Memory Lost Chapter 75

Chapter 75: Giving Up Love for the Rest of Life Part 3

Shao Lun's interrogation officially begins at 8am.

Han Chen and Chatterbox are the ones interrogating him while Xu Nan Bai, as the criminal psychologist, participates as a listener.

"We have already gathered a vast amount of evidence of your crime.  Do you admit to kidnapping, hurting, and torturing Han Sha, Ye Xiang Qing, Zhou Si Jin, and Zhao Hao Hao?" Chatterbox asks.

The last time they inquired about it, Shao Lun was untalkative and was a bit sentimental.  But now he looks as if all energy has been sucked out of his body as he slouches in his chair with his head down and not moving.

"I did it," he says softly.

"Why did you do it?" Chatterbox asks with a stern voice.

He lifts his head.  His fair white face is red and his eyes are filled with hatred, "The police are useless!  No one believed that Situ Yi was the killer!  I did it to let the world see his true nature!"

"Are you crazy?!" Chatterbox slaps his hand on the table, "All the girls you killed were innocent!  What are their lives considered as then?  Are you letting others see his true nature or your true nature?  You've killed people.  Four people!  Do you know how serious this is?"

Shao Lun leans back against the chair.  He opens his mouth with disgust in his eyes but no words come out.

"Is it because you feel inferior?" Xu Nan Bai's calm and serene voice says.  He's also looking directly at Shao Lun, who's like a helpless stray dog right now, "Resentment, inferiorness, guilt……or perhaps desire?  You don't need to rebut anymore.  It's because you know better than anybody else what's deep down inside your heart."

Shao Lun's body shakes.  He takes a look at the unfamiliar man in front of him, then at Chatterbox who has a cold expression on his face and Han Chen, who looks calm but has a pair of sharp eyes.

That's right.  It turns out that he really doesn't need to rebut further.  These officers are exactly right about his mindset, his struggles, and desires.

……

Feeling inferior has always been the case.  Ever since he was little.

Just like the majority of the people at his age, he was unattractive, had an ordinary background, followed the path of growth accepted by the majority of the people in society and was living an earnest and honest life.  The only thing worth praising was that he had rather good grades, but no girl had ever fallen in love with or accepted him because of this.  But after entering college, this bit of advantage disappeared.  He became the most ordinary and easy to neglect person.

His biggest achievement in life was probably finding Ruan Shao Shuang, such a pretty and intelligent girlfriend.  In college, many girls dated rich men; guys from wealthy families switched girlfriends one after the other.  Many luxury cars could often be seen lined up outside of the school's entrance.  Therefore, many were baffled as to why Ruan Shao Shuang was with him.  He asked her as well.

But she smiled and said, "I think you're different than the others.  I observed you secretly before.  You're quiet and very focused.  And I've seen you completing an experiment.  You're the quickest in the whole class.  You just don't like to be in the spotlight."  She pulled onto his arm, "Being together with you makes me feel very secure."

A lot later, Shao Lun finally understood that some men could make a woman feel secure.  But some men could make women become fiercely passionate and crazy in love with them, even willing to burn themselves.

Ruan Shao Shuang loved him.  She just didn't love him enough.  In their love relationship, she was gentle and calm.  What she didn't know was that he was actually restrained yet crazy.

When she went to the best finance company in the country and became the "gold collar" in everyone's eyes, his feeling of inferiority became even stronger and deeper.  Occasionally when he picked her up after work, her colleagues teased, "Your professor boyfriend is here?"  He wanted to explain that he was just a small assistant researcher and would probably need another five to six years to become a professor.  But she squeezed the back of his hand, so he kept silent.

He felt guilty as well.  Just before graduation, Shao Shuang could originally leave the country.  But he begged her not to.  Her heart swayed and she decided to stay in the end.  At the time, she said, "Ah Lun, you owe me a big one this time.  You have to treat me well from now on.  Do you understand?  Even if we break up one day, you still have to treat me well."

He was crying with joy, "How could we possibly break up?"

……

But in the end, he broke his promise.  After they broke up, the night she called him for help, he ignored her.

Later after she disappeared, he remembered the bits and pieces, and looking at the traces she left behind at home, they all became his fault.

If he didn't beg her not to leave the country and forced her to stay, how would her corpse be nowhere to be found now?

If it wasn't because his workload was tremendous at the lab causing him to be unable to accompany her and turning down her dates, how would she had become lonely and fell in love with another man?

If it wasn't because he came from an ordinary family, unattractive and unhumourous, how would she have fallen in the quagmire set up by Situ Yi?

If it wasn't because……

He broke his promise.  But he couldn't help thinking about her every day and night.  He would mistake every office lady with delicate makeup as her.  How was he supposed to live?

Afterwards, there was only one question left in his life: how should he take revenge?

The road ahead was unclear.  How many people would notice a nobody's hatred?

"How did you come up with imitating Situ Yi's criminal psychology profile to kill others?" Han Chen asks.

"Read books," Shao Lun smiles bitterly, "I read a lot of books related to criminal psychology."

In the beginning, he only wanted to follow Situ Yi to collect evidence on his crime.  But after a few months, he still couldn't find anything.  And a thought kept calling out in his head: what's the use of collecting evidence?  Situ's family is rich and powerful.  How difficult could it be for them to come up with all kinds of ways to help Situ Yi escape the charges?

He didn't know how these strange thoughts solidified in his heart.  But they appeared naturally and there were too many reasons driving him to take action: the women from the clubhouse were all filthy.  Whenever he saw them, it made him feel as if he could see the things that lured Shao Shuang.  If he could create the evidence, create a big case, he would be able to guide the police to expose Situ Yi's true nature.  And for the sake of Shao Shuang, he had already decided to give up everything, so what else would he not dare to do?

……

For a quiet man who studied science, everything that happened afterward was like a mathematical equation awaiting for its answer.  Throughout many nights, he studied hard in his room on the elements of criminal psychology.  He listed items one at of time and then scratched them off.  As an outsider of criminal psychology, he drew out Situ Yi's profile after many tries.  And then he turned it into an actual plan to carry out the crimes.

"How did you take action.  Tell us in detail," Chatterbox says.  All three men are silent listening to Shao Lun's explanation as their hearts feel cold and solemn.

"After I sold my parents' house, I financed a car that was exactly the same as Situ Yi's," Shao Lun says, "After finding my target, I would create one to two opportunities where we would bump into each other during the day.  For example, bumping into each other while jogging or bumping into each other coincidently at the parking lot and then get to know each other."

He was originally uncertain if his plan would work.  But it turned out that driving a nice car and wearing an expensive suit would be so effective even when using such a simple and crappy method.  He lied to them saying that he was a college professor and none of them actually suspected him.

Gradually, it became easy from practice.  Even when he interacted with pretty girls, he was able to carry a conversation with them.  He even began enjoying this process.

He usually used ether to make them pass out.  Or he would strike their head directly to knock them out.  And then he would take them back to that small house in the suburbs.

Han Chen and Chatterbox look at each other.  Xu Nan Bai sitting in the back row also looks up.

Chatterbox asks, "Do you remember clearly the process of abusing the victims?"

Shao Lun keeps quiet for a moment.

"I only remember the last one," he answers, "Every time before I start, I would drink a little bit of white wine.  Whenever I drink wine, I would be unable to control myself, and I don't remember a lot of things."

But it's actually for the better in this case.

He still remembers clearly how he tied up the first victim and brought her back.  Looking at her frightened gaze, he panicked and struggled a lot.

"Let me go!  I beg you, let me go!  Professor, I'll give you all the money you want!" the woman begged him.

"Shut up!" he sat facing her with a dark expression.  His throat felt dry, so he drank a big mouthful of water.  He then took the bottle of white wine and started gulping it down.

He thought: what should he do?  If he let the woman go, he'll definitely be put in jail.  Furthermore, his whole plan would go to waste.

But……should he kill her?

He didn't remember what he did after getting drunk.  A few hours later, he woke up with a severe headache.  He saw that the woman was sitting there like a broken doll.  Her body was covered in wounds and blood was everywhere.  And he was just lying by her feet with a bloody knife in his hand.

He was struck dumb seeing this.

Was he a devil?

After becoming drunk, he actually tortured the woman to this unbearable state!

The woman could no longer make any sound.  Watching him stand up muddleheaded, her eyes became even more frightful.  He stood for a long time until only calmness was left in his eyes.  He lifts up the knife and stabbed the woman's heart.

Chapter end