Chapter 53

I thought it wouldn't be so bad if we were to die together



“Because it is our duty towards the nobles, who have pledged loyalty to the royal family.”



No one opened their mouths at Llewelyn's assertion. Caught in a situation, whose severity greatly exceeded their expectations, the aristocrats swallowed their nervosity with difficulty. Initially, they had only decided to attend this hearing with mild interest, but Llewelyn had since proven to have a keen intellect. Although, at first, they had thought it to be a mere coincidence, people soon realized, thanks to the numerous challenges that kept coming her way, that the princess had indeed a good head on her shoulders.



Under the inauspicious aegis of the previous Queen who had been executed for treason, Llewelyn had assumed her role as the Golden Raven. And yet, although she had been brought down to the ground on multiple occasions, her honor wounded and status debased, her true essence had not changed.



Llewelyn looked over at Pamela, whose face had taken an ashen hue, her blue eyes contrasting with the fire of her hatred.



“Well then, knowing that Your Majesties will take appropriate dispositions regarding this matter, I shall take my leave.”



Llewelyn bowed gracefully and left the audience room, which had fallen silent, without so much as a glance. Tristan looked back and forth between the princess and Pamela, before promptly following after Llewelyn. The reason behind his choice was simple : Llewelyn didn’t have any knight by her side to escort her.



"Sigh."



Llewelyn felt exhausted and had no idea what would happen to her in the future. Of course she hoped that she would be left alone, but now that things were in motion…she probably would not have such luxury. She did not ask for much though, only to live idly, without having to watch her back at all times. Was it so wrong to ask for a simple life?



“Llewelyn!”



She turned her head when she heard a voice affectionately calling her name. It was Ernell.



“Ernell, when did you get here?”



"With such a story circulating in the newspapers, how could you expect me not to come watch its denouement?"



“Were you that eager to see me on my knees?”



Ernell chuckled at Llewelyn’s humorous tone.



“I cannot fathom how you could be willing to prostrate yourself with so little hesitation.”



At that, Llewellyn laughed. Looking at her, Ernell added,



“As I thought, you really are quite fascinating Llewelyn.”



“Me?”



“I thought that I knew everything, but it appears that I was wrong.”



What did he mean by that? Ernell just smiled meaningfully, his gaze falling on Tristan who was standing next to Llewelyn.



“Long time no see, Sir Jayad.”



“Greetings, Your Holiness.”



“Your helping the princess didn’t escape my notice.”



Tristan's impassive red eyes met Ernell’s gaze.



“Her Highness must have felt quite reassured, with you by her side.”



Ernell smiled brightly. Unlike Almondite, who was curiously putting him on edge, the cleric addressed him in a kind manner, as he had done to Llewelyn. Even so, Tristan's stony expression did not soften.



“Ernell.”



"Yes?"



Ernell's eyes turned to Llewelyn, as she called his name.



“Pray tell, would you accept me if I were to announce that I plan to run away to the monastery, right this instant?”



“What are you saying…”



“Well, I knew I would escape there one day, hence why I acted that way earlier. I trusted that you would look after me.”



“Ah, so the confidence you displayed today was because of me?”



“Why yes, I might actually die this time.”



Ernell laughed brightly at Llewelyn's serious joke. The hallway seemed to light up as the handsome man with platinum-haired chuckled. Ernell said mirthfully,



“If Your Highness trust me so, who am I to refuse you. Although I do abhor the very idea of you cloistering yourself.”



Draped in the purple dress, Llewelyn looked like a painting. Ernell began to think that it wouldn't be such a bad thing for her to go to the monastery after all.



If she were to stay somewhere under his jurisdiction...wouldn't she feel blessed if he arranged for her to live without the stuffy rules and restrictions she was used to? He suddenly thought he ought to start looking for a monastery, and vowed to quickly find and kill the miscreant who had cursed Llewelyn.



“How long will you be in the capital?”



“Hmm, in truth, I cannot tarry too much as I have a matter I need to look into, regarding your previous request”, answered Ernell, affably.



"Is that so?"



“Well, I’m sure you can spare me.”



“Of course not, I cannot do without your support!”



A satisfied smile appeared on his lips, as Llewelyn desperately tried to sway him. Ernell noted the sullen expression of the man who was squarely standing behind the princess.



*



“Your Highness.”



Tristan called out to Llewelyn, who had bid Ernell goodbye and was now heading to her chambers. The look on her face, as she turned around to face him, startled the knight. The friendly manners she had manifested in front of Ernell were nowhere to be seen, and now, only a cool expression remained on her face.



She looked like something had upsetted her. Tristan was trying to figure out the reason behind her sudden change of demeanor, when she urged him to say his piece.



“Did something strange happen, perhaps, during the investigation? Or, did I make a mistake earlier?”



"No, Your Highness."



“Then would you mind telling me another time? I feel rather drained at the moment”, stated Llewelyn, punctuating her explanation with a sigh.



She had been standing straight as an arrow, and the tension in her body was only now coming loose. Tristan then realized that Llewelyn hadn’t been mad, only anxious. The corners of his taut lips rose.



“You’ve worked hard, Sir.”



“I believe Your Highness deserves the praise more than I do.”



“…”



“You were truly amazing back there.”



It was a sincere statement, but Llewelyn laughed it off.



“What was so great about that? I merely did my duty as a royal."



“...”



“And in the meantime, I neglected quite a few other important matters that equally needed my attention. Like taking care of the rebellion for instance, or cleaning up the slums. I assure you, I do not deserve your praise.”



“And yet, I shall stand by it.”



Llewelyn's cheeks flushed red. After hearing her actions complimented so many times, she was starting to believe she might indeed have done a good job. It's something anyone could have found out if only they had bothered to investigate properly. Still, it felt great hearing Tristan extol her actions like this.



"If I may ask, do you happen to be close to the High Priest?”



"Pardon? Why are you inquiring about that all of a sudden?"



One is inclined to expect context to a conversation. At the abrupt question, Llewelyn tilted her head.



“Well you see, he already knew about your wish to enter the monastery, which is a secret you have been keeping to yourself, and also because you were smiling at him, which you rarely do.”



There is only one reason for one to ask a question with no relation to the current conversation, and that is when they are truly curious about something. Llewelyn pondered for a moment before answering.



“I merely smiled… because I find Ernell to be quite handsome.”



“…”



"His looks and easy manners just make me smile whenever I see him", explained Llewelyn offhandedly, brushing off the topic.



Wasn’t it the perfect excuse for a woman accustomed to sleeping with different men?



At the thought, Tristan raised his hand and stroked his face. “Why was he acting this way all of a sudden?” Llewelyn thought dully.



*


As soon as she entered the room, she collapsed on her bed. The only thing she wanted now was to relax and not think about anything. She resisted her maids’ kind attempts at conversations, and closed her eyes. But even though fatigue was washing over Llewelyn, her mind remained alert.



Then a knock was heard, causing Llewelyn to open her eyes. The maid announced someone had come to visit her, to which Llewelyn replied to let the guest in, without bothering to ask who it was. She had little doubt as to whom the visitor could be.



As expected, it was Celine Sundblen who came into view. Llewelyn didn't get out of bed even as the Countess made her way into the room. Celine, whom she assumed would wait for a bit in the antechamber, stormed into her bedroom.



“How long are you going to lie down?” Celine asked bluntly.



But Llewelyn didn't respond.



Celine, who had been staring at Llewelyn without saying anything, suddenly jumped onto the bed and laid down next to her. Llewelyn raised an eyebrow as she felt the mattress sink on her right. The maid who had come bearing refreshments, was startled by the Countess’ behavior, watched Llewelyn uncertainly, trying to infer how she’d like to deal with the situation.



“Princess, I am sorry. I didn't expect the Countess to enter your bedchambers...”



"Ease your worries, you couldn’t have done anything anyways. She’s always been like this. Could you please move over?”



Despite the Countess' rudeness, Llewelyn didn't seem very angry. The maid let out a sigh of relief and left the room. When she heard the sound of the door closing behind her, Celine asked cheerfully,



“When did you manage to ingratiate yourself to the servants? The last time I watched you from afar, it seemed that your maids hated your guts.”



“Why do you care?”



Llewelyn asked as if the question was aggravating her. Completely unbothered by her surly answer, Celine continued to lay down next to Llewelyn and looked at her profile.



“It’s been so long.”



“...”



“You know, since the last time we've laid down together like this.”



Celine's voice was strained with longing. Llewelyn sardonically chuckled to herself and replied,



“We did not do this that often.”



“Yes, not often, but still, we did it at times. Once in a while, because the rest of the time you were too busy mingling with the folks from the Biserk household.”



“…”



“For that reason, I used to really hate Almondite” Celine continued.




“Because I liked you. That's right, I did. To be honest, a member of the royal family being friends with the daughter of an average Count? And what’s more, she is expected to become the next monarch? And if that still wasn’t enough, she is also pretty, nice, and elegant, in a word, basically perfect in every way? What reason could I have to dislike you?”



“…What exactly are you trying to say?”



"Could you just listen? I’m trying to tell you how proud I was to have you as my friend.”



Suddenly, that girl who had invaded her space and occupied her bed, was now unbosoming herself. It was baffling, but Llewelyn listened to her until she was done.



Celine, who had been looking at the ceiling, turned her head to face Llewelyn, her gaze burning into her side. However, Llewelyn’s eyes remained on the ceiling, like she was determined to keep ignoring her until the end.



“But still, when that dreadful thing happened, and yet again when Duke Biserk stabbed you in the back…still, I thought you would eventually turn to me for help.”



“…”



“But you never did.”



“…”



“I know what you’ll say, that Pamela was intent on annihilating every last remnant of your influence.”



“…”



Right, how could she have dared ask for help? Everyone around her had been discarded or had perished. In addition, the previous Duke of Biserk had returned their fertile land to the former king as a way to prove their loyalty, and the families close to Llewelyn and her mother had been exterminated.



Llewelyn was a catastrophe for everyone around her. Therefore, how could she have asked for help from her friend who had been with her since childhood? For that reason, although part of her resented Celine, she also couldn’t completely hate her either.



Celine took Llewelyn's hand.



“Back then, I thought it wouldn't be so bad if we were to die together, holding your hand like this.”



Celine's voice was trembling. Hearing the grief seeping from her tremulous voice, Llewelyn painfully closed her eyes. Oddly enough, her resentment started to dissipate.



Did she really think they would die together? Was her naïveté the reason why her frozen heart was starting to melt at Celine’s words?



“I always wondered whether your reluctance to ask for help was due to my lack of power and inability to provide any.”



"I never thought…”



"I know. But I did wonder about it. So could you please be quiet and hear me out till the end? Don’t you think it's time for you to listen to me now?”



“Sure, suit yourself.” Llewelyn replied begrudgingly.



Where did her changeful personality come from? Celine was even more mercurial than Llewelyn herself. But Celine had always been like this, always doing as she pleased, and yet Llewelyn didn’t hate that side of her.



Although Celine had admitted she had enjoyed having a royal as her friend, it didn’t mean that she regarded Llewelyn as an accessory. Besides, even if she did think that way, Llewelyn couldn’t care less. She liked the fact that Celine didn’t mince her words. She was brutally honest and gave her the truth without any embellishment.



“Llewelyn, I know you believed that I had let go of your hand, but remember that you had let go of mine too. You never asked me to die with you."



“…”



“Hence why I decided to focus on my own survival. So this is on you too. ”



Llewelyn was at loss for words. How could she have asked her to die with her? How could she have asked for help? Instead of answering, Llewelyn rose from the bed.



“I’m thirsty. Let’s have some tea.”



It was the first time Llewelyn truly acknowledged Celine’s presence.



*



Llewelyn, drinking her tea with her legs crossed, exuded a calm elegance. Celine furtively glanced at her, being reminded of her past self. The relationship between Celine and Llewelyn was ambiguous, causing the maids to look back and forth between them.



As she lifted the tea that had gone cold to her lips, Llewelyn ran her hand through her tousled hair and asked angrily.



“So, what is it you want to say?”



“Come on, you know very well why I’ve come.”



"Right, you have successfully managed to raise hell during your stay here."



Celine's mouth quirked up at the remark, as Llewelyn went on shooting arrows at her.



"You’re the reason why there’s been such an uproar in the press, aren’t you? Now that I think about it, wasn’t that newspaper, the one that covered this scandal most assiduously, created three years ago…?”



Celine grinned, a triumphant expression on her face. Llewelyn frowned. Right, she knew what the Countess was playing at. She too had reappeared, just like Almondite, after gaining strength.



“I wanted to help, but you didn’t seem quite receptive.”



Llewelyn responded brusquely to Celine's words.



“I see…Well then let me reiterate : I do not intend to become a pawn in that little game of yours.”



"Sure. Do as you please.”



Celine smiled mischievously, but Llewelyn's expression remained stiff. Looking at the princess, her smile undeterred, Celine inquired,



“Are you still mad at me, Llewelyn?”



“I am not angry anymore. I was moved when you told me you wished you could have helped me, and I’m thankful for that.”



She was earnest in her gratitude. When she heard Celine's confession on her bed earlier, Llewelyn realized that she wasn't the only one who had been lonely during that painful time. And even though it was ridiculous, she had been touched by that admission.



In truth, she had even felt a certain tug at her heartstrings, when she found out that Celine's request to find the culprit behind these deaths had been part of her plan. She was thrilled, true, but her stirring the embers… Suddenly, a chilling thought crossed her mind.



“But still, I’ll strike you once nevertheless”, said Llewelyn affectionately.



Then she raised her hand and slapped Celine.


A loud noise resonated across the room, but even the throbbing of her hand did not disturb Llewelyn's breathing. It happened to occur right when her maids came back to bring new refreshments.



The princess had slapped a noble?!



The maids looked at each other in sheer shock, as Celine's cheek was taking a crimson hue. Llewelyn's hand, unsurprisingly, started to swell as well. Celine absent-mindedly reached for her cheek, before slowly asking,



“Ah, do you plan to put your resentment behind you with one last angry blow?”



“I’m not done yet.”



Llewelyn raised her hand and slapped her other cheek. Celine realized then that Llewelyn was seething. Why was she suddenly slapping her, looking ever so serene?! What had caused this abrupt loss of temper?!



“Why are you being like this all of a sudden?”



“If you were using me, doesn’t that mean that you already knew the truth beforehand?”



Aaah, Llewelyn! What a charming friend she had! Celine's cheeks were glowing red.

Chapter end