Don't Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 1 Chapter 8

“They’ve been pranking me since this morning. I was enjoying my beauty sleep when all of a sudden someone yelled that we were ambushed and I rushed out of my tent wearing my breastplate as pants only to be laughed at.”

“Is that so.”

I answered blandly.

“And then and then, this afternoon, we were going to continue marching. But my brigadier general said it was too much trouble! I angrily rebuked her and she said a lot of things I didn’t understand and somehow I ended up having to run one round in the wilderness. But after running for half a day I realised I never found out how far one round was. Just as I was about to return to my brigadier general to protest this I met Xuan De.”

“… It’s lucky you met me. And why did you obediently go and run just like that.”

From what I can see, you probably won’t meet with a favourable outcome even if you go back and protest with that personality of yours.

“That’s right, it’s good I met Xuan De. You have to help me.” Gongsun Zan tugged ln my hand, “You have to help me teach that brigadier general a lesson.”

(TL: Gongsun Zan speaks in a manner that’s a little childish and cute, kind of like how your girlfriend/wife would when she wants you to do something you don’t.)

Why do I have to help…

Hai… But though I don’t know her, Liu Bei does, so I have to take it that I know her?

Un, if it’s some small fry then it should be okay.

“Who is your brigadier general?”

“Some no name officer, Zhao Yun Zhao Zi Long.”

“… I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

“Why!!”

That freaking scared me.

Maybe Gongsun Zan doesn’t know but Zhao Yun is an all rounded talent. He even saved Ah Dou, making fun of Gongsun Zan is nothing.

(TL: Ah Dou is Liu Bei’s son’s courtesy name. In the battle of Changban (Liu Bei vs Cao Cao) Liu Bei was retreating when his wife and son were lost behind enemy lines. Zhao Yun disappeared and returned later with the 2 of them. Yeah, he just went solo behind enemy lines in the face of tens of thousands of hostiles, found a woman and infant in the chaos of battle, AND brought them both back alive.)

Of course, toying me would sure be easy for him. So it’s better not to go, lest I embarass myself.

“Come on, come with me, you can just cheer me on from the side.”

Gongsun Zan said, and grabbed my clothes like a kid who wouldn’t let go of a toy she really wanted.

“Un…” I feel like if I don’t agree she will keep dragging this out. “Alright alright, I’ll go. But I’ll say this first, I can’t help you.”

“Un un, that’s okay. I have the confidence that I can make her speechless.” Gongsun Zan said with gusto as she nodded vigorously.

I really wonder where that confidence came from.

“Ah, that’s right.” I suddenly thought, and pointed to my little sisters. “Before we go, let me introduce you. These are my little sisters, Yun Chang and Yi De.”

Yun Chang and Yi De waved in reply.

“Oh~~~ I didn’t know that Xuan De’s mother was still so energetic and gave you 2 little sisters.”

“… They’re sworn sisters.”

Is she a little soft in the head? Leaving aside Yi De, Yun Chang is and looks about my age so how could we be blood siblings?

“Maa, about the same anyway.” What an easygoing fellow. “Let’s go, we’ll reminisce about good times and reconnect after I teach my brigadier general a lesson.”

“…” I followed Gongsun Zan with my heart full of doubt.

… Actually I really want to ask a question.

Is it really going to be okay?

“Go and stand outside!”

“Ye, yes!!”

Gongsun Zan told us to wait outside the tent for a bit, and it was really for a bitbefore she was chased out by a female voice, and she promptly stood stock still outside the tent.

“U, umm… How was it?” I knew how it went but I still had to ask anyway.

“*Shiku*… *Shiku*… It’s nothing, go in first, I need some fresh air… *Shiku*”

“… Oh.” I was planning to enter the tent, but I couldn’t bear it and patted Gongsun Zan’s shoulders. “Though calling you a brother isn’t quite right, but my brother I feel for you.”

She didn’t say a word, and only nodded.

Who wouldn’t think she looked pitiful on seeing her?

“Big brother, General Gongsun is far too pitiful.”

“I feel there’s a need to speak with the officer in the tent. That’s no way for a brigadier general to treat her lord.”

Yun Chang and Yi De couldn’t watch on and do nothing either.

“What happened? I can’t see too clearly, and I can only hear you 3 talking plus some stranger’s crying.”

“Aiya, Hua Tuo, you can just stay here and chat with the crying person.”

“Oh, I got it… But where is she?” Hua Tuo looked about.

“Right beside you, you’re stepping on her foot.”

“Ah! So, sorry.”

… Let’s leave this aside first. I’m actually very interested in knowing about comrade Zhao Yun as he is likely a future subordinate of mine so the Gongsun Zan now could very well be me in future.

I got a little scared when I thought of this.

Zhao Yun, why can’t you settle things nicely.

I entered the tent with my little sisters as such thoughts filled my mind.

“Oh? So we have guests, and my lord never even said a word about this.” There was a single female general inside, and she got up from her stool and walked over to shake our hands once she saw us. “I am Zhao Zi Long of Changshan. Please forgive me for my poor reception.”

She got yelled out of the tent the moment she came in, how could she tell you…

“… Ah, it’s fine it’s fine.” We returned greetings as well.

But as expected, this woman is Zhao Yun.

She looked slightly older than me, and had good features, with long eyelashes, upturned eyes and a head of rare golden yellow long hair. On one look, you could tell that she was a majestic and upright person.

And thought she wore silver plate like Gongsun Zan, there was an obvious bulge at the right place on the plate that stood out in stark contrast from Gongsun Zan’s plate armour.

“Un? What’s the matter? Ah, you’re looking at this plate armour of mine.” She seemed to have detected my gaze and I quickly shook my head. “This plate armour was forced on me by my lord who likes it for some reason. Is it that bad-looking?”

“Ah, how can that be. It looks much better on you than your lord.”

“Is that so. This is the first time someone is praising me besides my lord, who doesn’t count.” Zhao Yun gave a refreshing smile. “In any case, please have a seat and you can all call me Zi Long.”

As she said so, several soldiers brought stools and we sat down.

Thereafter, we introduced ourselves to Zhao Yun.

“Oh~~~ So you are Liu Bei. Actually I’ve heard of you for a while now, and didn’t think I’d see you in the flesh today.”

“Haa… Are we that famous?”

“Not exactly. It’s because my lord keeps talking about you whenever she can. She always talks about the times when you studied together with her.”

“Ah~~ So that’s why.”

I didn’t think that Gongsun Zan was such a good friend, though I don’t remember such things.

“But speaking of Gongsun Zan, I have something I have to ask.” Seeing the chance to raise the issue, I decided to speak with Zi Long. “Your lord may be a bit silly, but you don’t have to treat her like that right? Even I think she is a bit too pitiful.” I said in a soft voice.

“About this matter…” Zi Long’s smile stiffened and she replied in a soft voice as well. “Actually I’m very worried~~”

“Un? Worried? … What do you mean?”

“You and my lord go back a long way so you understand how she is. Though she is a good person, her ambitions are too lofty and she is too impatient.”

“Haa.”

I didn’t really think of that, and only thought she was a little silly.

“That’s why~~~” Zhao Yun smiled helplessly. “I want to temper her spirits so she can be someone who will accomplish great things.”

“Be that as it may, there has to be limits. It seems like even the rank and file are bullying her.” Yun Chang said with a frown.

“Hahaha, they aren’t bullying her.” Zi Long suddenly laughed. “Listen–”

We perked our ears up at Zi Long’s suggestion.

“Punished again, my lord?!”

“Never you mind! Do what you’re supposed to, go!”

“Aiya aiya, don’t say that.”

“Come my lord, want some water?”

“… I am indeed thirsty.”

“I want to drink too~”

Seems like a conversation between Gongsun Zan and a soldier, though Hua Tuo’s voice seemed to feature at the end as well.

“You under stand now don’t you? Those soldiers are just joking around with her. The relationship between my lord and the troops is actually very good.”

“Hou hou~”

So she’s actually very popular.

But leaving aside Gongsun Zan, what surprised me the most was Zi Long. Though what Gongsun Zan had described before was indeed the truth, it was clear that she did not understand Zi Long’s intentions. Zi Long is actually a really good person, and beautiful to boot.

“Zi Long, you must have had a hard time too, to have to plot and scheme to develop your own lord like this.” I smiled to Zi Long. “You’ve definitely fulfilled your responsibilities as a brigadier general by doing so much.”

“Oh no, those words are too kind of you. Ordering her around is actually quite fun.”

So you did have selfish motives behind your acts!

I said in my heart, not daring to voice them out.

“But really, if I’d met a lord like you from the very beginning, maybe I wouldn’t have had such a hard time.”

“Un? What did you say?” I was too concerned with my tsukkomi inside that I didn’t pay attention and didn’t hear the last sentence.

“Nothing much.”

Zi Long flicked her long golden hair as she smiled, and stood up.

“Un, it’s about time.”

As she said so, she walked to the entrance of the tent and yelled outside.

“My lord!! Come in.”

“Oh~~~” Gongsun Zan hopped in happily. “How was it? Did you enjoy speaking with Xuan De?”

“Un, just as my lord has said. This Xuan De person is good.”

“That’s right that’s right, but his memory isn’t so good, and he almost forgot about me.”

“Ha, haha, I’m really sorry about that.” I don’t actually know who you are.

… But that utterly pitiful expression seems to be completely gone… Was she a very bighearted person? Or was she just a bit soft in the head?

“Speaking of which, what does Xuan De plan to do from now?” Gongsun Zan asked with a hop.

“Me?” I turned to look at my little sisters and they immediately gave me a look that said they didn’t know. And so I could only give a helpless smile, “… Actually, we haven’t decided yet.”

“Really?” She seemed to be elated on hearing my words and moved her face right in front of mine. “Then come with me. We’re heading to Meng De’s camp and all the other feudal lords should have reached. If we start rushing now, we can make it before nightfall.”

Meng De?! It’s Cao Cao!!

(TL: Meng De is Cao Cao’s courtesy name.)

“What is he gathering people for?”

Though I had an answer already, I still asked anyway.

“Dong Zhuo has entered the capital and controls the emperor, and is abusing his power wantonly. 2 days ago, Meng De issued a call to arms to every feudal lord to gather forces and embark on a campaign as a feudal lord coalition to destroy Dong Zhuo.”

“… I see.”

As expected.

But that shouldn’t be the case… I’d have thought Lu Bu would…

“How about it? Coming?”

“Big brother, let’s go. Dong Zhuo has forsaken the law and humanity, we have a just reason to destroy him.”

“Un, there’s also the matter of Lu Bu who was accused. I hate that Dong Zhuo fellow.”

Since Yun Chang and Yi De said this much…

“… Ah, then let’s go.”

I’d thought that Lu Bu would have dealt with Dong Zhuo already but looks like something went wrong… But that’s fine, this way I get to see the legendary Cao Cao.

“Report!!” A signaler came running into the tent. “A general called Lu Bu is asking for an audience with you.”

“Lu Bu? Who is that? Never heard of that person.” Gongsun Zan said.

“What?! Lu Bu?!” I was shocked and ran out of the tent as soon as I recovered.

A majestic and striking coat armour entered my vision the moment I left the tent.

“Feng Xian?!” I called out her name on instinct.

“Xuan De!”

That person had seen me too, and happily ran over. Looking in the direction she came from, I could only see a single person, Zhang Liao Zhang Wen Yuan.

“We had so much difficulty finding you. We were at Anxi county just now but we only saw a female pervert with whip wounds all over her. She harassed us for half a day before saying that you had left not too long ago, and then we quickly left.”

“Ah… You all must have had a hard time, in many ways.”

That Imperial Inspector, to think you have an indiscriminate appetite…

“We’d been rushing for more than a day now, not even stopping for food or sleep, to tell you a very important piece of information.”

Information?

You’ve come this far, just to find me?

I’m really flattered.

“What is it?!” I asked anxiously.

“Ah, though we did lose the cavalry platoon.” She paused, and then proudly said. “But that Dong Zhuo, was ultimately killed by me… Eh? Xuan De? Why are you squatting on the ground?”

“… Please tell me, when did you kill him?” I asked, as I squatted on the floor, in a voice that even I felt was farcical.

“Yesterday.”

Oh my god!! Why was the timing so coincidental?! That means that 1 day after Cao Cao issued a call to arms, Dong Zhuo was dead?! Putting it another way, the Dong Zhuo we are supposed to go and destroy, is already dead?

And the worst thing about this era was that if his subordinates could seal off all news about his death, then how long would it take for us to let the feudal lords know?

I’d thought that Lu Bu didn’t kill Dong Zhuo but who knew that it was actually the speed of information that led to this?

And so, because of this tiny issue with technology, or lack of it, we have to go and kill a person who is already dead.

“Xuan De? What’s the matter?”

“… No, it’s nothing.” I waved my hand and gave a tired smile.

What sort of joke is this…

Chapter end