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The Arcane Archer 32 Insane Old Man
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The Arcane Archer 32 Insane Old Man

My steps echoed throughout the dull stone hallways that the dwarves built as I slowly made my way to the training area where the General and my group where. I tapped my fingers on the satchel that had the white scroll inside of it and continued to wonder what secrets it would contain.

I quickly got to the training area as I thought about this and the General as usual was berating people and forcing people to push past their limits. Though for some reason though, he was saying "Plus Ultra" or something this time. He quickly noticed me enter the room with my very un-fancy mail-boy outfit and yelled out my name for everyone else to hear and bring their attention to me.

Everyone in the room was just staring at me in either confusion or disappointment at what I was wearing. By the time I was right in front of the general, he was already holding the bridge of his nose as if he was very disappointed in something. That something I assumed was me.

"Eric..." He said while still holding the bridge of his nose. "I knew you had no common sense but are you really that much of an idiot?" He indicated to my clothing.

"The Queen gave them to me. Wasn't I supposed to wear them?" I asked

"No. Just no." He said after releasing a breath he was holding in. "You should know how the Queen is by now. She just gave you that clothing because she thought it would be cute or funny. Maybe both."

I looked down at the ground in disappointment.

"Did you really have to call everyone's attention to me then?"

"No but that's only because I did it on instinct without noticing what you were wearing in the first place. Sorry Leo." The General said with actual concern.

I sighed but pulled the scroll out of the satchel given to me and handed it to him. He took it before quickly breaking the seal and reading the contents of it. After a couple of seconds he crumpled up the scroll and threw it behind him.

"It's official." He said. "The Queen is a fuckin idiot."

There was complete silence for a few seconds.

"What?" I asked simply.

"According to what was written down, she wants you to deliver stuff to people to gain experience on stuff and learn new things. But she also wants you to be there for a few seconds before you're sent on another pointless delivery. I'm pretty sure that you have at least some common sense to how bad that is... Though you did dress up in the outfit gave you without question so you may actually not. Anyways though, I'm changing her orders. For the next week or so, you'll be training underneath high-position dwarfs to learn more about our culture and learn how we do things here. That way, when you actually join the war, and visit the other races, you'll be proud to say that you know the dwarvish way!"

I raised my hand.

"Do I have to?"


He stared me down before kicking me out of the room physically and metaphorically. Along the way however he also gave me a hastily written paper that told me where to go for my first "Internship" or so I liked to call it.

For the day, I would be learning from Erisdrem Wararm, a blacksmith who became popular by popularizing a different type of blacksmithing that sped up the amount of time required to forge something properly.

Following the direction, I took multiple left turns, multiple right turns, and eventually got back to the training area. Rechecking the directions, I once again followed them directly back to the same place a couple more times.

Eventually a random dwarf I came upon was good enough to give me the proper directions.

Times like these make me hate the mini-map for having fog-of-war and not allowing me to see places I haven't been. Oh the fun it would be to find my way to somewhere without ever getting lost.

After about half an hour of walking, I finally got to two large metal doors that seemed to comically oversized for your average sized dwarf. After knocking, I heard a bunch of metal fall to the floor, a lot of swearing, and a lot of scrambling to get to the door.

The door opened with a shorter then average dwarf with a very short haircut and beard that were currently on fire at the moment. He also had glasses that had ash or something all over them making it supposedly impossible to see through.

"YES?!" The dwarf both screamed and questioned.

I winced slightly upon hearing his voice. It was a weird mixture of very high pitch and very off key of a regular voice.

"Hi yes, I'm here by orders of the General to learn underneath you for a day." I said while pulling out the paper given to me.

He took a quick look at the paper before turning back to me and once again screaming and questioning at the same time, "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP A BIT. MY HEARING ISN'T WHAT IT WAS LIKE A FEW DECADES AGO!?"

I quickly bought a pen with 1 system point and wrote on the back of the paper what I just said a few seconds ago. Once I was done writing, I turned it to him to read even though I was questioning why the General sent me to this Dwarf of all dwarfs.
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The dwarf took a few seconds to look at my paper before taking off his glasses, cleaning them in his still on fire beard, and then put them back on as they sprouted a small flame on them.

"HMMM, I SEE." He looked up to me after looking at the paper. "I CAN'T READ THIS."

My eye twitched slightly before I mashed the paper into a ball and threw it behind me. I rubbed the sides of my head for a bit and questioned how I could tell him what the General assigned me to do. Eventually I tried something very basic.

I pointed at the room. I then pretended I had a hammer. Then I started to hammer the air. And finally pointed between ourselves.

He gasped in enlightenment.

"I SEE! YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU BLACKSMITHING UNDER THE ORDERS OF THE GENERAL AFTER HE READ THE INITIAL ORDERS OF THE QUEEN BUT FOUND THEM TO BE STUPID BECAUSE SHE WANTED YOU TO SPEND A FEW SECONDS WITH PEOPLE AND EXPECTED YOU TO GET A LOT OF EXPERIENCE FROM THAT!"

I was holding my hands over my ears and was forcing myself to understand what he was saying. Once he did finish speaking, I nodded and gave him a thumbs up to indicate that what he was saying was correct. He cackled both insanely for a few seconds that eventually turned into a hearty laugh.

"Ok, you reader to start learning kid?" The dwarf said suddenly in a crystal clear voice and one that was easily understood.

"Wait... You can speak normally?" I questioned.

"Yup. I got word for the General a few minutes before you got here that you'd be coming and I decided that it would be good to mess with you. Also where did you get that writing device? It appeared to have just appeared out of thin air!"

I looked at the pen in hand before throwing it behind me with the paper that I threw there just a few seconds ago.

"I don't know. Magic or something."

He nodded in understanding.

"Magic can be a weird and mysterious thing. That's why I like to stay here in the forge and work with my hands. Much easier then what those magic people do."

I shrugged as he lead me through the doors into a room that was very VERY hot. He closed the doors behind him as he walked me over to one of the walls that had a little pool of lava flowing into a little pit.

"These are what keep the forge nice and hot." He said as he reached into the lava. "I like to store some of my metal in here before working on them as it allows me to work on them much quicker then if I have to heat them up later."

I nodded my head while wiping away some sweat.

Pulling out a large hammer, he placed some of the metal from the lava on the ground nearby before hitting it with the hammer and causing a large indent into it which seemed impossible because of his size and body frame.

The dwarf was while average size, was still very skinny and looked to have almost no muscle on him. But according to what I just saw, he was possibly one of the strongest dwarfs here. (Or so I think, I haven't met them all yet.)

"So Leo," He asked after hitting it a few more time. "Would you like to give it a try?" as he put the hammer out for me to grab.

I hesitated for a moment before grabbing it and responding with a simple, "Sure."

Chapter end

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