Phenomeno
/ Phenomeno Volume 1 Chapter 9-12
When I went back to my apartment, Yoishi was no longer there.
She'd noticed the key I'd placed on the table, as she'd locked it and placed the key in the post.
When I entered the foyer, I placed the coarse salt I'd received from Krishna at the edge of the door, and took a deep breath. I told myself that I would go see Krishna again tomorrow and talk to her about having taken the notebook.
When I went to the living room, I found that my blankets had been folded. She may be well-raised after all, I thought, and then I also worried about her constant outings.
Where did she live, anyways? What high school year was she, was she a part of any clubs, what subjects was she good at? What were her hobbies, did she have any pets, what books did she like?
I know nothing about Yoishi.
I didn't know where she lived, her phone number, even her mail address.
Even if I wanted to contact her, I'd have to make a post on the "Ikaigabuchi" forum. We were that unrelated, yet between us, we'd been through problems involving life and death between this shore and that shore. It was like a castle tower date right off the bat.
"Well, I'm probably thinking of dumb examples because I'm tired..."
I resolved to sleep.
My body felt as heavy as lead.
It was still just a bit past seven, but I changed out of my clothes from yesterday and washed my face. I brushed my teeth, and feeling a bit refreshed, I lay down on the blanket. I then jumped up immediately. No, it wasn't that I'd been mesmerized by a flowery scent of a high school girl.
-- The pillow reeked.
An extremely sour scent was soaked into the pillow. That was pretty harsh considering I just wanted to sleep. That bastard, the next time I see her I'm going to force her to take a bath. I lay back down after rolling up a blanket to serve as a makeshift pillow, but the odor was so strong that I couldn't sleep.
Since sleep was out of the question, I remained lying down and looked up the Hachiouji abandoned hospital online. I'd taken a look on my computer before, but hadn't checked using my phone. And the results blew me away. Even on a cell-phone-specific search site, or perhaps because it was because of being a cell-phone-specific search, I found an absurd number of hits.
"That place is actually pretty famous."
I began opening pages from the top.
For the most part, they were community forums, or some region-specific occult sites. But I found a single common thread between them all.
The phrase that it was "a hospital that grants wishes."
I'd heard that phrase somewhere, I thought, and realized it's what had been tossing me about just a while ago. Fool, there are no shortcuts for granting wishes. I mumbled to myself the words Krishna had left me, and grinned as I looked at the posts. I felt like I was looking at cute underlings--
"My height grew!" "I got a girlfriend!" "My hernia got better" "I got a job" "I won a lottery!"
Every forum had those types of posts.
"Hey, hey, are you serious?"
I'd stood up and kept reading.
It seemed those words written on the notebook and the wall -- "Please fix my sickness" "I'll do whatever you ask if you fix me" had caused such rumors to spread. There was even a wiki with information, so I took a look.
* There's a resources room in the basement of the abandoned hospital * There's writing on the wall saying "I'll do whatever you ask if you fix me" * Say "〇〇〇〇 will fix you" three times at the wall, using your real name * Say your wish, "In return, give me △△" * Afterwards, return something in the hospital back to its original position * Say to the wall again, "〇〇〇〇 fixed it" * Your wish gets grantedWas how it was summarized.
"Pathetic."
I groaned.
And as I read other related sites, I slowly became depressed.
I found someone screwing around inside that hospital. Someone burning medical records. Someone peeing next to that, and another making a peace sign with a beer can.
"I see. No wonder Krishna would be enraged."
She always said.
-- Recently, Japanese people have been rapidly losing their sense of ethics.
Traditionally, the Japanese were a race that paid the unseen quite a lot of respect. That probably lead to Shinto, and in any case, Japan had a lot of gods. As with the phrase "if you die, you become a saint," no matter how much you may hate it, there are lots of festivals for gods during life. For contemporary people like us, our devotion to such festivals may have thinned, but I didn't dislike the Japanese way of respecting the unseen. Of course, at my rural place, we believed in the mountain god quite fervently, and so it may just have been more normal for us to believe in the sun god and such.
And then I looked at the bag I'd left near the living room door.
I crawled over and took out the notebook. It was the journal filled to the brim with the clean writing of the eight year old who had departed from this world. I opened the yellowed, worn pages and read it from the start.
The boy had apparently first come to the hospital for a check-up. He was eager to go back home. But his stay lasted longer, he underwent more examinations, and his words lost their energy. After that, he began writing mostly about what he'd do when he left. Ride a bike. Play soccer with friends. Go out with his family. Go fishing for crayfish. Play video games. Run hard. He began wanting things that children normally do. When I got to the half-way mark of the notebook, he began just wanting to go home. He wrote that the examinations were tough. He wrote often about his seizures. I held my breath at the heavy expressions used by this patient.
And then I realized.
Why I'd clutched at the notebook in the darkness.
And why I brought the notebook out and never let it leave my side.
I couldn't stand it. That this boy who had died young would be left in that dark room.
He was -- me.
I had infant asthma when I was child.
It went away as I grew up, but at the time I panicked just from the onset of symptoms. It felt like air was being sucked away from my surroundings, that I'd been smashed into a bottomless, deep ocean alone, as I was beset by a severe inability to breathe. That blinding despair -- it still remained soaked into me. When I was sleeping and felt an onset, I'd run crying to my parents. And when that happened, I found one thing more comforting than any doctor or medicine -- my mother's palm. That warm palm petting my back gave me a mysterious sense of comfort, and my seizure would stop.
I dropped my hand on the last page of the notebook.
"Please fix my sickness."
I had a mother, but I wondered if this boy had someone to ward off the suffering.
Did he have a safe place to run to?
That was probably the reason why I brought this notebook with me.
Suffering until death and continuing to suffer in a haunted spot, I couldn't forgive that.
However, I sighed.
I still didn't know what to do with this notebook. If I were to take care of it to the end, it would probably be best to wipe away the letters on the wall, but I didn't have the courage to return.
"Sheesh... I'm such a worthless wuss."
I scratched my head. And then.
Suddenly, my cell phone vibrated.
I jumped a bit and answered without checking who the caller was.
"Yo! Little Nagi!"
The bright, carefree voice echoing from the receiver froze me.
"It's me, me. How ya doin'?"
"H... Hi, sis."
-- Yes.
It was Yamada Akira, genetically my bigger sister.
"Whaddaya mean, 'hi, sis'? I toldja to lemme know when you're coming home for summer."
Incidentally, my big sis was a bit of a gangster back in the day, so she still talks like that.
"Ahh, sorry, um, about going home. Umm, how about around the [Bon festival]? Like, around July."
"Hey."
Her voice dropped an octave across the phone line, and I shivered.
"Said tell me an exact date. I work, y'know, I need ta ask for paid leave. Yessir?"
Akira, four years older than me, graduated with a two-year degree at a university near our home in Shizuoka and worked at a company near home. I'd never won against her in a verbal spat, and I don't think I could win against her in a physical brawl either. I'd also become indebted to her because of the previous incident. Basically, I was in the worst position in terms of leverage.
"Mum and dad are waiting for their useless son, and you're all grown up now. Learn to pay your elders respect."
"... I know."
"Hmm? What's with that crappy answer?"
"I'm sorry. I understand."
"So, when? Around July?"
"Umm. They should post the exam dates next week, so I'll call you immediately after that."
"Mm. Next week. If y'don't call me by next weekend I'ma beat you."
"Yes."
"Ahh, also."
"Yes?"
"The bonfire this year, we're takin' care'a it. Get home before Bon festival."
And she hung up. I stared at the time displayed on the cell phone LCD reading 1 minute 37 seconds and sighed.
My sister Akira, who changed the atmosphere of the room in a mere 1 minute 37 seconds -- terrifying.
I looked up at the ceiling again.
-- I had my hands full. I was carelessly sticking my hands into lots of things and then leaving them be once I'd gotten in over my head. I'd try living at a cheap place and run away, becoming indebted to my sister in the process, and it wasn't even like I was paying much attention in school, nor was I intending to spend my life studying the occult like Krishna. And now I didn't even know what to do with a notebook I'd taken from a haunted spot.
Briefly, I thought of Yoishi's white, sullen face.
She was incredibly beautiful, but her emotionless, machine-line face was like that of a doll.
There was no way I'd be able to handle her.
I rolled over and fell asleep at some point.
I was in a white, foggy place.
There, Yoishi was laughing, an expression I'd never seen before.
-- Hey, you can laugh, after all.
I said, but she didn't seem to hear. Not noticing me, she happily mucked about. She was playing about with something that was slithering about below. I thought it might have been a dog or something, but when I looked toward her feet, I was aghast. There was a snake.
Or -- could I call it a snake, as only its torso was incredibly long. At the end of the torso was a face. And, it looked like Yoishi. Yoishi's normal, melancholic, darkened face was stuck there. And then human Yoishi just kept kicking it, laughing to her heart's content. And both of them said at once. Why. Why -- it shouldn't feel good kicking a person. I said, but the human Yoishi just laughed. The snake Yoishi went silent, as if saying pathetic. It's alright, this child is a bad child. So said human Yoishi as she resumed kicking. It's alright, I'm bad. The snake Yoishi said that and continued suffering while being kicked. I kept shouting and shouting to stop. But the more I shouted, the more they invested themselves in kicking and being kicked.
Eventually, snake Yoishi's stomach was kicked open, and reddish-black blood began seeping out--
I opened my eyes.
... What sort of dream am I watching?
The room's light remained on. I looked at the cell phone for the time in a daze, and it said 1AM. I'd been sleeping for just about six hours. My throat felt thirsty, so I stood up and was about to get some water from the kitchen.
I heard a bizarre sound from the apartment hall. Something that sounded like dragging. Was it my neighbor? I thought of leaving it be, but eventually that something went thud and bumped into something. And then silence.
"...Now what?"
I fearfully crept to the door, looked through the peeping hole, and was shocked.
There was a revenant.
No--
Mitsurugi Yoishi, who looked like a revenant, was standing there in her school uniform.
"H... hey, what're you doing?"
I asked through the door, but she didn't respond.
I had no choice but to unlock the door, and open the door, and there was Yoishi wobbling in place.
"I'm asking what you're doing there."
When I said that again, Yoishi seemed to have finally recognized me. Her glass bead-like eyes turned to me, and she mumbled, "Oh, you."
"What do you mean 'oh, you.' Don't act like you've coincidentally met me when you're standing in front of my house. Since when were you th-"
-ere I was about to finish, and then I realized.
Yoishi was drenched from the top of her head down. Her drenched blouse became transparent and I could see her undergarments, which made me want to turn away, but I could see brown water dripping from her skirt.
And -- putrid. It was the most putrid she'd ever been.
"Were you cleaning mud or something?"
I asked, pinching my nose.
"I have never done such work."
She answered with a serious look. Good god, it was impossible to have a conversation with her. In any case, shouting at each other in the hallway this late at night would bother others, so I let her in. And when I closed the door her odor was even more painful. I immediately decided that there was nothing I could do about the contamination of the hallway. But henceforth, I needed to protect this. I decided to eliminate the rotting odor before it reached the living room.
Come, I grabbed her sleeve, and then dragged her into the unit bath. On the way, her hair, her uniforms dripped brown droplets and I rolled my eyes.
"I'll find a jersey or something so take a bath."
I said and pushed her in and shut the door.
I heard "I hate baths" from inside, but.
"I don't care, get in. Wash your body at least three times."
I shouted, and then I started going through the cardboard boxes I'd left unopened since moving in.
Even if it were the cusp of summer, she'd catch a cold like that. And the biggest problem was this sewer stench. I'd just moved into an apartment with new wallpaper, so this was too much. From the back of a cardboard box, I found a pair of jersey clothes that had been sent from home, and went back to the bathroom. But I knew the moment I went closer. The sharp odor wafted in the air, and the bath door was open.
"I said wash-"
"I figured out the identity of that abandoned hospital."
Said Yoishi, whose eyes were tired but twinkling.
-- Ah, why.
I'd forced Yoishi to sit in front of the bath tub in the unit bath, and was washing her hair with a shower. I'd been spraying her with hot water for some time, but the brown water kept leaking out like a sewage drain.
It seemed Yoishi had gone back to that hospital alone. She'd returned the moment she woke up at noon, but after doing some investigation it took her until six to leave, and everything was dark by then. Her penlight battery had died, and after wandering the night mountain for a bit she fell into the river.
"Use a taxi or something."
I said, and she fell silent.
"... Don't tell me, they turned you down?"
... I guess it couldn't be helped with her this drenched.
Probably, she'd walked to the train station like this, and ignored all the shocked looks as she came here. I sighed, imagining Yoishi sitting soaked, with her immediate vicinity vacated.
"Alright, Yoishi."
I said as I kept spraying her hair with hot water, as a senior.
"In this world, taking care of your looks is important. They say people aren't what they look like, but the first impression is quite important. You can get a good start just from that. So at the very least, take a bath every day. If you're going to someone's house, go at a normal hour. I'll tell you now because you look like you don't care about the time, but it's 1:30AM. Normal people are asleep."
But Yoishi wasn't listening.
She'd clasped her long eyelashes together and looked like she was comfortable staring somewhere else.
This was starting to become silly, but the brown water had finally returned to being clear, so I put shampoo all over her head and forcefully rubbed. Bubbles rose, and the unit bath was filled with the scent of shampoo.
"So what'd you find out about that hospital?"
When I asked that, Yoishi answered, eyes still shut.
"I have nothing to do with the incident that happened there."
"You mean -- about Zippo's friend?"
Yoishi nodded slightly.
"Then, what about you disappearing?"
"I don't want to talk about that."
... don't want to talk about that?
Then why'd you come here?
I thought, as I kept washing her hair.
"There's a ghost online."
She said, words that made no sense.
"Have you read self-responsibility-type horror stories?"
"You mean those ones that say 'it's your own responsibility if you read past this'?"
Those were famous online, horror stories that were said to curse you just by reading them. There were several patterns, like becoming possessed by knowing the story, or being possessed if you understood it, those types. But I didn't really believe them."
"Those are make-believe, right?"
I said, but she began explaining, "not all of them."
"Ghosts are very sensitive to things that notice them."
The way she said it gave me goosebumps.
"If you talk about ghosts, ghosts gather. If they know you can see, they come. All of those stories involve that concept. I said amusing stories always have some sort of oddity to them -- but that's why. If something says the truth about ghosts, they begin having strange wordings. After all, they depict the truth of the other side, that humans can't understand. That's why when a story has some incompleteness, it's actually complete."
She always spoke at length whenever it came to ghost stories.
"I don't get it, but --"
I asked anyways.
"What do self-responsibility-type horror stories have to do with that abandoned hospital?"
"It's the same type, when it comes to being possessed once you know the truth."
At those words, my goosebumps crept from my neck to the bottom of my feet.
In other words, she wanted to say that I shouldn't ask anymore. Krishna always said, if you peer into the other side, they would also see you. They were saying the same thing, but they had different effects.
"Basically,"
Yoishi added.
"The person who became hospitalized had nothing to do with me. I'm fine with just figuring that out."
She closed her eyes again and went silent.
After that, she wouldn't answer me anymore.
... So to summarize.
She felt some level of responsibility for what had happened in the past. That someone who'd gone to the horror spot with her had become hospitalized. And that she knew the place was dangerous. Even if she couldn't stop them, she wanted to know the answer, and had visited the hospital and learned enough to satisfy herself.
I didn't understand the identity of the hospital, but, for better or for worse, I was busy. I was enjoying washing Yoishi's hair as the shampoo bubbled like a summer cumulonimbus cloud.
No shame in admitting it, I enjoyed cleaning. I enjoyed the feeling of watching something dirty becoming clean. People around me said I was weird, but I liked cleaning ventilators, which are considered tough to clean. Using a toothbrush to remove the oil stains: I felt a lot of excitement whenever I could see the original metal. Look, this thing is actually this pretty, that sort of feeling. I didn't really get it, but like the last scene of the ugly duckling: when the duckling is actually a swan, I like that sort of thing. The old European story, about bear hide, and such. In that sense, Yoishi's dirty, dirty head was a fun challenge to me.
In the end, I ended up shampooing her hair three times. Afterwards, I rinsed it too, and almost felt regretful that my house had no treatment, because Yoishi's hair had become so polished and smooth. I placed a tower on her head and wiped.
"See, look. If you clean it properly, it becomes this pretty."
I wiped the fogged mirror in front of us with the towel to show Yoishi her face.
As our eyes met in the mirror, my heart skipped a beat.
Yoishi, with her clean, wet hair, was incredibly beautiful. Her smooth skin, her thin shoulders were incredible, and her clear, black eyes were as beautiful was the night sky. She was probably just dazed, but her half-opened lips had a seductive curve.
You could call it -- a waste of treasure.
However, instead of saying "thank you," Yoishi curled her lips and said.
"You're useful."
I was about to say are you serious.
I smelled something strange. Ahh, I looked at her uniform. Come to think of it, she was still wearing her muddy uniform. I wanted to take it off and clean her all over, but that was way beyond what I could do.
"You do the rest. You can use the soap there."
I stood, but the strange odor grew stronger. It was like the smell of rotting fish from the factory near the river. Odd. The ventilator was on inside the unit bath, so it should smell like the shampoo I'd just used--
And then Yoishi suddenly said.
"Did you take something from the hospital?"
"... What?"
She stood up, and then began walking somewhere--
And vomited.
Again, she vomited.
There was a toilet nearby, but she vomited the sparkling intestinal liquid right onto the floor.
"Hey, you, Yoishi!"
I was about to shout, but I recoiled in terror.
I could see through the mirror, which was still a bit foggy, on the other side of the unit bath--
In the hallway, a blue-laced sneaker.
The leg had turned bluish-white, and it was cut up like a drowned body.
Unlike me, frozen in place, Yoishi suddenly shouted.
"Get out!"
Or rather than a shout, it was like a howl, and I jumped up.
Still dripping saliva, Yoishi had turned around to the other side of the mirror -- to the hallway.
"H, hey, Yoishi."
I fearfully looked in the direction Yoishi looked, but there was no one there anymore.
Only the droplets from Yoishi remained on the hallway.
"Ah, hey, wait."
But she didn't stop, stomping across the hallway.
A river of water formed by the drops from her hair and clothes. She walked into the living room. Invading my new carpet, she continued. And without any hesitation, she went to the bag I'd tossed aside, and went through it.
"This."
She took that notebook out of the bag and looked at me.
"So you were holding it."
I didn't know how to explain it, and Yoishi looked at me.
"That's why I landed here."
4"Hey, where next?"
I was frantically pedaling the bicycle, and yelled out the question.
"Somewhere with no people."
Yoishi said, her hip resting on the carriage box of the mamcycle.
She held in her hand that notebook, which was wrapped in newspaper.
"So the reason why you came straight to my house from the hospital."
"Yes -- I was following this."
After that, Yoishi quickly ran down the hall to the kitchen, and rubbed the coarse salt from the shrine that had been left on the coffee table over her hands. She then covered her hair and her drenched clothing with it. And then, with astonishing speed, she said, "I'm borrowing this for reading," and covered the notebook with the newspaper that had been left there. However, she had a bedazzled look. She was sealing something terrible, yet her joyous look made me realize how dangerous things had become.
"So that notebook's dangerous."
"This is the root of everything."
"Root? But that's just a journal."
"Yes -- but, everyone put a meaning to it."
"Meaning--"
And then I remembered Krishna had said something similar.
"Hey, shouldn't we contact Krishna?"
But Yoishi rejected that.
"This notebook shouldn't be seen by any more people."
Those words gave me goosebumps, and she suddenly pointed ahead.
"Turn that corner."
"What?"
"There's a place I want to stop by."
I followed her order and turned into a narrow path off the main road.
There was a small shopping center. They were all closed, of course, since it was nighttime, but it was so quiet that I wondered if it was even open during the day. The streetlights were sparse and unreliable. I'd been trying to stick to roads with lots of people, but why we were going here?
"Hey, where are we headed?"
"There should be a shrine up ahead."
"You want to seal it there?"
"No."
She said naturally.
"I want to get a shimenawa there."
--Shimenawa? Get?
However, as Yoishi said, we soon saw the arch of a shrine.
Beyond the dark, tree-lined path to the shrine was the light for the main building.
I slid the bicycle into the narrow parking area, and Yoishi jumped off. She ran under the arch to a big gingko tree beside the main building. I parked the bicycle, ran to her, and quickly looked around.
"Are you sure you can do that?"
"Do you want to be cursed or anger a god? Choose."
... I didn't want either.
Yoishi must have realized that pulling on the shimenawa would yield no results, as she ran off again. She went into a shack to the side, and came out with a sickle in her hand. Before I could stop her, she cut off the shimenawa. During all this, I prayed toward the main building. Sorry, sorry, she's psychotic. She's probably not a bad person but she's psychotic.
"There's no such thing as a god, so don't worry."
She said, holding the newspaper wrapped around the notebook in her left hand, and the shimenawa in her right.
"Then why do you need shimenawa?"
"Things that people have prayed to for a long time contain an equal amount of power."
It wasn't the first time I didn't understand what she was talking about.
In any case, I frantically followed Yoishi, who ran back to the bicycle.
When we were both seated, I took off, as if escaping.
I sped up, pointing the bicycle from the shopping center to the main road, and went back full speed.
However--
I was beginning to have a strange feeling. As if the shopping center was not the same as before -- right, as if the number of shops had increased. Just as was the case when we'd come, all the shutters were closed. However, I felt like only a few of the stores had signs, but this time there was a sign on almost all of the houses. No, that wasn't all. I could see dim lighting past the windows of some of the buildings. I could sense people inside. There was enough activity that it was almost as if the stores would open any moment.
"Quickly."
Yoishi whispered to me.
I didn't need her to tell me: I was pedaling at full force.
Something was wrong. Strange things were happening around me -- no, were about to happen.
I could sense people in the narrow alleys between houses.
I could sense them looking at me, but I could no longer look back. I could feel the shutters of the stores I was passing beginning to open. I felt like the area behind me became slightly brighter, but I diligently ignored everything. I just kept pedaling and pedaling.
-- Give it back.
Suddenly, I felt like I heard that voice. I could feel countless hands reaching toward me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I repeated in my heart as I tolerated it. My whole body was covered in sweat. I sped the bicycle toward the end of the shopping center that had begun to feel endless, and flew onto the main street.
That moment.
Blinding light stretched everywhere. I could hear a horn sound. A truck. It was about to hit us from the side.
"U... wawawah."
I quickly turned. But it wasn't enough. I couldn't get out of the way.
We were going to be run over -- right as I thought that, my cheap mamcycle performed a feat of agility I never thought possible. It felt as if time stopped, and when I looked back Yoishi was hanging on for dear life. Her long hair flowed, and our center of gravity had gone so low that my face almost scraped against the ground.
"Pedal!"
That word snapped me back to reality, and I pedaled with all my might.
Both wheels were sliding, but at the last moment, they clipped the asphalt, causing both wheels to regain their traction.
"NUOOOOOOOH!"
It was just by a hair.
The truck honked again and grazed us as it passed by.
The air pressure of the truck passing by struck us, but I kept our balance. For a while, I couldn't think, and Yoishi was silent.
From ancestors to whatever--
I gave my thanks to every god I could think of.
We entered through the torn fencing, and I found myself on a wetland with wildly-growing grass.
The surrounding area was dark. Whenever the moon hid behind a cloud, we couldn't even see each others' faces.
The ground was soft, and the area was filled with the displeasing odor of sludge. I could hear only the sound of insects.
We were north of Musashino, at a waste dump that was not used anymore.
I looked around, speechless, when Yoishi placed the penlight between her lips and placed a random stone in the middle of the notebook. She tied the shimenawa she'd just vandalized around it.
"What're you doing?"
"Sinking it."
She said, matter-of-factly.
I looked at the blackest areas of the darkness again -- at the waste dump.
That lake, a square shape of about thirty meters on each side, seemed still in the darkness.
"Hey."
As the insects kept cried, I asked.
"Do we really have to do that?"
Yoishi's white face, with light reflecting back at her, looked this way.
"He has nothing to do with this, right? He just died from an illness. So why does he have to be sunk in such a lonely place?"
"You're just feeling sorry for him."
"Have you read this notebook? He just wanted a healthy body. And yet--"
My eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and all I saw was a lake of sludge.
"And yet he has to be sunk in such a lonely place?"
"Those that fall into darkness, must be treated as darkness."
"... What?"
"All criminals have a history that causes them to stain their hands with crimes. They may have been abused by their parents. They may have been raised in an environment shunned by civilization. They may have been hurt to the point where their souls broke. And yet, once you've fallen to the darkness, you can't come back."
Yoishi never stopped, and I just watched.
What to do. What should I do? Yoishi quickly continued her work. There was no hesitation in her actions. But her slender back stole my eyes away again. It looked to me like she was tying herself. Like she was trying to eliminate her dirtied self. Like that dream--
Where human Yoishi was kicking snake Yoishi.
"Stop."
When I realized it, I was holding Yoishi's hand.
"Lets think of something else."
"There is nothing else."
"Like a temple, or an exorcist."
"It's not something they can deal with."
I couldn't stand her decisive tone.
"Why can you say that?"
I looked at her white face.
"You don't know until you've tried."
"I do know."
She pointed her obsidian eyes, darker than the surroundings, and said.
"Those that know darkness once, are drawn into their depths."
I became speechless.
I thought of the author who disappeared into the damn on a rainy night. I thought that was just romanticism that existed in stories. I thought it was just middle school delusions. But when she said it, I could only accept that there was weight behind them.
Still--
Still, I shook my head.
I wanted to ask, is it alright be drawn in, to be swallowed.
What's the point of knowing the identity of darkness? What's the point of sinking to the bottom of the dam? People die eventually. You can leave the joy of darkness to that occasion. I love the mysterious. I'm excited by the depth of the world shown by the impossible. But just like my father prays to the mountain god when he cuts lumber from the mountain, the existance that we can't see, that reigns supreme over mere human strength -- you can call it nature or whatever -- it was like paying respect to them.
I learned that from mother. When I was a kid, I trembled in fear of the seizures that I couldn't predict. One morning, I was awakened at sunrise, and was taken to Mount Eboshi. We entered the mountain in the darkness, and I clung to mother's hand, rubbing my sleepy eyes as we climbed. I remember we couldn't see the foot of the mountain at night, and I was terrified by the demonic screeches of inexplicable animals. I climbed, terrified, clinging to my mother's hand as my only source of dependability. I didn't know why mother brought me to the mountain. But when we arrived at the summit, when mother pointed her finger at the rising sun, I made a voice that was no voice. The darkness was split asunder, and the sight of light staining everything in overpowering light made me experience awe. The miracle that created this world, the life on this world, I was shown proof that overpowered prophecies, that we were just allowed to live.
As I thought such random things--
"You should come to Fujieda one day."
I said.
"I'll show you the light of sunrise on Mount Eboshi. If you can still say that then, say it."
Yoishi's eyes were opened a bit wide in surprise.
-- Ahh.
I'm stupid. I'm really stupid.
I thought, but I couldn't take back my words.
I stuck out my chest.
"That's that."
"What you say lacks any logic whatsoever."
She sighed, and I couldn't fault her for it.
"Anyways, I'm not sinking him."
I took the notebook from Yoishi, and embraced it.
Yoishi silently looked at me for a bit, and then.
"Do as you wish."
She left those words coldly, turned her back to me, and left.
I know.
I know that I'm a wuss beyond saving, I know that well.
Basically, that was it. As you'd expect, I ignored Yoishi's warning and brought the notebook back home, and within a week, strange happenings popped up one after another.
For example, one raining morning.
On the bus ride to university, I saw it.
When I was holding onto the strap, I saw it just a bit away.
A man wearing a kamishimo, like you'd see in a historical drama. The color was faded, and he stood there. He wore a white hakama to go with the stained blue, which made him stand out, yet no one so much as glanced at him. Of course, cosplay was all the rage these days, so I looked away. However, when the bus arrived at a stop and I looked in that direction again, he was gone. I thought he had merely gotten off. Then I looked outside, and almost fainted. For some reason, he was standing on top of a building next to the main street. He was nonchalantly walking on top of the fencing on the roofs of buildings.
And then, during a lecture:
I heard the sound of a whistle. It was light and lonely, being carried by the wind. A wind chime, I thought, but then I realized that it wasn't coming from outside. It was emanating from the classroom, or more specifically, from beside me. I hurriedly glanced around, but, of course, no one was playing a flute. Or rather, if someone were blowing a flute during a lecture, the professor would shout in anger. I quickly suppressed by pounding heart and breathed deeply a few times. However, I still heard the flute. The melody wasn't long enough to follow, but it was also not short enough to ignore. And yet, the tune was firm and lingered in your head. I became scared and covered my ears. That moment, I felt goosebumps down my back. I could still hear it. I could hear it even though I was covering my ears. When I realized I was hearing it from inside my head, I covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming, and leaped out of the classroom.
During noon recess, it happened again when I was playing basketball with some university friends of mine in the gymnasium.
When I'd cut off the ball and was dribbling through opposing territory, the opposing player, who was part of the basketball team, did a quick cover. That moment, I saw someone raise their hand in the corner of my vision. I tossed a pass intended to bypass the opposing defense. However, what I heard was an out-of-bounds whistle, and my teammates asked, "What're you doing?"
"Huh? You were running there weren't you?"
I asked back, but my teammates answered, that's the wrong way.
I was confused as I kept playing, but during the match, I tossed a pass to someone only at the edge of my vision twice, to the irritation of my teammates.
... What was going on?
I figured something was wrong, and wandered outside the gymnasium. I went to the fountain at the side of the entrance, turned on the water and drank a gulp. Then I sat on the bench to the side, and raised my head. The sky was blindingly clear. But despite it being clear, I felt like something was dark. As if the world I was used to seeing was slightly foggy. Like an aged photo, there was a world I wasn't related to. It was as if I'd bid farewell to the world I used to be living in.
"I guess it's that thing's fault."
The notebook was still in my house.
I brought it home in the end, but I kept it tied shut with Yoishi's shimenawa out of fear, and placed it at the back of my closet. So far, I had been resting peacefully, as nothing had happened since -- but I must still have parts of me worried about it. This is probably why I was seeing strange things.
Just then, someone sat next to me.
I subconsciously slid over a bit for them--
But when I saw the shoes being worn, my heart skipped a beat.
It was a worn sneaker. Tied with blue laces, worn without socks.
My whole body froze, and I couldn't move.
I don't remember how I was even breathing.
Sound disappeared, and the world was covered with white fog--
I just continued sitting next to that.
"Nice weather."
I heard a voice as what felt like an eternity passed.
I snapped my head up, and saw Ishikawa, who attended the same language class as me, smiling.
He was a pretty typical university student for this fairly well-to-do university.
"You okay?"
"... Uh, yeah."
My body was able to move again. When I glanced to the side, there was no one sitting there anymore. I opened my fist, closed it. It moved. However, my palms were covered with sweat.
"Just off work?"
"No."
"It looks like you haven't gotten enough sleep."
Hahahah, Ishikawa laughed. He was incredibly capable at getting good work, good company, and good connections, so when I looked at him, I felt a bit ashamed at how silly my worries were.
"Hey, Nagito, listen."
He put a moment's break before saying.
"That's edible."
Those words made me intestinal juice churn. It felt like dirty factory liquid had been poured into my stomach. Overcome by a feeling of vomiting that was rising from my gut, I ran from there.
When I stood up and looked at Ishikawa's face, it looked different. Like a pure, black, inhuman thing. I was going nuts. In any case, I was at my limit, I thought.
That moment, the sky became cloudy. I thought the clouds had come out and looked up, but it was still bright and sunny. The clear sky stretched on forever. But it was dark. Just the area around me was dark. I kept running, pressed by that sensation. I ran through campus, heading toward the west wing.
Having broken off ties with Yoishi, there was only one person I could rely on.
"Krishna!"
I arrived in front of the room and banged on the steel door, but there was no response. I peered through the foggy glass, and listened, but I didn't sense anyone inside. I leaned against the wall and pulled out my cell phone. And then I called Krishna's cellphone, the number that had been written on the business card. The time it took until she picked up felt like forever, and I waited, gathering my breath.
"... Hello?"
I became teary at the voice I heard.
"Krishna, I'm in trouble."
I felt like I was about to scream.
"What? What happened?"
"I think someone's possessing me."
This time I definitely told her everything.
That I took the notebook from the hospital. That I'd kept silent about it. That Yoishi was going to throw it away, but I brought it back home. And that my life was crumbling apart.
I told her everything, and begged.
"Save me, please."
On the other side of the phone, Krishna went silent.
I was prepared to hear her, "you're hopeless." I didn't care how much she scolded me. I didn't care if she insulted me. Even then, she should be able to come up with something.
"Well, what I can say."
I heard Krishna's voice.
"Is that I can't help you."
"Huh? Why?"
"I'm in Aomori."
"-- Huh?"
Come to think of it, her voice did sound distant.
"Wait... why'd you go to Aomori?"
"To correct my spine."
"Why'd you go to Aomori to correct your spine--"
"The spine is an air duct. Well, it'd be a long explanation, so whatever. Anyways my teacher's going to talk."
-- Teacher?
Ahh, Krishna did mention having a teacher... is she with that person?
As I was sorting things out in my head.
"Yo! G'day."
I heard a bright male voice. I heard Aomori, so I expected some stoic voice, imagining a grandmother-like teacher, so this took some air out of me.
"Well, first I want to check your situation. Is there water nearby?"
"Water."
I looked around, and saw a sink at the end of the hall.
"Yes."
"Alright, wash your hands. And the back of your neck."
I dashed over and did as he told.
"Done."
"Good. Now when you've washed yourself well, put out your left arm."
I did that, too.
"Lightly close your fist, and then repeat the sutra I'm about to tell you seven times."
I frantically nodded, and repeated the sutra he whispered seven times.
"Done? Now write '鬼の字' (letter of ogre) with a finger from your right-hand on each of your fingers, then blow hard on them, and as you do that, listen carefully."
I didn't understand. I didn't understand, but I listened.
My opened hand was drenched in sweat, and my fingers twitched from stress.
"-- now."
His voice suddenly became lower.
"Which finger is trembling?"
... Umm.
My middle finger was trembling a lot, and my medicine finger was trembling with it.
I told him my middle finger, and the man on the other side of the line went silent.
"Um... hello?"
... Don't suddenly go silent, man, it's scary.
"Hey. Can you hear me? Is it bad if it's the middle finger?"
I shouted, and from the other side of the phone came a stupidly bright voice.
"OUT!"
... Hey.
"... Hello? Um, Nagi!"
"... Ah, Krishna."
"Can you hear me? Are you ok?"
I had lost consciousness for a moment from that OUT! shout, apparently.
I'd slumped over the sink.
"... Where'd that bastard go?"
I felt anger bubbling forth and asked.
"Teacher's using spiritual vision on you right now."
Krishna said from the other side of the phone.
"Well, we don't have a photo so all we're doing is gathering information and thinking of a direction. We can't figure out what's possessing you and why."
"Is that teacher someone trustworthy?"
I asked, and Krishna laughed a bit.
"Who knows, he's an oddball. But his opinions are never wrong. I can guarantee that."
I didn't really get it, but the way she said that annoyed me. Was it jealousy of the trust she showed? Or maybe it was because that bastard shouted OUT! like it was not his business. I didn't get it, but I decided not to trust that guy.
"So, what was with the trembling finger?"
"That was a Japanese type of curse for Shisoushikibetsunodaiji. It lets him figure out what type of ghost is possessing you."
"What did he mean by out?"
"Teacher said he didn't really believe it, but -- the middle finger isn't a normal ghost."
"Not a normal ghost... then what?"
"If I had to give a word, a god."
"... Huh?"
"A high god or a demonic god -- whatever the case, it's not a normal aimless ghost."
Wait. Why's that possessing me -- I thought, but then I remembered.
Come to think of it, Yoishi and I had snuck into a shrine at night and cut off a shimenawa. But wait, I wasn't the one that cut it, and I apologized plenty. I understand it's not a forgivable offense, but this is pretty over the top.
"In any case, we'll come back to Tokyo immediately. It'll be night by the time we arrive I think, so take a memo of what what we're going to tell you."
I checked my pockets but there was no paper, so I bowed to a female student that was passing by, and borrowed a paper and pen.
And I said go on, to Krishna on the other side of the phone.
"First, throw away that notebook."
She said.
"The location should be somewhere people don't go. The waste dump that you and Yoishi went to should be fine."
But I still had some resistance.
"Do I really have to do that?"
"I sort of understand how you feel. But that's the root of everything."
"Why? What did that child--"
"Probably, the clump of countless souls are stuck to that notebook."
I felt like a lot of scattered things were becoming connected by those words.
"I told you ghosts that have lost their purpose seek purpose? I don't know who wrote the words onto the wall. But together, they gave ghosts purpose, and it's probable that that's what's causing everything."
-- I see. So that's how it was.
That's why Yoishi said to throw that away.
And Krishna said the words were bad.
Still, I had to swallow my refusal that was just at the tip of my tongue.
He was, me. He was just suffering. He just wanted help. He just wanted to jump around and laugh with everyone.
"Nagi, listen. That kid's already dead."
She boomed.
"He's not in this world anymore. As long as you keep acting compassionate to that kid, you're never going to be able to shed the ghosts."
I.
I.
I--
I was about to say something back, when I noticed. I opened my trembling left hand. And the medicine finger was beginning to tremble even more than the middle finger.
"Um, Krishna."
I said with a trembling voice.
"Um, my medicine finger is trembling really hard, too."
"-- Huh?"
"Is this."
And then the cell phone became filled with static.
Suddenly, I could hear something that sounded like bubbling on the surface of water.
"Huh...? Hello?"
"H... hello...?"
Somewhere far away, I could hear Krishna's voice. But it was no longer a conversation.
Static, then bubbles. And mixed in, I heard a low voice. Countless human voices combined--
"Don't listen!"
Krishna suddenly shouted.
"D- don't listen, then what should I do?"
And then the phone cut out.
"K- Krishna?"
I tried calling back a number of times, but the phone never connected.
5... What should I do?
The sun was setting, and I'd been desperately clinging to sunlight, but I was about to run out of places to go.
Anyways, to where people are -- to a noisy place with lots of people--
All of a sudden, I'd dragged myself to the lecture hall across from the courtyard.
However--
My feet stopped in front of the glass door to the lecture hall.
Inside the classroom, a hundred-some odd students were seated, and a professor was writing on the blackboard on the podium. I could hear the sounds of notes being taken. I could hear the sound of chalk against the blackboard. The lecture hall was filled with the silent fervor of people doing what they're supposed to be doing.
I couldn't go in.
I felt ashamed. I was shamed toward my parents. I clawed at my hair. I was in Tokyo against the will of my parents, and was even indebted to my sister. It wasn't easy for my household to pay for tuition. And yet, what was I doing? I'd been mesmerized by the occult, gone to a place I wasn't supposed to go, abandoned everything in a half-assed way, and gotten possessed. An idiot was just being an idiot and living an idiotic life.
Could I still return?
Could I still return to where I belonged?
As Yoishi said, as Krishna said, I should just throw away the notebook. But the immaturity inside me refused. It shouted that it still didn't feel like the right thing to do. Part of me wanted to throw it away, and another part wanted to hang on, and it was also me that stood here dumbfounded. It was me that was tormented by those complex feelings, and it was me bothering lots of people, and it was me that stepped further and further away from the path I should be taken. Many of me killed each other inside my head, punching each other, stabbing each other, tearing at each other, tearing them apart. A vicious war continued, and all of me died. At the end, I stopped. I stopped thinking, and the me that was no longer anything stared at the classroom -- and saw the me I didn't know.
The seat I was always sitting in -- the far right seat on the fifth row from the front.
I was sitting there.
With a carefree look, looking bored, I was attending the lecture.
That moment, it felt like something inside me crumbled.
-- Was it reversed?
-- Was I the ghost, and he the real thing?
I could no longer see things as reality. I felt like something that had been created after the movie had been completed. My reality was just connected to the world through a thin strand. It was that simple to cut it off. Like Zippo's friend, the strand was cut one day, and you could never go back.
I wobbled away from the lecture hall, and sat down on a bench.
I clutched my hair with both hands. I could hear the sound of cars, like white noise, and the dark trees and bulletin boards and flower pots in front of me, they all looked like giant, made-up tools.
The normalcy of this place was suddenly extinguished.
I finally understood how terrifying that was. My values shook. I didn't know where I stood. I realized I was completely pointless. That moment, I didn't even have any tears. Because it was pointless. What was the point of a pointless thing doing something pointless? Emptiness only gave birth to emptiness.
-- How does it feel to be scared?
Yoishi had asked me.
Yoishi, I get it.
This is fear. To lose your place.
-- This.
I raised my head, and in front of me was a white face.
Mitsurugi Yoishi's long, black hair was flowing in the wind, and her big eyes were looking at me.
"At this rate, you're going to die."
The high school girl in a uniform stood out on the evening university campus.
The university students walking by glanced in our direction as they went.
"Why do you wish to carry that person's darkness -- to the point of suffering this much?"
Yoishi's glass bead-like eyes lacked the usual hollowness.
Instead, there was light that wanted to know something other than "fear."
"Why..."
Why? I didn't know. I didn't know, that's why I was suffering. I couldn't answer that question now. So I just talked, not knowing why.
"... isn't that normal?"
"-- what?"
"If someone's carrying something that heavy... don't you usually help?"
"Even if it's beyond your control?"
The words left me speechless.
I didn't know. That's why I'd been sticking my hand in so many things and then leaving them half-assed. Then should I not have stuck my hand in them? Is that it?
"Beyond my control -- eh, shit."
I clawed through my hair.
"It's not like I'm sticking my hand into everything I see. There's a basis--"
"Basis?"
"Because, if I were to do that naturally -- it'd only be for friends."
I said that word, and was surprised.
To be honest, the death boy wasn't a friend. I don't know how he looks and I'd never talked to him, of course. But I shared his pain. I was in the same state of suffering. As a kid, to have felt death nearby, his wish wasn't someone else's business. Please fix my sickness. When I first saw those words, I had felt that in my soul.
-- I can't do anything, but I can be with you.
That's why I took the notebook with me. The way my mother had stayed with me, holding my hand until the seizure had passed for hours. It was the only port for me in the middle of a sea of fear. Just by having one person by your side, people can overcome things, I wanted to teach him.
"-- I'm an idiot."
I'd started crying.
"An idiot," I was repeating.
"Indeed, it's not logical."
Yoishi silently whispered, and then she suddenly pulled a cell phone from her pocket.
I thought she was going to call someone, but suddenly she began moving her fingers at a frenetic pace.
I thought she was sending someone a message, but her finger speed was unthinkable. Without blinking, Yoishi continued pounding away with her thumb, like a broken automated doll that was repeating the same motion. A drop of sweat appeared on her forehead, then stuck to her hair, and she stood there without moving, standing with her legs slightly apart. Only her thumb roared at a high speed.
I stared, jaw agape--
And it continued for almost an hour.
Our surroundings had become entirely covered in darkness, and sometimes a patrolling security guard came by, and I would bow my head, saying, "Wait a bit for her please." That's how much urgency her fingertips seemed to have.
The typing that seemed to go on forever suddenly stopped.
And Yoishi's limbs immediately lost strength, having cut off the immense level of concentration. Yoishi crumbled to the ground -- and I quickly caught her. For the first time, I found out she was extremely light.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I asked, and she nodded slightly.
"...What were you doing?"
But she didn't answer, instead saying an inexplicable, "How comfortable."
"But, this should solve everything."
And with that--
Yoishi's eyes rolled up and she lost consciousness.
Late at night that same day.
"Are you alright?"
Krishna shouted, jumping into my room, and when she saw Yoishi lying in my blanket, she began opening and closing her mouth.
"Ah... oh... you."
"... Yes?"
"You, a high school girl... are you serious! What're you doing bringing a high school girl into your room! And sh- sh- she's sleeping in your blanket!"
She began blushing and shouting.
Maybe this person was extremely weak to that type of topic?
"Well well, Krishna, calm down."
Karasu arrived then.
Changing the wet towel on Yoishi's forehead, she explained for me.
"When I'd come to pick up my belongings, Nagi was carrying this girl on his back and crying 'she collapsed she collapsed.' And when I looked, she had quite a fever. My room's a warehouse and has no blankets, so we gave her medicine and lay her down here."
That's how it is, and still seated straight, I shot Krishna an insulted look.
"I- I see -- sorry. And, are you alright?"
She said, and Krishna placed a big travel bag at the edge of the room and looked at me. I noticed that there was a bit of displacement between her shoulder and her head.
"I don't know... but Yoishi was saying that everything should be solved."
"Say what?"
"I don't know what she's doing, and I really don't know what she did this time."
Krishna sank to her butt on the spot, and sighed. She must have really rushed over from Aomori. I felt sorry for her faintness.
"I'm sorry. I've bothered you quite a bit."
I lowered my head deeply, and she venomously replied, definitely.
"It was quite hectic. I couldn't connect to your cell phone anymore, and our cell phone got wrecked a bit -- anyways, I'll tell you what teacher said. The results of your spiritual vision."
She pulled out a thick memopad from her bag and began reading.
"First -- the result of the "Shisoushikibetsunodaiji," you said your middle finger trembled. The middle finger, as we mentioned over the phone, is a high god or a demonic god, but afterwards you said your medicine finger also moved, right? If you said that earlier we would have reacted differently."
"What do you mean?"
"The medicine finger means a living ghost."
"... Huh?"
No, wait.
Living ghost? Like, where jealous or hatred become a spiritual form...
"Yes, that living ghost. The person who fired it doesn't realize it either, a rather bothersome spiritual obstruction."
Krishna continued, but it didn't make sense to me.
"In other words? I was going through this, but the person who fired that off is just living happily every day?"
"Well, yes."
I instantly became angry. I'd been put through this much despair and fear, so I was overcome with rage.
"Who? I want to punch them."
I said, and Krishna shrugged her shoulders, that'd be pretty tough.
"Feel like going around punching every occult-lover around the nation?"
"........ Around the nation?"
"Well, to be specific, probably almost everyone around the Tokyo region. Because the rumors about the 'hospital that grants wishes' spread quite oddly around the Tokyo locale. In other words, every person who feels a hint of hope from the idiotic information that the hospital grants wishes -- their wishes became a living ghost, gathered together with that hospital as a home, and became an incredibly large spiritual clump."
"Then, the man I saw wearing a kamishimo--"
"Probably a ghost floating about in the area. For a clump of spiritual forms, the ones that have the most memories are the ones that gain superiority. I said ghosts float about when they've lost sight of their purpose, but basically, that means the true suspect behind this incident is that huge spiritual form. The large, floating ghost and the living ghosts then further combined, gathered around the urban legend that 'wishes come true,' and became as powerful as a god."
I was aghast, and Krishna turned the page and began reading the next page.
"And another. There's a device that amplifies living ghosts."
"Device?"
"The internet."
Krishna pushed her red-framed glasses up with her middle finger, and stared at me.
"Ahh, it's pretty stupid -- the fuss over that hospital on the internet. It's not like putting something randomly in the hospital in the proper position would be enough to grant a wish, and nobody's wish really came true. However, it is a place with that much focused emotion. I'm sure one or two ghosts existed. So they go there for a selfish wish, and then end up hurt. What do people do, then?"
"... Scum."
Everything was coming together.
Slowly, the feeling of hope would inflate. They would go there, braving fear. Yet, nothing happened. Wishes were never granted. I would feel ashamed for believing such a thing -- but there are people who refuse to let themselves be the only ones fooled.
"Yes -- such a pitiful, helpless gathering of malice in letter form. The twisted desires transform into malice, and those call even crueler thoughts. The urban legend of 'the hospital that grants wishes' was born this way."
That's why Yoishi said it was pathetic.
That's why she said ghosts exist on the internet.
-- I'd understood to that point, but I realized there were still other mysteries. Like the incident last year at that hospital. Where Yoishi alone had disappeared from the others, but there was a difference in their memories. How was that explained?
I asked, and Krishna shot me a doubtful look. She was probably worried about my mental stability. But I begged.
"Tell me. I mean, if that mystery isn't solved, I feel like I'm going to die of shock from the imagination inside me."
"Well, yes... maybe. You're quite delusional."
She said, insulting me, and then explained.
"It's simple. Because everyone Yoishi was with was a living ghost."
Those words gave me goosebumps.
Within that endless darkness--
I imagined Yoishi walking alongside living ghosts enjoying evil delusions.
"The members other than Yoishi had probably gone there to have a wish granted. In other words, when they saw the words on the wall, they wondered what was needed to grant their wish. And they wished on their hearts quite heavily. Yoishi probably saw that."
And then with a big of an envious look, Krishna looked at the sleeping Yoishi.
"This girl can probably see ghosts."
"Then Zippo's friend, only mumbling Yoishi--"
"Living ghosts are a clump of dirty ego that people don't want others to know. Imagine having this girl whisper those to you."
I remembered Krishna's words some time ago.
That Yoishi easily crosses the boundaries.
Yoishi's words are filled with things humans must not know.
So her words always sway us, who live on this side.
I was still fortunately standing on this side, but--
There was always the possibility that I would not make it back to this world.
And Zippo's friend was not able to.
"Anyways--"
Krishna said, scratching her head.
"In this case, we have to admit fault, too. Compared to the horror stories of old, that took time to change and grow in strength, urban legends these days spread quickly along the internet, and eventually, result in explosive growth. There's no root behind them. It was just an irresponsible post by someone that causes reactions and thus a landing spot. They end up summoning a real one. They say the darkness lacking any source whatsoever is the real thrill of the occult -- but in this case, a symbol appearing where things gathered to begin with was the start of everything."
"That was, the words on the note?"
I asked, and Krishna sadly nodded.
"That's how compelling his feelings were."
-- Please fix my sickness.
Those lonely words reappeared in front of my eyes.
Wanting to play outside, wanting to leave the hospital, wanting to go to school, wanting to eat a lot, wanting to play games.
To the bitter end, he returned with those wants.
"Pure, yet powerful words -- the Japanese people of old called that the power of language."
Krishna concluded.
Silence filled my room, and we could only hear the low rumbling of the refrigerator.
"But still."
Karasu said, as we were sitting there in silence.
"Does that, really, solve everything?"
... That was it.
To be honest, I'd been wondering that myself. Was it possible to exorcise a god-class spiritual form? What did Yoishi do on her cell phone? Why did she look so satisfied before losing consciousness, saying that it was comfortable: that still bothered me.
Indeed, said Krishna, and she glanced at Yoishi's white face, as she slept like she was dead.
"She said she solved everything, right?"
"Yes."
"Hmph."
Pushing up her glasses, which had slid down a bit, she snorted.
"Well, we'll see. Truthfully, I don't sense much from you right now, and I'm personally curious as to how Mitsurugi Yoishi exorcised all of that."
I had also grown tired of thinking about all of these complicated things. My body still hurt, still felt heavy, and my mind wasn't fully cleared yet. I could sleep at any moment.
"Nagi, if you want to sleep, you can use my room."
Karasu laughed, as I stifled a yawn that probably came about from relief.
"You'd be overwhelmed if you were to sleep in the same room as a high school girl, right? What youth."
W- w- what is she talking about?
I was about to say, but Krishna was the one who spoke.
"Y- you shouldn't, Nagi! How... vulgar... you can't you can't."
She was blushing as she flailed about, and Karasu calmed her down a bit and sat next to Yoishi. Then, she turned the towel over and smiled.
"I see -- this girl is Yoishi. Even though she looks so cute asleep."
Whispered Karasu, with a fond look, but--
Well, as long as she stops vomiting and takes a bath every day, I would agree.
"Nagi."
Krishna said to my back.
"You've done plenty."
"I'll responsibly send off that book where it belongs. I won't treat it with disrespect. Understand?"
I suddenly felt like crying--
So I looked away, and nodded repeatedly.
After that, my body felt lighter day by day.
Strange things stopped happening. I didn't see the man in a kamishimo. I didn't hear the sound of flutes. I didn't sense creepy people. And more than anything, the world was bright enough for me to want to skip around.
On such a day, when I'd recovered quite a bit, I passed by the main gate of the feeder school on my way to Krishna's room in the west wing. I gazed at the high school students passing by, and wondered about Yoishi.
The next morning, when Karasu and I had gone back to my room from the warehouse, she was already gone. There was no letter or anything, but the blankets were folded neatly. I fearfully took a whiff, but only the scent of my shampoo remained. That was the last I saw of her.
-- In any case, I should give at least a word of thanks.
Is what I thought, as I waited for Yoishi to come out, but she didn't. Eventually I gave up and asked a random student about Mitsurugi Yoishi.
"She's probably still in the library."
I heard. She was apparently a problem child that rarely came to school. And she emitted an aura which suggested that she didn't want to interact with other students, which I could totally imagine.
So, I hurried to the city library, which was under five minutes away, on my mamcycle.
I passed by the receptionist, and glanced through the reading seats, and found Yoishi by the far window. She was mesmerized by a thick book.
"Yo, what're you reading?"
I called out, and she answered without lifting her head.
"Kürten's manuscript."
"Who's that? An author?"
I sat across from her and asked, and she shook her head.
"A famous German serial killer. His murders were so abnormal people couldn't arrest him until he turned himself in."
I was exasperated, but she continued with a bewitched expression.
"Kürten's orgasms, where he ejaculates while killing, are very interesting."
I took a peek, and it was a book with gross monochrome photographs that made you want to look away.
"Oh, well."
I mumbled, and said what I had come to say.
"I don't know what you did, but my body feels lighter. I stopped seeing weird things, too. And Krishna took care of that notebook. In any case, you saved me quite a bit. Thanks."
I bowed my head.
"That's good."
She mumbled, and she grabbed the book and bag as she stood up.
She carefully returned the book to the shelf, and began walking to the entrance.
-- So, what did you do?
I was about to ask, but this time I restrained myself. Krishna said I had no capacity for learning, but that wasn't true. I had room to grow. I understood that this was as far as I could go. This time I really, painfully learned. So I restrained myself, and saw her off as she walked away.
However, after a few meters, she seemed to remember something, as she turned around.
She came back near me, leaned in, and whispered in my ear.
"You shouldn't look at websites related to that abandoned hospital for a while."
"... Huh?"
"Farewell."
And with that, she walked away.
I stood there dumbfounded for a bit--
But something bubbled forth, an immense level of curiosity.
No, wait, stop that. I'm the type that goes when I'm told not to go. I'd been like this all my life. And of course, I could already imagine myself crying from this, but -- I'd realized I'd already taken my cell phone from my pocket. Just a bit. Just let me take a quick peek, and if it was dangerous, I'll run away. I told myself.
I immediately accessed the internet, and randomly did a search for "Hachiouji" "abandoned hospital" "wish." A bunch of pages I'd looked at before appeared, and I opened the first one.
However--
"... What the hell."
I was surprised, and checked other sites.
"... the same."
Each site had the respective threads abandoned after a flurry of posts. The day they stopped being posted in was exactly a week ago. They matched the time and date that Yoishi had been typing into her phone.
"She wrote this?"
Fearfully, I read the post.
And at the top of the post, I immediately understood.
They all began with that famous line.
"You alone are responsible for reading this story. Please understand as you continue."
The self-responsibility-type horror story that was famous around the internet.
They say that just by reading, you begin experiencing the paranormal, and they always have odd lacks of closure. Some say that the text itself contain the words for summoning ghosts hidden within, and others rumor that the words are designed to ward away guardian spirits.
I read a bit more and immediately understood. No matter who read it, it was apparent the story was related to the "abandoned hospital."
"... I see, that's a nifty idea."
To remove the will hovering about the abandoned hospital, you just needed to make it taboo.
It was a story of a girl attracted to the "abandoned hospital" that slowly stepped foot into a world of madness.
I was drawn in from the beginning. The words were filled with reality, and the depictions of personalities crumbling apart were powerful. The somewhat twisted backdrop felt very real, and the horror stories she spoke of, the real ones with a bit of a strange feeling, were written in such a way that there was an odd sense of discomfort left by them. Yoishi was able to write like this? I was surprised, but at the same time, I wanted to read the end.
In the library, as the sun set, I found myself clutching my cell phone to me as I read, entranced by the story. Her usage of hiragana to depict the crumbling minds was terrifying. It was like Algernon. Even as I thought that, I held my breath and kept reading. I felt a bit of coldness as I kept reading. And then, as the girl faced destiny and was stepping into the basement of the hospital--
Suddenly, the screen of my cell phone was covered.
When I looked up, Yoishi had returned and was reaching out with her hand.
And with her dark, deep eyes gazing upon me--
"You shouldn't read the end."
And those were the most terrifying set of words I'd ever heard.
Chapter end
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