Lazy Dungeon Master Chapter 308

​ We were en route to the second inn-town after Mikhan, passing through a pretty rocky area filled with shaded areas . We’d finally arrived somewhere with good public safety, a main road .

​ … That town we stopped at last night was great . Being able to sleep properly in a private room was a huge difference compared to sleeping out in a tent .

​ Just then, we were stopping for a toilet break . There were a lot of shaded areas and there weren’t any enemies around, so it was a great opportunity .

​ We decided we’d have some lunch after we were done relieving ourselves .

​ “Phew…”

​ … Humans had to deal with physiological phenomena to keep living, I was no exception . Rokuko was, though, since she was a dungeon core .

​ “Oh, Master Kehma . I’ll join you, excuse me . ”

​ “Uoooh!? Why’d you come here for!? I’m in the middle of something!”

​ “Oh come now . The men in the knight order always do it and I wanted to give it a try too, so I figured now was a good chance!”

​ Shikina was standing next to me as she spoke .

​ “But you’re a girl! You can’t—”

​ “~♪”

​ … Oh, come to think of it, she got affected by that [Futanaru] magic drug so she had it . I’d forgot . Wait, it’s still there?

​ “Mmmm, penises are so convenient!”

​ “Just stop, you lewd girl . Girls shouldn’t talk like that . ”

​ “Whoops, excuse me . Still though, it was hard to get used to . I mean, I have two holes to pee from now so it’s pretty hard to just get it out the right one . So I’ve been practicing with it!”

​ “Please spare me the details . Women shouldn’t talk about pee like that . ”

​ As ever, she’d never stop on her own .

​ “… Ummm . So, it’s still there? When’s it supposed to go away?”

​ “She said it’d be sometime within the next year… but it’s basically just a part of me now . No, it’s always been a part of me! … I think of it like my child . Like how it grows up when I care for it—”

​ “Ahem! Uhh, so, we’ll be going to the imperial capital, your house is there right? … Will it be alright?”

​ Although I didn’t exactly damage her… she did manage to have an extra, well, tool .

​ Her parents learning of that seems a bit scary .

​ “Well, you could probably hide it for a little while, but…”

​ “Do not worry yourself! For I… have realized I am a man! Just look at this thing!”

​ “That’s exactly why I’m worrying!”

​ Don’t say anything about having one, seriously . I mean really, promise me, yeah? It’d suck, so please don’t .

​ “But well, I feel like we’ve deepened our relationship, Master! So this is what they all talked about, bonding by peeing together? I bet it is!”

​ “The… f*ck? Never again . Seriously, please, I can feel my mind breaking . ”

​ “Awww! … Oh well, I’ll join in on Wataru-sensei or Gozoh-dono next time!”

​ It looked like the next victim wouldn’t be me again, so I decided to leave it be .

​ Let’s not step on any snakes I don’t have to…

​ After we ate, I suddenly remembered how I was the only one left out when we were dealing with the flame dragon a few days before . I was a bit worried about it, so I decided to ask Ichika for more information .

​ “Sooo, Ichiksensei . Got a sec?”

​ “Sooo, Ichiksensei . Got a sec?”

​ “What’s up?”

​ Hmm, how should I put it? I was worried about everyone easily coming to grips with Ontentoo but just couldn’t accept Igni .

​ “Why was Igni no good but Ontentoo was OK?”

​ “Oh, that’s ’cause of magnitudes . ”

​ “Magnitudes?”

​ Ichika nodded when I parroted the word back to her .

​ “Like their status . I meant, between Igni and Ontentoo, Ontentoo’s is bigger . Like, Ontentoo’s is waaaaaay bigger . ”

​ “… Yeah, I don’t follow . ”

​ I mean, if his is bigger, wouldn’t that mean Ontentoo’s more frightening?

​ “Mmm, to put it a way ya’ll understand… it’s like comparing a bag of flour to the entire field? Igni bein’ the flour, Ontentoo the field . ”

​ Oh .

​ I started to understand what Ichika was saying .

​ To put it another way, it’s the difference between being able to comprehend a numerical value at first sight versus not .

​ To put it some other ways, a truck versus a skyscraper, or a dump truck versus the ground itself . Like what kind of damage could it deal…?

​ “Igni’s, well, easy to understand just how strong she is . Ontentoo’s more… unknowable . It’s more like yer the only person that’d think [Oh yeah, he’s a great guy], Goshujin-sama . ”

​ “It’s that big of a difference?”

​ Saying that, Ichika leaned forward to whisper something into my ears so that no one else could hear .

​ “By the way, Goshujin-sama… in terms of magical power only, it’s probably the same for Goshujin-sama too?”

​ “Eh?”

​ “Eh?”

​ “I mean, yer a hero . It’s natural ya’d be that strong right?”

​ “… But like, I haven’t trained at all?”

​ Ichika shrugged and sighed, a gesture that seemed to say something like [That’s why ya don’t get it, Goshujin-sama] .

​ “Goshujin-sama’s been usin’ [Create Golem] most every day ya? That’s magic, remember? And I’ve heard stuff about how stuff like meditation and faith raisin’ magic power . ”

​ “… Wait, sleeping is training?”

​ Now that I think about it, I’d had to drink tons of mana potions to restore my magical power from using [Create Golem] during that last Dungeon Battle, but nowadays I basically don’t use them at all . Well, I they do taste kind of alright, so I do sip some now and then .

​ “I’ve also heard about how using yer magical power up and then letting it entirely fill back up over and over and over again can actually improve yer resilience and capacity . Dunno if that’s true though . ”

​ I see, so your resilience improves by exhausting your supply, while your maximum capacity increases by storing it up… or something? Though she did say it might not be true .

​ “So then, it’s just my guess but like… imagine heroes have like a hundred points . Wataru woulda split his half ‘n half between strength and magic yeah? But yers is more like all in on magic . Get it? It makes sense . ”

​ “Yeah . Great job, Ichika . Your theory makes sense . ”

​ “Also, Goshujin-sama, ya know how far you’ll be able to go usin’ magic yeah? Yer upper limit I mean . ”

​ “…”

​ Crap, I have no clue . I mean like, magic’s something that you can do anything with if you have the magical power for it, is that the upper limit?

​ Isn’t that a contradictory question, like if you’re asked a [Yes] or [No] question like [Is your answer [No]?] . Whatever you answer could mean either .

​ … Come to think of it, it was a fail, but I did try summoning Ichika with that [Summon Gargoyle] magic a while back, and even that should be possible if I’d reorganized it to be closer to [Teleport] or something . I just needed the magical power for it .

​ “Not bein’ able to respond straight off is what I mean . To be honest, me, Gozoh, Wataru—none of us can figure out how strong yer magical power is, Goshujin-sama . ”

​ “And physically?”

​ “I could probably beat ya if ya didn’t wear a clothes golem . Ya’d probably even lose against a Pavueran punk . ”

​ Oh . Alright then . Well, I’m confident in my magical ability so there’s that I guess .

​ “Hey, am I actually pretty awesome?”

​ Oh . Alright then . Well, I’m confident in my magical ability so there’s that I guess .

​ “Hey, am I actually pretty awesome?”

​ “Yer just now gettin’ it?”

​ Ichika spoke in amazement . It got me thinking .

​ “But yeah… as far as battle’s concerned… Goshujin-sama, yer magical power’s just too much . If ya put it next to Igni’s magical power, yers would probably drown it completely? It’s like S-Rank with a good bit to spare . Ya’d get wrecked if ya didn’t have the clothes golem on, but with it… ya’d beat even B-Rank adventurers… yeah . ”

​ Mulling it over for a moment, Ichika turned to me again .

​ “Objectively lookin’, Goshujin-sama’s amazin’?”

​ “O-Oh . ”

​ I guess I am? I guess, since if not there’s no way I’d ever have something like a connection to B-Rank adventurers .

​ … Though I guess it wasn’t just a connection, be it the dragon subjugation or Ontentoo .

​ “So . Today’s dinner is meat from the great boar Meat-senpai and everyone hunted . Wataru sliced the meat suuuper thin and boiled it!”

​ “Shabushabu1 huh . Is there any sauce?”

​ By the way, this world has shabushabu too . It sounded like the god of food, Hero Ishidaka, made it well known… I wonder if he spread the concept of draining the animal’s blood first, too?

​ Well, I guess it’s possible he didn’t . It’d be a profitable thing to keep close, after all .

​ “… Is there a magic that can drain blood in one go?”

​ “Huh? Why’d ya bring that up? That’d be super convenient . You can do it?”

​ “Is it space-time magic, or water magic? Should the blood drain out of the body directly? Or maybe from its mouth… well, it might be impossible . ”

​ “That’d kill a human straight off if ya used it on them… Goshujin-sama’s cruel . ”

​ Don’t say that . It’s supposed to be a convenient magic, not some instakill magic .

​ … I guess it’s just another example of it depending on how it’s used?

 .

​ We were en route to the second inn-town after Mikhan, passing through a pretty rocky area filled with shaded areas . We’d finally arrived somewhere with good public safety, a main road

​ … That town we stopped at last night was great . Being able to sleep properly in a private room was a huge difference compared to sleeping out in a tent

​ Just then, we were stopping for a toilet break . There were a lot of shaded areas and there weren’t any enemies around, so it was a great opportunity

​ We decided we’d have some lunch after we were done relieving ourselves

​ “Phew…”.

​ … Humans had to deal with physiological phenomena to keep living, I was no exception . Rokuko was, though, since she was a dungeon core

​ “Oh, Master Kehma . I’ll join you, excuse me . ”.

​ “Uoooh!? Why’d you come here for!? I’m in the middle of something!”.

​ “Oh come now . The men in the knight order always do it and I wanted to give it a try too, so I figured now was a good chance!”.

​ Shikina was standing next to me as she spoke

​ “But you’re a girl! You can’t—”.

​ “~♪”.

​ … Oh, come to think of it, she got affected by that [Futanaru] magic drug so she had it . I’d forgot . Wait, it’s still there?.

​ “Mmmm, penises are so convenient!”.

​ “Just stop, you lewd girl . Girls shouldn’t talk like that . ”.

​ “Whoops, excuse me . Still though, it was hard to get used to . I mean, I have two holes to pee from now so it’s pretty hard to just get it out the right one . So I’ve been practicing with it!”.

​ “Please spare me the details . Women shouldn’t talk about pee like that . ”.

​ As ever, she’d never stop on her own

​ “… Ummm . So, it’s still there? When’s it supposed to go away?”.

​ “She said it’d be sometime within the next year… but it’s basically just a part of me now . No, it’s always been a part of me! … I think of it like my child . Like how it grows up when I care for it—”.

​ “Ahem! Uhh, so, we’ll be going to the imperial capital, your house is there right? … Will it be alright?”.

​ Although I didn’t exactly damage her… she did manage to have an extra, well, tool

​ Her parents learning of that seems a bit scary

​ “Well, you could probably hide it for a little while, but…”.

​ “Do not worry yourself! For I… have realized I am a man! Just look at this thing!”.

​ “That’s exactly why I’m worrying!”.

​ Don’t say anything about having one, seriously . I mean really, promise me, yeah? It’d suck, so please don’t

​ “But well, I feel like we’ve deepened our relationship, Master! So this is what they all talked about, bonding by peeing together? I bet it is!”.

​ “The… f*ck? Never again . Seriously, please, I can feel my mind breaking . ”.

​ “Awww! … Oh well, I’ll join in on Wataru-sensei or Gozoh-dono next time!”.

​ It looked like the next victim wouldn’t be me again, so I decided to leave it be

​ Let’s not step on any snakes I don’t have to….

 . *

 .

​ After we ate, I suddenly remembered how I was the only one left out when we were dealing with the flame dragon a few days before . I was a bit worried about it, so I decided to ask Ichika for more information

​ “Sooo, Ichiksensei . Got a sec?”.

​ “What’s up?”.

​ Hmm, how should I put it? I was worried about everyone easily coming to grips with Ontentoo but just couldn’t accept Igni

​ “Why was Igni no good but Ontentoo was OK?”.

​ “Oh, that’s ’cause of magnitudes . ”.

​ “Magnitudes?”.

​ Ichika nodded when I parroted the word back to her

​ “Like their status . I meant, between Igni and Ontentoo, Ontentoo’s is bigger . Like, Ontentoo’s is waaaaaay bigger . ”.

​ “… Yeah, I don’t follow . ”.

​ I mean, if his is bigger, wouldn’t that mean Ontentoo’s more frightening?.

​ “Mmm, to put it a way ya’ll understand… it’s like comparing a bag of flour to the entire field? Igni bein’ the flour, Ontentoo the field . ”.

​ Oh

​ I started to understand what Ichika was saying

​ To put it another way, it’s the difference between being able to comprehend a numerical value at first sight versus not

​ To put it some other ways, a truck versus a skyscraper, or a dump truck versus the ground itself . Like what kind of damage could it deal…?.

​ “Igni’s, well, easy to understand just how strong she is . Ontentoo’s more… unknowable . It’s more like yer the only person that’d think [Oh yeah, he’s a great guy], Goshujin-sama . ”.

​ “It’s that big of a difference?”.

​ Saying that, Ichika leaned forward to whisper something into my ears so that no one else could hear

​ “By the way, Goshujin-sama… in terms of magical power only, it’s probably the same for Goshujin-sama too?”.

​ “Eh?”.

​ “I mean, yer a hero . It’s natural ya’d be that strong right?”.

​ “… But like, I haven’t trained at all?”.

​ Ichika shrugged and sighed, a gesture that seemed to say something like [That’s why ya don’t get it, Goshujin-sama]

​ “Goshujin-sama’s been usin’ [Create Golem] most every day ya? That’s magic, remember? And I’ve heard stuff about how stuff like meditation and faith raisin’ magic power . ”.

​ “… Wait, sleeping is training?”.

​ Now that I think about it, I’d had to drink tons of mana potions to restore my magical power from using [Create Golem] during that last Dungeon Battle, but nowadays I basically don’t use them at all . Well, I they do taste kind of alright, so I do sip some now and then

​ “I’ve also heard about how using yer magical power up and then letting it entirely fill back up over and over and over again can actually improve yer resilience and capacity . Dunno if that’s true though . ”.

​ I see, so your resilience improves by exhausting your supply, while your maximum capacity increases by storing it up… or something? Though she did say it might not be true

​ “So then, it’s just my guess but like… imagine heroes have like a hundred points . Wataru woulda split his half ‘n half between strength and magic yeah? But yers is more like all in on magic . Get it? It makes sense . ”.

​ “Yeah . Great job, Ichika . Your theory makes sense . ”.

​ “Also, Goshujin-sama, ya know how far you’ll be able to go usin’ magic yeah? Yer upper limit I mean . ”.

​ “…”.

​ Crap, I have no clue . I mean like, magic’s something that you can do anything with if you have the magical power for it, is that the upper limit?.

​ Isn’t that a contradictory question, like if you’re asked a [Yes] or [No] question like [Is your answer [No]?] . Whatever you answer could mean either

​ … Come to think of it, it was a fail, but I did try summoning Ichika with that [Summon Gargoyle] magic a while back, and even that should be possible if I’d reorganized it to be closer to [Teleport] or something . I just needed the magical power for it

​ “Not bein’ able to respond straight off is what I mean . To be honest, me, Gozoh, Wataru—none of us can figure out how strong yer magical power is, Goshujin-sama . ”.

​ “And physically?”.

​ “I could probably beat ya if ya didn’t wear a clothes golem . Ya’d probably even lose against a Pavueran punk . ”.

​ Oh . Alright then . Well, I’m confident in my magical ability so there’s that I guess

​ “Hey, am I actually pretty awesome?”.

​ “Yer just now gettin’ it?”.

​ Ichika spoke in amazement . It got me thinking

​ “But yeah… as far as battle’s concerned… Goshujin-sama, yer magical power’s just too much . If ya put it next to Igni’s magical power, yers would probably drown it completely? It’s like S-Rank with a good bit to spare . Ya’d get wrecked if ya didn’t have the clothes golem on, but with it… ya’d beat even B-Rank adventurers… yeah . ”.

​ Mulling it over for a moment, Ichika turned to me again

​ “Objectively lookin’, Goshujin-sama’s amazin’?”.

​ “O-Oh . ”.

​ I guess I am? I guess, since if not there’s no way I’d ever have something like a connection to B-Rank adventurers

​ … Though I guess it wasn’t just a connection, be it the dragon subjugation or Ontentoo

​ “So . Today’s dinner is meat from the great boar Meat-senpai and everyone hunted . Wataru sliced the meat suuuper thin and boiled it!”.

​ “Shabushabu1 huh . Is there any sauce?”.

​ By the way, this world has shabushabu too . It sounded like the god of food, Hero Ishidaka, made it well known… I wonder if he spread the concept of draining the animal’s blood first, too?.

​ Well, I guess it’s possible he didn’t . It’d be a profitable thing to keep close, after all

​ “… Is there a magic that can drain blood in one go?”.

​ “Huh? Why’d ya bring that up? That’d be super convenient . You can do it?”.

​ “Is it space-time magic, or water magic? Should the blood drain out of the body directly? Or maybe from its mouth… well, it might be impossible . ”.

​ “That’d kill a human straight off if ya used it on them… Goshujin-sama’s cruel . ”.

​ Don’t say that . It’s supposed to be a convenient magic, not some instakill magic

​ … I guess it’s just another example of it depending on how it’s used?.

 .

Chapter end