The Returner Chapter 269

"I was also really shocked at first. The first summoning to Berafe in several thousands of years, so I thought that at least some child on the level of an Archmage must've been responsible for it. But when I got there, I found a young boy with not a drop of Mana in him, so can you imagine how flabbergasted I was?" (Erukana)

"Why didn't you just leave, then?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Ehehehe~, darling. Seriously, you know how to crack a funny joke." (Erukana)

….Uhm, I don't think he was cracking a joke, though?

No one on Earth would be joking with an expression like that, you know? (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"Groan….." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk groaned in misery, but it seemed that Erukana was oblivious to his plight as she continued on.

"So, like, I was planning to go back, but then…. I was actually bored back then. I mean, it was my first real holiday in thousands of years, so there I was, thinking that maybe I should just create a connecting chain just in case, so I signed the contract with him." (Erukana)

"I guess it was a sheer stroke of luck for Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, then." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Luck??

Yi Ji-Hyuk was almost overcome by an impulse to stretch Choi Jeong-Hoon's mouth, capable of uttering something so easily, left and right to see how far it would stretch before tearing in half.

"No, it isn't. It was I who got lucky running into my darling back then. Heheh." (Erukana)

"……………"

Choi Jeong-Hoon covered his face.

Something… was wrong here.

This couple, they seemed to be strangely well-suited for each other, yet it was also rather disgusting to watch. It was kind of like looking at a perfect pair of cockroaches, and feeling quite irritated by that fact? Something like that?

However, their external appearance ratio is too imbalanced.

Even if you say that Yi Ji-Hyuk's face isn't bad enough to be unpalatable, you also can't objectively say he's a nice-looking guy either. Yet, Erukana is eye-searingly gorgeous, so, this….

Mm…. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"Definitely a squid, then." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"What was that??" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"N-no, it's nothing." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon sneakily shifted his head away.

Well, let's be frank here. Everything in this world is relative, isn't it!!

You pair up a regular handsome dude next to a woman that gorgeous, his looks would wither in an instant, but it's none other than Yi Ji-Hyuk, so…. how should I say it? It's like…. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

One wouldn't claim that Yi Ji-Hyuk was an ugly duckling, sure, but this pair was no longer on the level of the Beauty & the Beast but more like the Beauty & the Orc, instead.

Of course, it wasn't as if Yi Ji-Hyuk wanted to be a part of this scene to begin with, but what could Choi Jeong-Hoon do when tears automatically blocked his view?

"So, whenever I got bored, I went over to chat with my darling." (Erukana)

"Is Berafe different from this place in that it's connected to the demon world? I was under the impression that it takes a mighty effort to cross over to this world." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"Oh, that. No, it's not that different." (Erukana)

"But, how did you go there so easily?" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"Oh my goodness. You're rather stupid, aren't you?" (Erukana)

"…………."

This will be my first time being called stupid in my life!!

Sure, fine, you're a demonic being and whatnot. But the thing is, my level of intelligence falls into the top 0.1% of the entire human race, I'll have you know!! (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"How can you say something like that after knowing who I am? I am the Succubus Queen. I can go and meet my contractor any time I want. I went through his dreams." (Erukana)

"….It's been my fervent wish to fall asleep properly once in my life." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Ah…." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

So, that's why he became so twisted like this.

I should've known.

A dude who hadn't caused any incident of note before disappearing to another world, yet he comes back as an utter scumbag. So I was wondering what happened, but here was the reason for it. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"Aaaand~, after I kept meeting my darling like that, I realised how much of a cool guy he was!" (Erukana)

"That's not possible." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"What was that?" (Erukana)

"Oh, no. I was saying, if it's Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, he is indeed a cool guy." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"You think so too? Ehehe." (Erukana)

King's ears are donkey's eaaaars!!

King's……

Uwaah! Where the freak is a bamboo forest when you need one?! (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

Completely not caring whether Choi Jeong-Hoon's innards were rotting away or not, Erukana continued on with her tale, a bright smile still etched on her lips.

"He was so gentle and smooth, you know?" (Erukana)

‘Lies.' (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"He was so understanding, and generous too…." (Erukana)

‘You're going to need a lot of soap at this rate!' (Choi Jeong-Hoon) (TL note at the end)

"And to top it off, he's so romantic, too." (Erukana)

Choi Jeong-Hoon gave up right there and then on understanding anything Erukana was saying. To compensate for stop caring about her, he chose to shift his gaze over to Yi Ji-Hyuk instead.

"Please, explain yourself." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"…….." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

His attitude when asking for an explanation was so forthright that Yi Ji-Hyuk found himself instinctively opening his mouth.

"You know I'm not that kind of a person." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Yes, correct." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"Right, you aren't." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"No need to even say it." (Seo Ah-Young)

"….Stop it with the vocal trio." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk dry-coughed to clear his throat.

What a merciless, bloodless and sympathy-less bunch of people. Is it so difficult to just listen without retorting? (Yi Ji-Hyuk's inner monologue)

"But, think about it for a second." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"About?" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"What other examples would she have to compare against me?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"….Ah….." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon could understand then.

Every single male Erukana encountered throughout her entire life must've been either demonic beings or straight-up demon kings. So, compared to those folks, Yi Ji-Hyuk would've come across as a perfect, polite and very romantic gentleman, indeed.

That was for certain.

"B-but, if you say it like that, didn't Berafe also have human males?" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"Twenty years to demons are about 20 days in human time scale. What can she do with a man who'll grow old in 20 days? It'll be like, he'd be dead after a night's romp. Something like that." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Oh….." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Well, that certainly did sound about right.

"And besides, men in Berafe are not that much different from demon kings, you see. If people from the Joseon era crossed over to that place, I'm sure they'd be treated as women's rights activists there. I mean, those fools, they don't even see women as fellow human beings, you know? I was so shocked about it after arriving there for the first time." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon nodded his head.

He didn't know the exact level of Berafe's civilisation, but still, one only had to take a look at those numerous countries in the present-day Earth that still failed to give women equal rights as men. In fact, some of them were even worse compared to the Joseon era.

So, it wouldn't be so strange to learn that women's rights in Berafe were worth even less than a dog's balls.

"And I ended up in a place like that." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Hah…." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

What's the best way of describing that?

Well, it's the birth of the legendary women's rights activist, then.

Even the general common sense of a modern person would be seen as heretical in a place like that. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"Ng! Ng! He was so gentle and sweet that I thought I was going to melt, you know?" (Erukana)

"….It'd been nicer if you did really melt." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"My darling is so good with jokes, don't you think? Kyah-hahahaha!" (Erukana)

What the hell. Is she deliberately doing that?

Or, does she really think he's joking? (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

He couldn't tell which one of the two it was, but Yi Ji-Hyuk seemed to be familiar with such a reaction by now as he simply continued to spit out one sigh after another.

"That's why I asked him to marry me first! Those surprised eyes of my darling back then!" (Erukana)

Choi Jeong-Hoon shifted his sullen gaze over to Yi Ji-Hyuk next.

"….I was lonely, okay?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Why don't you crash land in a world where you know no one, and try to survive when everybody treats you like a monster? You'll soon learn how happy you'd get when someone shows how much they like you. (Yi Ji-Hyuk's inner monologue)

Choi Jeong-Hoon heard Yi Ji-Hyuk's inner monologue and nodded his head.

"I don't need anything else. Just the face alone will be more than satisfactory enough in my case." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

SLAAAAAP!!

"Kkeok!!" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

The impact force resounding from his back was so severe that Choi Jeong-Hoon couldn't even scream properly as he went down on his knees.

Was this how dying feels like??

What kind of an object would make him experience this much pain??

"I think your clothes are torn." (Jeong Hae-Min)

Jeong Hae-Min's slightly worried voice came to him next.

"That looks painful." (Erukana)

As a matter of fact, the slap was so vicious that even the demon king was worried about him!

Just before he could scream out in sheer pain, Affeldrichae extended her hand outwards.

"Heal." (Affeldrichae)

He noticed that some kind of white rays of light entered his body. With that, all of his crippling pain dissipated.

"I…. I almost died!!" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"It'd been nicer if you did." (Seo Ah-Young)

….Let's refrain from saying scary things like that. Please. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

Choi Jeong-Hoon avoided meeting Seo Ah-Young's gaze as she emitted bone-chilly air. It was as if Kim Dah-Som had possessed her or something.

"O-okay, so…. why are you acting this way now?" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Yi Ji-Hyuk replied with a soulless expression.

"….I didn't know back then. I had no idea that marriage was the graveyard of one's life." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"No, that's not true, darling. It's a blessing." (Erukana)

"I didn't know it'd last for over one thousand years." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"It's only been a short thousand years." (Erukana)

"Please, stop." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Tears rolled down Yi Ji-Hyuk's face as he spoke.

"Didn't you hit me, a perfectly okay person, with all sorts of magic with the excuse of making me stronger?! Didn't you drag me, someone who was fine without it, to the demon world, saying that I need to train there?!" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon quietly nodded his head.

Mm, so this….

So, the reason for Yi Ji-Hyuk's demon world sojourn that caused the demon kings to gnash their teeth is this woman, then.

If you get technical about it, she's the true enemy of the demon world, isn't she? (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"That's how you got stronger, right? Hehe." (Erukana)

"I only wanted to return home! There were other methods, too!!" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Eii~, that's no good. A man is all about his abilities. You gotta be successful in life first, wouldn't you agree? Because I worked so hard for you behind the scenes, you got to completely wreck other demon kings left, right and centre, right?" (Erukana)

When Choi Jeong-Hoon first heard that a mere human being had managed to utterly rape and pillage all those high and mighty demon kings, he thought it was truly a victory for humanity, but as it turned out, there was such a hidden story behind it.

He couldn't tell whether he should laugh or cry here.

"So, let me get this straight…." (Jeong Hae-Min)

Thankfully for him, someone else here decided to step into the minefield in his stead.

"You still wish to insist on being his wife, is that it?" (Jeong Hae-Min)

"H-nnnng?" (Erukana)

Erukana let out a seductive snort and looked over at Jeong Hae-Min.

"What's the matter with that?" (Erukana)

"The person in question says he doesn't want you." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"Doesn't want me? My darling is?" (Erukana)

Erukana grinned brightly and stroked Yi Ji-Hyuk's cheek.

"I guess you don't know much about him, then. When it comes to my darling, what he says and how he acts are totally different, you see. He might say stuff like this right now, but he's not pushing me away, is he? Since you didn't even know that, you don't have any hope." (Erukana)

"Eeek!!" (Jeong Hae-Min)

Miss Jeong Hae-Min.

You might get dragged to a research facility at this rate. Please, you gotta slow down your oscillation. (Choi Jeong-Hoon's inner monologue)

"Why aren't you saying anything?! If you don't want to be in this situation, you gotta say it out loud!" (Jeong Hae-Min)

The arrow was shifted over to Yi Ji-Hyuk.

"Groan….." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He groaned in pain.

"If it could be solved with words, I'd have said something already. Have you ever seen me keep quiet like, ever?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"No, not really." (Jeong Hae-Min)

For sure, none present here had seen him behave like that.

"You can only talk to someone who's willing to listen, you know." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A lone teardrop trickled down from Yu Ji-Hyuk's eye.

"Why do you think I even resorted to running away?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

"Oh, my?" (Erukana)

Erukana looked at Yi Ji-Hyuk in surprise.

"Darling, you were running away??" (Erukana)

"………." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

When he remained sitting still and unable to say a thing, the end of her brow arched up greatly.

‘Is she getting angry?' (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon watched the duo, feeling like he should start getting popcorn ready just in case.

Wouldn't this situation lead to a Kdramlike scene somehow?

"Aigo, my darling, I didn't know you were under such a strain. I'll do better from now on. I'll be more hands-on when it comes to comforting my darling's troubles from here onwards." (Erukana)

"Sob…." (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon bore witness to Yi Ji-Hyuk's eyes producing more tears. Seeing that guy sob away in sorrow like that, even his own heart began aching, too.

Because, well, that guy wasn't that type of a person, to begin with…

"Wow, she doesn't want to listen." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

"It's no joke." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"Amazing." (Seo Ah-Young)

Even the trio could now understand why Yi Ji-Hyuk hadn't said anything much until now. This Erukana's white-hot passion was being focused in a strange direction in this case.

"It does seem like there is one solution to this, though." (Seo Ah-Young)

"A solution?" (Jeong Hae-Min)

Seo Ah-Young's words caused a bright expression to form on Jeong Hae-Min's face.

"Unni, you've been seeing a dang married man until now, so you should be tearing his hair out instead of smiling like that!" (Seo Ah-Young)

The former's harsh rebuke caused the latter to drop her head.

"W-well, even I'm to tear his hair out, we still need to resolve this situation first, right? And besides, they say they've been together for a thousand years that side." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"Okay. So?" (Seo Ah-Young)

"I mean, isn't it a lot better than seeing a thousand-year-old bachelor?" (Jeong Hae-Min)

"….Now that I hear you, that kind of sounds logical?" (Seo Ah-Young)

Now, this is really puzzling.

Although a married man is a bit icky, when you think about it, a bachelor going solo for over a thousand years is a seriously horrifying prospect, isn't it?

Isn't that the zenith of talentlessness at dating? (Seo Ah-Young's inner monologue)

For a moment there, Seo Ah-Young couldn't really figure out which one was worse.

"You could just see other people, you know?" (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon's easy-going reply caused Jeong Hae-Min's eyes to narrow into slits.

"I hope you understand that I'm not being this way because I don't know that." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"I'm sorry." (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

She shot him a sideways glare before asking Seo Ah-Young again.

"Okay, what's your solution?" (Jeong Hae-Min)

"She's a demon king, right?" (Seo Ah-Young)

"Ng." (Jeong Hae-Min)

"So, she doesn't know." (Seo Ah-Young)

"Doesn't know what?" (Jeong Hae-Min)

"In order to marry someone in Korea, one has to go through the ‘Si'-world first." (Seo Ah-Young) (TL note at the end)

"…….."

"A demon king is nothing much when compared to one's mother-in-law, you know?" (Seo Ah-Young)

No matter how scary a demon was, how terrifying a phantom was, or how horrifying a demon king was - they couldn't possibly be scarier than one's mother-in-law suddenly barging into your home unannounced.

Indeed, a human being was more terrifying than a ghost.

And when it came to Yi Ji-Hyuk's mother….

"We shall see." (Seo Ah-Young)

Seo Ah-Young suddenly formed a meaningful smirk.

"We shall see if a demon king is scarier than a mother-in-law." (Seo Ah-Young)

Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head.

"You know, like, that even confuses me a bit?" (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

< 269. If the demon king is scarier than mom (4) > Fin.

(TL: Choi Jeong-Hoon actually said, ‘Wait until saliva on your lips is dry!' which is a reference towards the old Korean idiom of ‘Lie to me after wetting your lips first'. It didn't seem to make much sense when TLed directly to English, so I went with soap instead. I watched a doccie about the movie Fight Club recently, you see.)

(TL: "Si"-world is a play on the Korean prefix, ‘si'. When this prefix is attached to the front of ‘mother/father', it denotes the husband's mother/father. Just like it is the case with many other cultures, your husband's mother-in-law can be a real nightmare for any prospective brides in Korea….)

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Chapter end