"And I loved her eyes, Julius . " Augustus was telling me, smiling dreamily as we both sat on a bench in the park watching the sunrise . "They were like gravity . No . Stronger than that . Hell, black bloody holes . They captivated my soul, mate . "
I nodded speechlessly with a heart quench at his accurate description . I knew what he was talking about . I then looked away at the empty playgrounds where birds settled and chirped .
Augustus sighed heavily and continued . "And her hands were so tiny . I would've loved to engulf them and warm them in mine, but she would've never let me touch her . Never let me close . Silly, stubborn Sam . "
I then quickly turned to him with a small smile, remembering something I thought he should know . "Do you remember the day she insulted you?"
Augustus nodded quietly, pursing his lips and brushing them with his fingers as he shut his eyes as if in pain .
"That was the same day she admitted to me about her infatuation about you . I literally had to force her to apologize-" I smirked at the memory, surprised at a wave of nostalgia that overcame my senses .
"When you called me-" He said suddenly and laughed hard . "Yes, I remember . God, she had some funny ways-"
I smiled sadly at him .
"Oh God, such a heartbreak . " He muttered thickly, dropping his head and doubling over on the bench to look at the tiles of the park .
I rested a hand on his shoulder . "It's healthy to get heartbroken at times," I told him then cleared my throat . It was entertaining being (or acting?) an older brother . Yet it was awfully new and difficult for me . "Makes you appreciate who and what you've got left and not take them for granted," I continued slowly .
"But it hurts like a bitch . " He groaned (he wasn't crying, or at least I hoped so) holding onto the bench's seat .
"I know . It does . "
He puffed out some air then looked up at me with a 'not-so-serious' contorted face . "Can I have a cigarette?" He asked me and I simply stared at him . Wow, I was even reluctant about this . "Oh no . No no no . Come on! Not cause you're my older brother now, you won't allow me one . Oh no, wait-" he paused to examine me . "-you're scared for me? You care about me little Julius?"
I didn't reply as I lifted my head to busy my eyes with the beauty of the mauve sky .
"You are!" He exclaimed and I sighed, looking back down at his irritable cheesy grin . "Bloody hell!" He then laughed and I dared smile . A little .
"Absolutely not," I persisted, rolling my eyes .
"Then, prove it and give me one!" He challenged, cocking an eyebrow and leaning his upper body toward me . When I continued frowning at him speechlessly, he wriggled his eyebrows teasingly and I had to shove him away .
"Stop being a knobhead," I muttered under my breath and he laughed more .
"I finally got the 'feeling' part of you out! Woohoo!" He hooted and I rolled my eyes . "Bloody Julius Caesar! Wait-" He then stopped to laugh out of nowhere . "Wh-Why the hell are you named after a Roman emperor?"
He laughed harder and I sighed again .
"I happen to have no answer to that," I replied nevertheless . "It's not like I could choose my name . "
He then stopped laughing and looked at me . "It's okay, I can call you Julio . I understand how it feels to have a shitty name . Father seems to have a thing for ridiculous names . "
I almost flinched at my nickname and his mentioning of Father . "Call me Julius Cae-"
"It's over, mate . Once a nickname is out, it sticks . " He laughed again punching the air . I smiled at him and sighed yet again .
"You know something, bro?" he said and I looked at him sighing again (we could start counting already) . He just wouldn't shut up .
"No, I don't know something . "
"I'll tell you then-" He said fidgeting with his ring that I decided to ignore to free myself of the bitterness that'd follow . "It's good to have you back . "
I nodded silently at him and smiled . "Same to you," I then added awkwardly with a neck cock .
"No, really, mate, you don't get me . It's like really good because I know I have someone to talk to about almost anything . Someone who's got my back, you know? It would've been awesome if I got to know you earlier, you know?" He rambled on and I smiled at him .
"Sure, Gustus, I'm there whenever, but I've got a pressing question-" I started and he raised his eyebrows .
"Shoot, brother . Ah, I love how the word 'brother' rolls on my tongue," he said excitedly and I had to stop myself from cringing .
"Are you always that . . . emotional?" I blurted .
"What do you mean?" His lips parted and I chuckled .
"I mean-" I then stopped and stifled a laugh, changing my mind . "You know what? Never mind . "
"No! What were you going to say? You can't do that!"
I chuckled and he raised his eyebrows . "I meant to say, are you always that emotional? As in do you al-"
"I get you . " He interrupted me . "But wasn't it you who told me 'appreciate what I have and never take it for granted' . And now, in the middle of appreciating your ungrateful, dramatic arse, you ask me that insensitive question? Seriously, brother?"
I chuckled, but he looked serious .
"I am an emotional person . I don't know why . " He shrugged with a sigh . "And I guess that's my problem . My feelings always guide me . Like it guided me to you . Even though I knew you could kill me or harm me or something . Especially after Dad's revelations . But, I never really regretted it, you know?" He was saying while I watched a black cat jump up a slide . "I guess, that's also why Dad wouldn't let me work with him . Like you do!"
At that, my neck snapped in his direction . I stared at him but didn't say anything . If he only knew what it took to do my job .
"I can tell you hate it . " He stated carefully and I looked away, furrowing my eyebrows at the bright sunrays that started emerging .
Sometimes staying silent was a bliss .
"But I'd do anything to switch places . " He continued saying . "Be a tough, feared person . That's so cool . I almost envy-" He shuffled his feet .
I shut my eyes and snapped .
"You shouldn't," I cut him off irritably . "There's nothing to envy me for . I'd do anything to live a normal life . To gain forgiveness from those I knew I hurt for some cash or documents," I said thinking of Samantha . Thinking of the guilt that would drown me until I swallowed it all down by a drink or two .
"Do you think I like it that people fear me? Do think I like it that I have to sleep with a hand on my gun under my pillow? Do think it's a good life to live if you can't trust anyone, including your own self and judgments? Going for a simple walk weighs down on me . I don't know who could be targeting a sniper at my back . I don't feel safe in my own damned skin .
"Do you think I like it that I lie to all my friends, everyone, about my real identity? Who I really am, just because I don't want to scare them away from me? Because in reality," I said pausing feeling the anger pulse against my forehead and throbbing in my ears . It was flooding out of me . "-in reality, Augustus, I can't stand myself! What I've been destined to become! I can't stand it when I remember killing a person my father's age or threatening women with their children .
"Because of guilt . Because despite all the heartless acts I've undergone, I can't really be heartless . And I haven't felt so filthy, so damn filthy until I lost my girlfriend and my baby . I felt the pain I was inflicting on others with the apathy that imprinted on my soul . My guilt soared exponentially . Augustus," I paused to shake my head and clench my fists . "I can't stand looking in the mirror . I can't stand," I stopped again to squeeze shut my eyes . "I can't stand the reflection of the guilty sucker staring back into my eyes . It disgusts me and I can't run away from it . One can't run away from themselves, Augustus . Want to envy me for that?"
I fixed him with a sharp glare . His lips were parted, in the name of shock, I thought .
"I didn-didn't kno-"
"And you shouldn't know!" I breathed out . "You wouldn't want to know, Augustus! Father's greatest gift to you is that he placed a barrier between you and his dirty jobs! You should be grateful for that," I almost shouted at him, but then remembered that he was young and probably driven by appearances and what sounded 'cool' .
"I'm sorry . " He muttered and looked down . "I was just . . . curious-"
"I could tell," I snapped, closing my eyes and rubbing them wearily . "And by the way-" I said remembering a point in his conversation that particularly provoked me . "I would never, ever, harm you . Actually, I'm scared that you'd be the one to harm me . "
At that, he looked at up and raised his eyebrows slightly . "How so?"
"I don't know if I should trust you, because I don't know where your loyalty lies . I don't know if my father tells you to shoot me in the head, whether you would shoot me and please Father, or protect me . But I can't help trusting you-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me with a snort .
"Julio . Mate-" He frowned and smiled at the same time . "-if my father asks me to do such a thing, I think I'll faint or get an aneurysm or something . No thinking in there . "
"That's not what I meant-"
"I know what you meant, Julius . I know . And I don't blame you for thinking that way . And we've got a lot of days ahead of us in which I can answer that question of yours . " He smiled and I shook my head .
"Yeah . "
He then leaned back in the bench and started singing loudly to the empty sky and park, while I chuckled and joined him .
Yes, I'd lost my goddamned mind .
---
The loneliness I felt when Augustus left was ironic . I was a hundred times more alert with him, scared it might be a trap for something wrong I did that I didn't know of .
Hanging out with Augustus was wrong .
Hanging out with Augustus was wrong .
Having accepted him as a brother and showing him my soft side was wrong .
But I couldn't deny how much I needed him . I needed a person who I could truly rely on . A constant somebody I could hold on to . A brother .
I was sitting on my bed staring blankly at the TV screen in front of me . It was eight o'clock in the morning and Augustus had been gone at least two hours ago .
Feeling dizzy and absolutely sleep-deprived, I sank in the bed leaving the TV on . At least it made me feel less alone . The TV .
It wasn't for a few minutes that I closed my eyes when my phone rang . I groaned and reached for it on the bedside table and glared at the bright screen .
It was Samantha .
I immediately sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before answering her call .
"Samantha?" I started as I heard silence, then some shuffling before a disembodied voice blared from my phone's speaker .
"This is Julius, right?" A familiar voice said and my head turned .
Amanda . Oh God, don't tell me she told her about my knowledge of her father's death- was the first thought .
I shut my eyes tiredly and replied, nevertheless . "Yes . Mrs Amanda, of course . How have you been-"
"We aren't going to be friends over the bloody phone so get to the point . " She snapped sharply and I winced, surprised .
"I am afraid I don't know what you are talking abou-"
"I bet you do . "
I sighed . "I would really appreciate it if you were more specific, please . "
"What the hell did you do to her?" She yelled and I raised my eyebrows, my heart pounding hard in my chest . Could've something happened to Samantha? Could she have hurt herself?
"I did no-" I was on the verge of panicking when she cut me off .
"About a few days ago she was all grumpy and wanting to kill herself and all of a sudden, she finds out she can be hopeful and wants to perform an eye surgery to get better-" She ranted and I lowered the phone staring at it dumbfounded .
Was I hearing right?
I returned the phone to my ears and frowned . "And may I ask what's wrong with that?"
She faltered a bit, which I found strange, then replied . "Because she's permanently blind . "
I narrowed my eyes . She was lying . I could catch a liar from his voice . I was very experienced at that . But let me play her game .
"Oh really?" I asked trying to sound dismayed . "I'm sorry, I didn't know . "
"Now you do . Stay away from her, Hitler bitch-"
"Julius, if you may," I said gritting my teeth .
"They all are psychotic historic characters, anyway . " She scoffed and I frowned .
What the hell was wrong with that woman?
"Can I have Samantha on the phone please?" I asked making sure I evened my voice because she was really angering me .
"Yes you can, but you may not . "
She then hung up on me and I clenched my jaws in anger . If she only knew how much danger she was putting Samantha in .
I got up from my bed and paced around the room thinking of what to do next . That was definitely not what I expected . I thought that Amanda would be supportive or I wouldn't have told Samantha to tell her at all .
That woman gave me goosebumps .
That woman gave me goosebumps .
Oh well, Amanda, if you don't want Samantha to see me, which I bet is the reason why she hasn't shown up at the park ever since I told her, I'll go to her- I thought with determination .
I started getting dressed .
---
Alexander's POV .
Anger was flames that licked my soul and body . I flung open the door that led to Augustus's room to find him sleeping, covered in green satin covers, his head on a high pillow with a golden satin cover . His face was obscured by his hair and another identical pillow that he pressed over his eyes . His big bed centred his huge room, which had a big balcony on the further end, through which the sun rays streamed in, a big desk in the opposite end and a walk-in closet, whose door was wide open .
"Augustus!" I bellowed solidly, but there was no movement . I frowned and walked angrily to his bed . I removed the pillow he pressed over his head, letting the sun rays fall over his face .
He groaned, waved a hand in front of his face, and then mumbled in a deep, low voice, "Later, let me sleep . " He turned, exposing his bare back as he planted his face in his other pillow .
I clenched my jaws . "Get . Up . Now . "
Augustus groaned before he slowly turned back and finally sat up, grimacing at the sun and rubbing his eyes .
"Yes? What could be so important-" He said yawning . "-that couldn't wait until I woke up?"
"Whose is this?" I snapped sternly throwing at him the jade-green scarf I found tossed on the living room's couch this morning .
I watched his face as he clutched the scarf and stared down at it . He then looked up at me and grinned foolishly .
"Don't lie and tell me it's yours because I know you detest this shade of green," I stated angrily .
Unlike the other one, who loved this colour, for it's the colour of his eyes . And his mother's eyes .
"That's right, Dad, I dislike this shade of green, but Deepika doesn't," he pressed with a sly grin .
"Who's Deepika?" I asked curiously, raising my eyebrows .
"Ever wondered why I am so tired?" He yawned again and stretched as I looked at him in disgust .
"This is a men's scarf, Augustus," I deadpanned and he surprisingly nodded enthusiastically .
"She said she was a bit of a tomboy," was his answer .
"It has men's cologne on it, Augustus," I continued undeterred and he shrugged in disregard .
"It is my cologne, obviously, Dad," he said smiling .
"That's not your smell, I know it-"
"I know . I changed it," he said nonchalantly .
"Show me the bottle," I said gritting my teeth .
"Bad luck, Dad, I just finished the bottle and dumped it at Deepika's yesterday," he said wriggling his eyebrows . "Why are you angry anyway?"
"I am angry because you are lying, Augustus!"
He scoffed . "Why would I lie to you?"
"You were with Julius yesterday, weren't you?"
He stared at me as if shocked .
"Who's Julius? I don't know anyone with name except for the Roman emperor which we studied about in like . . . grade five?" He visibly cringed .
I raised my eyebrows then narrowed my eyes .
"Or wait-" He snapped his fingers and frowned . "Or are you talking about that Julius, the one you said was my half-brother . The fuc-"
"That one . " I further narrowed my eyes at his obscured eyes . I couldn't read them for the first time in my life .
"Or wait-" He snapped his fingers and frowned . "Or are you talking about that Julius, the one you said was my half-brother . The fuc-"
"That one . " I further narrowed my eyes at his obscured eyes . I couldn't read them for the first time in my life .
"What about him?" He pushed back the hair falling over his eyes with a frown .
"Were you or were you not with him?"
He looked at me as if I offended him . "Why would I do something like that?"
"I would ask you the same question . "
"Dad, are you accusing me of actually going and spending time with that bloody vermin? Where do you think my loyalty lies?!" He almost shouted angrily and I shut up surprised .
"I don't know anymore," I said sadly and sighed .
"You don't know?!" He repeated with emphasis, getting off the bed, only in his boxers and socks, his hair everywhere . He would pass as a kid if it weren't for his tall and lean, muscular built .
"Don't blame me, son," I muttered, feeling my heart sink at how much he'd grown up . "I hurt you . "
He pushed back the hair off his eyes and looked at me questioningly . His eyes were a disturbed blue ocean looking at the world .
"I didn't know, though," I said referring to the skinny bitch I killed a few days ago . Augustus's heart was broken . I was sure . Just like I was sure he was lying because I knew he wouldn't touch anybody if his heart was someone else's . My son and I know him . Loyal .
"Whatever . " He replied bitterly and I could sense his anger, sadness, and desperation pierce my heart . "Mistakes happen . "
He looked away and faced the balcony .
My heart sank when his shoulders slumped . "She isn't a mistake, Augustus," I managed to utter, looking at his back's muscles that tensed at my words .
"For you, it seemed to be," came his soft, void of emotion reply .
Feeling his heartbreak, I looked away from him not knowing what to say as I sat on his bed . "I am sorry," I decided to say, looking back at his back . He ran his fingers through his thick, almost-white hair that shone lusciously in the sunlight . He then dropped his hands and started fidgeting non-stop with the ring on his finger .
He then stopped
"It's okay, Dad . " He said, took a deep breath and turned to me smiling . A smile that didn't reach his eyes . It didn't make me feel any much better .
His face was slightly red and his eyes teary, but I ignored- what could I do? He then approached me and sat next to me on the bed .
When he looked at me, his eyes . . . watered .
"But Deepika is something else, Dad . Forget, Katy . " He said referring to the stripper . "Another species-" He stopped, unable to form complete sentences, to shut his eyes and stop his lips' quivering . "Wild!" He continued with difficulty . "The kind of wild we both love! I've got to introduce you to her one day . "
He then shook his head and laughed . "Her hands were so tiny, Dad . " His glassy eyes then widened as if in realization . "Like you said Mom's were! You need to spend a night with her for real . I just really, really hope she's still there, because-" He inhaled sharply and wrapped an arm around my shoulders . "-because, she says she likes change . She doesn't stay in one place . She likes variety, she said . I bet she's in a much better place . "
I tried my best to plaster a smile on my face, but I knew it kept falling . So did my heart .
"I would love to meet her," I whispered . "Deepika . "
Augustus then grinned, his eyes crinkling, releasing tears from the sides, as he raised his index finger . "If she returns . "
He then jolted up from next me . "Come on, Dad . I'm starving . Let's have breakfast, okay? I'm gonna jump in the shower!" He blabbered, blindly taking clothes from his closet . "Tell, them to prepare Nutella crepes especially for me . Don't ask why . I'm craving them . "
He then hurried out of the room, nudging his right elbow with the door's casing .
"I'm so sorry, son," I muttered to myself feeling my eyes water .
***
A/N: Welp . You all know who Deepika is, yeah? Again, less action, more drama, but more of it is to come! ;)
RVCCC!!! xoxo
Thanks for reading!!
And I loved her eyes, Julius . Augustus was telling me, smiling dreamily as we both sat on a bench in the park watching the sunrise . They were like gravity . No . Stronger than that . Hell, black bloody holes . They captivated my soul, mate . I nodded speechlessly with a heart quench at his accurate description . I knew what he was talking about . I then looked away at the empty playgrounds where birds settled and chirped . Augustus sighed heavily and continued . And her hands were so tiny . I wouldve loved to engulf them and warm them in mine, but she wouldve never let me touch her . Never let me close . Silly, stubborn Sam . I then quickly turned to him with a small smile, remembering something I thought he should know . Do you remember the day she insulted you? Augustus nodded quietly, pursing his lips and brushing them with his fingers as he shut his eyes as if in pain . That was the same day she admitted to me about her infatuation about you . I literally had to force her to apologize- I smirked at the memory, surprised at a wave of nostalgia that overcame my senses . When you called me- He said suddenly and laughed hard . Yes, I remember . God, she had some funny ways- I smiled sadly at him . Oh God, such a heartbreak . He muttered thickly, dropping his head and doubling over on the bench to look at the tiles of the park . I rested a hand on his shoulder . Its healthy to get heartbroken at times, I told him then cleared my throat . It was entertaining being (or acting?) an older brother . Yet it was awfully new and difficult for me . Makes you appreciate who and what youve got left and not take them for granted, I continued slowly . But it hurts like a bitch . He groaned (he wasnt crying, or at least I hoped so) holding onto the benchs seat . I know . It does . He puffed out some air then looked up at me with a not-so-serious contorted face . Can I have a cigarette? He asked me and I simply stared at him . Wow, I was even reluctant about this . Oh no . No no no . Come on! Not cause youre my older brother now, you wont allow me one . Oh no, wait- he paused to examine me . -youre scared for me? You care about me little Julius? I didnt reply as I lifted my head to busy my eyes with the beauty of the mauve sky . You are! He exclaimed and I sighed, looking back down at his irritable cheesy grin . Bloody hell! He then laughed and I dared smile . A little . Absolutely not, I persisted, rolling my eyes . Then, prove it and give me one! He challenged, cocking an eyebrow and leaning his upper body toward me . When I continued frowning at him speechlessly, he wriggled his eyebrows teasingly and I had to shove him away . Stop being a knobhead, I muttered under my breath and he laughed more . I finally got the feeling part of you out! Woohoo! He hooted and I rolled my eyes . Bloody Julius Caesar! Wait- He then stopped to laugh out of nowhere . Wh-Why the hell are you named after a Roman emperor? He laughed harder and I sighed again . I happen to have no answer to that, I replied nevertheless . Its not like I could choose my name . He then stopped laughing and looked at me . Its okay, I can call you Julio . I understand how it feels to have a shitty name . Father seems to have a thing for ridiculous names . I almost flinched at my nickname and his mentioning of Father . Call me Julius Cae- Its over, mate . Once a nickname is out, it sticks . He laughed again punching the air . I smiled at him and sighed yet again . You know something, bro? he said and I looked at him sighing again (we could start counting already) . He just wouldnt shut up . No, I dont know something . Ill tell you then- He said fidgeting with his ring that I decided to ignore to free myself of the bitterness thatd follow . Its good to have you back . I nodded silently at him and smiled . Same to you, I then added awkwardly with a neck cock . No, really, mate, you dont get me . Its like really good because I know I have someone to talk to about almost anything . Someone whos got my back, you know? It wouldve been awesome if I got to know you earlier, you know? He rambled on and I smiled at him . Sure, Gustus, Im there whenever, but Ive got a pressing question- I started and he raised his eyebrows . Shoot, brother . Ah, I love how the word brother rolls on my tongue, he said excitedly and I had to stop myself from cringing . Are you always that . emotional? I blurted . What do you mean? His lips parted and I chuckled . I mean- I then stopped and stifled a laugh, changing my mind . You know what? Never mind . No! What were you going to say? You cant do that! I chuckled and he raised his eyebrows . I meant to say, are you always that emotional? As in do you al- I get you . He interrupted me . But wasnt it you who told me appreciate what I have and never take it for granted . And now, in the middle of appreciating your ungrateful, dramatic arse, you ask me that insensitive question? Seriously, brother? I chuckled, but he looked serious . I am an emotional person . I dont know why . He shrugged with a sigh . And I guess thats my problem . My feelings always guide me . Like it guided me to you . Even though I knew you could kill me or harm me or something . Especially after Dads revelations . But, I never really regretted it, you know? He was saying while I watched a black cat jump up a slide . I guess, thats also why Dad wouldnt let me work with him . Like you do! At that, my neck snapped in his direction . I stared at him but didnt say anything . If he only knew what it took to do my job . I can tell you hate it . He stated carefully and I looked away, furrowing my eyebrows at the bright sunrays that started emerging . Sometimes staying silent was a bliss . But Id do anything to switch places . He continued saying . Be a tough, feared person . Thats so cool . I almost envy- He shuffled his feet . I shut my eyes and snapped . You shouldnt, I cut him off irritably . Theres nothing to envy me for . Id do anything to live a normal life . To gain forgiveness from those I knew I hurt for some cash or documents, I said thinking of Samantha . Thinking of the guilt that would drown me until I swallowed it all down by a drink or two . Do you think I like it that people fear me? Do think I like it that I have to sleep with a hand on my gun under my pillow? Do think its a good life to live if you cant trust anyone, including your own self and judgments? Going for a simple walk weighs down on me . I dont know who could be targeting a sniper at my back . I dont feel safe in my own damned skin . Do you think I like it that I lie to all my friends, everyone, about my real identity? Who I really am, just because I dont want to scare them away from me? Because in reality, I said pausing feeling the anger pulse against my forehead and throbbing in my ears . It was flooding out of me . -in reality, Augustus, I cant stand myself! What Ive been destined to become! I cant stand it when I remember killing a person my fathers age or threatening women with their children . Because of guilt . Because despite all the heartless acts Ive undergone, I cant really be heartless . And I havent felt so filthy, so damn filthy until I lost my girlfriend and my baby . I felt the pain I was inflicting on others with the apathy that imprinted on my soul . My guilt soared exponentially . Augustus, I paused to shake my head and clench my fists . I cant stand looking in the mirror . I cant stand, I stopped again to squeeze shut my eyes . I cant stand the reflection of the guilty sucker staring back into my eyes . It disgusts me and I cant run away from it . One cant run away from themselves, Augustus . Want to envy me for that? I fixed him with a sharp glare . His lips were parted, in the name of shock, I thought . I didn-didnt kno- And you shouldnt know! I breathed out . You wouldnt want to know, Augustus! Fathers greatest gift to you is that he placed a barrier between you and his dirty jobs! You should be grateful for that, I almost shouted at him, but then remembered that he was young and probably driven by appearances and what sounded cool . Im sorry . He muttered and looked down . I was just . curious- I could tell, I snapped, closing my eyes and rubbing them wearily . And by the way- I said remembering a point in his conversation that particularly provoked me . I would never, ever, harm you . Actually, Im scared that youd be the one to harm me . At that, he looked at up and raised his eyebrows slightly . How so? I dont know if I should trust you, because I dont know where your loyalty lies . I dont know if my father tells you to shoot me in the head, whether you would shoot me and please Father, or protect me . But I cant help trusting you- I tried to say, but he interrupted me with a snort . Julio . Mate- He frowned and smiled at the same time . -if my father asks me to do such a thing, I think Ill faint or get an aneurysm or something . No thinking in there . Thats not what I meant- I know what you meant, Julius . I know . And I dont blame you for thinking that way . And weve got a lot of days ahead of us in which I can answer that question of yours . He smiled and I shook my head . Yeah . He then leaned back in the bench and started singing loudly to the empty sky and park, while I chuckled and joined him . Yes, Id lost my goddamned mind . --- The loneliness I felt when Augustus left was ironic . I was a hundred times more alert with him, scared it might be a trap for something wrong I did that I didnt know of . Hanging out with Augustus was wrong . Having accepted him as a brother and showing him my soft side was wrong . But I couldnt deny how much I needed him . I needed a person who I could truly rely on . A constant somebody I could hold on to . A brother . I was sitting on my bed staring blankly at the TV screen in front of me . It was eight oclock in the morning and Augustus had been gone at least two hours ago . Feeling dizzy and absolutely sleep-deprived, I sank in the bed leaving the TV on . At least it made me feel less alone . The TV . It wasnt for a few minutes that I closed my eyes when my phone rang . I groaned and reached for it on the bedside table and glared at the bright screen . It was Samantha . I immediately sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before answering her call . Samantha? I started as I heard silence, then some shuffling before a disembodied voice blared from my phones speaker . This is Julius, right? A familiar voice said and my head turned . Amanda . Oh God, dont tell me she told her about my knowledge of her fathers death- was the first thought . I shut my eyes tiredly and replied, nevertheless . Yes . Mrs Amanda, of course . How have you been- We arent going to be friends over the bloody phone so get to the point . She snapped sharply and I winced, surprised . I am afraid I dont know what you are talking abou- I bet you do . I sighed . I would really appreciate it if you were more specific, please . What the hell did you do to her? She yelled and I raised my eyebrows, my heart pounding hard in my chest . Couldve something happened to Samantha? Could she have hurt herself? I did no- I was on the verge of panicking when she cut me off . About a few days ago she was all grumpy and wanting to kill herself and all of a sudden, she finds out she can be hopeful and wants to perform an eye surgery to get better- She ranted and I lowered the phone staring at it dumbfounded . Was I hearing right? I returned the phone to my ears and frowned . And may I ask whats wrong with that? She faltered a bit, which I found strange, then replied . Because shes permanently blind . I narrowed my eyes . She was lying . I could catch a liar from his voice . I was very experienced at that . But let me play her game . Oh really? I asked trying to sound dismayed . Im sorry, I didnt know . Now you do . Stay away from her, Hitler bitch- Julius, if you may, I said gritting my teeth . They all are psychotic historic characters, anyway . She scoffed and I frowned . What the hell was wrong with that woman? Can I have Samantha on the phone please? I asked making sure I evened my voice because she was really angering me . Yes you can, but you may not . She then hung up on me and I clenched my jaws in anger . If she only knew how much danger she was putting Samantha in . I got up from my bed and paced around the room thinking of what to do next . That was definitely not what I expected . I thought that Amanda would be supportive or I wouldnt have told Samantha to tell her at all . That woman gave me goosebumps . Oh well, Amanda, if you dont want Samantha to see me, which I bet is the reason why she hasnt shown up at the park ever since I told her, Ill go to her- I thought with determination . I started getting dressed . --- Alexanders POV . Anger was flames that licked my soul and body . I flung open the door that led to Augustuss room to find him sleeping, covered in green satin covers, his head on a high pillow with a golden satin cover . His face was obscured by his hair and another identical pillow that he pressed over his eyes . His big bed centred his huge room, which had a big balcony on the further end, through which the sun rays streamed in, a big desk in the opposite end and a walk-in closet, whose door was wide open . Augustus! I bellowed solidly, but there was no movement . I frowned and walked angrily to his bed . I removed the pillow he pressed over his head, letting the sun rays fall over his face . He groaned, waved a hand in front of his face, and then mumbled in a deep, low voice, Later, let me sleep . He turned, exposing his bare back as he planted his face in his other pillow . I clenched my jaws . Get . Up . Now . Augustus groaned before he slowly turned back and finally sat up, grimacing at the sun and rubbing his eyes . Yes? What could be so important- He said yawning . -that couldnt wait until I woke up? Whose is this? I snapped sternly throwing at him the jade-green scarf I found tossed on the living rooms couch this morning . I watched his face as he clutched the scarf and stared down at it . He then looked up at me and grinned foolishly . Dont lie and tell me its yours because I know you detest this shade of green, I stated angrily . Unlike the other one, who loved this colour, for its the colour of his eyes . And his mothers eyes . Thats right, Dad, I dislike this shade of green, but Deepika doesnt, he pressed with a sly grin . Whos Deepika? I asked curiously, raising my eyebrows . Ever wondered why I am so tired? He yawned again and stretched as I looked at him in disgust . This is a mens scarf, Augustus, I deadpanned and he surprisingly nodded enthusiastically . She said she was a bit of a tomboy, was his answer . It has mens cologne on it, Augustus, I continued undeterred and he shrugged in disregard . It is my cologne, obviously, Dad, he said smiling . Thats not your smell, I know it- I know . I changed it, he said nonchalantly . Show me the bottle, I said gritting my teeth . Bad luck, Dad, I just finished the bottle and dumped it at Deepikas yesterday, he said wriggling his eyebrows . Why are you angry anyway? I am angry because you are lying, Augustus! He scoffed . Why would I lie to you? You were with Julius yesterday, werent you? He stared at me as if shocked . Whos Julius? I dont know anyone with name except for the Roman emperor which we studied about in like . grade five? He visibly cringed . I raised my eyebrows then narrowed my eyes . Or wait- He snapped his fingers and frowned . Or are you talking about that Julius, the one you said was my half-brother . The fuc- That one . I further narrowed my eyes at his obscured eyes . I couldnt read them for the first time in my life . What about him? He pushed back the hair falling over his eyes with a frown . Were you or were you not with him? He looked at me as if I offended him . Why would I do something like that? I would ask you the same question . Dad, are you accusing me of actually going and spending time with that bloody vermin? Where do you think my loyalty lies?! He almost shouted angrily and I shut up surprised . I dont know anymore, I said sadly and sighed . You dont know?! He repeated with emphasis, getting off the bed, only in his boxers and socks, his hair everywhere . He would pass as a kid if it werent for his tall and lean, muscular built . Dont blame me, son, I muttered, feeling my heart sink at how much hed grown up . I hurt you . He pushed back the hair off his eyes and looked at me questioningly . His eyes were a disturbed blue ocean looking at the world . I didnt know, though, I said referring to the skinny bitch I killed a few days ago . Augustuss heart was broken . I was sure . Just like I was sure he was lying because I knew he wouldnt touch anybody if his heart was someone elses . My son and I know him . Loyal . Whatever . He replied bitterly and I could sense his anger, sadness, and desperation pierce my heart . Mistakes happen . He looked away and faced the balcony . My heart sank when his shoulders slumped . She isnt a mistake, Augustus, I managed to utter, looking at his backs muscles that tensed at my words . For you, it seemed to be, came his soft, void of emotion reply . Feeling his heartbreak, I looked away from him not knowing what to say as I sat on his bed . I am sorry, I decided to say, looking back at his back . He ran his fingers through his thick, almost-white hair that shone lusciously in the sunlight . He then dropped his hands and started fidgeting non-stop with the ring on his finger . He then stopped Its okay, Dad . He said, took a deep breath and turned to me smiling . A smile that didnt reach his eyes . It didnt make me feel any much better . His face was slightly red and his eyes teary, but I ignored- what could I do? He then approached me and sat next to me on the bed . When he looked at me, his eyes . watered . But Deepika is something else, Dad . Forget, Katy . He said referring to the stripper . Another species- He stopped, unable to form complete sentences, to shut his eyes and stop his lips quivering . Wild! He continued with difficulty . The kind of wild we both love! Ive got to introduce you to her one day . He then shook his head and laughed . Her hands were so tiny, Dad . His glassy eyes then widened as if in realization . Like you said Moms were! You need to spend a night with her for real . I just really, really hope shes still there, because- He inhaled sharply and wrapped an arm around my shoulders . -because, she says she likes change . She doesnt stay in one place . She likes variety, she said . I bet shes in a much better place . I tried my best to plaster a smile on my face, but I knew it kept falling . So did my heart . I would love to meet her, I whispered . Deepika . Augustus then grinned, his eyes crinkling, releasing tears from the sides, as he raised his index finger . If she returns . He then jolted up from next me . Come on, Dad . Im starving . Lets have breakfast, okay? Im gonna jump in the shower! He blabbered, blindly taking clothes from his closet . Tell, them to prepare Nutella crepes especially for me . Dont ask why . Im craving them . He then hurried out of the room, nudging his right elbow with the doors casing . Im so sorry, son, I muttered to myself feeling my eyes water . *** A/N: Welp . You all know who Deepika is, yeah? Again, less action, more drama, but more of it is to come! ;) RVCCC!!! xoxo Thanks for reading!!
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