Book1: Prologue

I once again made a wish.

May that star high up in the sky come to me.

So that I, standing on the ground, will also be able to reach that beautiful star someday.

I made a wish without even knowing what it means.

Ignorantly, I just aimlessly made a wish.

Harrieta, lying on a pile of hay, looked dreamily at Edwin. He did not look back at her until the end, or maybe he did not notice her gaze. She pouted her lips.

'Anyway, you're quite stubborn.'

His attitude was really hateful. Harrieta opened her mouth to say a word to him.

But she soon closed her mouth as she couldn't say anything.

His fine golden hair fluttered in the wind, and his stretched neckline led to broad shoulders that seemed to be holding the world together. In addition, every time he moved, the well-knit muscles hidden under the thin clothes danced lively.

Even though she was only looking at his back, it didn't matter to her. She knew his features so well that if she wanted, she could draw his face on a paper with her eyes closed. His face, with two eyes as blue as sapphires, was not enough to be summed up with the word 'perfect'.

'Beautiful man.'

To Harrieta, Edwin was like a shining star, a mirage that she could never reach. How much I have longed and hoped to see myself in those eyes! How desperate I was when I thought that no matter how hard I struggled, my life would never intertwine with his. 

Harrieta reached out to Edwin. She knew that the gap between him and her was so big that it could never be bridged.  But she didn't care about it.

Once again, her faintly trembling fingers, only hovered in the air, unable to reach him.

Today was like yesterday.

And tomorrow will be like today.

Harrieta slowly retracted her hand. It felt as if she had swallowed a handful of dry sand. Her neck reflexively moved. Feeling somewhat teary, she buried her face in her hands.

“Miss Harrieta?”

A soft, calm voice like a spring breeze called her.

“Miss Harrieta, are you all right?”

Is it strange that the atmosphere has suddenly calmed down? Edwin hurried to Harrieta's side. She smiled with her face still hidden in her hands.

Since when did it start? Whenever it came to Harrieta, no matter how small a change it was, he always noticed it but reacted like a ghost. Thinking about it now, it must have been annoying to him, but he never pretended not to know her.

To everyone, he was only a cold-hearted man, but to her, he was a warm and tender-hearted person.

“If you're trying to tease me, please stop. Otherwise, I might get really angry.”

'You would say so but you would never be angry at me.'

“Please raise your head and look up at me. I was too blunt earlier. Is that why you're like this?”

'Look at that. The end of your voice is already wavering.'

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“I must have been too harsh. I was just worried……… it's my fault. It's all my fault, so please don't cry.”

A cool business-like voice came out. Just like always, it didn't take much long for his voice to waver. At first, it didn't matter what the reason was. He always treated her very carefully, as if he was holding his breath, but his behavior towards her was earnest.

This earlier made her delirious with joy, but now she just felt terribly sad.

Can I leave him alone knowing that he's unaware of my feelings? Indeed, is that even possible? The more he valued her, the more her heart, that she thought was already broken, broke more little by little.

“Miss Harrieta. Please…”

Edwin, unaware of Harrieta's thoughts, once again earnestly asked.

“Please show me your face.”

They were both standing so close that they could feel each other's breath. It wasn't that difficult to reach out and touch the other person if you wanted to. Nevertheless, he did not dare to bring a finger near her face.

No matter how close they came, the gap could not be narrowed.

No matter how much she wanted, the gap would never be narrowed.

Harrieta lowered her hands. Then she saw Edwin looking at her with a worried expression on his face. Her star was as beautiful as she first saw it. No, now it was even more.

'Edwin, you know. I…you, I keep you…….'

Harrieta managed to swallow the words that almost came out of her mouth. Her head felt like it was stuck in the water, but she somehow endured it. She took slow breaths and pressed down the overwhelming emotions. Then, she smiled, forcibly pulling up the corners of her mouth, which kept trying to go down.

“It's a joke. You fell for it again, right? So don't keep ignoring me.”

No human could ever reach the stars, and no moon could ever reach the sun. So it was okay. Even if she couldn't accept it with her heart, she could understand it with her head. That day, Harrieta decided to bury a piece of her heart that lingered in her mouth, somewhere deep inside her.

Chapter 1

'I'm bored to death.'

Harrieta, who was idly standing on the railing, sighed deeply. A white whirl of breath rose into the cold night air and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.

'I wish I could disappear from here like my breath.' Thinking such gibberish thoughts, she stretched her body and cleared her mind. Her back, neck and shoulders were a little stiff.

There were so many ornaments on her hair that it was hard to find an empty spot on her head. It was all because Lillian had told her to meticulously prepare herself, in case she encounters the chance of a lifetime. The weight of all the ornaments was so heavy, that even a simple task of standing upright seemed to bring her a big headache.

'It's all useless.'

Harrieta frowned at the white laced sleeves that stretched out under her wrist. Lillian was very thrilled to see her all dressed up, but Harrieta was dissatisfied with her look. It was because her reflection in the mirror was too unfamiliar and unpleasant. She was forced to wear clothes that didn't fit her, and she looked rather tacky because of the overdressing.

She just wanted to tear off all the accessories on her hair, as well as the lace on her sleeves, but she thought of her parents back in her hometown and somehow managed to endure it for them.

It had already been four months since Harrieta came to Lavant. The Mackenzie couple were done with her self-indulgent and free-spirited nature, ignoring manners and dignity as a lady. So they sent her to Lillian in Lavant.

Although Lavant was not the capital of the kingdom, it was still a large city that could not be compared to her hometown Philioche.

'Would she change her way of thinking and behavior if she interacted with more people and attended social gatherings regularly?'

The Mackenzies were desperate enough to hold on to the slightest hope.

Lillian was an aunt who Harrieta had never met before. So Harrieta was worried that the sudden meeting might become strange and awkward.

However, Lillian, who had seen her niece for the first time, welcomed her so warmly, that Harrieta found all her worries had been unnecessary. Lillian really seemed very pleased to meet her. And Harrieta soon realized why.

She didn't even get time to unpack and adjust to the new environment. On the night of her arrival in Lavant, Harrieta was led by Lillian to attend a social gathering. It was possible because she was still under 16 and hadn't gotten a formal debut.

She attended a number of social gatherings, ranging from small tea parties with fewer than ten people in attendance to dazzling balls with hundreds of people. The number of social gatherings that the two had attended in the past four months was so high that it could not be counted even if they folded all ten fingers.

As time went by, Harrieta became tired of the monotonous busy life.

But on the contrary, Lillian became more and more lively and motivated. She was looking forward to seeing her niece, who had grown up in the countryside. She hoped that her niece would meet the criteria of some noble family and help her make relationships.

However, contrary to her wishes, the young Harrieta was not very popular among the men. Moreover, her free-spirited nature and naive words and deeds were not easily accepted by the aristocrats, who had grown up in a strict and formal environment.

Harrieta was naturally alienated from the crowd, and whenever she attended the social gatherings, she would likely spend her time alone in the corner of the room or on the balcony rather than chatting with others.