Shiki Volume 1 Chapter 9 part3

3

Yano Tae hurried through the afterglow of the dusk. Coming to Kami-Sotoba, she visited the Gotouda household.

She peered into the house from the veranda, the thin smell of incense lingering from the inside. Gotouda Fuki who had just lost her son was bedridden in her dimly lit living room. The TV was on, empty and superficial shouts of joy flowing out. The entire scene was indeed lonely. It could only be thought of as highlighting Fuki's isolation.

"Fuki-san," her voice came from the veranda. Twice, three times it called out when Fuki finally stirred. It seemed like she had dozed off.

"....Tae-chan."

Tae spoke in a deliberately encouraging voice as Fuki tried to rise to meet her.

"I made too much for dinner again. I made it into a packed lunch, how about having it together?"

Fuki smiled and bowed her head in a nod. That movement was indeed that of an aging woman, and Tae realized a stirring in her chest. Fuki-san was getting smaller. Have we really gotten so old, she found herself thinking lately, three times more than usual.

"Sorry for the trouble all the time," Fuki smiled at Tae.

"It's fine, I just made too much is all."

Tae came up into the living room and placed the wrapped goods onto the low table, opening them up. Fuki rose to prepare the tea but the kitchen she had started towards was already cleaned up, with no signs of having prepared dinner for herself.

"...Would hot tea work, I wonder?"

"I wouldn't mind. Barley tea could be good, too."

She waited for Fuki to return to the living room. As if Fuki were worn out, something about her footsteps seemed unsteady.

"I thought you might not need me to make dinner for you but it looks like it wasn't a problem. Are you eating right?"

Fuki gave a smile that seemed forced.

"I wonder if I'm suffering from the summer heat? ... It seemed like so much work."

"That's no good, not eating like that."

"That's true," Fuki nodded. Opening the lid to the offerings, she wanted to say "it looks delicious" but she didn't seem to have much sign of an appetite. Bit by bit, Tae used her chop sticks to portion it out with her.

"....Fuki-chan, won't you move in with one of your children?" Tae asked. Shuuji had died but she still had two children left.

"My son did say for me to come," Fuki said disinterested.

"Wouldn't that be better? It's not safe, an old lady living alone."

"...I can't get motivated."

"By the time you are motivated, you might not be able to move anymore. If you're living together, If you're going to live with them, then you should try to be useful while your body's still in food condition. If you end up having to be taken care of, nobody will come to live with you."

That's true, was said again with a clear air of indifference.

"Fuki-san, you, isn't your face seeming pale?"

"Oh?" Fuki tilted her ehad.

"I wonder if you aren't sick? Somehow, it seems you might be."

Before she was asleep and such, and it seemed she had no appetite. Tae peered at her childhood friend's face.

"You must be worn out, yes? ....With two funerals, it's to be expected, yes."

Tae nodded. Funerals took a toll on the elderly. Especially when it was a family member or someone around the same age who died, a lethargy hit as if the energy were sapped out of them. More than being merely worn out by the little tasks involved, the confirmation that you were at an age where it wouldn't be odd to die like that too brought you down.

"Are you all right?"

Fuki nodded. Her shoulders were hunched, her eyes rounded, and she shook her head feebly. The life was sucked out of her---that's how it looked to Tae.

"Wouldn't it be better to move in with somebody after all? Your will will come back."

For a while, Fuki didn't answer. She stared into her tea cup for a time, then at last let out a small murmur.

"....I'm seeing dreams of Shuuji." Fuki smiled at Tae, who bilnked. "I saw a dream that Shuuji came back to me. I wonder if Shuuji is coming to take me with him?"

"Fuki-san, that's no good, that kind of thinking."

"....It was a dream.... But, I don't want to leave the village. If I go too far away, I have the feeling I won't see any more dreams like that, so."

Fuki smiled. Tae cast her eyes down. Even if he was dead, she understood well the feeling of not wanting to go to far away from her son.

"Then, you'll have to buck up."

At Tae's words, that's true, Fuki murmured.

Chapter end