Even If It's Not Love Chapter 36.1

Clenching his teeth tightly, Woo-hyun held on to one clear fact to keep himself centered.

The fact that Kim Yi-woon was dead.

Because of Kim Yoo-hwa, he missed the last chance to catch Kim Yi-woon. He couldn't get revenge on his sister, and wasted only his time. Now he had no more reason to meet with Kim Yoo-hwa.

So today was the last day he saw her. It had to be. All those emotions became poisonous and leaked out of his mouth.

The more he spoke, the more she lost the smile she had barely kept. The shoulders that had lost strength drooped down, and she kept holding back her tears.

“Or was it fun? Did you think we were in some kind of relationship?”

The words that came out of his mouth sounded immature. He asked himself if that was what Yoo-hwa was feeling, but he couldn't answer it.

“In that case, your expectations were wrong. That's not going to happen.”

He tore Yoo-hwa apart with his poisonous words.

“At least for you and me.”

And even himself.

Yoo-hwa was sitting on the stone steps when people she was seeing for the first time forced the gate open and rushed in. The cold wind had abated, but the weather was still cold. The men wearing black padded coats were startled to see Yoo-hwa sitting. Then, they exchanged silent gazes among themselves.

Yoo-hwa wondered if Yi-woon had caused trouble again without her knowledge. Come to think of it, she wondered where the people who were running around telling her to pay back the 100 million won went. She wondered if she should run inside her room right now and lock the door, or if she should run away through the gate.

Contrary to her busy thoughts, her powerless body could not lift a finger. Fortunately, the men pretended they didn't see Yoo-hwa and turned around. She even heard one of them saying it was 'hyung-nim's order'. Only then did Yoo-hwa realize who the men were. They were people associated with Woo-hyun.

He said he was a gangster, but it seems like he still is.

Come to think of it, Woo-hyun was also wearing a suit in front of the morgue. It looked much more natural than the shabby casual clothes.

The men opened the door of Woo-hyun's house and entered. They took out his few household items and shoved them inside a large bag. Anyone could see they were throwing them away. After the men had cleared his belongings, they closed the door and turned around to go out. As the gate closed with a thud, she was engulfed in silence.

He was leaving like this.

On one occasion, she thought he might come to sort out his things, but this was how he did it.

Only then did Yoo-hwa realize that she had the ridiculous hope that everything that happened in front of the hospital morgue last night would be a dream.

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Even though it was more vivid than any other situation.

Yoo-hwa brought her chin to rest on her folded knees. The cold breeze made her face hurt, but her body didn't have strength. Her frozen gaze reached the cracked cement floor.

Yoo-hwa rummaged through her mind. When she was having a hard time and wanted to die, when she wanted to say something, when she felt so lonely that she was going crazy, she took someone out of her head and pretended they were in front of her.

At one point, it was a middle school friend, during elementary school it was a teacher, and she even took out the mister from the supermarket she saw when she was a child.

And now, the only person left in her feeble mind was the grandma next door. Slowly turning her head, Yoo-hwa recalled the grandma crouching on the stone steps.

With a long exhale of cigarette smoke, the grandma looked with empty eyes at the smoke that dissolved in the air and disappeared.

The last image of her life, empty and serene.

“… Granny.”

Yoo-hwa carefully called. The grandma sitting on the stone steps next to her did not answer, exhaling only a long cigarette smoke.

“This time too… I'll be fine, right?”

Since it wasn't the first or second time she was going through a parting.

If there were different types of partings, she thought she had done all of them. A parting after a misunderstanding, a unilateral parting by the other person, a parting due to death, a parting due to an exhausted heart, a parting due to someone's opposition, and so on.

Tears filled the faintly smiling Yoo-hwa's eyes.

“… I actually wanted to hold on to him.”

She confessed with her lips on her knees, worried that someone might hear her.

The moment Woo-hyun, whom she hadn't seen for a few days, appeared in front of her in a suit, she knew that their parting had come. Because the fact that Woo-hyun was unmasked would mean that it was their last time.

Nevertheless, Yoo-hwa tried to find the Woo-hyun she knew in him. If she could see the previous Woo-hyun even just a little, she wanted to hold on to him and delay it.

Tell him that he didn't have to love her, so could he at least show his face once? Tell him that she didn't do anything wrong, so could he just understand her? She wanted to do it, miserably and sadly.

The grandma's gaze, which was staring into space, slowly turned to Yoo-hwa.

Then why did you just let him go?

Chapter end