Daughter of the Emperor Vol 1 Chapter 14

This kind of empty silence was incredibly uncomfortable.

'It was also a bit, just a little bit, heavy to face Keitel with that kind of face.
That's right... To be honest, it was actually really quite heavy (burdensome) for me.
So heavy that it actually weighed me down.
I thought that we had gotten used to each other by now, but we were still far apart as usual.'

The pressure and sense of danger coming from the distance separating us was slowly cutting off my air. I already knew that he only showed this kind of face to me, but it wasn't because of the fact I was his daughter. I was pretty sure that it had more to do with the fact that he was absolutely positive that I would never be able to remember any of this.

It was a wall.

That was what he automatically put up as a rule and it was blocking others from coming close.

It was very hard.

It was also very thick.

I reached out to him with my hand. Since my arms were so short it didn't take long for them to reach their detestation.

My hand caressed his cheek. Keitel didn't reject nor did he accept it.

All he did was watch as he simply left me alone.

He was somewhat like a voyeuristic tourist, only watching me see what I did and what I would do next. It felt very soft.

I could actually feel his short breaths and the sensation of his skin at the end of my fingertips.

Only at times like this, I felt he was an actual living being.

Normally, he felt more like a masterpiece than an actual human being. It might be because he was much closer to a masterpiece than a regular human.

'Why was everything about him so twisted?
He couldn't be like this from the start right? He must not have always have been like this...
Sometimes I wonder about his past, his life and what he was thinking in his head.
Therefore...' That was it. I didn't think past it.

That was my limit, anything more than that felt like I had no right or place in his life.

"Stupish."

What broke the silence was, as usual, my voice. Keitel looked into my eyes and furrowed his eyebrows.

"What is she saying?"

'I am saying that you are stupid. That's right, you.'

"Dada."

I didn't want to call him Papa yet. I know I acknowledged him as my father since he saved my life, but at the moment, I felt it was truly despicable for him to decide on his own to sleep with me, so I refuse to call him that. He didn't deserve to be called Daddy yet.

As I waved both my arms up in the air at him, I gave him a bright smile.

A small smile spread across Keitel's lips as he saw my beaming face.

"Her vocabulary has gotten better."

A maid had entered when I wasn't paying attention and now she was preparing for the night. The small table by the bed now carried ice and red wine. It was the maid from earlier who must have brought them.

"Does a baby have to sleep in the crib?"

Even through Keitel didn't bother to turn his head, the maid somehow figured out he was talking to her.

The maid demurely gathered her hands and bowed her head.

"As long as she doesn't fall from the bed it is fine if she sleeps on the bed, your majesty."

"Is that right?"

"It is just that you have to be careful not to press the baby's body down with your own body."

He wordlessly looked at me with a smile big enough to rip and spread over his face. No, it was similar to a smile but was really more of a look of ridicule.

"I want to play with her and put her to sleep."

'You just want to use me to play and then fall asleep.
I feel very anxious for some reason. Perhaps, could it be?! Will I die from suffocation? Not only will I suffocated but will it be because of my own father?
No, impossible... Getting rolled on and crushed to death of all things!
Instead of getting rolled to death it is better to just get assassinated!'

"Have a good dream."

I looked at Keitel as he laid me by his side and pursed my lips.

'Hey, Abei (dad) treat me preciously. I am still a baby.'

Cold lips touched my forehead, but I still felt dread.

'Ah, that good dream you suggested is really a nightmare, right?'

After five months had passed I found myself waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. I found it strange as it happened more frequently as of late and my irritation grew as dawn became my hour of awakening.

'Ah, I woke up again.'

Normally, if you wake up in the middle of the night sleep should immediately overcome you but for some reason, it didn't come.

'Ah, why me.'

My opened eyes just stared at the ceiling of the bedroom. As my eyes got used to the darkness I could make out words carved in the ceiling. It seemed to say 'Royal 12th Palace'. If I am wrong then whatever.

'Ah, my body is feverish. Am I getting the flu?'

Even I could feel my own body temperature was going up. I wanted to cry, but I had no energy to spare to even cry. *SOB SOB*

As I nibbled on my finger and tried to turn my body, something hard got in my way.

'What is this?'

When I raised my head, it was Keitel of all people who was at the very front of my nose.

"Hguh!'

'What is this? Why is this human here...'

Then I realized...

'Oh yeah, this is Keitel's bedroom.'

I cursed at my own stupidity and slowly edged away from him.

'I don't want to get assassinated (rolled over) by him.
Anyway, whoever's father this is he is very handsome.'

For a moment, I forgot about my fever and I raised my empty hand (which I wasn't sucking on) to lift the scattered hair on his forehead. I smirked as I lightly touched his long eyelashes. I guess even with the fever I still had energy left over to enjoy staring at his face.

Keitel's sleeping face was different. I heard everyone's sleeping face looked meek.

His face while sleeping really was meek. A sleeping Keitel was a small shock in its own way. It was my first time seeing him like this yet it didn't feel like the first time. He still looked like a young boy. Looking at his boyish face made my heart ache.

'Yup, that's right. He's only twenty-six by Korean standards. He's at the age where he would have finished the army, graduated from college and would have been ready to look for work. If he was the fast type, he could be a father but it was more likely he was still a kid just becoming independent.'

When I thought this way I was able to let go.

I still couldn't adjust perfectly to this world but I realized Keitel was a man of that age.

"Forgibe yoush."

'That's right, I will forgive you.'

All those times you talked so insensitively and all your clumsy actions, I will forgive it all at once with a large heart. I am twenty-five but I also don't know much about babies, and if I was forced to take care of one I would have definitely been as clumsy as Keitel. That's right. When I think of it this way I can understand your awkward actions until now.

I was a newbie at being a baby but he was also a newbie at being a dad. He had just met a life form called a baby how could he possibly know how to treat it? Just by looking at his attitude until now I know that he never once had an interest in babies before, not even as large as a fingernail.

'To think that that kind of human has a baby...'

"Stoopish."

I recalled what Cerera had told me before - that I only had this man. At first, I didn't understand what she meant. 'I think I get it now. I really only have this man.'

"Papa."

I found Keitel's sleeping hand and held it tightly. My hand was so small and white compared to his rough skin full of calluses. It looked pitiful so I didn't dislike the rough texture of his hand.

'He really was my dad.'

I let out a small sigh.

Even if I didn't add on anything special  this one fact it was enough for me.

The fact that he was my dad.

I once again realized that this was the parent-child bond. Even if you disliked their personality, the way they talked, the way they looked and hated the way they thought... A father is a father. It's not something that can change just because I don't like it. It's that kind of thing. It was the same for him too.

The child is the same. You can't sell or change it because you don't want it.

'I am the one that needs to adjust. What else can I do? I need to deal with it.
However, now that I decided... Keitel, you need to be prepared. I am not your average innocent daughter at all. If you look down on me, the one who will end up hurt is you!
Okay, Abei?'

"Sleeping like the dead, as always."

'Huh?'

"Is he not sleeping, but dead instead?"

The voice I just heard now made me lose my breath for a moment.

'This voice...'

I quietly calmed my racing heart and looked over at the ceiling. The only thing I could see was the darkness in the room. In that dark room, an especially dark shape was there. No, it was a person.

'Could-could it be? Another guest of the night?!'

"Huh?"

The other side must have discovered me too. I tried to kill my breathing.

'Can a person's eyes glow in the dark? No, that was not the eyes of a human, but it doesn't seem to be the vertical slit of a cat's eyes either.
It was quite mysterious.No, it was frightening to the point that it overcame any curiosity.'

"Oh, ho?"

As I tried to kill the sound of my breathing, the black shape came towards me. I tightened my grip on Abei's hand.

'Abei wake up, Abei! This is an emergency! Your daughter looks like she is going to die soon! Abei! Dad!'

"Can you see me?'

'Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō' (南無妙法蓮華經)...

It felt like the time mom caught me playing on the computer in the middle of the night or the time I sneaked into the kitchen to steal food at night and got caught red handed.

'How can I describe this shivering thrilling feeling?' I just cried inwardly. *Weep weep*

'Am I dead now? To think another night guest came to visit me. Abei's here but I am still going to die again. That's right, my life is damned. That's right, it's damned! Even if you don't force me to face it I already knew my life was damned from the start!'

"So, no?"

'What the hell, is it a ghost?'

"Huh?"

'Huh, what the fuck is huh. What the hell is wrong with this guy?'

The night guest, whose face I couldn't even see, simply crossed his arms. Then he let out a surprised voice as he wondered.

"...Can even talk."

'Who in the world was he talking to? Was he simply mad?
The shadow didn't seem to be a night guest, then logically speaking, it only leaves the option of he either a ghost or a lunatic. What were the chances of a lunatic breaking into the Emperor's bedroom? So I guess he can only be a ghost. Is that right?
Seriously, am I not looking at a night guest who came to kill me, but a ghost instead?!'

It was only a moment, but his eyes darkened.

"You can really see me."

The eyes suddenly zoomed in closer almost shocking me to death!

'Agh! Abei save me! Your daughter is going to be shocked to death!'

"....Are those words?"

'Who the hell are you talking to?'

"Huh? I am talking to you."

'So who are you... Huh? Me?'

I was so shocked I lost my breath for a second. I looked at him with a stupidly shocked expression. That guy, whose face I couldn't make out wordlessly smiled and came closer.

'Who, who, who... Who are you?!'

"Huh? Me?"

We seriously understood each other. I wasn't sure if I should've been more surprised at the fact he could understand my words or that he wasn't a ghost.

"What are you going to do after you find out? Are you going to steam it and eat?"

'What is he saying? His nonsense is an art.'

As my face stiffened the approaching figure grabbed his belly and started laughing. I was shocked that the crazy laughter didn't wake Keitel up.

Abei, your ears are useless.

"Ah, what the hell. It's Keitel's daughter. What are you doing here?"

I felt taken back at the fact he knew me. 'Who was he?'

For some reason, it made me more nervous that he knew me. I made a face.

'What are you going to do after you find out?'

"Oh dear, you are already mad."

The guy came closer, sat near the bed and reached out to stroke my cheek. Unlike his big awkward hand, his hand felt soft and gentle, but I felt my skin crawl. 'Hurry up and move your hand.'

"Quite cute."

'Who? Me?
Well. Yes, I am quite cute. My cuteness is to the point I can conquer this planet. My ambition is to conquer the world with my cuteness... Not!'

I clicked my tongue at my silliness when the soft laughter stopped. Then the eyes that shone blue in the darkness coolly let out a chill gleam.

"However, human child. How can you see me?"

'The weather changed already...'

I looked out the window with a slightly taken aback expression.

The trees had already changed to their multi-colored clothes and leaves were falling down.

'Ugh, it looks hard to clean up. No, this is not important...
Fall was coming.
Damn, even if I try to get into the mood my own personality gets in the way.'

"Here, Princess. This-"

The baby food Cerera was giving me changed for I became eight months old. Of course, I was still drinking milk but I was given both milk and baby food as if I was eating rice and soup.

Today was smashed kabocha.

"Ma ma. Ma ma."

"That's right. Good. Is it delicious?"

"Delishouis."

As I copied her with an awkward accent, Cerera laughed brightly.
That's right I can now say words similar to human speech. Well, my accent was strong so I still couldn't speak properly, which was a bit disheartening. 'Why can't I speak when I have a mouth? This must be the will of the heavens who are jealous of my intelligence! Yeah, right. It's supposed to be like this...

'"Peek-boo."

As I chewed on the sweetness of the kabocha in my mouth, Elaine popped up from the bottom. What I really wanted to do was give her a pathetic look full of contempt but since she did it for me, I gave her a bone.

"Here Kid,I will give you a smile."

"Oh my, the Princess likes it."

Elaine sat near my crib, lowered her chin on the rails and smiled brightly.

'Hey, I don't like it at all but I am laughing for your sake okay?
I seriously can't tell if she is the baby or I am.
Whatever I just want to eat. Yum, yum. Kabocha is delicious. Num, num.'

Chapter end