Girls Blue part3

“Yeah, but what’s the point in going with you…?”

Even if she hadn’t been hospitalized, Misaki’s not the type to dress up in a yukata on the night of the festival and walk alongside a guy.

“Kisaragi! While Mutsuki’s working his butt off aiming for the nationals, how can you, as a brother, be lazing around like that?”

Apparently, Mutsuki’s high school’s continuing to do pretty well. By the end of the month, those teams who would advance to the nationals will be decided.

“What?”

“Welll~ I don’t know a thing about the rules when it comes to baseball, and it’d be hot, and I’d get a sunburn, and to be honest the whole idea of ‘high school baseball’ is a little too much like some overly sentimental teen drama for my liking…”

“Mutsuki definitely drew the short stick falling for someone like you. I honestly feel sorry for the poor guy.”

Suddenly, I had my arm grabbed. I tried to scream, but my mouth simply opened without any sound coming out of it. I flung my bag around; it was a pretty good hit.

Mao was crouched down holding his head in his hands. He was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and black pants. His middle school uniform.

“Who assaulted who? If I had to choose, I’d rather sleep with Someko than try to start something with you.”

“I didn’t think you had a thing for older women.”

“You shouldn’t go around grabbing a girl’s arm without saying something first. I’d bet you money you’re gonna be slammed with an attempt to rape one of these days.”

Mao lifted his chin towards the south in the direction of our house.

“The cops.”

“The cops…? But–I haven’t done anything.”

“I don’t…oh, but I DID ride with two other people on a single bicycle the other day…”

“That must be it. Three people riding on a single bicycle is a clear violation of road safety regulations.”

Mao laughs. He has a straight nose and nicely shaped lips. He has handsome, balanced features, so he looks a lot older than his actual age. That’s if you put a positive spin on things. On the other hand though, he does come off as overly serious. This is just my personal opinion, but for guys with well-proportioned features, unless you’re pretty dumb, you end up looking really strait-laced and serious.

“You? But why?”

“I think it’s about the cat.”

That rang a bell.

“Right.”

“Mao-san, I don’t really get where you’re trying to go with this, so if you could explain it to me that’d be great.”

I moved my black eyes back and forth, and covered my mouth and tried asking:

But there’s no way that could be true. Mao’s not capable of killing animals. Maybe a mosquito, fly or slug, and that’s only when pressured to. His dream is to become a veterinarian, and next year, he’s planning on applying to the math division of Ryo-High. Even the inside of his head is balanced. Despite being my brother, he’s someone of exceptional talent.

And with almost perfect timing, there was a meowing sound. From the thicket beside the Indian azalea, out popped the face of a slightly dirty cat.

“Huh? Me wha?”

“Don’t name a stray cat after your older sister. What, you have a sister complex or something?”

The cat rubbed itself against Mao’s leg while observing my cautiously. It was a brown striped cat, and apparently she got the name “Riho” seeing as how its coloring reminded him of my hair. For my brother, it was a pretty simple way of thinking.

“So what, you’ve been feeding her all this time?”

Someko, back when she was still a pup, had her ear chewed and nose scratched by the resident boss cat of the neighbourhood. What happened was, she boldly challenged the boss cat that was lying down taking an afternoon nap, and ended up getting her butt whipped. Ever since, she starts trembling when she hears a cat meowing — even if it’s a kitten.

“If people got picked up for feeding cats, then riding three to one bike would definitely be worthy of being locked up for.”

“It seems like someone saw me feeding her. Not only once, but multiple times. That’s how I ended up getting reported. They apparently told the cops that there’s a suspicious middle schooler around here, and that he might be the one responsible for the cat murders.”

“I don’t know. I left school early today, and I went in from the back door. That’s when I heard the cop talking to mom…he said that it wasn’t like they were particularly interested in me as a suspect, but that since there’s been a series of cats getting killed lately, that everyone’s on a thin thread, and there’s been lots of reports being made. Since they can’t just ignore those reports, he said they’re just going around and investigating, but I…wonder if that’s true?”

“Riho, Kisaragi has nothing to do with what we’re talking about right now. And besides, what’s suspicious is not the way I’m dressed, but the time.”

“Yeah. You know how I haven’t been going to school lately, right? And even today, I left early…”

Commands, discipline, group-mentality, public order — it’s a place filled to the brim with out-dated words like that. Freedom, pleasure, individuality — these kinds of words are in low supply. Even then, I still had a blast there. For those three years, I hit the jackpot when it came to teachers. For grade 7, I had Ms. Seo Takae. She was tall and lanky, and every time someone would comment “Gee, you’re so tall, teach!” she would smile shyly. She was an avid reader, and she was the type to read to us junior high schoolers everyday. Thanks to her, I read a lot of books during this period. Even though I was a reader who mainly read only mysteries, even now, I still like reading books a teeny bit.

Thanks to an air pump-like teacher, we were able to breathe pretty easily. But apparently, Mao wasn’t so lucky. Right around the time his absences became noticeable in grade 9, his teacher, who seemed to have a nervous disposition, said to our mother:

He said stuff like that. Forget about being an air pump, he’s the type who can’t even become a decoration in a water tank.

“Maybe it’s weird for a junior schooler to be feeding cats in the park during a time when he should be at school…well, what with the cat incident and all, it’s not just weird—but creepy. And not only that, but since I’m not really good with talking to other people, I walk with my head down, so maybe it makes me look even more suspicious.”

Who cares what other people think? But when it’s about yourself we’re talking about here, be serious about it. Don‘t just lie there and take it. That’s what I want to yell at him. He’s under suspicion just for not going to school and feeding some cat. He was even reported for it. Don’t try to put on a calm face about it. It makes me pissed off.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going home.”

“So what? Do I need permission from the police to go back to my own home? Are they THAT great?”

“So what, you aren’t mad?”

I turned around and glared at him. If it had been Misaki, I’m sure she would’ve given him a hard slap across the cheek. But since I’m not as violent as Misaki, I held myself back and just glared at him.

When blood rushes to my head, my way of talking becomes really harsh. My voice is pretty low to begin with, so apparently I come across as pretty intimidating. “Riho, I’m begging ya, please just calm down. You should realize how scary you’re being. You could even play the main role in some gangster wife movie.” I don’t know how many times Kisaragi has warned me about this. But I’m angry. I couldn’t care less if I came across as scary.

“Sis.”

“I didn’t kill any cat.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you the children of this household?”

“Is that right? Oh, then is this Mao-kun?”

“Mao didn’t do it, just so you know.”

“I don’t know what they told you on the phone, but he’s just been giving food to a stray cat, so please don’t go laying false accusations on him.”

“Oh…no, no that’s not why I was here. I guess you two heard about it, huh? Well…the residents around here have been pretty uneasy because of the cat incident, and our division has been getting many phone calls everyday. It’s not as if we could just ignore them, so we had no choice but to…well, this is all in a day’s work, you have to understand.”

“I apologize if this caused you any discomfort. But, Mao-kun—”

“I heard you haven’t been going to school very much lately…”

I remained standing in front of Mao, and puffed up my chest.

The man smiled at me and rested a hand on Mao’s shoulder before leaving. There was a white car parked in the front. It wasn’t the panda-like white and black patrol car. It was a slightly old, everyday car. He got into the passenger’s side of that car.

“Whoa, mom sure did scatter that perfume all throughout the entrance.”

“Geez, aren’t you usually supposed to sprinkle salt in cases like this? What a waste to use Nicole Richie perfume.”

I made a loud ruckus on purpose as I went over to open the door to the dining room.

My mom, who had a red-bean bun held in her mouth cast us a sharp glare.

It’s the first strike that decides the battle.

Aiming towards me, she threw a chocolate donut still in its wrapping at me. I catch it with one hand.

“I guess.”

“You’re such a thoughtful child.”

“I felt like what the major general Fukasou must’ve felt when he fell in love with Ononokomachi.”

Mao was born taking after my mother.

My mother grabbed the cup with oolong tea in it with her hand and drank it all up in one big gulp. She did it with great gusto, but it wasn’t that impressive since it was only oolong tea.

I hold out the bottle. My mother’s name is Risako, and even now my dad still calls his wife “Risa-san.”

“Mom, stewed pork is low in fat, delicious, and is chock full of collagen. I feel sorry for the stewed pork for being used as a reference of comparison for something like this.”

“Apologize.”

“To the stewed pork.”

“Fundamentally, mothers are pretty impressive.”

“Babies usually weigh around 300 kg, right? And they give birth to that. They give birth to that from that tiny place. Don’t you think that’s amazing?”

“Riho-chan, 300 grams is too small. It’s not as if we’re buying beef or something. 3000 grams is more like it.”

Misaki continued in a slightly disenchanted manner.

As it turns out, an endless supply of love and a desire to possess often come hand in hand. I love you, I love you, I love you — that’s why you’re mine. When it involves a man and a woman, an obsession that leads to a hundred night visits can turn into a love story, but it’s not like that when it’s family. Misaki’s mother, who devotes her life to her daughter is considered by her to be annoying and stifling. But at the same time, Misaki loves her.

Mao was the same. He would avoid her gaze and emotions, and become completely silent. Even now, he didn’t say anything — he simply retreated to his room on the second floor still holding the donut in his hand.

“You mean, Mao?”

“No duh.”

“Get a grip, mom. Who has he got left to turn to if he’s being viewed with suspicion by his own mother?”

My mother’s beautiful face distorts. Wrinkles that are befitting of her age gathered together around her lip.

“But Kisaragi-kun is pretty talkative.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t know?”

“Mao really looks up to Kisaragi-kun.”

“No, Kisaragi-kun. Mao said so himself. I forgot when he said it exactly but he said one day ‘Kisaragi-san’s my ideal’ — he said it, I swear!”

I joked the comment off, but I kinda understand why Mao would look up to him. Not Mutsuki, but Kisaragi. Kisaragi has something that neither Mao or Mutsuki has. I can’t explain what that is exactly. I don’t really understand it myself. It’s not something that society praises like kindness, diligence, talent, scholastic abilities, or appearance — but he has something that Mao wishes he could have. I do know that. But I don’t need it. I want something different. Sure, I wish I could have rounded double-eyelids and mascara that won’t clump up, but more than that, what I want is something that only I want — something that Kisaragi or Misaki or Mao doesn’t have. One day, I’d like to make that mine.

The very same Kisaragi that Mao looked up to so much, only showed up at my house well after seven.

“Riho, you’re…”

He’s really sincere when it comes to showing his emotions. As for me, I was sincerely pleased. He was able to think that the pink yukata wearing me was beautiful. And yet, my knight was late.

“You have absolutely no feeling of tension. Your heart never goes pitter-patter. Not only that, but you lack discipline.”

“You’re telling me you feel absolutely nothing seeing a girl in a yukata get-up? Don’t you have any interest in women?”

“How lame. What a stupid dream.”

My dad commented frankly. He really is a frank person. Kisaragi, smiling, replies:

“That makes sense. People aren’t sexually attracted to their friends.”

“Hmm…as a father, I’m a bit on the fence about how I should feel about that…well at any rate, friendship is priceless. It is pretty rare for a friendship to be formed between a male and female. Kisaragi-kun, do your best.”

My dad’s gone into total teacher-mode. As for me, I pulled on Kisaragi’s ear.

“Ow, you’ve been getting stronger and stronger lately, Riho. Ah, Mao, you should come with us.”

“To…the festival?”

“I’ll go.”

Mao hates being in large crowds. He literally can’t handle being around large groups of people. It’s been that way ever since he was a kid. For him, the play dates in preschool and Sports Day in elementary school were nothing more than pure torture.

“Then let’s go.”

The yukata’s really hot. Especially when you’re just standing there not moving. My normal summer wear was a camisole and short shorts, in other words, an energy saving fashion to the max, so it’s no surprise that I’d find clothing that wraps around my entire body stifling.

“Is it just me, or are you acting more cutesy than usual?”

“My sister’s narcissism personified, after all.”

“Bystanders, you’re being annoying. Just shut up and follow behind me. Oh, and Mao, it’s no use using complicated words like ‘narcissism personified’ around Kisaragi—there’s no way he knows what that means.”

“Thanks.”

“I almost didn’t recognize you. You’ve gotten so pretty in the time that I haven’t seen you.”

She might’ve said that partly out of politeness. As a societal etiquette. But, part of it must be true. I glanced over at Kisaragi and Mao.

It’s up to us whether we love, hate, ignore or accept the present that’s given equally to our 17 year old selves. We don’t have a dream or specific goal that we’re aiming for and doing our best to achieve like Mutsuki, but still, I’ve come to accept the person I am in the present time unconditionally, and I love myself.

I don’t know when he bought it, but Kisaragi was licking a candied apple as he said this to me. Mao looked happy as he licked his candied apple.

“The way you love yourself. People who’re like that can’t get crushed, you know? Even when you got dumped, you didn’t let that get you down.”

“Yeah, but most people would’ve gotten really depressed over something like that.”

“No, but you did that just because you wanted a change in hairstyle, right? I remember how you kept raving about how good it looked on you.”

“’Woman’ you say?”

I was about to shoot back a retort, but as I looked up, fireworks bloomed in the star-filled sky. One, two. They were the preliminary fireworks before the main fireworks display at nine o’clock. These fireworks, which were only red in color, wilted and disappeared in an instant.

Kisaragi held the candied apple in his mouth, and started clapping. I guess the others on the roadside were drawn in by it, because there was a smattering of clapping.

“Why not? This is a festival after all. The ones who get excited are the winners.”

“Nah, I’d at least wear a swim suit. I’m just good mannered like that.”

“Riho, you haven’t even seen me naked before, so don’t say stuff like that.”

“And that was HOW many years ago? You don’t know how much I’ve grown. It’s not only your tits that’ve grown big, you know.”

“Oh, so what? You want to give me a try? You want to sleep with me naked again, is that it?”

“Well look who’s talking! It’s the same for me — I’d rather do it with Mao than with you!”

The people that were walking passed us giggled. I guess we were being a bit loud.

“Mao, don’t react to his perverted joke.”

His cheeks were still stained pink as he laughed. When he laughs, he resembles mom even more.

“ ‘I’ll be waiting with the fish. Right now, I’m working at my part-time job.’ — so it said, but what did she mean by the fish?”

“Our town doesn’t have an aquarium.”

Before Kisaragi could finish his sentence, someone called out my name.

Ayana was waving to me from a stand 2-3 metres away. She was wearing a bright red tank top and jeans. She had a spotted patterned towel wrapped around her forehead. She also had a bright red towel draped over her neck.

“Ayana!”

“Sure did.”

“Yep. How’ve you been? What’re you doing?”

On a portable stove with charcoal fire, she was roasting skewered sweetfish. On top of the grid iron, the scallops gaped open as it made a sizzling sound. It smelled really good.

“So you’re working at a fish shop?”

“Yo, Takenoshita. Looking like a pro there.”

Mao waves off her question while shaking his head no. His eyes squinted from the smoke rising upwards.

“Ooh~ I didn’t know you had such a looker for a bro, Riho! Ah, hey, here, have some. It’s my treat.”

“Ah, thanks.”

“Takenoshita, me too.”

“That’ll be 300 yen. I’ll give you a break on the scallops and let you have ’em for two for 200 yen.”

“Aya-chan, it’s okay. They’re you’re friends, right? Be a little nicer to them.”

“But boss, you shouldn’t go around saying stuff like that. If you let high schoolers take advantage of you, they’ll wring you dry. Oh, hi, welcome–”

“Okay, so two skewers of sweetfish and one scallops. That’ll be 800 yen. Okay, so from 1000 yen, that’s 200 in change. Thank you very much. Yes, you’re next, right? Thanks for waiting. We’ve got freshly roasted sweetfish.”

“She sure is a pro at this.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No.”

“You sure are strict, Aya-chan.”

“Yeah, right? I thought you’d say something like that, Riho.”

“Where’s Misaki?”

“She’s in the hospital right now.”

“It’s nothing new.”

“Yeah, but it’s people like her who’ll show everybody and live so long that she lands herself in the Guinness Book of World Records.”

Ayana asked how everyone was doing as she turned the skewers.

“That’s great. You know, I never liked studying, but I really loved school.”

“Right around this time of year, I get this urge to wear a school uniform again. It makes me wish I’d gone to the school library at least once, you know?”

“Riho, didn’t you used to visit the library a lot?”

“Oh. So they had manga too? Dang. And like, I won’t have the chance to eat lunch with you guys ever again, you know? And even though the curry udon they served at school was crap, I really wish I could eat it again.”

Ayana’s face was undisguised in its disgust. She looked as if she had been forced to eat something that she hated.

“Yeah.”

“Are the mountain goats from the agriculture division doing well too?”

“Well way to go.”

I bite into the sweetfish. It tasted noticeably better than the ones that we roasted at our home grill. I felt like I could almost eat even the bones.

Misaki hated holding ambiguous relations with countless numbers of people. More than numerical formulas and English terms, she said she’ll never be able to come to terms with it. Even then though, she never missed playing our cell phone roulette game. And strangely enough, she never ends up as the loser. Someone always calls her — whether it be her parents, doctor, a wrong number call, or a spam call. It just might be that as a way to make up for her weak body, God gave great luck to this weak, stubborn young girl.

I glared at the text that floated to the surface of the screen for a while. The fingers holding my cell phone shook slightly. I looked up at Kisaragi again.

“You should go.

“It’s not everyday that Misaki calls for you, so you should go.”

Damnit, if I knew this was going to happen, I would’ve chosen to wear sneakers.

“Riho–”

“Wear these.”

“Ayana, I owe you one.”

I was given a plastic bag with sweetfish in it.

“Yeah.”

“Riho, hop on.”

“And we’re off–”

Ayana waves. I wonder where Mao went? Well, whatever. He’s 15, it’s not like he’s still at an age where his big sister has to constantly watch over him.

“I borrowed it.”

“I don’t know. Somebody had it parked nearby.”

“Idiot. Once I drop you off at the hospital, I’ll come back and leave it where I found it. Don’t worry, I left Mao in the spot. If the owner comes, he said he’ll explain the circumstances.”

“Why not?”

“Sure he can.”

“He’s more grown up than you give him credit for, and he’s capable of anything, Riho.”

“So you shouldn’t think that you need to protect him or anything.”

Regardless of whether it’s my brother, I’ve never thought of an impudent thing like that.

The upward slope continues. Kisaragi’s muscle flexes, and becomes slightly warmer.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…wait, what ‘hope’?”

People walking in the streets look back at us. They see two people riding to a bike, with the girl wearing sneakers with her yukata tied back. It’s no wonder they felt the need to look back and stare. I can’t be bothered by that though.

“It’s started, huh?”

“Well then, I’m going to go and give this back. I’ll come to pick you up again later.”

“You’re the one she texted, right? If she wants me to come, I’m sure she’ll text me too.”

“Do you know where her room is?”

“I don’t know. I think it was on the fifth floor though.”

“Don’t bet on it.”

Inside the hospital, you can’t use your cell phone. Using the dimly lit emergency stairs, I climbed up to the fifth floor. My knees’ve gone all funny. I finally understood what that meant. I can’t put pressure on my knees. My thighs feel heavy, and sweat poured down by entire body. I definitely think I lost at least 2kg from going up the stairs alone. I should let Suu-chan know later about the emergency stairs climbing diet.

I can see nurses coming and going in the white linoleum-floored hallway. They’re heading to the room at the very end of the hallway. It’s the only room that has light spilling out, and it swallows up and spits out the white-uniform wearing women. Equipment I didn’t know the name of were being carried into that room. Once I got closer, I could hear the sound of someone crying. It’s the sound of someone who’s trying her best to hold herself back.

The text turns into words, and becomes Misaki’s voice as it echoes in my head. What was I doing? If Misaki’s in that room right now, then what was I doing until now? I feel weak at my knees. If Misaki disappears from my life, what will be left? There are lots that would be left. I’m not Kisaragi, but I know we have more than we think we do. Even then though, a hole would be left in her place. If I lose Misaki suddenly like this, a hole will be left in me– one that can’t be filled. It’s as if I was unexpectedly assaulted by a thug. There’s no way to prepare yourself for it.

A nurse who had noticed me rooted on the spot asked.

“Are you a relative?”

“Would you like to go in? …Are you all right?”

I’ve never felt so small in my whole seventeen years as I did at this very moment. I felt so small that I couldn’t even decide my own words or actions.

Grandpa? Dad?

“What would you like to do? Would you like to go in?”

I think it must’ve been because she was wearing a hospital frock, but I lowered my head to the nurse who looked a bit like Mizuki Arisa. In my moment of confusion, she was the one who quietly gave me kind words.

As I gave her my thanks and turned, I spotted Misaki peering down at me from the stairs.

“Riho, that was fast.”

“Whoa, what kind of outfit is that? You sure must’ve been in some hurry. That’s hilarious.”

I start walking down the stairs.

“Home.”

“Yeah, but I’m leaving.”

“This is from Ayana. She roasted it herself. Even though it’s really hot out, she stood in front of the charcoal fire and roasted it as she sweated her butt off.”

“Moron.”

“Well excuse me for feeling the need to hurry. Couldn’t you have sent me a more decent text than that, you moron?”

“Did you think I’d died or something?”

Misaki, who was wearing a yellow checkered pyjama, grinned.

“I know that. I was the idiot for getting my hopes up.”

“This way.”

“The real-deal’s going to start soon, right? This is the best seat in the city.”

The fireworks go up into the sky. Without being obstructed by the crowd or houses, it fills my field of vision.

Without realizing it, I let out a whoop of delight.

“Oh, were you in the hospital last summer too?”

Misaki peers into the plastic bag, and took out a can of oolong tea.

“That’s Ayana’s doing. She sure is considerate, huh?”

“Well it looks like she’s taken the lead, huh? Why don’t you try the sweetfish?”

“This is really good.”

“Misaki, are you doing better?”

“Even once you’re back at home though, you should make sure to take it easy.”

“Bingo. It would be even better if you could just stay locked in a cage.”

“We should go to the beach.”

“That sounds great.”

“And yet you still said that?”

“Sure.”

“Take a parasol though, okay? My skin’s weak against the sun. It breaks out in a rash.”

“Oh, and no buses. I get car-sick. Let’s go by train, okay?”

“Well you’ll have to just deal with it. Oh, and–”

“I didn’t know that even little kids were hospitalized.”

In an instant, I think back to the hospital room from before. For Kitahara-san’s family, tonight’s fireworks serves as a funeral background. I was really relieved. I know it’s selfish and shameful to feel this way, but I was really glad that it wasn’t Misaki who had died. It’d just be too much if I was reminded of her death every time the summer festival rolled around.

“Yeah?”

Misaki continued to look up at the fireworks as she placed her hand on the fence that enclosed the rooftop.

“I heard you say that before.”

You won’t lose. You’ve never lost — not even once. That’s not you. We’re not going to lose. Even if we have to put up with oxygen tanks and Ivs at a frequent rate, and even if we’re accused of shoplifting, and even if some old geezer comes up to us and asks “How much?,” and even if we get kicked out of school, there’s no way we’re going to allow ourselves to lose.

I turn to Misaki and get into a fighting stance. Misaki laughed quietly.

The fireworks go up one after another without stopping. Although this town is struggling because of the recession, it still spends a huge chunk of its early budget on the summer festival that’s held once a year. It’s as if they’re setting off the fireworks partly out of despair.

“Right? Sitting here, it makes you feel as if the fireworks are being set off just for you.”

“It even makes you think that a world conquest can be done in a cinch.”

“A world conquest? And then what?”

“Hmmm…let’s see—well for starters, I’d build a humongous fashion building in this town.”

“We could even call it 1090.”

“Yep, and I’m going to give fifty percent off all the stuff to Inanohara stu

Chapter end