Hua Xu Yin Chapter 1.2

Part 1: The Confines of a Floating Life Chapter 1 (II)

I couldn’t believe it. When they needed to be honorable, they weren’t honorable; when the situation came to its end, then did they pretend to be honorable. If they could maintain that pretense honor until the final moment, then it would be inspiring, but unfortunately, they weren’t able to do so. To me, the royal family and its country were one. If the country perish then so would the family. The 7th day of November, the sky was mournfully dark. It hadn’t been three days since Chen troops surrounded the capital when Father decided to surrender. Never was there a kingdom’s destruction that came as coldly as Wei’s did. The events which occurred during previous kingdoms' endings, such as the king burning himself, officials hanging themselves, princesses escaping, all didn’t happened. The concubines were temporarily in riot, knowing that after the nation was destroyed, they would not be able to live the same carefree life. But if they ran away from the Palace, then they were doomed to travel in destitute, suffering hardship in order to survive. Besides, the Palace was not in disorder. Everything was clear and tidy; there was no need to escape. They deliberated for a bit, then finally decided to wait. After the latest news arrived, I went and put on the most beautiful outfit I ever had. It was said that that outfit was made from the feathers of 81 little egrets, all snow white. Its only weakness was that it looked too much like mourning clothes, therefore there was rarely an occasion to wear it. Three quarters to noon, a white flag was raised on the city gate tower. Light drizzle came from the sky. Wei suffered from drought for a long time. That drought was the beginning of our kingdom’s destruction. Now, rain had come to mourn its end. I climbed up the city walls without any obstruction. Three thousand troops had taken off their armors and changed sides. The colors of our weapons seemed somewhat darker than that of Chen. A soldier’s weapon was connected with his morale. The country was ruined and yet, they weren’t able to give their all and fight to death. The soldiers were half dead, half alive, but their swords were completely dead. This city wall was very high. The king believed that the city wall’s height would represent its invulnerability, the higher it was, the more powerful. But that power could not withstand one sentence, the one sentenced uttered from the Wei King, “We surrender.” Looking ahead, Kingdom Wei stretched on, the dark clouds gathered in the sky, drops of rain as delicate as silk flew with the wind, onto the faces of the Chen soldiers standing orderly outside the capital. I looked for the last time at the land below me. It was a fertile land, where our Wei people had lived and worked. There were staggering footsteps from behind me. I heard Father said, “Zhen’er, what are you doing?” In the course of one night, Father had aged obviously. Though he was old, but because of good maintenance, we liked to pretend he was still young. But now, we couldn’t pretend anymore. The truth was I had nothing left to say. The situation was already like this, talk was only useless. Father was supported by a eunuch, crumbling with each step. I organized the thoughts in my head, and said to him, “Father, do you still remember the words of Yanzong Temple Leader, my Master Hui Yi?” He nodded slowly. The wind was strong, causing my clothes to flap loudly. It was impossible to hear clearly, so I had no choice but to raise my voice. With my body wrapped tightly in the gown, I somberly said, “Master had taught Ye Zhen the duty of royalty. He often preached that the royal family was the pride of the nation, that the honor of the royal family was the honor of the entire nation. It could not allowed to be trampled even a little bit. But when you surrendered, did you considered yourself the pride of our nation? If Ye Zhen was king of a nation, I would definitely never surrender and caused our people to suffer great shame. You could see this as a way for the Wei citizens to escape from death. But today, Chen troops stood outside our capital. They had come here by walking over the corpses of our citizens. The three thousand troops inside the city laid down their armors and surrender. How are they to answer to the thousands of citizens who had died for our country? Now, the people standing here are no longer children of Kingdom Wei. Those people had already rest in peace. Though Ye Zhen had lived in the mountain since young, but I still had inside me the blood of royalty, representing the pride of our citizens. Father, you ordered everyone to surrender to Chen, but Ye Zhen absolutely could not. If I was a mere citizen, then today, I would suffer dishonor by the hands of Chen, but I am a princess.” Thunder clashed from above as rain poured down. I turned and looked at the city below. A young man dressed in lavish clothing was standing there for who knew how long. At first glance, he looked very much like Mu Yan. But in a blink of eye, he seemingly disappeared in the rain. Father anxiously said, “So what if you’re a princess? Come down first…” The rain was really washing everything away. For six months, there was never a rain like this. Was Wei to be perished so quickly? This was Heaven’s will. I wiped the rain from my face and looked up at the sky. All of my emotions and thoughts could be summed up in one sentence, “If the nation dies, then so will I; that is the conviction of a princess.” I jumped down from the city wall, thinking about how Master was afraid that I would become a philosopher. It turned out that what you were afraid of would come true. In the end, I did become a philosopher, confined in my own belief and ultimately ended in death. My only regret was not being able to see Mu Yan again. That night, with the stars shining bright, he held me, his sleeves emitting a faint fragrance of plum blossoms. He said, “What a scary girl. I saved your life and you repay my kindness with evil?” He said, “It is blood that comes from your womb according to a prescribed cycle…” He said, “You’re just a little girl. As a man, I couldn’t watch you die without doing anything.” He said, “What did you draw? It kind of looks like a monkey climbing a tree to pick peaches, but also looks like a bear fighting with a hive of bees…” Perhaps he had already forgotten me, had already gotten married, with dozens of kids, never knowing that there was a little girl who was still searching for him, who, at death’s door, was still thinking of him. The wind carried over the soldier’s cries, their voices blending in with the sound of rain. I heard a war song which the soldiers often sang, the mournful melody mixing in with the rain sounded even more sorrowful. I lay on the ground with my eyes closed, very aware of life leaving my body. There was the sound of footsteps approaching and stopping next to me. A hand caressed my cheek. There was a light fragrance of plum blossoms in the wind, but I couldn’t distinguish whether it was my imagination or not. I struggled to talk, “Ge’ge…Ge’ge…” The hand trembled on my cheek. I was not able to be raised like a princess, but I would die like a princess. I died on the winter of that year, accompanied by the mourning song of Wei, “The clear moon, the sinking stars, my family far away. When the plum blossoms fall, bring me home…”  

 

Chapter end