The Author's POV Chapter 392

They say that saying sorry was hard, but it was only now that I realized that asking for help was just as hard or perhaps even harder than apologizing.

"Pl…ease help me."

Uttering those words, it felt as though I used up all of the strength inside of my body.

I felt completely drained of energy.

Almost as though I had sprinted a full marathon. Uneasiness swept my body, and my heart beat faster.

Yet, despite feeling this way, the feeling I got after the initial lethargic sensation wasn't all too bad.

I felt this sense of relief wash over my body.

As though a heavy boulder had been lifted off of my shoulder, finally allowing me to stand up straight again. I couldn't quite explain it in words, but it just felt liberating.

"Haaa…"

I deeply exhaled.

"It's okay."

It was then that Kevin finally spoke.

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Taking a step forward, with his hand on my shoulder, he looked at the moon in the sky.

"I know that you've been through a lot over the past few years. I won't pretend to know just how much you've suffered, and that I even understand what you're going through, but…I want you to remember one thing."

Kevin paused. With his eyes still directed onto the moon in the distance, he continued.

"Hard as things may be, you're not alone. It may look like you are, but all you have to do is look around you."

Turning his head, Kevin looked at me before turning to look at the others who were also staring at me.

"…and when I say take a look, I mean take a proper look. See just who is around you, and see that there are people out there that actually care about you."

Closing my eyes, I lowered my head.

Guilt crept up inside of my heart.

I understood that they cared about me, but the problem was not them, it was me.

Ever since coming into this world, I've seen everyone as my pawn.

People who I could move as I pleased for the sake of my final goal, defeating the demon king. Be it Kevin, Douglas, Waylan, my mercenary group members, everyone was a piece in my eyes.

A piece that I could move as I pleased.

That was how it should've been, but…

Recalling the words that Kevin had just said, for the first time, I felt like maybe my mentality was wrong.

Maybe, I was looking at things in the wrong way…not just for my own goals, but for myself as well. Perhaps, without realizing it, the so-called pieces became more than pieces to me.

It made me wonder, 'were these 'pieces' really as expandable as I thought they were?'

Lifting my head, and staring at everyone present, my eyes soon paused on Kevin and I finally opened my mouth.

"…I think I understand somewhat, thank you."

'Thank you for making me understand my flaws.'

A smile appeared on Kevin's face as he removed his hand away from my shoulder.

Turning his back on me, he muttered.

"You know, I don't know when, but from the very first time I met you, I felt like there was this invisible wall that you erected on yourself. As though you wanted to get as far away from us as possible…it was quite odd, but I never questioned you. I feel like you're hiding something, but who doesn't? Everyone has got their own little secret that they can't tell the others. I get that, but…"

Swooosh—

Turning around, a soft wind brushed past Kevin as his clothes fluttered.

"…but it looks like whatever your secret is, it's eating away at you."

My brows jumped at his words.

Before I could say anything, Kevin raised his hands.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to tell us what your secret is. I'm just saying, if need help, we're here for you."

Opening my mouth, I tried to reply to his words, but I struggled to find the right words to reply with.

'This world is a novel world and I'm the author.'

There was no way I could tell them this.

Setting the fact that they would most probably not believe me, even if they did, I didn't want to make them feel like they were just some novel characters I wrote on a whim.

I didn't want to let them think that all they've gone through in the past were just things that I had done in order to design their characters.

There was no way I could tell them that and was never planning on telling them.

Some things were just better off being unsaid.

I smiled.

"I understand...thank you."

"You're doing it again."

Kevin's voice sounded once again.

Lifting my head, I was met with the sight of a frowning Kevin. Taken aback, I asked.

"Doing what?"

"You're hiding your true feelings again. That smile you just did easily proved my earlier points."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"…but well, I can tell that it's hard for you, so I won't say anything else. Just keep in mind the words that I previously said."

"Than—"

"Cough."

Just as I was about to thank Kevin for the nth time, I heard a faint cough come from behind me.

Instantly, my head snapped in the direction of where the cough came from and my eyes soon paused on Douglas who was standing not so far from where I was with a smile on his face.

I wasn't the only one who was startled as Jin, Amanda, Kevin, and Melissa all drew out their weapons and stared at Douglas with wariness.

"Calm down, I'm on your side."

Douglas chuckled at the sigh. Turning to face me, he alternated his gaze between me and Kevin before saying.

"Looks like you guys have sorted out your stuff. How about we head back?"

His clam voice echoed throughout the surroundings.

Lowering his head and turning his wrist, he added.

"Time is almost up. The elves will be mad if we stay here any longer."

"Ah! You're the old man from before!"

Kevin suddenly said from behind me. Surprise flashed across my face as I heard his words.

Alternating my gaze between Douglas and Kevin, I asked.

"Huh? You've already met?"

"Yeah, he's the one that told me your location."

"He what?"

This time it was my turn to look surprised as I turned to look in Douglas's direction. My eyes instantly squinted.

"Cough…I think I made the right call." Covering his face with his fist and pretending to cough, Douglas calmly smiled. "As you can see all's well that ends well. You may have lost yourself a bit, but I can tell that some of the burdens in your heart have been resolved."

Listening to Douglas's words, I secretly shook my head.

'So that's how it is…No wonder they were able to find me. It's because Douglas told them!'

Everything was starting to make sense.

I had been wondering why they suddenly showed up out of nowhere while I was taking care of Aaron.

The whole area around us should've been sealed, therefore, for them to come, it shouldn't have made any sense. I merely shrugged it off before since my mind was too preoccupied with other things, but when I think about it now, it should've been impossible for them to enter.

Staring at Douglas, it finally dawned on me.

I finally realized how they were able to enter this area.

"Where you also the ones that took Aaron?"

"Yes, we have."

Douglas nodded.

Nodding back, I stroked my chin before asking.

"…is he okay?"

"He should still be fine."

I sighed in relief at his words.

Fortunately, I had asked Waylan and Douglas to back me up in case things went wrong. Already taking into consideration the possibility of possibly losing myself, I had asked Douglas and Waylan to be present for this very reason.

So that I wouldn't do something I might end up regretting.

Had Aaron died, things would've been terrible for me and the others.

Not only that, it wouldn't have been enough to satiate the thirst for revenge that lingered inside of my mind.

Just dying wasn't enough for me to be satisfied. He needed to suffer more.

Once again checking his watch, Douglas's brows knit.

"Let's quickly head back. The ceremony is about to begin."

Before turning around, raising his hand and pointing it at me, he said.

"Fix your shirt before we go. You're a mess."

"…ah, right."

Lowering my head and seeing the current state my clothes were in, a wry smile appeared on my life.

"Let me fix it now."

Pulling my shirt down and tucking it inside of my pants, I slowly fixed up my buttons. Adjusting my shirt I caught a glimpse of the scar on my body.

'I'm glad they only saw these scars.'

I thought to myself, as I fixed my clothes.

Had they seen how I looked after I left the Monolith, I wondered just what types of faces they would've made.

Well, the only thing that was scarred back then was my face, not my body.

Body-wise, it was more about the burns as my body had been burned to a crisp.

'They do look pretty gruesome though.'

Looking back at the scars on my body, I could somehow sympathize with their reactions.

The current scars that were on my body were merely scars I got from my training over the last few months in Henlour.

This was when I was fighting in the wild against random beasts.

I wasn't perfect.

Despite my strength, there were times when my opponents were just too challenging and the scars just sort of accumulated. Since I didn't want to waste money on scar-removing potions or high-quality healing ones, I just kept them there.

Didn't really care about how my body looked.

In fact, there was still a huge scar on my shoulder from the time I wreaked havoc at the Inferno headquarters as well as from when I was fighting against the demons that were attacking the outer walls of Henolour.

"You ready?"

Once I was done fixing my clothes, Douglas's voice sounded from the distance.

Lifting my head and staring at everybody, with a smile on my face, my foot gently pressed onto the ground and I followed after them.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

'He's strong.'

Heading back to the hall, Jin stared at Ren's back.

As he did, it felt as though he was looking at an enormous mountain he couldn't see the peak of.

Recalling his previous fight with Ren, Jin could feel the difference between the two of them.

Not only was his rank higher than his, but the mastery of his sword art was even more refined than his.

It was clear for him to see that there was still a huge gap between the two of them. Perhaps, Ren was even stronger than Kevin, but he wasn't sure.

Neither side ever went all out against each other.

Clenching his fists, rather than being angry, excitement coursed through Jin's body.

He wasn't as close to Ren as Kevin was, but actually, deep inside, even though he never showed it, he was grateful for Ren.

Had it not been for him, he would've never realized his flaws.

Ever since the Hollberg incident, Jin had set Ren as his goal. To wash away the humiliation he suffered back then, he wanted to beat Ren, but...

He never had the confidence in beating him. Just recalling the events that lead up to his loss, Jin felt this inexplicable difference between him and Ren.

The same as what he was feeling now.

Even then, he never gave up and continued to set him as his goal.

And just when he felt that he was strong enough to challenge Ren again, he suddenly died and the goal that he had been striving for suddenly crashed right before his eyes.

With Ren no longer being there, and no goal in mind, although Jin trained just as much as before, his rate of progress slowly stagnated.

He had always regretted not fighting Ren.

It was probably his biggest regret.

And so, staring at his back from behind, the ambers inside of Jin's heart suddenly reignited and he clenched his fists tightly.

'Ren Dover'

He was the man that he was today because of him, and he was also the man that he was determined to beat.

Chapter end