"I don't mind at all . " Dr . Moore stated . "It's nice to see a foster parent involved . And it looks like you already have an understanding of Jake . "
Mr . Atkins laughed awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair . "My wife and son know better . I only know slight clues from them . "
"So you're not as close as they are?"
"I wouldn't say that . " Mr . Atkins sighed . "Jake isn't close to my wife, but he's spoken in front of her this past weekend . He's really attached to my youngest son, Noah . They're the same age . Share a room . Similar classes . And play baseball with my other sons . "
Dr . Moore looked at me . "Does Mary make you feel anxious?"
AdvertisementI shrugged . Not her in particular . But mom's in general .
Dr . Moore went back to Mr . Atkins . "How does Jake communicate with you and your family normally?"
Mr . Atkins scratched his stubble . "It's more Noah speaking for him than anything . He moves his head a lot . And can be very expressive with his face and eyes . "
"So you're close to Noah?" Dr . Moore asked . I nodded . "That's a good start . Having someone there for you can give you a sense of comfort . Have you spoken directly to Noah?"
I nodded slower . Maybe not in a clear manner, but I've spoken to him so that should count .
"Jake has said a few words around all of us this past week . " Mr . Atkins interjected .
Dr . Moore took some more notes . "Now that I have an idea of where the current you is, do you mind if I ask more about your past? Say for example, your mother?"
I tensed up .
"She abused you with her own hands correct?"
I flinched at the memory .
"Did you ever try to stop her? Maybe by speaking up? Or reaching out to authorities?"
I shook my head . Her abuse was the only way of communicating . I thought it was normal for the longest time . I got a headache replaying every hit, every sneer, every nasty word . I rubbed my temples .
"Jake?" Mr . Atkins voice felt far .
"Let him sort out his thoughts . " Dr . Moore said .
I was dumb . I should have spoken up . I could have gone to a teacher or the police . Why did I stay and take it? What's wrong with me?
"If you're wondering why you didn't speak out, I have an answer for you . " Dr . Moore caught my attention . I looked at him, ready to hear what he had to say . "It's because she's your mother . She gave birth to you . Like it or not, you have an attachment to this person . " He took in my distress . "I'm not saying this to scare you, but to comfort you . It's a normal biochemical reaction in your brain to want to be with someone close to you . Even if they hurt you . Children are the most sensitive to this . "
So just because she gave birth to me, I didn't tell anyone about my abuse? How stupid .
"It's like that in most child abuse cases . Sometimes the children even lie to authorities in order to protect their parents . It's almost ingrained in your being to protect those close to you . Regardless if they have hurt you . And children love attention, even if it's only negative . " He pushed up his glasses . "Now . Do you understand Jake? It's not your fault that it got this bad . You didn't push your mom this far . She's a mentally ill woman that needed help a long time ago . "
"I-" I cleared my throat and tried to speak without making eye contact with either of them . "I did it . She said-she said no to baseball and I-I-I didn't listen . " I hung my head in shame .
"Jake . Normal parents won't attempt to kill you for not listening . " Dr . Moore countered without pause . "Wayne . You're a parent . How would you discipline your son for not listening?"
Mr . Atkins had to clear his throat . "My first step is to make sure they know that they disobeyed . My second step would be a punishment, but at most it would be a grounding or extra chores . Mary and I don't condone corporeal punishment at all . We don't even allow are kids to fight one another . " I peeked up at him and was shocked . This giant man was crying . Not anything dramatic; just tears leaking out of his eyes as he looked at me . "What your mom did, Jake . It's awful and I hope she pays for it every time she thinks of what she lost . And not just the freedom she lost, but a wonderful, bright son who will do great things . "
My eyes stung, but my tears didn't fall . Mr . Atkins is a great dad . Nothing like the loser who left me with a crazy lady .
Chapter end
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