Focus. Part 14

I've found one of my favorite rituals is drinking tea. Here's why...

As ancient and obvious as tea is, I have found that it provides one of the richest rituals around. Tea gives me...

Connection to the farmer. I believe that life is about connecting deeply with myself, the world, and other people. A better life occurs as those connections deepen and broaden. Drinking artisan tea connects me so directly to so many sources. The artist of the leaf who hand selected the very leaves I have in my cup, just a few months ago and yet thousands of miles away, is present, right now as I sip the leaves she chose. Without words and without sight I am directly connected to this farmer so far away in body and so close in spirit.

Connection to nature. This very little leaf is truly a miracle. Possible only because of a rare combination of soil, sun, and rain, this leaf is of the earth, fleetingly a part of me, and then will return to the earth. So temporary and yet so deeply connected to the same ground and sun I am part of. I am as dependent on the sun, earth, and rain as this leaf, and drinking it's nectar connects me deeper to it.

Connection to myself. The ritual of making and drinking tea connects me to the simple actions that require its brewing, and that I do in my own unique way. My brew is 100% unique to me, and this time I enjoy making and drinking it is my own special art. Somedays bitter, somedays sweet, somedays dark, and somedays light. My brew is a reflection of me.

Connection to others. When I make tea for another person I am offering to them my time, my space, my brew. Enjoying this moment together, in silence or talking, allows me to share a moment of my life with another person. This time allows us both to feel the richness of the connection to each other and to the leaf, farmer, and earth. It is like taking a journey with another person, and the richness of the experience will last long after the cups are washed and we are home in our separate beds.

Connection to the moment. Making and drinking tea I connect to this precise moment, the "Now." The physical sensations of the hot kettle and the humidity of the rising steam as it whistles. The texture of the warm ceramic teacups. The sound of boiling water and the crunch of dried leaves as I scoop them from their copper canister. The aroma of the first brew, sweet and earthy smells wafting through the kitchen, preparing my taste buds for what comes next. The sight of the coppery golden brew as it swirls from the pot into my cup. And finally that last lingering sip that sits on the back of my throat, and the final drop of tea is gone. The moment overflows with physical sensations when making tea.

It's long lasting. Long after drinking a good tea, the effects still linger. Obviously the thousands of health benefits are a great bonus to this ritual, but even better are the feelings. Uplifted, warmed, connected, focused, and slightly caffeinated are just a few of the obvious long lasting benefits. The biggest long lasting benefit of tea is that it creates Space. Like the open "ahhhhh....." feeling you get from a deep stretch, or a skilled massage, tea gives the same, but with the mind. Doing the tea ritual right you can find a sense of mental space that is both freeing and invigorating, and can last for many days.

tips for creating rituals.

The ritual should ...

Be Mundane. The more boring it is the easier it is. Look for the most basic things you do in life that seem utterly dull. Washing the laundry. Putting away the dishes. Taking a shower. Going over the top on some ornate, ultra complex ceremony might be intriguing and fun the first time, but it's not something you'll be able repeat without a lot of effort. You want to look for something so easy and obvious, that you can't do it wrong, and that you don't have to think about it.

Be Repeatable. It's got to be something that takes doing daily, weekly, or monthly. Doing it over and over allows it to become second nature and allows you to really get into the flow of just going through the motions, step by step, the same every single time. The repeatability makes it a natural extension of you. It allows you to be a total expert, a master of the art of whatever it is. A journal entry, cutting garlic, tying your shoes, anything that you can do again and again and again.

Include Boring Objects. The ritual has to have things that you interact with so that you can develop a rhythm. Don't spend lot of money on them. In fact, you probably don't have to spend a cent as they're likely lying around your house. I have a morning ritual of writing in my journal with a really nice "special" Moleskine notebook, and cheapo fountain pen. I enjoy the flow of raw ink onto paper, as my thoughts flow through the pen's nib in a way totally unlike using a computer. Candles, incense, essential oils, books, paper, pens, food and cutlery... The more tactile and "natural" the objects are the more pleasurable and sensory. The Boring Object doesn't have to even be a thing though. It can be your breath. Your body. Using the breath for a series of deep breathing exercises can be incredibly profound. Using your body to practice a dance routine can also be deep. The point is that the more basic and simple and obvious the objects you've got, the better. Just use them.

Allow the Observer and Observed to Merge. Some people call this the "Flow" state. It's fairly well known to artists, writers, musicians, dancers and athletes. You become one with the activity. It's a very special state where time stands still and you lose all sense of the world, and yet also become absolutely present in the world. Nothing distracts you physically or mentally. You are just being. It's awsome, and very liberating and rewarding. And the hardest part is that it requires no effort. As soon as you begin "trying" the state slips away. It's just an allowance of this merging to take place, and then going with the flow.

Some activities I've created rituals with: Shaving Journal entry Walking Folding my clothes Blogging Washing dishes Making and drinking tea Showering Yoga Weight lifting Rock climbing Listening to others Organizing my to do lists Photography Piano Listening to LPs Cutting vegetables Cooking pasta Watching the sunrise / sunset.

Going communication free (Disconnect by going into "Airplane Mode" and turning off all connectivity.).

Daydream.

minimize distractions.

The ideal rituals happen at the beginning or end of the day. There is a natural cycle of life at those time periods, and, there is less stuff happening at those times to distract you from the ritual. If you can wake up early in the morning to watch the sun rise, that in itself is an amazing ritual, and at that time of day there is usually very little to disturb the ritual. If you're doing the ritual during the day, try to turn off the phone, wireless connection, and email. Even if for just a few minutes you will find the escape incredibly refreshing. At first do the ritual alone. As you get better welcome others to join you on the journey and encourage them to follow these principles with you. To really get into the ritual, and to get the most out of it though you cannot be disturbed during the process.

Jesse Jacobs is the owner of Samovar Tea Lounge and blogs at Real Ritual (http://www.realritual.com).

5: two ways to focus on the stuff that matters.

By Michael Bungay Stanier.

I'm in a hotel room in Europe. It's early morning and I'm working on my computer, the room lit only by the lamp on my desk.

I stand, stretch, and move to look out the window. And I see two images.

There's the scene outside -- dark empty streets wet with rain. And imposed over that, reflected back from the window like a mirror, is an image of myself.

This is exactly the combined focus it takes to find your Great Work. You need to look into yourself. And you need to see with fresh eyes the landscape around you. Let me show you how.

but wait -- what's Great Work?.

Imagine all you do -- at work, outside of work -- falls into one of three buckets.

Bad Work: The waste-your-time, numb-your-soul, freeze-your-brain, sap-your-life type of work. And insultingly enough, it's rarely terrible, just insidious. As Frank Zappa said, "It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice -- there are... other possibilities [and] one is paperwork."

Good Work: The useful and comfortable tasks we spend much of our time doing. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with this of course - except perhaps for two dangers. First, Good Work is endless (apart from Leo and David Allen, has anyone else mastered the email monster? And don't get me started on meetings...) You can spend your entire life trying but never quite finishing Good Work. And the second danger is that it keeps you playing safe -- what a friend of mine called "a mink hole -- like a rat hole but much more comfortable."

Great Work: It's what's left, and you're already hungry to do more. It's the work that has meaning, the work that matters, the work that creates impact. It's the stuff you want to talk about, that you're proud of, that is your own small contribution to making the world a better place.

And bottom line? Everyone wants a little more Great Work and a little less of the rest.

These two quick exercises might help.

become magnetic.

The place to begin is not by focusing on others nor on opportunities. The place to begin is by focusing on you and what really matters.

This often gets talked about as defining your values (and it often sounds very important). I like to think of it as magnetizing the needle of my compass. It's all about helping me take a true bearing on what matters so I can best find my way through the landscape around me.

Here's one way to do it.

did I ever tell you you're my hero?

You admire your heroes and role-models because they stand for something that matters to you, and they embody it in a way that's bigger, bolder and more elegant than others.

Think now of five of your heroes, and write down their names. Don't be afraid to stretch beyond the "people only" category -- you'll see what I mean when you seem my list below. Next to each one, write down three or four characteristics that you admire in each of these heroes.

Here are four of mine: Buzz Lightyear (a character from Toy Story): optimistic, explores the edges, relentlessly resourceful, a good friend My dad, Robin (a real person): gentle, full of integrity, puts important people first Cirque du Soleil (a brand): creative, restless, breaks the rules, creates wonder My friend, Ric (a real person): rock solid, a host and a hub of his community, willing to start things afresh You might be able to see a pattern emerging that I can start shaping as my values.

resourceful / creative / create wonder a good friend / puts people first / hub of a community explores the edges, restless You'll see a similar pattern emerge for you when you do the exercise. Words which make sense when clustered together point you towards some of your core values, and help you better recognize and judge the opportunities around you.

shift your gaze.

Focusing on who you are and what matters to you is the right place to start. But don't stop.

It's now time to shift your gaze and to lengthen your focus. Lift up your eyes and look around you. In your current life, there are already the seeds of your future Great Work. They're waiting for you to give them the loving care they need so they can truly blossom.

So where do you find them? Well there are two immediate places to grab your attention. The first is, the bleedingly obvious project you've been wanting to do forever, but haven't yet given yourself permission to wholeheartedly begin.

Consider permission granted.

The second is those parts of your life that have moved from tolerable to intolerable. It might be in your home life, your work life, your community, your country or your planet. But something's causing you pain, and it may be your Great Work to right that wrong.

But there's a third place to explore, one often overlooked. It's at the Good Work you're currently doing.

Because we're so busy, we often find ourselves doing most things at about the same standard. Good Work? Done well enough. Bad Work? Done well enough. Great Work? Done well enough.

But as you scan your current Great Work, you'll see opportunities there that you wish you weren't doing just "well enough". These are things that could be Great Work for you. It might be a project at work, an entrepreneurial side project, an opportunity to engage a group of people, a key relationship.

No matter what it is, ask yourself this: What would I do differently if I committed to this as my Great Work Project? Really stepped up to the challenge. How would I behave differently? What time, money, effort and resources would I commit to it differently? Who else would I invite in to share and to help?

Great Work doesn't haven't to be the new and the shiny. Often it's taking what's already there and burnishing it until it begins to shine.

unfocus.

My final point is this. Don't make it all about the focusing. Great Work comes to life in the doing and not in the viewing.

Let's take a random example -- Leo. Do you think he imagined the Empire of Minimalism known as Zen Habits when he wrote his first blog post? I think not. In fact, he put it like this just one year after beginning Zen Habits -- and it's a moment of clarity and joy that I wish for you and for us all: "Through this blog, I've found my passion, and I think my calling."

Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of "Find Your Great Work: Stop the busywork, and start the work that matters," which can be found at http://www.domoregreatwork.com.

Chapter end