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The Brave New World 36 Soldiers and Thieves
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The Brave New World 36 Soldiers and Thieves

The knock on the Pendeltons' front door came just as they'd all assembled for their midday meal.

It was a frugal meal. It was increasingly hard to put one together: the gas for the barbecue grill had finished a while ago, and food was running out. Of course, they'd thought about transporting food from the New World: they had built half a dozen fish traps, and were emptying them at least twice a day. It was late summer in the New World, and they were finding more wild berries, edible roots, and mushrooms than they could eat.

Unfortunately, they still hadn't found a trace of that mysterious mineral called tiger rock that was required to transport goods back home. True, they hadn't done much exploring. They'd been concentrating on building a good, functional base in the New World. They made sure their little settlement was well hidden, and varied their routes on forays for food so that no well-trodden paths became visible.

After their deadly revenge on the renters, none of them were keen to run into other settlers in the New World. They made do with the primitive wood and stone tools they'd made. Sometimes, they had a bit of luck: Gladys had found a couple of turtles, and their shells made good shovels.

And sometimes, one of them would remember a skill they'd acquired when young, and subsequently forgotten. It was Harold that remembered how he'd used to amuse himself when he was a kid by building fish traps out of small branches and twigs and twine. And the girls - Gladys and Susan - dusted off long-forgotten skills and twisted coconut fibers into very serviceable, strong thread. There were plenty of coconut palms around, and there was no shortage of coconuts.

But they hadn't found any tiger rock, and so were unable to transport food back home.

"Looks like our people in the New World will be soon eating better than us," Dave Ramsey commented when he sat down and got a good look at his plate. It contained two slices of white bread, a few spoonfuls of baked beans, and a cold, raw wiener sausage.

"Stop moaning and tuck in," Harold Pendelton said sharply. Most of the food had come from the Pendelton larder; the Ramseys' contribution was limited to the tasteless white bread.

Dave Ramsey gave Harold a cross look and was about to deliver a stinging reply when they heard the knock on the front door.

"Well, what do you know," Susan Ramsey said. She looked at Harold.

"Don't wait for me," he said, getting up to answer the door. They all literally threw themselves at the food on their plates. We can't last like this much longer, Harold thought as he walked to the door. Another few days, and we'll start to starve. We must mount an expedition, and find tiger rock.

He was about to mindlessly open the door when he had the thought it might be the renters. He bent down to the peephole, and gasped at what he saw.

There was an army officer standing in front of the door. Two soldiers with assault rifles at the ready stood at his back.


Harold hurriedly opened the door, saying:

"At last, at last! I'm so happy to see you. I -"

He broke off. The look on the officer's face clearly indicated he wasn't happy to see Harold. He said:

"Harold Pendelton?"

"Yes, that's me."

"You live here with your wife, Gladys?"

"That's correct."

"Are you aware you have an inter-dimensional delivery vehicle in your back yard?"

"A what? Do you mean that glowing cube?"

"Yes, indeed."

"Of course I'm aware of it. We - "

"Why haven't you reported it to the proper authorities? Failure to report the location of an inter-dimensional delivery vehicle carries a fine of ten thousand dollars, or a month in jail."

"What?!"

The officer was silent for a moment, searching Harold's face for signs of dishonesty.

"I take it that you haven't been in town for a while," he said finally.

"No, we haven't. We did go, oh, about a week ago, but we ran into policemen guarding the entrance to the Sheraton and they told us to return home, and stay put."

"I see. I'll make sure to give you a copy of the official announcement concerning the present situation. In the meantime, I must request that you give my men unlimited access to your back yard. We have orders to remove all the items possible from the cube. They have been declared government property. Have you taken any yourself?"

"Well, yes," said Harold. "We've taken a few. But wait a moment. You said 'they' about the cube. There's more?"

"Plenty more. But never mind that. I see you've also treated yourself to an implant."

Damn! He'd brushed his hair before sitting down to eat, and the glowing blue dot on the edge of his hairline was showing! Harold said:

"Yes. You see, being cooped up like this for many days is - we felt no harm would be done if we -"

"Never mind," interrupted the officer. "You are to remove your implant immediately. Your wife's too, if she has one. I also request you to turn over any items you've recovered from the cube. Failure to do so will be penalized."

"Of course. I'll attend to it the moment I've finished eating. We've just sat down at the table when you knocked."

"Go ahead. My men shall begin removing the items from the cube immediately. Please leave the door open."

"May I ask them to access the back yard through the back gate? I'll open it for them right away. We've having some friends over for lunch."

The officer frowned. Then he said:

"Fine. I'll issue appropriate instructions so that you can eat undisturbed. If your friends have also given themselves implants, they too must remove them immediately. And I want you to turn over any items you've taken from the cube to my men. I'll return later today to give you copies of the announcement, and to perform an inspection of the premises. I'm sorry to invade your privacy, but I must follow my orders."

"Of course," said Harold. "I'll unlock the back gate right away. There's a walkway along the left side of the house."

"Thank you." The officer turned to speak to the two soldiers, and Harold took this opportunity to gently but firmly close the front door, and lock it. He walked across the house to the back door, ignoring questioning looks from everyone at the table. He unlocked the gate to the back yard, and joined them.

"It's the army," he said, sitting down. "They've come to take everything from the cube. I'll tell you more, but let me eat first. I'm famished."

Gladys, Susan, and Dave all waited patiently, watching the food disappear into Harold's mouth with slight envy. He wiped his plate clean with his last piece of bread, popped it into his mouth and said:

"Well, guess what. The cube and all that is or was in it is property of the government. We are to give up everything we've taken from the cube, and remove the implants we've given ourselves."

"It figures," said Susan Ramsey. "Thieving bastards."

"Remove the implants?" said Gladys Pendelton. "I'm not going to kill my girl!"

"You don't have a choice," Harold told her. "If you don't do it, you might even end up in jail."

"Outrageous!"

"Let's calm down and think," said Dave Ramsey.

They did. They saw the soldiers enter the back yard, and begin taking out items from the cube. They were taking them out in sets: one implant kit, one hiber bed, one documentation scroll. They carried them out of the back yard and when Harold got up to draw the blinds on the back windows, he checked the front and saw there were two large hand carts parked in front of his house.

"I have a feeling they'll be here all day," he commented when he rejoined the others.

"Will be interesting to see how many items one can get from the cube," said Dave. "Anyway, we've got to make a decision. Are we going to turn over everything we've taken?"

"No," Gladys said immediately. She turned to look at Susan, who shook her head.

"I agree with the girls," said Harold. "Obviously, we'll have to give up some, or they won't leave us in peace. How many have we got? Dave? You counted everything we took, I seem to remember."

"Yes," said Dave. "If I remember correctly, we've got just over a hundred and fifty implant kits, twenty hiber beds, and a dozen documentation scrolls."

"I think we should keep at least half," said Gladys. Harold smiled at her. This was the same Gladys who insisted all bills be paid the day they arrived, and often picked up litter from the pavement to deposit it in a nearby trash receptacle!

Dave looked at his wife. Susan shook her head. He turned and looked at Harold, who said:

"I have great respect for the law. But this particular rule seems very arbitrary to me."

"It's unfair, that's all there is to it," Gladys said firmly.

"All right," Dave said. "So we are agreed we aren't going to turn everything over. What about the implants?"

Harold shrugged.

"We have no choice," he said. "We have to remove them. Tell our people to assemble at the camp first, so that we can retrieve the clothes."

"We should also give them a decent burial," remarked Dave. "I mean, we've never had to deal with the first Gladys - the renters must have dumped her body into the sea, just like we dumped theirs once the poison I'd made lost its potency. But it seems wrong to do it that way again."

Harold glanced at his wife and saw she had tears in her eyes. He said quickly:

"We will set up a nice burial ground by the beach. But first things first. Are we all agreed we're keeping half of the implant kits and hiber beds we've got?"

Everyone was in favor. Harold said:

"You all understand that makes us criminals? Also, that officer said he'll be coming back to inspect the premises. We'll have to hide well everything we keep."

"Not criminals," Gladys said firmly. "You cannot call someone a criminal just because they are keeping what they already own."

Harold smiled at her. What a transformation! The Gladys he'd known would have insisted on turning everything over to the authorities. Her New World experiences had changed her. He said:

"Well, that's who we shall become in the eyes of the law: criminals. That officer told me failure to report the cube carried a ten thousand dollar fine, or a month in jail."

"What did he say about failure to give up items from the cube?"

"Nothing concrete. Just that it will be penalized."

"We must find out what the penalty is," said Susan Ramsey. "I don't fancy being locked up in prison."

"We're not going to ask anyone about the penalty," Dave said. "Because if we do, it will be a dead giveaway. Everyone will assume we've kept some. We've got to make the decision now, before that officer comes back."

"It seems we've already made it," Harold said.

Dave raised his eyebrows and looked at everyone in turn. They all smiled at him. So he smiled too, and said:

"So we're going the outlaw route?"

"All the way," his wife said. Gladys nodded. Harold nodded too, and added:

"Let's get going on this right away. Dave, I'll need your help in removing a couple of panels from the ceiling. There is space between the ceiling and the roof, more than enough of it to hide everything we want to keep."

"I'll keep an eye on those soldiers," said Gladys.

"And I'll keep an eye out for that officer," said Susan.

Harold laughed out loud and said:

"My God. Turning into a criminal, at my age. Disgraceful, completely disgraceful."

"That's what contact with time-travelers from the future can do to you," said Dave, and they all started laughing.

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Catalogue
115 Going South
114 The Last Supper
113 The Die Is Cas
112 The Beauty of Chaos
111 Gangsters and Banksters
110 A Patron Sain
109 Chickens and Turkeys
108 How To Get Wealthy
107 Everyone Is Talking
106 Bacon and Eggs
105 The Hand of God
104 It Is Better To Travel Than To Arrive
103 The Fine Art of Lying
102 An Unlikely Colonis
101 The Final Solution
100 Will Work For Food
99 A Governor's Journey
98 While Everyone Sleeps
97 Samir Starts An Army
96 The Dead Girl
95 The Eye of the Tiger
94 The Bicycle Thief
93 A Question of Faith
92 Samir Buys A House
91 A Fire Without Smoke
90 The Burning Man
89 The Coup That Never Was
88 The Coming of Cruz
87 Freeing Felipe
86 The Love Frui
85 Angel Love
84 The Things People Do For Love
83 A Delightful Picnic
82 How To Become A Billionaire
81 The Pain of Losing It All
80 Sailing To Salvation
79 The Crucifixion of Cruz
78 Living on an Island
77 A Perilous Journey
76 The Big Move
75 The Bandido Ultimatum
74 Meet The Mayor, Meet the Presiden
73 Salt and Gold
72 The Blue Sky in Skykomish
71 Bear's Paws
70 Lost in the Mountains
69 Today's Special
68 I Heard It On The Radio
67 Legs and Eggs
66 The Best Cook
65 Bingo!
64 Burial Party
63 The Joy of Killing
62 The Trip of a Lifetime
61 The Ambush
60 Supreme Lord of California
59 Deep-Fry Tricks & Techniques
58 A Friend In Need
57 Harper's Gold
56 The Ancient Wisdom of Sun Tzu
55 Money Woes & Wishes
54 Food for Though
53 A Girl For Sale
52 Marooned!
51 The New New York
50 Death Is Not A Dress Rehearsal
49 The Sweet Taste of Glass
48 Size Matters
47 A California Coronation
46 The Viking Imperative
45 Sunday TV
44 Fried Drive With Video Card Sauce
43 The Value of Money
42 The Gulls of Galway
41 The Solar Storm
40 Attack of the Pterodactyls
39 A New Alliance
38 Goat Curry and Mangoes
37 The Wolf Tree War
36 Soldiers and Thieves
35 First Blood
34 Governor or King?
33 Money For Everyone!
32 The Two Toasts
31 The Red Studebaker
30 The Worst Plan for the New World
29 A Gun in the Pocke
28 The Army Arrives
27 Henderson Island
26 The Sexy, Deadly Amazons
25 Power Returns
24 A Very Cruel Revenge
23 King Kirk and the Llama
22 The Vikings Are Coming!
21 The Great Western
20 The Many Lives of Gabriel Cruz
19 Dinosaur Island
18 The Tragic Fate of Gladys Pendleton
17 The Battle for New York
16 A New War in the Old World
15 The Invasion Begins
14 The Senator's Toga
13 Horses and Guns
12 A Steam Renaissance
11 The Dawn of the Vikings
10 The Naked Threesome
9 Making Love in the New World
8 The Millionaire's Clever Third Wife
7 The New World Order
6 A King's Feas
5 The Magic Bed
4 The First Colonis
3 Death in a Parking Lo
2 A Letter From the Future
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