Because I've Been Reincarnated As A Girl I Just Want To Do Yuri Things, But Things Aren't Going Well Chapter 27

T/N: So, this chapter is full of the author's failure to research properly and propagate terrible myths and misconceptions about Medieval Ages hygiene, and also the origins and original uses of high heels, top hats, sunroofs, and parasols. This chapter is going to involve a LOT of discussion about human waste and waste disposal, so, like the author warned, if you've got a weak stomach or have just eaten, skip reading some parts as soon as you feel uneasy.

I've been dreading this chapter because it would require a lot of research and footnotes. I still love the series but this is a huge black mark on it.

If you want to skip all of that, just go to the latter half of this chapter after the page break.

It's been about 3 months since I left Carruzan. Excluding the time spent traveling to the royal capital and the number of days until my knighthood, it's been a little over 2 months since I was assigned to the Royal Guard Division.

“What's wrong, Floto? Ya already tired of seeing the royal capital?” Claudio asked.

Claudio and I were walking silently together, she asked that while looking at my face. Since I was assigned to the Royal Guard Division, I've been with Claudio more often. I soon found out that Claudio was 1 year older than me, but even in the Royal Guard Division, people who were close in age were often paired together. And maybe that's why we're together on our off-time. We are still walking around the royal capital together like this.

“No… it's not like that, you know?”

I tried to follow Claudio's example and try to speak less refined and more gruff and manly. I can't speak in such a way that I can't completely hide my foundation of etiquette training, but by toning it down a little, it shouldn't be a problem.

“Really? Because you didn't look too happy about something, yeah?” Claudio said.

“I'm fine,” I said. “Don't worry about it…”

That's what I said to Claudio but, I honestly don't like walking around the royal capital. That's because…….

Here's one thing… do you know this kind of history from Earth? In ancient times, Babylonia, the Indus, and Ancient Rome had water, sewage, and toilets. However, when the Western Roman Empire fell in the 5th century, toilet culture declined in Europe and almost disappeared.

After that, until the concept of 19th-century hygiene with the redevelopment of water, sewage, and toilet systems, even the so-called advanced European countries lived in towns covered in human waste. 1

There are no public toilets and no toilets at home. 2 People, whether they were royalty or commoners, would have to go to use chamber pots. 3 There was no sewer system to flush the waste out, so we had to go down to the ditches in the roads and throw out the pot's contents in the designated place. But of course, some people couldn't be bothered with such troublesome things, so they threw the contents out the window and toward the street. 4

On the other hand, depending on the building, there was some construction that had the upper floors protruding past the first floor into the street, and it was natural for them to be emptied from the upper floors.

You could imagine a stylish cafe with a sunroof in the streets of Europe. That sunroof was put on to keep manure from falling down on the cafegoers. And the reason why the gentlemen were wearing top hats and cape and the ladies were using parasols were to protect from human waste falling from above. 5

Many centimeters or even tens of centimeters of them piled up in the alleys, and on rainy days, they clogged the drains and overflowed into the road, filling the area with mud and waste. 6 High heels were originally made for men to walk in such places. 7 And it's not just about the commoners living in town.

There were no toilets in the royal palace, and there were nobles and servants who carried around their own chamber pots, and if they wanted to, they would go to the bathroom whether it was inside the building or in the garden. 8 The European dress that women long for, a hoop skirt with a flared skirt, is made so that you can do your business while standing. 9

Even in teaching etiquette, they are taught to do so as soon as they feel the urge to urinate. Whether it's in the garden or in a building, you stand in hoop skirts and drip everywhere. 10 And it was considered bad manners to call out to someone who was using the toilet. It seems that it is good manners to pretend not to see it. 11

Even in the royal palace, the manure pile was stacked high. The reason why I often left the royal palace was because I couldn't live in it, it was covered in human waste, smelly, and unsanitary. 12

Perfumes and herbs were developed in Europe to disguise those odors, 13 and it was said that “the queen is so beautiful that she even takes a bath once a month.” 14

In such an environment, it is natural that epidemics such as plague and cholera have spread in Europe many times due to unsanitary conditions. After experiencing such epidemics many times and the industrial revolution, the construction of water supply, sewage, and toilets was finally put into full swing in England and France. 15

By the way, in Japan, something similar to flush toilets have been created and maintained for a long time and chimigami was widely available, so it was used to wipe. 16

Water supply and sewage systems have become quite popular, and even in places that at first glance seem to be ordinary wells dug until groundwater comes bubbling up, they had been carried in through irrigation canals made of wooden pipes buried underground. There are many such technologies created.

Also, in Japan, the disposal of “night soil” is advanced and it was used as fertilizer, so it was properly scooped up and treated appropriately. Japanese people's love of cleanliness is not a new thing, but a trait that has been handed down long ago. 17

Why did I say this all out of the blue? You know without me having to spell it out for you, right?

Yes! In short, the royal capital of the Kingdom of Ploiss is extremely unsanitary, even if it is not as bad as the real medieval Europe mentioned above. 18 The main street we're walking on is fine, but if you go down a small alleyway, various things are washed away in the drainage ditches in the middle of the road, clogging it up, overflowing, and emitting a bad smell. 19

Unlike Earth's medieval Europe, the main streets aren't quite to that level yet, but it's probably a matter of magic, monsters, and population. It seems that the collected manure is magically burned in the royal capital. Since the main street is also the face of the country, officials prioritize cleaning it and burning waste with magic at the disposal sites. 20

In addition, it seems that there are monsters that eat such things as human waste, for better or worse. It's said that even in medieval Europe, pigs would be fed byproducts from other pigs, but they would continue to excrete waste, it would pile up, and monsters would go there to eat it, too.

And the Kingdom of Ploiss is still poor and sparsely populated. Of course, by the standards of this world, it is neither poor nor underpopulated. It just means that they are poor and few compared to modern earth. The smaller the population, the fewer things will be produced.

The royal capital is in a terrible state, but as for Carruzan, Carruzan was still clean. Of course, it has a smaller population than the royal capital, but above all, the reason is that public toilets are installed and the wastewater is drained properly.

House Carruthers may have had knowledge about sanitary systems, or it may be due to empirical evidence from problem-solving, or it may be the technology and information of other countries because it is at the forefront of the borders with other countries, but my ancestors have set up public toilets and properly emptied them to use as fertilizer, though the processing system to do so is in its immature, earliest stages. Still, thanks to that, even the slums are not overflowing with human excrement.

I never thought that I would come to another world and be tormented by such a filthy reality. No, it's a world far behind the modern earth, so it's only natural that there should be such a problem. 21

Well, the main street and the shops along the road are still better. If you want to go sightseeing in the royal capital, you can only walk on the main street. You have to be prepared that if you take a step back, you won't be able to get your feet back out unscathed…

“I knew something was wrong, yeah?” Claudio said. “What's going on?”

Claudio looks at my face again because I was so upset. Claudio is cute. She looks average and not particularly attractive, but how do I describe her… should I say? Like a playful puppy?

“Ah~… Let's go to the training ground soon,” I said. “The Commander will yell at us again.”

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“Geh!” Claudio cried. “It's already that time… Floto, you'd be fine, right? You're already a knight, so you're on equal footing with the division commanders, right? I'm just a squire…”

It's easy to forget because I'm only talking casually, but I'm already a full-fledged knight and Claudio is just a squire. Originally, we would not be allowed to talk like this because of our ranks. But I asked Claudio to talk normally to me, and she obliged. Even if we try to speak in stiff, formal, terms, I will only get tired of it.

Claudio and I finished our patrol of the royal capital and hurried to the royal castle's training ground.

I watch the Royal Guard Division training from a corner of the training ground. Even though I've healed quite a bit, my right arm is still not perfectly well. I am on a separate training regime from the other members because I am slowly adjusting as well as rehabilitation.

My eyes follow Claudio, who is training together with the adult members. Claudio von Frieden, no, her real name is Claudia von Frieden. Both Claudio and Claudia have the same etymology, but the difference is whether it is a male name or a female name. I found out after asking Helmut to investigate Claudio.

This world has a subtle closeness with Earth. 22 Besides, for some reason, the names of places that exist on Earth but not in this world are included in the names of people, which makes me feel strange. On Earth, there are many cases where the names of aristocrats' Houses are their birthplaces. In this world, there are names that are very similar to those on Earth, but there are no cities or places with similar names. I feel something strange about it.

Well, putting that aside, Claudio, no, Claudia is treated as a man. I don't know if she's registered as a man or a woman in the official records of the Kingdom of Ploiss, but at least we've worked together well so far, and the Guards Division and everyone around us treat Claudia as a man.

Of course, since we're talking about the name of a woman named Claudio, it's possible that someone who at first thought she was a girl might think she was a man after hearing her name and treat her like a man. But why is she pretending to be a man? There's the problem.

The Frieden family are knights without hereditary rights. Claudia was originally the only daughter of the Frieden family. However, Claudia calls herself Claudio and pretends to be a man, and she even becomes a squire to join the Imperial Guard Division.

Even if it is a knight's family without hereditary rights, if the child can enter the Imperial Guard Division or the Crown Guard, the child will also be awarded a knightly peerage and the next generation will be safe. But that is only when the child is male.

In this world, there are special skills such as magic, so I think there are more female soldiers than there are on Earth, but they are still a minority overall. Not to mention the fact that there are very few women who are given a peerage, just like on Earth. The fact that I was knighted is a rare case. Furthermore, it is unlikely that women will join the knightly orders.

There are cases where women have seats as knights for ceremonies and the like, but they are only for ceremonies and honorary purposes and do not actually fight in the army. It's more special that I'm joining the Royal Guard Division.

Considering this, I have a feeling that Claudia is trying to pretend to be a man and receive a knighthood in order to keep her family alive. Of course, I haven't heard it from the person herself, and I don't have any evidence. It's just my hunch, or rather, my thoughts.

But if you think about it that way, it makes a lot of sense. Pretending to be a man even though you are a woman. Someone on the cusp of joining the Royal Guard Division. I can only conclude that when I think about it.

She's actually a ten-year-old girl, but for the sake of her family, she fakes her own gender and does her best… when I think that, she's somehow cute and reckless, and it makes me a bit nervous.

“Fuu! You have it so good, eh, Floto?! All you do is easy training because you're injured,” Claudia said as she walked over to my corner, sweating and puffing up her cheeks.

“Good work,” I said, putting a towel on her head and wiping her up a bit with both hands.

By the way, the towels here aren't as good as the towels on earth. It might be better to think of it as a cloth for wiping sweat.

“Wah!” Claudia yelled. “The hell are you doing all of a sudden?!”

She looked surprised and stepped back. Her face is a little red. Is she weak to skinship?

“Is that really so shocking?” I said. “Why don't you rest here, yeah?”

Then, I hold Claudia's shoulder and invite her to the bench in the corner. But I got an unexpected response.

“He-Hey, stop that!”

Claudia shakes off my hand. Apparently, I was too intimate and she hated it.

I finally… thought I would finally be able to hang out with a girl, but it seems like I was too touchy and made her disgusted.

“Sorry……” I said

“Oh… no… I'm sorry…” Claudia said, averting her gaze with a dark expression.

A delicate atmosphere flows between us two.

“What is this, what is this?! Are you two touchy-feely brats always going to have your little lover's quarrels?!”

That was Horst, the Commander who can't read the atmosphere, and tosses in a bomb between us. At that, Claudia glared at him and got mad.

“Who's touchy-feely?!” Claudia yelled. “Don't call it a lover's quarrel! It's disgusting!”

GAAAHHHNNNN……. 23

Disgusting… it's disgusting, huh…? Yeah, that's right… maybe it would be weird to be so touchy-feely with someone of the opposite sex.

I'm a guy inside, so Claudia might feel like we're people of the opposite sex. However, if you consider how I am seen by and act in the world at large, I am unmistakably a woman in this life, and I am of the same sex as Claudia. If I'm touchy-feely like that, it wouldn't be weird.

“… Sorry,” I said.

That was all I could say as I left the training ground.

Footnotes

Chapter end