Blue Screen Blues 2 Chapter 2: "You Oughta Know"

After impact Ryan's soul was transported into a black void. He stood in this weird place. Suddenly the whole scenery changed. There was a bright blue screen in front of him that was massive. Out of nowhere Words appear on the screen.

:( Your body has ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info then we'll Restart for you

42% Completed.

He tries to understand where he is and what's going on. Then he realizes that he is dead.

He laughed a little bit at the situation he didn't know he was going to get a blue screen of death at the end of the crash.

15 seconds pass and the void he is in goes dark, then the void turns into a Room.

A screen appears and shows his body on the ground with a no U-turn sign laying on top of him.

He feels a touch on his shoulder. Behind him was a 5-foot 11 woman. she had long black hair with Violet contrasting highlights. She looked in her mid-40s and was wearing a Violet tank Top And black skinny jeans and holding a glass of wine in her hand. The first thing that came to his mind was that resembled Alanis Morrissett.

"Oh, that's fucked up!" she asks him while he's looking at the picture on the wall of his lifeless body.

"What the no U-turn sign that's laying on Top of me? Yeah that's pretty fucked up and Pretty symbolic" He said while laughing.

She looks at him frowns at him.

"No DUMBASS you threw your life away because of a bad day. That's whats fucked up here." She explains to him.

"Wait am I in hell?" He asks her while he looks at his spirit body. He was still wearing his halo suit, but it was all mangled and damaged and covered in blood and dirt.

She takes a sip of wine and smiles at him.

"No but we will get to that" She said with mysterious tone.

"I am assuming your god?" he says while sitting down and crossing legs.

"I am one of them, Yes. My name is Alexandria" she said while playing with her glass of wine.

"Wait one of them? I thought there was only god" Ryan said in confused tone.

"Monotheism doesn't make sense to me. You think this whole universe was created by one person? Hell no. This place is so complicated. It took A large team of people to make everything work" she Said while kneeling Infront of him.

"What do you mean large teams?" he asks her

"I will give you an example. I can't even tell You how many god hours it took us too actually decide on the name "Light", let alone how to invent it. Our teams have worked their ass off to define things that make this "Universe" work. Like laws of physics, the laws of chemistry, Inventing minerals, for chemistry, and everything else. Life was by far the hardest challenge we had to create due to its rules, complexity definitions we had to keep defining, and rewriting. Life was a bitch to create that had so many loopholes in it we had to keep finding and fill in." She tried to explain.

"Oh, so this whole world was a team based project? I didn't know that. But Why exactly was life so hard to define and make?" He said with enthusiasm. He wanted to learn something new right now.

"The Idiot who invented the penis, got a little cocky. And Started trolling the other teams who were defining Biology. He demanded that it be in EVERY damn design. But the God in charge of single celled life had a different idea. She had the idea to invent breasts to counter troll him, after that the sex wars got out of hand. Long story short: We changed our god shapes from light body's, to show if we are on team penis, or Team breasts. in the concept of "Male" or "Female". It's the oldest running argument we still argue about with which design is better. But either way you look at it we made an agreement that life can't exist without either Faction." That's kind of just one out of COUNTLESS problems we had with Creating life" She said while running her hand through his hair.

She rubs some dried blood off of his ear.

"I see, thanks for sharing that. I didn't even know that Even gods troll each other" He said with amazement.

Alexandria takes a sip of wine and looks into his eyes and smiles.

"Of course, we do! Deep down We are like a whole bunch of Collage kids. Life was something we invented to watch and kill time. Its boring up here sometimes." She said while she takes off his chest piece. She looks at the wound he died from during the impact and snaps her fingers. She changes his appearance. He isn't bruised and dirty anymore. He is wearing Scarlet and black colored cloths.

"Sorry, but I Find it so funny you died in that Halo costume. You looked like you catastrophically failed an ODST drop. I just made you better to look at. I also put you in normal clothes." She said while he lifts up his shirt. His wounds are healed, and he looks at the shirt and shorts she put on him. He liked her style.

"Thanks this is awesome" He said while standing up.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Yes We do Troll each other time to time. Where do you think the platypus came from? It was slipped in past the person who was overseeing the creation of Mammals." She said while laughing.

Ryan laughs uncontrollably. "I always wanted to know the answer to that!" He smiles at her and she gets serous.

"But on a Serious note, Life is Precious. It took Many, many eons for us to get life right. Even When I created you, I took my time to customize you perfectly." She said while taking a final sip of her wine.

"Wait you created Me?" He asked.

"Yes, I did. I normally Hit the Randomize button when I make people, but every now and then I will take time to make somone unique like you." She said while giving him a hug. She pulls him in close and Gently runs her hand down his back.

"I'm so pissed you killed yourself, I had a special puppy I was going to give you when you got married. But I guess I can't do that, now can I?" She said while patting his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know all this. I was just having a bad day and was ready to escape the Suffering I thought my life was just going to get worst if I stayed down there. I just wanted out." He said while he thinks about his life."

"I know your mad about your mom abandoning you and you took the Emo path in life; Look I am also a firm believer in free will and destiny's. But you Life is so damn precious I wish you knew what you lost" She said while she snaps her fingers.

The Screen on the wall changes from white to scene of Ryan's funeral.

It shows pretty high amount of people from his school coming out to pay him respect. It shows his dad wearing an AC/DC shirt and all black, his sister decked out in My chemicals Romance clothes. and His Grandmother was even wearing "Escape the Fate" Band Cloths and even was decked out in makeup by his sister. She wore all this while she was hunched over a Walker. She was sad. His whole family felt a Void their heart.

Looking at a flyer on the floor it appears every was asked instead of wearing formal wear just wear band related cloths Ryan may have liked.

Ryan looks at the screen and tries to find his mom, she wasn't there.

He looks at his classmates and his teachers. Some of the teachers decided to dress Formal, and some people like his Math teacher even Decided to wear a Warlock cosplay outfit along with his wife who was dressed as a succubus.

"Hey, I'm going to be right back I need to get more wine from the party I'll leave you alone so you can watch your funeral" she said while placing her hand on his shoulder. She gets up and walks out and opens a portal and disappears.

His classmates are wearing Costumes, and Other favorite things he liked. Even Chad, the kid who caused this who mess was there. It looked like he Felt bad for causing all of this. Judging by the bruises on his face it looks like the other kids beat his ass for causing all this mess. He wasn't wearing anything Special, just a Sum 41 shirt.

Ryan thinks about something, and the screen pans over to it. He figures out how to control this Big ass h screen with his thoughts. He thinks hard and he lowers the light in the room.

He looks at his casket and he is wearing his halo suit that was repaired slightly. It had a battle-hardened look to it, and his helmet he died with was between his legs. And he had an MA5B battle riffle in his hand tucked in the edge of the casket. The ceremony Started and His Sister giving a speech.

"Thank you everyone for showing up for Ryan's Funeral. Is so great that he was well liked by a lot of people" she said while crying. "He would still be here if his Gel layer didn't fail." She said while a few people laughed.

"But We all know he's not dead. We all know Spartans never die; they only go missing in Action. I would like to believe my brother is somewhere out there Kicking ass, and in the process of overthrowing The Devil as we speak." She said while crying and trying laugh at her own joke.

"Ryan's funeral will be music based. With speech. If his spirit is here with us, I know he's craving music. Big Brother this song is for you. I miss you so much!" she said while leaning over his Casket.

His grandmother walks up to the computer and puts on The Song "The Guillotine" From Escape the fate plays and Ryan scans the room with the screen. some People are bored and are looking on their phone. He reads a headline on someone's phone. "Florida Man Dressed as "Halo" Dies in a high-speed crash on a Motorcycle."

Ryan laughs. "Well I at least I made it to meme hood" he said while reading the article quickly.

He listens to the song, and next up was the metal girl from his math Class.

She walks up to the stage and gives her speech. "Ryan was a very sweet person, He was awesome and always brough a smile to my face with his jokes, He was very smart, and I liked him A LOT. He would have loved to have dated him. I know something about him that he hated, and to show my Respect to him I'm going to play a Song he hates. Rest in piece Ryan. Hope this song makes you Suffer with the Rest of us down here who are all missing you" She said smiling.

The next song that came on was "In the End" by Black Vail Brides

"Wait I don't hate this song! I just don't like the band!" He said while looking at her.

He listens to the song, and the song feels stronger than it did when he was alive.

Next Up was his math teacher. He had Badass cosplay costume of a warlock. His wife was next to him dressed up in her succubus outfit. He stood up on stage and explained to everybody how he was very awkward but yet very smart." He Explained he never backed down from a challenge and always applied himself if he was ever selected to come up to the board. He also Shares how Ryan got him hooked on Blessthefall. As a gag for being a math teacher He also wants to teach everybody a music lesson.

He pulls out a big whiteboard. He draws Escape the fate, blessthefall, Falling in Reverse, and My Chemical Romance.

He Pulls off an excellent 5-minute Musical/math lesson with a really great break down and musical timeline. He explains to everybody there is a musical bond here. a trait that was Stemmed from just from one dream. That one thing had A Common Denominator. That Common Denominator Being My Chemical Romance.

He ends his speech with "Ryan was a spur that could have sparked something big" He is the common Denominator of why we have all come together. I hope he's doing okay. I hope to play a Video game with him up in heaven someday". After he says that the the teacher plays: "Stay Still" By Blessthefall.

Ryan smiles. "Not a bad lesson for a warlock math teacher. He will forever be the best teacher ever!" he said while he enjoys the song.

A whole bunch of people come up and share their thought on how Ryan lived a very fun life. They played music and joked about him. He had a few Roasts, but they were funny to him.

Chad was the last one to talk. He walks up to the stage and talks to everyone.

"Hello, my name is Chad, I am "That guy" or "That person" who caused all this mess. I am very sorry for your lost. I wish I didn't lie about Tooth incident that I caused myself. I shouldn't have lied. He was a very nice guy during gym, and I won't Lie I was Pretty jealous of him. I am very sorry for being the Catalyst that started this mess. Chad then walks up to the computer and starts playing "Tomas the Tank Engine" Theme song. No one really knows what he's doing. He walks over the the casket and Gives him a Twin barrel salute. "G.F.G" He said to the casket. He then walks out. Chad yells: "If you guys want to beat me up again, I'll at school Tuesday. Have a nice burial" he said as he walked out.

Ryan Falls down on the floor laughing his ass off.
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"I am not even mad! That's a pretty good! G.F.G. to you bud" He said while listening to the song and Flicking him off back.

After he leaves the Church, His sister walks up to the computer wants to hit stop. But She decides to let the song play. People start getting up and start heading outside. It was now time for the Burial.

He watches Brandon, His dad, and a Few others Gather around the casket. His sister puts his helmet on his head while crying. She also places his shattered cellphone in his left hand. She then shuts the Casket.

Alexandria Appears behind him and places her hand on his shoulder.

They watch as He is carried by a few of his friends and his Family to his Burial spot.

His sister plays "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance as the Casket is lowered down.

All of a Sudden, the tears start falling, and the screen then goes black. The funeral was over.

"Didn't know I left such an impact. I thought I was just going to have a few friends here. I really didn't know I was going to have a packed church." He said with a depressed tone.

"Well you now know you left a big impact on these people's life's" She told him while taking another sip of wine.

"Alright so Whats next in life? Am I going to be reincarnated as a Cheeto? Or am I going to hell now?" He asks in a jokingly manor.

"You need to stop acting like this is a game take this Seriously. You need to be taught a lesson on the importance of life. Ryan If you only knew how much time I put into creating you, you would understand why I've had 3 glasses of wine today" She said while hugging him really hard.

"So, I am going to hell" he said with a depressed tone. He can feel her hugging him harder like shes trying really hard not to punch him.

"Oh, Not quite. Lately we have been in the process of Restructuring Hell. The whole "Soul Prison" Idea is just a waste of our resources. We been putting the horrible people to work on our other project worlds" she said while letting him go to take another sip of wine.

"For example, we have a Dinosaur world where we will spawn those damned souls in and make bets to see who will survive the longest. It's Kind of fucked up, and at the same time funny. You should see Hitler's High-score! She said while Giggling. "He's got a Game plan every time we deploy him down there. He really hates Velociraptors!" She said while feeling slightly tipsy. The Alcohol is now starting to work.

"We also have Stalin running Beta test stage worlds as a test dummy. He's Currently testing out some New "Anime" world That uses a Different Graphics engine than the rest of the dimension. We might leave him in there. He gets along with the Inhabitants very well there."

Ryan Chuckles a little bit. He's can picture these 2 things in his head.

"We been busy creating a lot of dimensions just for fun lately. Our latest project we opened was 1 year ago. We just made an RPG Server world, that's a Hot hit right now. We left the "Law of physics" Guy out of this project, and We were allowed to have magic, monsters, and a whole lot of new things we never tried before. It's a lot like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy, both games which I know you have played before. But instead of being behind a screen you're in a real-life experience. A lot of people in heaven have been Breaking down our door to try it." She said while grabbing his arm.

"Currently Me and the other god's and goddesses are having a party for how popular that server is." She said while stumbling around. She pulls him into her arms and hugs him tight again. Shes obviously drunk. He can feel her breasts pushing against his chest.

"I want you to go play in it. You will learn a few Important things about the value of life." She said while slurring her speech and leaning into him.

"I am absolutely in! This sounds like the Konosuba Book I was reading before I Died. I would be honored! to live in this type of world" He told her.

She smiles at him. Good, because you weren't going to have any choice anyway.

She snaps her fingers and the two get teleported to a Starting Room.

Chapter end