Summoner Sovereign 291 Chapter 291: Marriage Troubles

"Grandfather-in-law," he greeted the professor humbly.

"I'm not your grandfather-in-law, you imbecile!" Professor Porter roared angrily. "Lilith has no interest in you at all! How many times must she tell you that, you stalking son of a bitch!? And I'm sure both my son and I had warned you that if you stalk little Lilith again, we'll smash your face in!"

"Well, that…" Xue Tu swallowed and looked around. Abruptly, he blinked and frowned. "Where's Lilith?"

"Why should I tell you?" Professor Porter snarled. "Get lost from here!"

"Not until I get to see Lilith!"

"Lilith isn't here. And even if she is, she doesn't want to see you." Professor Porter's lips thinned. "She's sick and tired of you stalking her. You even heard her tell you that directly so many times. Face it. She doesn't like you. Stop bothering her!"

"Lies!" Xue Tu shouted. "Lilith and I love each other! There's no way she'll hate me! I know! You and her father are forcing her to keep me away because you don't want her to marry me! I'll show you! Our love will prevail!"

Porter buried his wrinkled face into his palm and sighed wearily. I understood how he felt. Even I was beginning to get irritated at Xue Tu's delusional insistence that Lilith was in love with him. Normally, I would give him the benefit of the doubt and personally ask Lilith if that was true, but I knew Professor Porter and Uncle Glen well enough to be confident that they wouldn't interfere in Lilith's love life. Plus the guy was seriously unhinged, and his attempt to tear apart the barrier with a horde of Bog Ghouls wasn't helping him argue his case.

As if he had read my mind, Xue Tu turned on me, his eyes wild and his expression frantic. He was practically frothing at the mouth as he jabbed his finger at me.

"It's you! It's your fault that Lilith no longer loves me as she once did! You stole my woman away from me! I'll kill you!"

"Lilith never loved you in the first place, you delusional freak!" Principal Porter shouted in exasperation. "And Richard has nothing to do with this! He isn't even that close to my granddaughter! Don't drag uninvolved people into this mess!"

"Lies!" Xue Tu howled. Yup, I knew it. Everything was just this guy's one-sided delusion. He refused to listen to reason and insisted in believing whatever distorted imagination his warped mind conjured up. "There's no other reason why she would hate me! It must be because she found another man!"

"Assuming you're right, why are you thinking that I'm somehow that guy?" I asked dryly, unsure if I should feel sorry for this nutcase. He really ought to be locked up in a padded cell so that he wouldn't harm anybody. At the very least he needed psychiatric help and some counseling.

"B…because you are the protagonist! It is inevitable! In all web novels about a main male character, all the beautiful female characters must inevitably fall in love with him and be added to his harem! It's an ironclad rule for all web novels! And me being the antagonist, I must find some excuse to attack you! Like how in every cultivation or xianxia novel, the arrogant young master or antagonist will contrive a poorly made up excuse to provoke the protagonist into beating him up! Whether it's calling him trash for no reason and bullying him so that the protagonist has a chance to slap their faces, or getting all jealous over the harem of girls fawning over the protagonist and trying to steal one of his heroines so that the main character will be justified in kicking his sorry ass!"

I scowled. "Look, even if you want to break the fourth wall, you can't be so blatant or people won't find it funny."

"Fu fu fu…" Behind me, Anastasia was giggling in a terrifying manner, and her eyes had gone all dark for some reason. "Rest assured, Richard will never have a harem. I will guarantee that. I will never allow that kind of bullshit to exist…even if I have to personally dirty my hands and eliminate each and every one of my potential love rivals…ahem, I mean, even if I have to find a way to help Richard keep his distance from other women."

Why was she fiddling with her poisonous daggers in such a frightening manner while giggling ominously? And why was I feeling some preternatural chill running down my spine, in addition to an inexplicably growing worry for Lilith and the other girls I occasionally hung out with?

Damn it, did I get myself involved with a yandere? I mean, she was an ex-Assassin, but still…

"What is this, some kind of romantic comedy?" one of the Silver Wolves mercenaries demanded, partially perturbed and partially irritated.

"I don't know. Seems like Miss Anastasia is a yandere. Will we see a boat scene at the end of this story?"

Hell, no! I would prefer my head still stuck to my neck and shoulders, and not being hugged by Anastasia as she sailed away to the far ends of the ocean.

"I was just joking, of course." Anastasia put her daggers away. "I have left behind all the killing when I quit being an Assassin and turned my back on the guild."

"Uh…" One of the soldiers tried not to gulp. "Miss Anastasia, you haven't actually left behind all the killing, you know? That's still one of our main jobs as a mercenary."

"Huh…you're probably right. Oh well, a serpent never changes its scales."

"Actually, they do. Snakes molt and shed their old skin."

"You know what I mean! I mean a leopard never changes its spots! I chose serpents because they are poisonous and I specialize in using toxins!"

"Ahem…" one of the soldiers – probably a sergeant, given his chevrons – cleared his throat. "So what do we do now?"

The Bog Ghouls had been exterminated, and all the soldiers awaited with their rifles pointed at Xue Tu. White Tiger and Leo were on standby, prowling the area as they eyed the blood mage cautiously. Only Principal Porter's presence kept them from opening fire.

Anastasia turned to Principal Porter. "Principal Porter, do you mind if we apprehend this fella? He poses a threat to the security of the site…"

The old man took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. Shaking his head, he grimaced. "I don't want to resort to something as drastic as killing him, but I'm not sure capturing him would be a good idea either. He's a very dangerous man, and I honestly don't want him anywhere inside the tomb."

That was a good point. The bugger was capable of summoning Bog Ghouls in the swamp. Being inside a tomb would strengthen his abilities further, like how a water mage would be several times stronger when fighting on water such as atop a lake, sea or ocean, or a fire mage's flaming spells would be amplified by the power of a volcano. Or a wind mage's spells would be enhanced when there was a hurricane or storm. Needless to say, a lightning mage's magic would be boosted by electricity from a power plant, and a wood mage would have an overwhelming advantage inside a forest.

Terrain and environment had a significant impact on a mage's abilities and strength. That was why nobody bothered with the bullshit that was power levels or realms or ranks. Even the monster rankings were done according to size and the kind of impact they would have when attacking humans, but it didn't mean rank B monsters were inferior or always lost to rank A monsters. Like earlier, a swarm of rank F Spirit Devouring Bees could probably eat a rank B or C monster within seconds, leaving nothing but bones behind.

In any event, a tomb would essentially become home ground for a necromancer capable of summoning Bog Ghouls. Maybe we might actually see some zombies! Who knows?

"Anyway, little Lilith isn't here. She's in Vermillion City. So quit bothering us and go away." Principal Porter folded his arms and glared at Xue Tu before flicking his head in a "shoo! Go away!" movement.

The fuck? Was he seriously sacrificing his granddaughter just so this creepy stalker wouldn't bother his excavation of a tomb?

However, Xue Tu hesitated. He then began to voice his protest.

"B…but if I leave now, then how is Richard going to justify fighting and killing me?!"

"Why the fuck would you want to get killed by me?!" I yelled, perplexed. "Just leave! Get out of here! Quit bothering us!"

"Then…the fight scene…"

"WHO CARES ABOUT SOME RANDOM FIGHT SCENE WITH SOME RANDOM CHARACTER WHO APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE?!"

"But I'm not some random character who appeared out of nowhere!" Xue Tu produced a messy holographic screen and began waving it at us. "See, I'm inside the author's notes. He conceived of me to serve as some sort of love rival when he began planning for your meeting with Lilith."

"What love rival?! There were never any plans to make her a love interest to begin with!" I was burying my face in my palm so hard I could feel my glasses pressing painfully into my skin.

"That's true," Xue Tu admitted grudgingly. "But he wanted to do a rip-off of a villain from The Great Ruler. Considering that Lilith is pretty much the counterpart of Luo Li from there, and there was that entire weirdly written and contrived arc about me being in love with her and chasing after her in the anime adaptation even though that never happened in the original novel or the web comic version. Just to introduce drama and give Mu Chen an excuse to fight and kill me…"

His chest exploded in a shower of blood and he pitched backward, gargling. I lowered my smoking rifle and shook my head.

"Sorry. I couldn't control myself. He was pissing me off too much." I glanced at the fizzling barrier and the heap of dead Bog Ghouls outside. "But it's justified, right? He threw an entire horde of monsters at us."

"I have no complaints," Principal Porter confessed, recovering from his shock. "I honestly prefer to settle this without violence, but what has been done is done. There's no use crying over it. Moreover, if I may be honest, I'm relieved that he's gone. He has been bothering and stalking my dear granddaughter for far too long."

"I would have shot him myself if you hadn't," another of the Silver Wolves mercenaries mumbled. "He was getting annoying."

Not as annoying as me, I bet, but…

"Ku ku ku…now you've done it."

Xue Tu was rising to his feet. I watched, stunned, as the cauterized wound on his chest began to mend and heal. In seconds, there was no sign of the fatal injury at all. Instead, blood began flowing around him and turning into countless appendages, making him resemble some creepy crimson arachnid of gigantic proportions.

"Open fire!" Anastasia shouted, and the mercenaries complied immediately, blasting Xue Tu with a volley of ruby las-fire. Several of the appendages snaked forward and morphed, transforming into a shield that absorbed the deadly mana projectiles.

"Sir, you should get back inside the barrier," one of the soldiers told Principal Porter. He was among those assigned by Brent to safely escort the old guy here. Principal Porter didn't argue, and he and his entourage hastily returned through the barrier and ran toward the inner sections of the tomb, presumably to seek shelter. As they did so, the soldiers continued to provide cover fire, peppering the enormous blood stuff that Xue Tu had conjured with shots.

"Oh no, you don't! You're not getting away from me until you agree to let your granddaughter marry me, Grandfather-in-law!"

"Dream on!" Principal Porter retorted. "And I already told you not to call me that!"

Xue Tu let out a disturbing peal of hysterical laughter. Using several of the blood appendages as giant legs, he bent them before propelling him upward in a jump. Clearing the entire distance in a single bound, he pounced on the fleeing Principal Porter. The clan head's escorts spun around and fired ineffectually with their magic rifles, but the mana bullets dissipated harmlessly against Xue Tu's defense.

He never reached Principal Porter.

"!!"

White lightning seared through the air in the space between them, forcing Xue Tu to alter his trajectory and veer away. While he landed, a brilliant pillar of golden light struck him. Leo's Regulus disintegrated a good section of his blood appendages and left parts of his body smoldering.

"You…!"

Xue Tu turned to snarl at me. I was approaching him, my Constellation spirits in tow. Folding my arms, I glowered at him.

"If you want to grab Principal Porter, you'll have to get through me first."

"With pleasure!" Xue Tu began laughing crazily again. A blood-red miasma began to shroud the entire area.

"!!!"

The ground was rumbling. I realized that Xue Tu, in his jump earlier, had torn through the barrier and was now inside the tomb. All around me, desiccated and rotting hands burst out of the soil as zombies began to dig their way out of the ground.

Cold perspiration dripped down my face and back, even as I smiled grimly. Shaking my head, I sighed.

"Looks like you'll be getting the fight scene that you wanted after all."

Chapter end