Imperfect Desires Chapter 77 - From His Heart

Every storm in life passes with time except for those storms that had brewed within our hearts. Those storms tend to bury themselves deep in our bones in silence. But a single tickle of sound is all it takes for those raging storms to start all over again. However, whether those storms pass or stay, we are called humans because we have a strong sense of survival. 

Haruki Murakami once said, 'One thing is certain. When you walk out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in.'

And that is the real truth. Because words often can't teach us what a single storm can. But trust me, a storm can't break you as words can.

Xiu was once broken by words and she chose to embrace the silence of death. She chose to leave the world with her imperfect desires and her imperfect self. However, heaven had bestowed her with some mercy. Whatever the reason might be, but she was offered another chance. 

She was given a chance to live the life of another.

But heaven didn't seem to have any mercy for Darren. He watched her dying right in front of his eyes. She took her last breath with her hand in his. How tormenting and traumatizing it was, only he knew himself. 

Xiu broke her every connection that could lead her to the life Chen Xiu lived. She spent five years just trying to become Bai Xiu. A new version of herself. 

But Darren had been stuck at where she left. He had spent five years in agony. He neither could get over her nor move on. He couldn't even lose his feelings for her. No matter how hard he tried he still couldn't walk away from her memories. Nevertheless, he had to do what was best. He had to smile for everyone.

Clutching his chest, he was sobbing unceasingly all alone behind the curtain of the dark rainy night. Lashes heavy with tears and no one to hear the howls of his misery. That once burning pain of his had turned into an icy numbness with time. But there was still that rawness in his crying and pain.

He still held her last note in his hands. He had kept it safe for all this time. Looking at it, he hiccuped and said, "You always said you wanted a dramatic exit from this world. A dramatic, tragic, saddening and unforgettable exit. Are you happy to have your unforgettable ending?"

That's what Xiu really loved in life. She always loved the stories that ended in tragedies. According to her, they were closer to reality. Even though she wished for a happy ending in life but she always used to say that happy endings don't leave that long lasting effect. Being an actress for life gave her a desire for a dramatic twist. Who knew, she was her own dramatic twist.

'She had left without a warning

She wore the cloak of a grave

with a goodbye

Life was so precious to her that 

it made one wonder the depth of 

her pain.

She was gone too fast

leaving the memories of past

He couldn't hold her in the darkness of life

But he couldn't let her leave from his heart.'

In the empty apartment, the sound of his cellphone made him open his eyes back to the harsh reality. Getting up, he wiped his face, came out to the sitting area and drank a mouthful of water before accepting the call.

"Why are you calling me so late at night?" 

The other side was silent for a moment before replying, "Huang Ming is getting married next week."

Darren rubbed his forehead and asked, "Didi, you're calling me at this time of the night just to tell me that one of YOUR friends is getting married?" He emphasized on 'your' on purpose since his own friend circle wasn't as active as one would think of it to be.

"Daz, whatever is mine is yours. That means my friends are also yours. Also, he specially asked me to invite you." Dylan replied keeping his voice bright and cheery. When Darren didn't speak for a long moment, he added, "Daz, are you crying?"

"No," Darren replied without missing a beat as he walked up to the door leading to the balcony. 

"Why is your voice hoarse then?" Dylan retorted in the same manner. "Are you missing that someone again?"

Darren slid open the door slightly and he extended his hand to catch the rain droplets. "We miss people who are gone. She is right here with me in my heart. How can I possibly miss her?"

Dylan pursed his lips and closed his eyes. "Aren't you really torturing yourself like this?"

"Not at all," Darren replied while bringing his wet hand close to his face. "She had perished from this world in rain. Doesn't that mean she still is lingering around me within these raindrops? When I can feel her caressing my face, when I can feel her happiness in the pitter-patter sounds, how is this torturous or tormenting? If anything, it's my only blessing."

Dylan sighed out in defeat or sadness he didn't know but he still said, "I feel like an idiot for arguing with you over this. So, let's change the topic. You're coming with me to Huang Ming's wedding."

"You should take a date with you instead," Darren suggested.

"Don't act smart. You're coming and so is your date."

"First of all, I'm not trying to act smart. I am smart. At least in comparison with you," Darren didn't forget to taunt while sniffling and added, "Second of all, I hate weddings. I might not even show up at yours."

Dylan laughed out softly as he said, "I'm not getting married. Not so soon. So, you don't have to worry about it at all. Besides, at the rate you're going, I think you might not even get a chance to stand at your own wedding." Darren rolled his eyes, closed the door and went back to his bedroom. Just as he fell back on his bed, he heard Dylan's voice again, "I forgot to tell you the most important thing."

"Now what?" Darren could tell Dylan had nothing important to say at all. He was just trying to cheer him by accompanying him. This best friend was also a weird character.

"My assistant called me priceless today," Dylan told with a prideful look on his tone. Obviously, he didn't disclose the whole story since he knew Darren was gonna laugh at him.

"Sigh! And here I thought she was shrewd and savvy. Tsk, tsk. I'm very disappointed in her now." 

"Yah!" Dylan shouted at his teasing. "Can't you stop insulting me once in a while?"

"Mmm..." Darren pretended to think before replying with, "Can't do."

 "Sheesh. You can't even lie for your brother," Dylan got into his pitiful act again before continuing, "By the way, I can't find those cupcakes that you shared with me last time. Why don't you tell me about that neighbor of yours, I'll request her myself."

"You and Sweets are so alike that I think if you requested to her, she might add poison in your cupcakes." Darren had no clue how right he was about this. Neither was Dylan.

"Why? I don't even know her yet." 

"Didi, as I said, you both have countless similarities. And I'm afraid that you both can never sit in a room civilly. With both of your natures, there is bound to be trouble." 

Dylan was frowning but he didn't push him any further. After all, if Darren said it there was no way Dylan wouldn't believe it.

Chapter end