“Can you help me get up?”

“Of course, miss”

I ignored her suspicions and reached my hand towards her, the maid caught my hand and helped me up. When I got up I sat down in the bed and told the maid,

“It's nothing exciting”

“It was just a fall”

The maid took her handkerchief out of her arms and wiped my face with it. When I saw the handkerchief again it was stained red.
Only then did I realise that my nose was bleeding.

“You have to wash your face anyways, so I'll get some cleansing water. In the meantime cover your nose with this”

The maid handed me the bloody Handkerchief.
She wasn't waiting for an answer so she just turned her back and left the room.

Drip, Drip

Drops of blood started soaking my pyjamas, since the pyjamas I was wearing was white the blood that dripped over was more noticeable.
Quietly watching the blood drip to my pyjamas, I felt a bit sorry. It was only a few minutes ago that I intentionally bit my arm till it bled.

I lightly covered my nose with the handkerchief, it was hard to breathe.

I opened my lips and started breathing through my mouth, then I carefully got out of my seat.

Fortunately, I didn't fall this time. Step by step I made my way towards the curtain with faltering steps.

As I pushed the curtains up, Light started filling the room. Out of reflex I frowned and tried blocking the sun with one hand, but changed my mind and opened the window instead.

As I opened one of the windows, cool wind started tickling my face and drove away the smell of the heavy perfume.

I looked out the window and saw the gardener that has been diligently watering the flower beds since the morning.

As I was looking at the window, I became surprised

A woman with red hair was looking at me with a handkerchief over her nose.

It was me.

My appearance was low

“Its a face that is good to look at”

The voice of Duke Linne, Who adopted me, rang inside my head. As I was staring at the reflection of myself with contempt, I started mumbling over the handkerchief over my nose

“I don't like the color of my hair, It looks like I am wearing it over my head. But It can't be helped, you don't want to wander around the gutter for too long”

There was one reason why I was adopted by Linne. It was because this face was decent.

The Duke Linne needed a good-looking girl, I came into his eyes while he was wondering around the Suburban Orphanages.

Around that time, the war, which broke out in the name of continental integration, has just ended, as a result a lot of Persecutions occurred frequently

For me, who had been abandoned by my birth parents and lived in an abandoned temple that was destroyed, Being left in a orphanage after war wasn't a big change

But not everyone was a orphan from birth like me, the cries of children who became like me one day all of a sudden did not stop for a while. They were all left in orphanages and when orphans looking for their parents were overwhelmed, most of the orphanages were out of space and couldn't receive any more children.
I was one of those many children.

When I was adopted everyone looked at me with envious eyes. He didn't reveal himself as a noble but it was obvious that he was a man from a rich family.
Therefore there was a hidden belief that if you were chosen, you would eat well and live well.

I also believed that, that's why when I was chosen I felt superior to everyone and thought I was special. There was no children that wondered why someone who looked rich would visit an unnamed orphanage in the outskirts of the country

It may be because everyone blind and believed that wherever they ended up would be better than the orphanage

I was blinded by the same thoughts too.

Especially when I found out that the family I was admitted to wasn't just a rich family but one of the 5 Duke households in the entire empire, I couldn't shake off the belief that I was different from others for a while.

It was a huge rise in status that was nearly impossible to be achieved. But at a young age it was only natural to be excited as if I had become the main character in a fairy tale with a happy ending.

I put down my handkerchief, the nosebleed seemed to have stopped.

As I was holding the blood stained handkerchiefs the maid who said she would bring water came back and announced her presence.

“I'm coming in now, my lady”

I didn't answer because I knew that she would come in anyway and continued to look at my reflection through the window.

The door opened and I felt the presence of the maid in the room.

“My lady, the Duke says that he has something to say. Lets get you ready and head downstairs.”

The Maid started approaching me as she said so and closed the window.

I turned my head as the maid glanced at me. The way she looked at me still had suspicions in her eyes.

“Open the window”

“If the room loses its smell the master hates it.”

“Open it up”

My repeated order forced the maid to open the window.

“But don't go near the window, the wind outside is cold.”

I listened to her and started washing my face, after doing so I had to dress up lightly and meet the Duke

I changed into the clothes that the maid prepared for me and sat in front of the dressing table.

I saw my red hair in the mirror. I dyed my hair a while ago to follow her, the emperor's real companion.

Before that I had silver hair, but even that wasn't my original hair color.

I never walked around with my original hair color since I entered this house due to the pressure from Duke Linne who hates my hair color.

As I blankly stared at myself in the mirror, the maid combed through my hair and put on make up. In the meantime, I started thinking about my future plans.

I tried everything I possibly could during my past 5 lives, but no matter what I did there has never been a happy ending.

All my efforts were futile and as long as I lived with the surname “Linne” the same ending will just repeat

Therefore, I should no longer be tied up to this household

In fact in my fifth life, Linne saved his own ass by turning against me and blaming me for all the crimes he had committed

People in this family didn't consider me as their daughter, I was simply a product that was used and discarded whenever needed

I had to get out from all of this, nevertheless I couldn't run away without a proper reason

Unless I made a proper plan I would be caught in no time

First, I had to start saving money, this way I could eat and live by myself
Right now I didn't have a single penny or a personal possession

The Jewelries were bought and given to me by maids only during special activities. I never touched or choose it myself, thats how my life was

Everything was decided by the will of others and I have been simply leaning on others. I lived my life trying to gain even a drop of affections from others, I once again realised that I had nothing

In a situation like this, it was impossible to even go out to the hall by myself, let alone run away

Since I came back to the beginning where nothing happened I needed time, time to save money, time to plan an escape, time to think about what to do in the future

I wouldn't need a long time, there is only a year until she comes back to life. I had to finish all the preparations before that happened

After dressing up I went to meet the Duke. As I got out of the room It was easier to breathe, the smell of the perfume following me was way less

“Put the scented candles away until I come back”

“Yes, But…?”

“You are going to disobey my orders?”

“Of course not, miss, but I added them because I thought Duchess would hate it otherwise”

“This is my room, not my mothers. Don't mind my mother and take away the candles”

I only had one day left in the room anyways

A day. I wanted to spend that short time in a place that didn't smell that bad

The maid who was silent for a while replied, “Okay” as she looked at me with suspicious eyes

Regardless, it was worth it

Usually, if it was my mother's words, I would always obey. I always remained as quiet as possible and was loyal to the Linne family, there was never a moment of defiance.

When my mother filled my room with scented candles saying I smelt bad and sprayed me with some perfume, I convinced myself to think that it was all done in consideration of me.

It was stupid.

They were never looking at me, far from caring about me, all she did was draw a line between me and Linne family

Although we had the same surname it was simply an act that showed someone from a low birth like me could never live in the same world as them

As I followed the maid, I was walking while looking at her back I started feeling dizzy. It was getting more and more difficult to breathe, and I felt sick.

I stopped walking because I felt that I couldn't move anymore, the maid who was leading the way turned her back and looked at me with a puzzled face, I felt something warm come up from the base of my mouth

I hurriedly closed my lips and started coughing, While coughing I felt a liquid on my palm.

I took my hand away from my mouth and looked down, My hands were red. It was red.

“….My lady?”

My legs once again felt weak

I reached out to the air in a gesture to catch anything, but there was nothing that could be caught, my world had suddenly collapsed . I closed my eyes as intense pain pierced through my body.+

It truly was a different beginning than before.