Stranger's Handbook
/ Stranger's Handbook Chapter 141
“It’s here, your excellency. At first sight, it looks like a normal civilian house, but this is the entrance to our paradise.”
“It doesn’t have a signboard……Will this be all right?”
Guided by Albert, we arrived at this shop.
In truth, the building really looked like nothing but a civilian house…….This made my danger senses ring like mad!
“Your excellency, did I ever take you to a weird shop? Unfortunate accidents did happen, but I have never done something so dishonorable!”
“You……Those two times, are you trying to call those unfortunate accidents?”
The mongrel quickly averted his eyes and nocked at the door to the shop (?).
You rascal……You deceived me.
A grim middle-aged man showed up from inside.
“Aaan? What are nobles doing to such a place…….Master Albert! You came again?”
“Yes, this job must be difficult for you, mister bodyguard. Today, I brought my master here as well. Quickly, show us inside.”
Bodyguard, huh…….So this is a place that needs someone like this bandit-looking middle-aged man……
Moreover, with no signboard, it’s like this place does business secretly.
This is already the maximum level of danger.
“You came in such a large number…….Let’s get you inside right away, he he he.”
His smile looked like that of a bandit boss who aimed at his pray. The bodyguard opened the door slowly.
Instead of a drinking party, won’t this become a battlefield, I wonder?
As I felt a considerable level of anxiety, we entered that place……the place that the mongrel called an utopia……
“…….Albert.”
“Yes sir! What is it, your excellency?”
“This place is amazing.”
“Thank you for your words!”
The only moment I felt anxious about all this was in the beginning.
Inside the shop, there was another door, and once you opened that, the earthly paradise would spread in front of your eyes.
There was an army of beautiful women and the customer service was perfect.
The sake was delicious as well! This was truly a wonderful place; I had nothing to complain about.
“Is this place entirely reserved for us today?”
“Yes, the people here were very generous. What should we do then?”
This ‘What should we do?’ was asked because, since we were nobles, other people were not allowed to enter the shop for the moment…..It means more like ‘Shall we order as much as we can?’
“Show them consideration. Tell the girls that they can drink and eat as much as they want. Aah, give them some souvenirs as well, all right?”
“As you wish!”
From the table we sat at, Albert lowered his head and left.
We were drinking, only the two of us.
…….I wanted to drink with the girls, but just the other day I drank as much as to feel reluctant now.
“Mistress, let the girls order whatever they want for today. We will pay for everything. I’ll give you something now…….If it’s not enough, I’ll pay you more later.”
“So many gold coins for an adva
nce payment!? Ah, thank you very much!”
In Japan, you usually pay at the end, but in this world, offering an advance payment is common sense.
But when it comes to nobles, they usually pay at the end.
Demanding an advance payment to a noble would be the same as suspecting them, like ‘Hey you, can you even pay for this?’…
Since we rented the whole place, if we don’t pay, this shop would suffer a great deficit.
That’s why I wanted to do at least this much.
“And then, this here is not the fare, but our feelings. Divide it among you.”
“It is gladly accepted. Everyone! These are customers who already gave us gifts and payed us in advance, you know! Feel relieved and make merry!”
“Gifts!? No way, A-chan, you really were a noble?”
“When nobles come here this is what happens……I didn’t know that……”
“Did you know, they’ll give us souvenirs when they leave?”
“Eeh!? Won’t they come every day, I wonder……”
Shouts of joy rose up and the party got even more exciting.
At least for today, I wanted to thank the black knights for their service and let them have a great time.
Albert returned, and we both took a mouthful of sake…..Fufu, for some reason, I missed this.
A little while ago, I used to go out with these guys and make merry in bars.
Thinking about those days, I really enjoyed my time here.
“Oh, oh, this sure is looking good. Let us join you.”
A sturdy man showed up to our fun party.
Looking at his garments and expression, he was nothing but a hooligan.
…….What happened to the bodyguard?
“Hey, you guys! The whole place is reserved for today! What is the bodyguard doing?”
The mistress’ voice could be heard; she was the woman who a few moments ago received the payment from Albert.
She was a sexy woman, who seemed to be in her 30s, and because she showed a strong-willed expression, it did have a certain impact.
Still, those guys laughed as they continued.
“Bodyguard? You’re talking about that weakling? Gahahahahaha, he was so damn useless.”
“He was a small fry who got silenced by only one punch from our aniki.”
“Ooh, it looks like they’re drinking some really expensive sake.”
With a giant man, two meters high, in the front, these three guys selfishly sat on a table and started to drink.
Because Albert showed a murderous expression, I stopped him from going to them with a gesture.
For the black knights, these guys will be nothing but an exercise to help digestion.
“You guys, it’s about time your stomachs swelled out, right? Go do some exercise. Leave no proof so that we won’t cause trouble for this shop.”
“Yes, sir! Leave it to us.”
“Still, they sure look weak.”
“Hyahaa! Exercise, exercise!”
The black knights stood up, faces covered in smiles.
Good. It’s great that they’re so into this.
“Ah, urm…..Zest-sama. Is this going to be all right? These guys defeated that bodyguard of ours…….”
“Aah, it’s all right. If he was defeated by those guys…….”
The mistress looked worried, and as I was about to answer her, a weird sound resounded.
I turned around and the giant man pressed down hard on his right arm, which took a wrongturn towards the direction of the day after tomorrow.
……..Don’t do it inside the shop, can’t you have a little patience?
“I don’t care whether you break or slice their arms off, but do it outside.”
“Yes, sir! Forgive us.”
“Still, this guy sure is fragile……..”
“Aaaah, you already broke him? I’ll take the other two, all right!?”
“Gyaaaaaaa, uu, my arm……my arm!”
“A-aniki! Are you all right?”
“You! We are part of a famous bandit group……”
The trio of idiots glared towards me with a threatening look.
Hm? They’re not thugs, but bandits?…….In this case, we have to deal with them differently.
“Albert, the situation changed. If they’re a bandit group, make them speak and go kill their comrades. We have no reason to keep them alive.”
“Leave it to me. On this occasion, the maids……..I mean, the holy maidens unit will benefit from this. They’ll be very happy when they hear about the bandits’ extermination training.”
Albert stood up and, as he waved his tail happily, he took the trio of idiots with him and left.
If they’re really a famous bandits group, we might be able to use this for growing prince Mars’ reputation.
“And so, you didn’t need to worry, now, did you? Calm down and let’s continue drinking.”
“Sigh……Urm, are all the nobles from the empire this strong?”
I looked at the amazed mistress, and, laughing, I continued to drink my sake.
“Your excellency, just to be sure, I sent a black knight to keep watch together with the bodyguard.”
“Because of a supposed revenge from the bandits group? I don’t think that will happen, but all right.”
Albert returned with a refreshed expression, and informed me.
It’s true that we can feel more at ease on one’s guard.
I thought that they were bluffing, but those idiots really were bandits.
“It’s a small bandits’ group with about thirty people. This won’t even count as exercise for the war maidens.”
“But still, if those girls feel they’ve been left out, they’ll be quite scary afterwards……So, leave those guys to the war maidens.”
“Smart and strong…….He’s certainly a noble…….”
“Lovely……Even his ‘I’m a dog kemonobito, but I’m herbivorous’ is lovely.”
“For an elf as myself, that is incomprehensible…..”
“That tail, I’d like to groom it……”
Smart? Just who in the world are they talking about….
For some reason, A-chan was very popular.
The black knights too got pampered by the girls, saying something like ‘Strong knight-sama! You’re lovely!!’….they all fopped.
Maybe it’s time I organize a formal marriage mass meeting for them…..I was too busy so I kind of neglected this……
I contemplated the fact that my subordinates’ marriageable age got a little overdue, when I heard again load voices coming from the outside.
Good grief…..But, since there’s a black knight there, they can’t breakthrough.
I thought and drank up my glass of sake, when the door slapped open with a wonderful booming sound.
“Your excellency! For someone like an archduke, throwing a party at a town bar is outrageous!”
The one who showed up dragging along the black knight like he was nothing but trash, was Media.
…….You already came?…….That was fast.
“Don’t get mad, Media. Relaxing once in a while is beneficial.”
“No, your excellency. There is something called a standpoint. Drinking with such women at such an outskirts bar is just…….”
“With such women? This surely is a rundown district……but still, I am very confident in our customer service!”
Normally, the mistress would never talk against a noble, but today she drank a little too much.
Since she was drunk, her real personality surfaced.
“What? You, nothing but a commoner talking to a noble……Hm?”
“Haaan! Listen, young girl. Even though you’re a noble-sama…….Oh my?”
Media and the mistress got closer and stared at each other……Or so it appeared.
Both of them stared fixedly at each other and, when they looked up and made eye contact, they embraced each other.
……What? They like each other even though they’re women?
“My friend……I never thought I would meet a friend in such a place.”
“Yeah, I’m thankful to the gods for making this possible. My friend.”
“Albert, go eat your teeth!”
“……..Yes sir?”
The two women wept as they embraced each other, but, before long, they separated and looked towards me.
Yeah, I am ready…… Thank you for giving me the time.
“Your excellency, you searched for my dear comrade and found this bar……I’ll follow you a lifetime!!”
“You have my dear friend as one of your followers……Please take us too as your subordinates, your excellency! We’ll be very helpful!!”
The two of them looked at me, their faces flushed…….Yes…….’Friend and comrade’
You’re both okamas 1, huh?……
“Albert, do you have a last request?”
“Yes sir! Because of their smell I thought they were women……Oh dear me, since the elves’ perfumes are too excellent, I …..buhoooaa!!!”
And so, the okama troops and girls-dressed-up-as-men unit from the country of elves migrated to the archduke’s dominion.
Later, because of this, a great pleasure quartier was built on my dominion, and my capital city became the empire’s greatest metropolis……
At this time, however, I felt nothing but extremely sad for knowing that more perverts came under my command…….
I want ‘normal’ subordinates and citizens…….
Chapter end
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