Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o! Volume 3 Chapter 3

Gifting the aristocratic lady with marriage!

Translator: Skythewood
Editor: Darkdhaos, RavenSlither

Part 1

“Hey, Aqua, don’t make me waste my breath every time and give up that seat. Since Darkness isn’t back, we won’t be doing quest today either. I need to design the merchandize to be displayed in Wiz’s shop, get out of my way.”

Hearing me say that, Aqua who was hogging the spot on the couch before the fireplace as usual squinted her eyes as she yawn and said:

“Why are you so irritable? You are too hysterical lately, you don’t need to act this way even though Darkness isn’t back yet alright? Enough about that… I heard that girl Yunyun said something to Megumin. You have to pay the adequate price for everything. If you want me to give this warm place to you, you have to give me something that satisfies me. Let me think, specifically speaking…”

Aqua paused and pondered for a moment.

“… If thou wish for the place the goddess resides… offer high class wine to me. Warm light will then shine a path for the lost NEET.”

I should give her a tight slap.

Megumin too, why was she teaching her unnecessary things.

“Hey, fallen goddess, if you have the time to ask for wine early in the morning, you should think of a way to make money. Really, why do I have to work so hard. I will work on the debts from blowing up the mansion of the landlord, you take care of the reparation for the flood. If you feel any guilt at all, then move aside.”

Hearing me address her as fallen goddess, Aqua looked at me with displeasure:

“Hey, stop giving weird names okay? Useless goddess, fallen goddess or whatever. If you keep addressing me as fallen goddess, you will suffer divine retribution okay? Like this incident with the landlord, it might be your punishment for not taking care of me, the goddess. Kazuma, if you feel bad about the way you are treating me, then say ‘sorry, beautiful Aqua-sama’, and offer high class wine to me. Go buy some, quick…”

“Steal.”

Seeing Aqua continuing to hog the couch and hugging her knees, I reached out a hand and said that.

With the sound of coins rustling, Aqua’s purse appeared in my outreach hand.

“… What are you doing, you thief! What you are doing is a crime, if I send you to the station, the delayed court date would be cancelled. Hee— Kazuma is a criminal—! Are you planning to buy wine with my money? What I meant is for you to use your own money…”

“Steal.”

Before Aqua finished, I used ‘steal’ on her.

In my hand was one of Aqua’s socks.

Aqua continue hugging her knees, moving the toes on her one bare leg intentionally in protest.

“… What are you doing, I will feel cold. Return my sock to me, pervert. If you don’t return it to me, I will tell the police that a pervert was panting excitedly after stealing my sock. If you understand…”

“Steal.”

I don’t know why Aqua was keeping this on her.

After using ‘steal’, some sort of seed appeared in my hand.

Aqua looked uneasy after seeing this.

“Neh neh, Kazuma. This kind of prank or joke isn’t funny, that’s not nice. I also went a bit too far, I will reflect on that. How about we both apologize and make up?”

“Steal.”

I toss the other sock that appeared in my hand onto the carpet.

I then said to Aqua slowly:

“… I will raise a large sum of money now. Didn’t you say your Hagoromo is a holy relic? Let me borrow it, I will sell it for you. If you don’t want me to take it by force, go to another room and take it off yourself… But you will probably say no, so I will just strip it away right here.”

I wiggled my fingers at Aqua to emphasize this, and she said with a stiff expression:

“What are you talking about? This hagoromo is proof of my godhood, how could you sell it, silly. This kind of joke isn’t funny…”

“Steal.”

“Ahhhh Kazuma-sama ahhhhh! I was wrong, it’s my fault, don’t, stop—!”

— Several minutes later.

“Woo… Sniff… Boohoo… Wahh…”

Aqua was still curled up on the couch like a ball, burying her face between her thighs.

As for her appearance…

— Aside from her bare feet, it was the same as usual.

“Damn it, why is your luck so strong during a time like this… Or rather, what are you doing with all this junk…”

The junk I stole from Aqua was scattered near my feet.

They looked like party trick items, like seeds, cups, marbles…

The carpet was filled with things you might find by turning out the pocket of a kid.

Because of this girl, I wasted lots of mana.

“Why are you so noisy this early in the morning, what is happening?”

I was still standing before the sniveling Aqua when Megumin came down the stairs in adventuring attire.

“Hick… Kazuma he… to pay back the debts… he says he will sell it… and strip me forcefully…”

“Hey, shut it, don’t create misunderstandings with your fragmented manner of speech! Yes, it’s my bad, I apologize, and don’t look at me like that, Megumin! I only wanted to sell her equipment away!”

Aqua sniveling, Megumin looking at me with disdain, this was a normal morning.

“Bad news, this is bad! Kazuma, bad news!”

Suddenly, a beautiful lady charged in and shattered the peaceful atmosphere.

Her dressing gave a pure impression, the expensive looking dress, white high heels, her head of long braided hair flows down her chest from one shoulder. She looks like a daughter of some noble family.

But her pure dressing couldn’t hide her alluring figure.

But this beauty I had never seen before was calling my name even though this was our first meeting.

“… Who are you?”

“Hmmm…? Eh…! Kazuma! Now is not the time to joke around! Can we play this game next time instead!?”

The pure beauty said something out of place with a blushing face, making me realize who she was.

“What, you are Darkness? You made us worry so much, you are finally willing to come back!”

Hearing me said that, Aqua who was sniveling cried out immediately:

“Waahhh! Darkness, Kazuma he—! Kazuma he wants to strip me, and sell my precious thing away…!”

“Hey! Putting it that way can cause misunderstandings easily, so shut it!”

As Aqua and I was squabbling, Megumin told Darkness:

“Welcome back Darkness. You don’t need to explain what happened. Here, take a nice long bath to soothe your body and soul.”

“…? Bath? What are you saying Megumin? Anyway, I am more interested in the special play Aqua mentioned…”

Darkness who was wearing a dress looked at me and Aqua with longing and anticipation.

“Are you still dreaming? Stop with the dream talk; just rest for today. It’s great that you are back. Listen to me, go take a warm bath and cry your heart out.”

“What are you talking about all this while! Why do I have to cry? And what’s with the bath… What is it, Aqua? Why are you pulling on my skirt?”

Aqua who stopped wailing and was tugging on Darkness’ white dress, confirming the material as she said:

“… This is definitely high quality material. This must be the bonus reward the landlord gave you.”

“Darkness… You worked so hard… In order to save me, it must had been hard on you…”

I told Darkness emotionally.

“Stupid! What are you people misunderstanding! The landlord didn’t do anything weird to me, this dress is mine! Why? You think I didn’t return earlier because I was being abused by the landlord!?”

“What else could it be? We were thinking how terrible they were treating you… But if this wasn’t given to you by the landlord, what is with this expensive dress? You say this belongs to you, is it for noble lady cosplay? Are you researching a type of play?”

“No! This, this is not cosplay! Sorry for making you worry. But that landlord didn’t have the guts to request anything rude from me… Forget about that, look at this!”

Darkness then handed an album thin booklet to me.

Instead of an album thin booklet, this was more like a…

“… What is this? Ohh, a handsome guy? How unpleasant.”

Looking at the photo of a bright and cheery man, I unconsciously tore…

“Ahhh! Look what you had done to themarriage interview photo! If you tear it like this, how will I reject the match make now!”

Hya!

“Ohh, sorry, I was careless! I don’t know why, but my hands moved unconsciously, I couldn’t control it… Wait, what matchmaking?”

I tilted my head confused with the photo in my hand.

“That’s right! That damn Alexei, using cheap tricks like that! I did promise to do anything, but my father will reject him if it was too offensive. I knew that, that’s why I promised him back then, but…”

The panicking Darkness said.

“Wait, slow down and speak clearly. Who is this handsome guy? And forcing you to marry someone you don’t like is clearly an unreasonable request right? Also, how is the landlord related to the handsome guy on this photo? Darkness, if you don’t want to, why not just ask your father to reject this? I will try to fix this photo. Aqua, could you get some rice for me?”

“Okay—”

Aqua ran off, and in order to calm Darkness who was about to cry, I ushered her to the couch.

“The one on the photo is Alexei’s son. That damn Alexei, he probably knew if he was the one to propose, he will definitely be rejected. But the only good point my father saw in Alexei is his son. How should I put this… The one most enthusiastic about the marriage is my father. But I don’t understand why Alexei wants his son to marry me…”

Darkness said as she sat on the couch and stared at the messy coffee table.

Aqua returned with bits of rice and sat besides Darkness, placing the photo on the table and repairing it.

Aqua used a corner of the table while my designs were for the merchandize to be displayed in Wiz’s shop were scattered on the other parts of the table. Darkness picked one up and asked curiously:

“… This is? The sketching on it is weird. What is this?

Megumin who was putting on her boots near the entrance answered:

“Actually, while Darkness was away, we had been brainstorming about ways to earn more money. These are convenient tools kazuma thought of. He is planning on selling it in Wiz’s shop.”

“Oh? Well, Kazuma has high luck stats. He might be well suited to do business.”

“Speaking about my luck, I am really doubtful about that. If my luck is so great, I should be able to meet comrades that are more useful. I wouldn’t get into debts, get entangled in troubling incident, and live a wonderful life.”

The three of them trembled when they heard me say that.

“I, I am troubled by matchmaking because I spoke up for Kazuma! No, I am not asking you to repay me or anything! We are comrades after all, the most important thing is to help each other! I had troubled you much, so it is only natural for me to help you!”

Darkness explains, but a drop of sweat drip down her cheek.

“I, I have a meeting with Yunyun later! Yes, that’s right! In order to prove Kazuma’s innocence, I am going to think of a plan together with Yunyun…!

Megumin averted her eyes and said so before the entrance.

So that’s where she was going.

“I will leave clearing Kazuma’s name as a suspect to them and clean the toilet! I don’t think it is dirty, but I am concerned with the toilet! Kitchen and baths, leave places that uses water to me!”

Stopping her work in repairing the photo, the goddess of toilets uses cleaning as an excuse to escape.

— As everyone was planning on running.

Darkness waved her hands, gesturing them to stay, and showed a sad face to us and said:

“What, what should I do. Actually… I didn’t came back this few days in order to stop the progression of the matchmaking session… I am here because of that too… The matchmaking will be this afternoon. There is no time left. Pardon me, but is there anyone who is willing to return with me to convince my father?”

Part 2

“… In short, Darkness’ father wants her to give up the dangerous job of adventurers, so he sends her to matchmaking sessions whenever he has the chance. But Darkness don’t plan on marrying yet and rejected all previous attempts.”

Megumin who had put on her boots said as she sat near the entrance.

Aqua continued to repair the photo on the table.

I wanted to repair the photo I tore myself, but since Aqua was happy to do so and was doing a great job, I decided to let her be.

This girl was talented in unnecessary things…

“… Yes, you are right. To be frank, I am very satisfied with my current life. If I continue my career, an evil mage or a minion of the demon king army might target me. I will resist til the very end, but still get captured by them in a miserable state. It will be terrible, I will be tied up in locks and chains, my clothes will be all tattered…! Ugh…! Sto… Stahp…!”

“I think you should retire and get married soon.”

Darkness was lost in her own fantasy, squirming about with a blushing face, making me back away from her.

Megumin shook the staff in her hand and said doubtfully:

“I see, the previous match making session was the request of Darkness’ father, so you can reject. But the matchmaking session was raised by the landlord, and you had already promised him to do him one favor. Darkness’ father is eager, the landlord is also eager, so you can’t reject it under such circumstances. But the landlord wants you by hook or by crook, why is he so obsess with Darkness? I don’t get why he wants you as a daughter-in-law either. With his status as landlord, if he really wants to , he can force Darkness to be concubine by force.”

Hearing what Megumin said, Darkness lowered her head.

She put her hands together before her chest, rubbed her fingers for a moment and finally said:

“… My, my real name is Dustiness fon Lalatina. I am… a daughter of a rather esteemed noble clan…”

“Ehhh!” x3

Seeing our surprised expression, Darkness flashed a lonely expression for a moment, and seemed sad.

She must have surprised many people before when she introduced herself.

“Dustiness…! That is not just rather esteemed, it’s a super powerful nobility clan! The top advisor in this nation, that Dustiness? In this town?”

Darkness answered the screaming Megumin softly:

“… Yes.”

Next, Aqua asked:

“What! So if I become a child of the Dustiness family, I can slack around all day and live an extravagant life?”

For Aqua who missed the important point, Darkness replied with a slightly troubled tone:

“Yes… But, our family is not looking to adopt…”

I retorted the most important point at the troubled Darkness.

“Darkness, you…! You are always saying things like ‘yeah’, ‘sure’, acting like a proper knight! But your real name Lalatina is so cute!”

“Don’t, don’t call me Lalatina…!”

Lalatina’s face turned red, and she shouted with tears in the corner of her eyes.

Megumin who stood up because she was too surprised sat down onto the carpet near the entrance and said:

“Well… This might be surprising, but Darkness is Darkness. For me, Darkness is a tough Crusader, an important comrade. That is all.”

When she heard Megumin said that, Darkness said with a happy expression:

“… Yes, please take care of me from now on too…”

She then smiled with relief.

Seeing their interaction, Aqua pointed at herself cheerfully:

“… Neh neh, I have something shocking to tell you okay? Well, I said this before, but you didn’t believe me… Actually, I am a goddess!”

“Wow, that’s great!” x2

“Why don’t you believe me—!”

Aqua grumbled as she started repairing the photo with rice again.

Seeing the three of them like this, I started thinking about something.

I see, a lot of things made sense now.

Like why Darkness knew less about the world than me and why she was wearing cosplay like attire that was so out of place.

The landlord wanted his son to marry Darkness was probably because of political reason.

There were people who wanted to at least live in the same house, even if they couldn’t get the girl themselves.

If I leave this alone, an important member in our party was going to be married off.

Important… member… hmmm?…… Hmmmm?

“We have to bring this photo back and convince Darkness’ father. Here, take a look. How is it? Isn’t the repair perfect?”

As I was deep in thought, thinking over something, Aqua handed the photo to me with a cocky face. The photo was as good as new, you couldn’t tell that it was torn before.

… Wait, Darkness was going to be married off?

This meant a crusader who couldn’t hit the enemy would have to leave the party because of marriage.

Retirement due to marriage… That’s right, a wonderful occasion.

I was not treating her like a useless child and chasing her away.

I didn’t hate Darkness.

She has some weird places, but she wasn’t a bad person.

But the prospect of our party wasn’t good and Darkness was an aristocratic lady, so was it fine tying her down as an adventurer?

—No, it’s not good.

If Darkness got married, her parents would feel at ease.

Actually, I was worried about Darkness too.

If on the off chance we made it to the demon king’s castle and ran into danger, this girl would definitely yell enthusiastically at us something like ‘Don’t worry about me, Just leave me here and go’.

After getting captured, she would be overjoyed, saying ‘Ugh…! Just kill me…!’ or something as she look forward to her mistreatment.

That’s right, in other words, this is a great idea that would gift everyone with happiness!

“Sigh… I must come up with a reason and return this photo to the other party. I will then apologize using this excuse and try to convince my father… That’s why, I hope someone can accompany me to do this…” Darkness looked at the repaired matchmaking photo in my hand and eased up as she requested us for help. And then…

“That’s ittttt—!”

“Ahhhh!” x3

I tore the photo in half.

Part 3

“I have to meet Yunyun, so I’m going now. I have an ominous feeling about what Kazuma is thinking about, will it be fine?… I’m leaving Darkness in your hands, alright?”

Megumin looked at me uneasily a few times, and left the place with a worried expression.

For me, Megumin going out was good.

Among Megumin, Aqua and Darkness, the hardest to handle would probably be Megumin.

“Ughhh… I worked so hard… to repair it…”

Aqua sat on the couch, throwing a tantrum because the photo she fixed was torn up again.

— As I watched Megumin left, I could feel a strong gaze on my back.

The gaze came from Darkness, she was glaring at me silently with tears in her eyes.

Aqua was also staring at me with tears.

How, how scary.

“Calm, calm down. This is for the best in the future.”

Hearing the excuse I made up on the spot, Darkness whose eyes were still teary asked:

“… How?”

I explained in detail to Darkness and Aqua.

Putting it simply, in order for her to continue her career as an adventurer, it would be better to attend a matchmaking session now.

This might be with the landlord’s son this time, but even if this one is rejected, Darkness’ father will arrange another one in no time.

Will Darkness need to reject them one at a time?

If Darkness’ father couldn’t take it anymore, he might adopt tougher measures.

If that was the case, Darkness should accept it this one time, and mess up the event utterly. That was my suggestion.

Although I suggest utter destruction, there was no need to go so far as to tarnish Darkness’ family name, she just need to force the other party to give up by themselves.

That way, Darkness’ parents would be more prudent about arranging the next matchmaking session.

After all, it would be embarrassing for the family if the other party rejects them every time.

And of course, Aqua and I would be accompanying her under the guise of house help.

We will assist Darkness secretly to make the other party dislike her.

And the target this time was the infamous landlord’s family after all.

Even though messing up this session to discourage Darkness’ father would have negative impact on her family name, it would be less damaging than doing so compared to matchmaking with a fine aristocratic clan.

— After the two of them heard my explanation…

“That, that’s it Kazuma! Let’s use this plan! If this works, I won’t need to go home and beat down my father every time he arrange a session.”

Her, her father was really pitiful…

“I get it, this is a great plan! I thought you will say ‘if one of the problem children marries off, you can find a new member and relax, yahoo—!’ or something like that!”

Aqua’s words made me shiver.

“No, no way! How could I bear letting such an excellent crusader like Darkness leave?… Don’t do that, don’t look at me with eyes like that, I am half serious about this alright…”

Part 4

Dustiness mansion.

This building situated in the main street of the town had an appearance befitting a grand aristocratic family.

“Is this true? Can we really do this, Lalatina? Are you willing to consider this matchmaking session seriously?”

Lalatina… I mean, Darkness’ dad held Darkness hand as he said excitedly.

This is the Darkness’ home, situated right in this town, and we are inside the building.

Darkness just told her dad that she was willing to go for the matchmaking session.

“It’s true, dear father. Lalatina wants to try it.”

When we heard Darkness said that, Aqua and I lowered our head.

“Neh neh, Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san, she said ‘dear father’.”

“Are, are you stupid, Lalatina is more funny, she called herself ‘Lalatina’.”

Looking at lady Lalatina talking in a different manner than usual, Aqua and I whispered to each other, our shoulders shaking as we tried to hold back our laughter, earning the glare from the red faced lady.

When Darkness’ dad saw us like this, he felt a bit suspicious.

“Lalatina, who are these two guest?”

Hearing him ask this, Darkness extended his hand toward Aqua and I.

“These two are my adventuring companions. For this matchmaking session, I wish to employ them as temporary butler and maid to join me for the event.”

Her dad frowned and seemed uneasy about this.

“Erm… about that…”

That won’t do.

I took a step forward, put one hand on my chest and stood up straight.

“Pleased to meet you. I am adventurer Satou Kazuma, I have been in the care of lady Lalatina. If the matchmaking is a success, we probably won’t be able to meet lady Lalatina because of our difference in status. I know we are flaunting the rules a little, but for this very last moment, we wish to stay by lady Lalatina’s side, and see for ourselves if we can entrust our important companion to the groom.”

Without any stuttering, I state my piece fluently and bowed.

I am so cool right now.

If I could marry the lady away, I felt I could achieve anything.

Seeing me act so differently, Darkness and Aqua were stunned.

— The maids brought us to the meeting room.

“Please wait for a moment. We will prepare the attire for our honored guests.”

The maids ushered us to sit at the couch and served us tea. After inviting us to ‘enjoy the tea’, they left the room.

As expected of a meeting room for a grand aristocratic family.

It looked plain at first sight, but it was obvious that it cost a lot of money to maintain the appearance of nobles.

We waited obediently for a while, but got bored easily.

Unable to sit still, we wandered around the meeting room, picking up and observing the decorations.

I don’t have an eye for appraising things, but every one of these had to be expensive pieces.

For example, the painting hung on this wall.

At a glance, it looked like a child’s scribbling, but it should be those so called modern art pieces.

I rubbed my chin as I looked at the painting, mumbling a little as I act as if I am appreciating this painting.

“Kazuma, you really like that graffiti huh?”

Aqua who didn’t knew about art told me when she saw me admiring that art piece.

“Hey, how uncultured. This is what you call modern art, those who understand will know how wonderful it is. It must be a work of a master painter.”

Listening to my bullshit, Aqua said on casually from the couch:

“But in the eyes of me who has learned about painting, that is just a normal graffiti.”

I shrugged and shook my head at Aqua:

“Well, being able to paint and the ability to appraise are two different matters. Look at this part, it might look like scribbling at first, but if you…”

As I was making up nonsense in my explanation to Aqua, Darkness walked into the meeting room.

“Sorry for the wait, you… Hey Kazuma, that is a painting of my father by me when I was young. Father really like this painting, so he hung it here to show it off to the guests. Don’t stare at it, it makes me feel embarrassed… Hey, what are you doing! Don’t pull my hair!”

As Aqua was laughing at me deviously, I tugged on Darkness’ plaited hair. At this moment, the maid entered the room carrying clothes for a butler and a maid.

“Kazuma-san, this is the attire for a butler. The size should be just right, please try it on.”

I received the clothes from the maid and followed her into the dressing room next door.

… Yeah, it fits perfectly.

“It looks good.”

Hearing me said that, the maid bowed and retreated to a corner of the room.

— I succeeded in getting Darkness’ dad to hire me as a temporary butler and returned to Darkness after putting the attire of a butler.

Aqua who was already in maid attire was there.

Unexpectedly, the pure dressing of a maid suits her well.

“Aqua, you look nice in it. Right now, you look like a top class minion.”

“You too Kazuma, you look just like a try hard apprentice butler, great. It’s like you will be bullied by mean senpais and will cry by yourself in a corner, really great.”

“Ara, what an interesting way of putting it. If we were not in the mansion of a grand noble right now, I would have given you a piece of my mind… Well then, are you ready, lady Lalatina?”

“Don’t, don’t call me lady Lalatina! Just addressing me as ‘my lady’ will do if others are around!”

Darkness barked at me flusteredly.

The meeting will be held in this mansion.

And Darkness’ dad asked for my help.

He actually asked me.

He asked for my assistance to stop his daughter from doing anything rude during the meeting.

Not just that.

He was also willing to pay me for my efforts if the meeting goes smoothly.

Not only did our interest coincide, he even threw in gratuity rewards as a bonus.

It would be hard for me not to be fired up.

If the son of the landlord was incapable, I would join in the disruption of the meeting. But if he was just a bit annoying, I would still close an eye on that matter.

“The two of you, this way. Listen carefully! You know what to do right? I’m counting on you!”

Darkness had an uneasy expression as she led us to the entrance to receive the other party of the matchmaking session.

With maids from the Dustiness house flanked her on either side, Darkness looked the part of a lady from a noble house.

On the way to the entrance, Aqua used her sharp eyes and searched for valuable exhibits.

“Oh, that one looks rather…”

Aqua looked at an urn with a handle as if she was looking at something special.

Be it the value of this urn or the worthlessness of the graffiti from earlier, this girl had great artistic sense.

I was curious about the urn Aqua was looking at and lift it up.

It was heavy.

“Is this expensive? How much is this worth?”

“Hey… Don’t touch the things over here, that is my father’s expensive urn…”

Darkness reached out for the handles of the urn I had picked up.

“According to my brilliant appraisal, this urn is…”

Phuck!

“Ah!” x2

With a clear crack, along with our shout, only the handle remained in Darkness’ hands.

“… This urn is now a piece of trash.”

“What, what should we do! This is my father’s precious collection, what should we do!”

Darkness started to panic with the broken handle in her hands.

“Calm, calm down! You dad is not here right now! There are two solution! First is to admit it when the matchmaking people are here. That way, your father won’t become angry before the guest! Number two! Use rice or something to make emergency repairs, and place the urn in a position that will easily fall if your dad picks it up!”

“I, I got it, we will do that! As expected of Kazuma, how quick witted! Even if I admit it before the guests, he will still lecture me after they leave! We will do temporary repairs, put it in a position that will fall easily, and instruct the househelp not to touch it, that’s the best way!”

When she heard my conversation with Darkness, the Dustiness maid said:

“… Excuse me, honored guest… Please don’t teach our young lady such things…”

Part 5

— The servants formed a row before the entrance with Darkness and her dad right in the middle.

Aqua and me stayed on either side of Darkness.

I suddenly noticed that I had not seen Darkness’ mom. But now is not the time for that.

The other party will be arriving soon.

“But… To think that you will agree to this matchmaking, I am really happy… when Alexei said he had something to discuss with me, I was thinking what it was about. He was confident you wouldn’t reject too. Leaving Alexei aside, his son is a good man. You will have a wonderful life with him, Lalatina.”

Darkness’ dad said to her happily.

But Darkness replied:

“How mean, dear father. Lalatina only said she will seriously consider about the marriage, fufufu… After thinking it through, I think it is still too early for me to marry. It’s too late now. I agreed to the matchmaking session, but I didn’t say I want to marry! I will mess up this meeting. I will utterly destroy the matchmaking meeting! Hmm hahahaha!”

Darkness felt there was no need to act anymore and revealed her true nature!

Her dad turned pale as he realized our true intent…

“Could, could it be the reason the two of them are here is to…!”

Her dad looked at us in fear.

Oh no, Darkness was so excited she forgot about keeping her family name untarnished.

At this late juncture, she probably didn’t care anymore.

If that was so, I had no need to continue acting.

“… My lady, your choice of words are too crude, please don’t speak in such a way.”

When they heard me said that, Darkness and her dad looked at us in surprise.

Aqua seemed to like her maid attire a lot, swaying her skirt around happily as she ignored the tense atmosphere.

After understanding my true intent, Darkness’ expression turned sour. Her father blinked away tears of joy, looking at me as if I was the messiah.

“Kazuma, you, you…! What is this, are you planning to betray me?”

“There is no betrayal to speak of, my lady. Right now, I am Dustiness’ butler, and my greatest wish is for my lady to achieve happiness.”

Her father sighed in relief and replied:

“You, you are Kazuma right? Even if this matchmake fails… at least, don’t let Lalatina do anything disgraceful before the other party! I will reward you well! So, so…!”

Before her father could even finished, I bowed deeply.

“Please leave it to me, old master. I will aid my lady with all I can…”

— At this moment.

The door of the mansion opened with a crack, and the man I saw in the photo appeared at the door.

He had an entourage with him.

Darkness was bent on making the first move, crossing her arms, glaring at the other party as she said loudly!

“You are the brat who is meeting with me right? I’m Dustiness fon Lalatina! You can call me Queen Dustiness…”

“Ara, watch out my lady! There’s a bug on the back of your head!”

I hit the back of Darkness’ head hard!

Part 6

After I stopped Darkness from making a scene.

We excused ourselves saying that we want to check if the bug stung the lady and moved to the room next door. Darkness’ father accompanied the guest to buy time.

“Hey, what are you thinking! Aren’t you here to help me?”

Darkness grabbed my back collar and dragged me to the corridor.

Aqua who still didn’t understand what was happening followed beside Darkness. She seemed to like stroking Darkness’ plaited hair, toying with it in her hand.

— Right now, Darkness was interrogating me.

“Anyway, calm down my lady. You had forgotten about something important.

“Don’t call me lady when it’s just the three of us!… What is that important thing?”

Darkness regained her composure, her attitude had softened enough to listen to me.

“You forgot the part about not tarnishing your family’s reputation. If you make too big a mess, you will be the one who will be hurt the most.”

Darkness frowned when she heard me said that.

“How would I be hurt? If the negative news spread, I won’t be able to marry and can continue my adventuring career without worries! The worse case would be my father disowning me, I am already prepared for that… After being disowned, I will feel uneasy about my uncertain future… Despite that, I still did my best to survive and took on jobs too hard for me. In the end, my body won’t be able to take it and I will get captured by the minions of the demon king army, and be ravaged…! …… I want to live a life like that.”

“So you finally admit it.”

After expressing her wish that was incredible in some ways, the young lady continued:

“And that guy is not my type. The guys my father wants to set me up with are all bad.”

I was confused when she said that.

But that guy was a handsome guy.

“Is that guy as bad as you say? According to your father’s description, he sounds like an okay guy. But I only know what he looks like though.”

Darkness replied to my question:

“That guy is Alexei Barnes Walther. He is talented and looked nothing like the landlord. The citizens give rave reviews about him, he is a cheerful man.”

Aqua gave her comments too:

“Speaking of Walther from the Alexei family, everyone in the town of Axel has nothing but praise for him. He distribute items to help the poor, I had received it a few times too.”

You, you…

Hearing Aqua say that, Darkness said unhappily:

“That’s not good! My father doing that is enough! How can a noble who wants to marry me do such a thing!”

“Is, is that so? Ah, could it be that he does charity on the surface, but does evil deeds in the dark? If that is so, I will feel bad even if I didn’t know about this…”

He was that landlord’s son after all, I was too rash. As I was feeling a bit remorseful, Darkness said:

“There’s no such thing! First of all, I heard that guy has excellent character. He won’t get angry with anyone, and won’t lecture his staff when they make mistakes. He will think together with them why such errors occurs, a weird person…”

…? That sounds like a great guy.

“And he is very hardworking, studying everyday in order to help the people with his knowledge. He is smart and great in swordsmanship, the youngest knight ever in history. I have never heard anything negative about him, a real perfect man. He also advises his father often, pleading him to change the harsh policies.”

……

“Neh, from what I am hearing, isn’t he the perfect man? Which part are you unhappy about, Darkness?”

Aqua asked confusedly.

“Which part am I unhappy about? Everything! First, nobles should have the behaviour of a noble, and wear a sinister smile at all time! When we met just now, what is with his clear and forthcoming eyes? It should be more like… like Kazuma’s lecherous gaze when I walked around with loose clothes in the mansion, eyes that want to rape every inch of my body!”

“No, no, no, I don’t! I, I, I am not looking at you with such eyes!”

As I was hiding my guilty conscience, Darkness continued:

“He doesn’t get mad when his staff screws up? Is he an idiot? If a maid make a mistake, then he should do this and that to her using that excuse, that’s the proper way for a noble! That man doesn’t know anything, his staff make mistakes because they want to be scolded! As a noble, he should have the guts to make all the maids pregnant!”

“You are the only one that thinks so.”

But Darkness ignored my retort and clenched her fist as if she couldn’t endure it anymore, and said passionately:

“Simply put, the type I like is the total opposite of that man who will achieve great things even if I leave him alone! He must not be too eye catching, either too fat or too skinny will do. It would be best if he loves me but has a weak will, lusting after other girls if they are a bit kind to him. A mandatory criteria will be having a lecherous look and is horny all year round. If he looks down on the hardship of life and just want to live his life easily like a trash will be great. If he has debts, that’s even better! He also has to drink all day and refuse to work, always grumbling that ‘this is the fault of society’. He will then hit me with empty beer bottles and tell me: ‘Hey Darkness, use your slutty body to earn back some cash!’… Hmmm…!”

After speaking her mind, our lady Depravetina blushed and trembled.

Damn, this woman was beyond redemption.

In this uneasy atmosphere, Aqua and I stood in place silently.

“… Enough! I will destroy this meeting myself! Kazuma, be prepared for the consequences if you get in my way!”

After saying that, Darkness walked out of the room angrily.

Aqua and I remained silent for a while.

Finally, Aqua said to me accusingly:

“…Kazuma, what are you planning?”

I said to Aqua:

“You saw her dad’s face too right, he is really worried about his daughter’s future. You heard how the other party’s reputation was right? This is not a political marriage, but a father who wish for the happiness of his daughter, a carefully planned meeting.”

“What then? Even if it was Darkness’ father, he has no right to decide her life…”

Aqua said strongly.

But I didn’t let her finish.

“Darkness is a noble. Isn’t it normal for her not to be able to decide her own marriage? For aristocrats, they live a life of luxury and receive elite education… it’s hard to tell from how Darkness looks though. Since they depend on the taxes of the commoners for a living, it’s normal for their life to have less freedom. Living a luxurious life from birth and wanting the freedom to decide their own life, that is just being willful… She already had it good living such a carefree life all this while. And the one she is marrying is a perfect man. If you still want to be picky about it, it will incur the wrath of the people.”

After hearing my long speech, Aqua seemed unconvinced.

“… But! That is still too much!”

“That’s not all.”

Aqua stopped when I said that.

“… Eh?”

I gestured for Aqua to squat down.

I then asked her with a very serious expression:

“Aqua. Our objective is to defeat the demon king and return home. But what are Darkness’ wishes?”

Aqua squatted down like me, she didn’t think I will ask her this so seriously, confusing her.

“Well, erm… To not marry and continue adventuring with us…”

Aqua gave a harmless answer which made me shout:

“Wrong! I don’t want to listen to such pleasantries! You know the truth! Hurry! Don’t be shy, say it, say it out loud! I want you to say it! Let me see what expression you will make when saying it!”

“To, to be kidnapped by a strong monster she couldn’t win, and let the enemy do erotic things to her!… Ka, Kazuma, that is sexual harassment right? Neh, is this sexual harassment?”

I continued saying to Aqua who was on the verge of tears:

“This is not sexual harassment! Listen well, if you are a moron, that girl is a super moron beyond redemption! Her dream is to be kidnapped by monsters and have perverted things done to her? Stupid! Go, tell her dad about this! If you can, then do it! Tell him his daughter has a grand dream, so he has to forget about marrying her off and let her realize her ambition. Explain to her dad right now!”

“I am sorry! I can’t say it! Sorry!”

Aqua who apologized in a panic said timidly:

“But… But are you certain the right choice is for her to marry that person? Darkness should have her own preference for type of men.”

“Are you are saying something stupid like the other party is pitiful because he is not her type? Darkness said what type of men she likes, you heard it too. If Darkness found her ideal partner and he is exactly as she described, what are you going to do about it? Listen, just force her onto that Walther character… He is a good guy after all, so we can trouble him a little. Darkness can be rash at times, so we should let that guy tie her down and watch over her. From what I just heard, Walther is different from his father, and is a warm and gentle person. If that is so, he might agree to Darkness going out for adventures occasionally. We can then accompany her and do quest from time to time. Her dad would be at ease, and I can relax, Darkness won’t partake in quest that is too dangerous; more importantly, I can get rid of one of the three problem children.”

“The three problem children you just mentioned, are you referring to me?”

I lift my fist and stood up.

“In the end, Adventuring is not a career you can pursue forever! This job that borders on the edge of darkness, if I can quit then I should quit! Or rather, I am ready to quit anytime! Let’s make it clear, that girl is an idiot! I will support her if she wants to continue being an adventurer, but I must emphasise that she is an idiot! Others shouldn’t interfere in her family matters, but my goal is for Darkness to marry off successfully! If that don’t work, I aim to at least protect the reputation of the Dustiness clan,  so she can marry and retire at any time!”

“Wait Kazuma! Answer my question!”

Part 7

“Pardon me for the long wait.”

“We are back.”

When Aqua and I returned to the entrance, Darkness and her dad was still chatting happily with Walther. Darkness was glancing uneasily at us who was standing beside her.

“I know how Kazuma feels about this. I also wish for Darkness to marry someone she likes, but after hearing what you said, I think it would be terrible if that happens.”

“I’m glad you understand. Listen, you just act by your own judgement. Try to help from the side so Darkness can leave a great impression on the other party, okay?”

I am not sure if Darkness heard what we said, she lowered her voice and whispered into my ear:

“… Hey, for your own good, give it up. If not, you will experience something so bad that you will wish you were dead.”

What is she talking about, that is too scary.

But threats won’t work on me now.

Because I have the backing of someone more powerful than Darkness.

That’s right…

“Pardon my interruption, old master. Can we start the meeting between the young lady and master Walther? The young lady has been looking impatient for a while now.”

Hearing me say that, Darkness ground her teeth in protest for my proposal.

Her dad didn’t notice Darkness’ reaction, accepting my suggestion readily.

Darkness’ dad didn’t seem to mind me whacking the back of Darkness’ head in order to shut her up.

He seemed to think I did a good job and sighed in relief.

This mean I have the approval of her dad, and won’t get lectured if I go a bit too far.

“Well then, Mr Walther, this way please. Lalatina, come with us too. Let’s go to the meeting room.”

Darkness squatted down when she heard her father say that.

“My heels seemed to have broke… Mr Walther, can you lend me a hand?”

Darkness reached out to Walther as she said that.

She probably want to avoid me hitting her head as Darkness spoke in a normal lady like manner.

But this is strange, she must be up to something.

I reached out immediately.

“Young lady, allow me. No matter how much you admire master Walther, you aren’t engaged yet, so you can’t trouble him like this. My apologies master Walther, the young lady is really happy ahhh Owww owww owww it’s breaking breaking please don’t joke with me, wait, stop, please stop, I’m telling you to knock it off young lady!”

I blinked away the tears after I shook off the hand that was crushed by Darkness with her full strength.

This, this girl, if I didn’t stop her, she would have done that to Walther!

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Seeing me squatted down while favoring my right hand painfully, Walther was worried and asked.

What a great guy. Please, just marry and take this mad dog with you okay?

“Fufufu, it’s nothing. Let us be off, Mr Walther.”

Darkness moved briskly away, I could only see her off while squatting down, waiting for Aqua to heal me with magic.

When her father saw us, he put his hand together and lowered his head in apology, he felt bad about this.

“— Well then, let me introduce myself properly once more. I am Alexei Barnes Walther, son of the Alexei family, my job is to assist my father in managing the territory.”

Darkness and Walther sat facing each other with the white coffee table of the guest room between them.

Walther was a cool and stylish man.

He was one head taller than me.

He probably trained regularly, his solid muscles were visible through his clothes, and he was adequately lean.

Walther smiled gently as he looked at Darkness.

Aqua and I were beside Darkness, a little bit too close to her.

Walther seemed bothered by us, but since Darkness’ dad didn’t say anything, he didn’t say anything about it.

“I am Dustiness fon Lalatina. I don’t think I need to introduce my family. Even the son of some upstart landlord should know ahhhhh!”

Darkness who was speaking ill right from the get go trembled with her face red.

“Are, are you okay?”

Walther asked with concern, but Darkness continued:

“I, I’m fine… It’s just that seeing Mr Walther’s face is making me uncomfort nnnnnhhhh—!”

Before finishing, Darkness lowered her head to the table with her ears red.

“Young lady Darkness’ tummy had been acting up since morning. Isn’t that right, Darkness?! Don’t push yourself if your stomach hurts.”

“Huh? No, I’m not…!”

Darkness denied as Aqua tried to make an excuse for her.

Leaving Aqua who was making matters worse aside, I said:

“The young lady was eager to meet Mr Walther since early morning, she was a little too excited. As you can see, the young lady is so shy that her face is all red.”

“Er, well, her face is really red… it’s a little embarrassing…”

I stepped harder with my foot, and whispered in a volume only Darkness could hear.

— I twisted my foot that was stepping on Darkness under the table.

“… Hey, young lady, I will step harder if you say any more nonsense.”

I wasn’t sure she heard what I said, but Darkness’ face became red and she started panting as she said softly:

“… What, what a wonderful reward…”

Our young lady was acting as usual.

When he saw the way his daughter was acting, Darkness’ dad seemed to understand what the situation was like under the table.

Since he could grasp the situation, that meant he knew about his daughter’s fetish.

I wanted to scream at him for letting her daughter go astray, but there’s no time for that now.

To cover for me and Darkness, her dad brought up a topic to chat with Walther.

“Mr Walther, I heard your mansion was destroyed not long ago. Where are you living right now? How about bunking in my place? Of course, you have to sleep in a different room from my daughter.”

Darkness’ father said half jokingly, and Walther answered with a smile:

“Hahaha! No, if I am to live under the same roof with the beautiful lady Lalatina, it would take tremendous self restraint to stop myself…”

And so, as Darkness was trembling with her face blushed, the two of them conversed idly…

Part 8

— After saying ‘an old man staying around would only be a hindrance’, Darkness’ dad took his leave.

As he was leaving, he whispered in my ear ‘I’m counting on you.’.

Right now, Darkness and Walther was strolling in the Dustiness family courtyard with Aqua and I in tow… And it was grand, as expected of a famous aristocratic clan.

The vast courtyard had a pond, and colourful flowers were blooming despite it being winter. These were probably high quality breeds.

Aqua whistled and clapped when she saw the fishes in the pond.

I was curious about what she was doing and looked, and saw the school of fishes gathering towards Aqua…

… That is amazing, I will get her to teach me later.

“Lady Lalatina, what are your hobbies?”

As I was focused on the pond, Walther asked something that was obligatory and harmless during matchmaking.

“I hunt Goblins when I am free…. Ughh!”

When Darkness said something thoughtless, I elbowed her waist from the side.

Walther smiled wryly, tilting his head as he asked me who was unnaturally close to Darkness:

“… The two of you seemed to be really close.”

My face turned pale and I thought that this was it.

Oh no, I overdid it, I became a factor that dragged Darkness’ image down.

It must feel awkward to see the butler and the lady so close together during a matchmaking session.

As I was thinking about how to tide this over, Darkness who noticed this smiled at me deviously.

What is this girl scheming…?

“I am very close to this butler Kazuma, we spend everyday together. Be it meals or bathing, even sleeping at night is…. is…… Ugh……”

Darkness who said something foolish on impulse couldn’t continue and blushed.

Really, what was with your standard for embarrassment?

“The young lady loves to joke. That’s the way she is, a cute girl who get embarrassed by the thing she herself was saying. Right, young lady Lalatina. What’s the matter, young lady Lalatina? You face is getting red, young lady Lalatina.”

“Ugh… You, I will get you for this…”

Hearing me repeating the cute name Lalatina, Darkness ground her teeth with tears in her eyes.

Good, she won’t act up for a while.

Seeing our interaction, Walther had a slightly lonely smile:

“… You are close to each other… it is making me envious.”

“Please don’t joke with us, Mr Walther. This is just a mistress and her butler playing around a little…”

Darkness suddenly stepped away from me when she heard me say that.

Ohh?

“I don’t want to beat around the bush anymore! I can’t take this!”

I don’t know what she was thinking when Darkness tore the skirt of her dress.

Her white thigh was visible from the torn portion, showing Darkness alluring body in plain sight.

Perv-ness tore her skirt to an easy to move length, she then tore a line up the side of her skirt.

Walther couldn’t help averting his eyes as Darkness shouted at him:

“Hey, you are called Walther right? Since you are a knight, you should know how to use a sword! My job is a crusader, let’s go to the dojo, I will appraise your capability there. Come, follow me!”

Darkness acted impulsively all of a sudden and I couldn’t stop her.

“… Walther, take a good look at that man. As a noble, you should learn that lecherous eyes from Kazuma, and use it everyday!”

I I I, I didn’t look!

I only glance over a little because of curiosity!

Part 9

“We fight until one party surrenders. Just try to make me say ‘I can’t fight anymore’, or ‘please stop hitting me’! If you can do that, I can marry you or follow you anywhere!”

Darkness brought us to the dojo.

In the center of the dojo, Darkness tossed a wooden sword to Walther.

Walther caught the wooden sword and swung it with a troubled face, saying:

“Erm… Lady Lalatina, I am a knight. Even if this is just training, I can’t point a sword at a lady…”

Hearing Walther say that, Darkness frowned and said unhappily:

“What a gutless fellow. Kazuma that is standing right there claims to be gender equality advocate, he even announced that he would not hesitate drop kicking woman. You should learn from him.”

Walther looked at me when Darkness said that. His gaze felt painful.

Next, Walther seemed to had make up his mind, and said with a sigh:

“… I understand. To be honest, my father forced me to come, and I am here to reject the marriage… But after seeing you, I changed my mind. You are different from the other daughters of nobility, as expected of the only daughter of the national chief advisor. You seemed to have a bold personality, but get embarrassed by your own words, that’s really cute. Your way of speaking is straightforward, and is not haughty towards the butler serving you, treating him as an equal. I am very interested in you… I’m coming, lady Lalatina!”

After the sudden confession, he slashed at Darkness!

The quick slash disarmed Darkness’ wooden sword and hit her shoulder.

Seeing that the attack was a success, Walther sighed in relief, thinking that victory was a sure thing.

But Darkness picked up her wooden sword and said nonchalantly:

“Very good, next. Come at me bro.”

— After more than thirty minutes.

“Enough! The match is obviously over! Why aren’t you giving up!”

Despite Walther having the advantage, it sounded as if he was forced into a corner.

In terms of capability, Walther was dominating.

Since the start, Darkness’ wooden sword couldn’t touch Walther. Darkness was hit multiple times and was bruised all over.

But other than being out of breathe, Darkness was fine and her eyes were full of life.

Her fiery red cheeks covered in sweat, Darkness yelled:

“What’s the matter? Don’t be shy, attack with everything you have got! Show me your determination to persevere to the end!”

Seeing Darkness act this way, Walther tossed his wooden sword away.

He then raised both his arms in surrender.

“… I give up, lady Lalatina. It’s my loss. Even if my skills are better than you, I am not as strong as you mentally… I can’t attack you anymore. You… are a strong person.”

Walther looked at Darkness with a dazed look and smiled.

Darkness seemed unsatisfied and shrugged.

“… That’s it? Boring. Come back after you train more.”

Hearing Darkness said that, Walther laughed out loud.

He was laughing happily with no regrets

Walther then said in a volume Darkness couldn’t hear…

“… I have really, fallen for you…”

He mumbled.

— On the surface, it was a beautiful story of Darkness winning over Walther with her determination.

But I knew how Darkness really was, so I couldn’t feel good about this…

In Walther’s point of view, Darkness panting and red cheeks look like a crusader enduring incredible pain.

Darkness was still out of breathe as Aqua came to her side to heal her wounds.

I sighed deeply, but Darkness picked up the wooden sword Walther tossed aside…

“Come, Kazuma. Show Walther your merciless and despicable side, let him learn.”

After saying some dumb stuff, she gave the wooden swords to me who was sitting at a corner of the dojo.

… What is this girl saying.

No, she just had a fight with Walther, she was probably still feeling the adrenaline rush.

What a joke, I don’t want to deal with her.

“…  I want to see it too. How the one lady Lalatina trust so much fight.”

Walther added unnecessarily.

Aqua who had healed Darkness grunted ‘Oh?’, and was very interested in the turn of event.

… What’s with this?

“Sigh… never mind, I get it. The matchmaking is a failure anyway. And you probably won’t spread disparaging rumours about the young lady anyway.”

I stopped my act before Walther, spoke like I usually do and stood up.

“Great, that’s the spirit Kazuma! I had always wanted to spar with you! A despicable man who dare steal the underwear of a girl you just met! Unscrupulous, using all sort of dirty tricks! Come at me, don’t hold anything back!”

After hearing what Darkness said, the gaze from Walther felt even more painful.

I had no intention of fighting this excited moron in such cold weather.

— I reached my empty hand out…

“Create water!”

And poured water on top of Darkness’ head.

“Eh?”

Walther sounded surprised, and I asked in confusion:

“?… What’s wrong?”

Walther answered in a panic:

“… It’s, it’s nothing, just that a match with wooden swords usually won’t allow magic…”

Huh? I see.

Anyway…

When Aqua saw Darkness’ appearance, she said:

“… How strong— as expected of Kazuma-san who is the best in sexual harassment, he is good—”

Prompted by her, I looked towards Darkness. Her underwear was visible through her soaked clothes, couple that with her torn dress, this is really… candy for the eye.

As for Walther, he couldn’t look at Darkness anymore. He lowered his head, not daring to lift it up.

“Fu, fufu… Observe, Walther! In a spar with wooden swords, he will suddenly humiliate me with such tricks. Witness how this man really is!”

The soaked Darkness said something that might cause misunderstanding.

“I, I didn’t mean to do that…! Ah— I don’t care anymore!”

She want me to not hold back? Then I will do everything I can.

I already used magic, doing it again should be fine!

“Freeze!”

“Ugh&hel

Chapter end