't understand you. The rug will be pulled from under you soon enough."

"I don't know, auntie," Hauwa stammered. "Maybe deep down I have an intense need to be loved by this man."

"That love is toxic, Hauwa."

"I know, but I pity him sometimes. Maybe I am not just good enough for him. Maybe if I try a little harder, I could fix all the things he says are wrong with me."

"What rubbish! Hauwa, that man is bad for you. Can't you see?"

"Auntie…"

"Just promise me you'll be fine, Hauwa. Promise me now!"

"I promise."

Chapter end