Ball of Nothing 117 Village Life 4

"Are they nearby? I heard someone coughing..."

"Don't worry about it," Vrald grinned. "You can hear a lot of things from the underground passage. They're not far but they're not that near either. Sound travels a lot faster and clearer underground after all."

Zero didn't question it and followed the path out the tunnels, past the farm. There was a small quarry behind the special living quarters that he didn't see before. As they passed by the special quarters, the brunet waved to Grandma Moppo who was having tea with Amaraline.

"Are you visiting the lab?" she asked and Zero smiled.

"Yes, I am. There was an explosion earlier. Is everyone alright?"

Amaraline giggled. "Don't worry, it's just Raj and one of his crazy experiments again. Also, you should come over for dinner. Brother and uncle would be pleased to have you."

Zero beamed. "Ok!"

Vrald led them around the cliff to a small hill. During the walk upslope, Zero wondered if the workshop turned lab was very far. The explosion sounded very loud and Zero became worried as they walked into the forest again.

"Is the lab very far?" he asked.

Vrald hummed. "It's not far if you can fly. However, not everyone can do that or climb the cliff so we have to take the longer route."

Zero blinked and recalled the only two people he knew could take the shortcut. "Wouldn't it be bad if somebody attacked the village from this side?"

Gerald laughed. "Oh, you don't have to worry about it. Raj and Wiser have done some real modifications to this area so if it's one of the most secure places in the village. It's also the main reason why the special accommodations are where they are. Raj's creations may not always work but when they do, they're something not to be trifled with."

"That quarry you saw earlier is one of the escape paths. There's a stronghold near the workshop and a secret route to the farm through the well in case of a raid. Wiser may be an oddball but he's very good at what he does."

Zero smelled the muddy waters of the swamp as they walked and frowned. Were they leaving the forest?

"There it is," Vrald grinned. Zero smelled smoke in the mix and wrinkled his nose. The air smelled funny, full of iron, sulphur and some other weird chemicals. He couldn't see what Vrald was pointing at until they got closer.

The workshop was a small cottage made of stone and wood. The sides of the stone walls were green with moss so it was difficult to tell. The house blended so well with the swampish forest that Zero believed it wouldn't be spotted by the enemies easily. Even without magic, it did well to hide of sight. There were vines climbing all over the thatch roof and if it wasn't for the black smoke coming out from it, Zero wouldn't have spotted the workshop.

"I told you that it wouldn't work. Now look what you've done!" a soot-faced pixie-sylph yelled. She was covered in black soot from head to toe. Zero couldn't tell her gender if it weren't for her voice. The map didn't detect her presence and even if she did, it wouldn't tell Zero her gender.

The pixie-sylph had emerald green eyes and short pixie-bob hair. She was dusting soot from her wings and Zero winced when she sneezed. Beside her was a fat dwarf who laughed heartily with a rumble in his voice. The dwarf was also covered in soot except for one eye that was covered with a monocle. He polished the monocle and grinned.

"At least ye know now it's a dud."

"That's Hyelin the pixie-sylph and Tambolt our dwarven blacksmith. The man groaning at the doorway is Raj the inventor and the human behind him is Wiser," Gerald introduced.

Zero blinked. Raj looked very sick and dashed behind to puke rainbows. Wiser didn't seem to be affected very much even though he was also covered in black soot from head to toe.

"Experiment #166.8. Result - Failure. Reason: Overheated and exploded when Chemical Agent Y reacted with Chemical Agent ZS. Notes for future reference: Reduce chemical quantities by 500% for lab scale testing."

Zero blinked. He understood that it was common language. However, the man spoke it in such a weird fashion that threw the brunet off badly. Zero simply stood rooted to the ground and stared at the tall yet thin man. He spoke in a high and nasally voice while coughing badly. Zero didn't think that his cough wasn't entirely caused by the soot. According to what he learnt, it sounded like a cough caused by the infection of the air tubes in the lungs. From the looks of it, Wiser must have been experiencing these coughs for a long time now. He'd have to ask Hua Tuo about it to be sure.

"I see that you've all been busy," Gerald greeted as they got nearer.

Hyelin stopped bickering with Tambolt and blinked. "Oh, we have guests! That's rare. I'll bring tea," the pixie chirped then turned to Zero and flew right up in his face, startling him.

"Hmm, you look human but don't smell like one. Oh well, that's fine. Wiser hates humans so be sure to clarify that with him. Also, please don't mind the mess. Raj will be here soon enough..." she glanced back at the still retching half-djinn and grimaced.

"On second thoughts," she turned back to the dragon descendants. "Could you give us a moment? We'll clear out the workshop really soon."

Zero nodded and the pixie flew off, dishing out orders left and right. The brunet decided that they were an odd bunch. Hyelin looked like she owned the place, scolding everyone who did things wrong.

"Don't sweep the floor first! Dust the shelves or the soot will dirty the ground again!"

"Do you have no brains? You can't use a dry cloth to get the soot off... you need water!"

"Don't use the blower! It'll just mess up the places we've cleaned! And don't touch the siphoner. That project hasn't been tested."

Zero laughed weakly as the chaos escalated. Vrald and Gerald bailed, not wanting to get roped in to help with the cleaning. The brunet didn't quite know where to start as everyone started arguing over his head.

"Project Super Siphon is perfect! We should take this chance to test it out!"

"Don't be ridiculous! Do you want to make things worse than what it already is?"

"What could be worse than this? Even the tea set is covered in soot. There's no harm in using it!"

"The two of you should learn how to SHUT UP AND LISTEN! Soot is a POWDER and can only be removed with CHEMICALS."

Zero grimaced and quietly sneaked away from the four-way crossfire. He went back down to Grandma Moppo's house and asked for a bottle of white vinegar.

"Oh dear, are they fighting again?"

Zero nodded. "They're cleaning the soot but can't agree on a good way to do it. I thought that I would try help. I've seen master use vinegar and water to clean it off once when I accidentally burnt the kitchen."

Grandma Moppo chuckled and gave Zero a bottle of white vinegar. "Let me know if you need help. Also, Hua Tuo mentioned that he will be here for dinner so don't stay too late. Those lab enthusiasts can be so engrossed in their experiments that they forget to eat half the time. Be sure to remind them for me, won't you?"

Zero grinned and thanked Grandma Moppo before hurrying off with the promise to be back for dinner and remind the quarrelling company when it is time to go.

Zero arrived at the workshop by following the sounds of Hyelin's yelling and Tambolt's laughter. The workshop didn't look any less sooty than it did when he left. Thankfully, the soot had settled and Zero wondered if it was possible to test his cleaning magic.

"Mii, is it possible to absorb this bottle of vinegar and mix it with the absorbed water to clean the workshop?"

Mii calculated the possibilities and reported, "Yes, it is possible. However, due to the nature of the mess and property in the workshop, gentle cleaning is recommended."

"Gentle cleaning?"

"The usual method of washing out the house or high-pressure water jet sprays are not recommended. Water bubbles infused with clean water and vinegar are recommended to go over the affected areas. It is easier to rid of the soot inside water bubbles controlled with magic than throwing it out and washing it away. Will that be acceptable?"

Zero thought about it and frowned. "Why didn't we use the water bubble method when cleaning master's house?"

Mii scoffed. "Master should learn how to clean his own house."

At his strawcherry friend's answer, Zero wanted to faint. No wonder cleaning magic didn't work before! Mii simply didn't intend to clean... she intended to destroy Hua Tuo's house.

"Mii, we need to talk after this. For now, let's start cleaning before things become more out of hand."

The strawcherry assistant didn't say much in Zero's mind but Zero knew she would've stuck out a tongue if she materialised.

Zero started cleaning the outside of the hut and the chimney while Hyelin continued to yell. He moved on stealthily to the insides of the workshop and started on the ceiling before making progress on the furniture and walls.

By the time the pixie realised it, the workshop was almost completely free of soot.

"Wh-what?"

Zero smiled. "Just give me a few more minutes and it will be done. I'm afraid I can't return that bottle of white vinegar Grandma Moppo gave me... I've used almost all of it cleaning this soot."

Raj looked at Zero in fascination and Hyelin gaped. Tambolt was equally stunned and his jaw hung open. Wiser only observed Zero with both interest and caution. The brunet remained oblivious to it all and continued to clean. Once the workshop was sparkling clean, Zero offered to help clean the sooty lab mates with his magic. Only Wiser refused, insisting that he wanted a bath.

"Young Zero, we will meet again," he said and left promptly.

Zero had a lot of questions but didn't have time to think when Hyelin demanded to be cleaned first. Once all three lab members are squeaky clean, Zero took a good look at everyone.

Raj was a half-gnome and half-djinn so he looked very different. The inventor was stubby like any ordinary gnome but he had a wisp instead of legs and had eyes that glowed white. Zero didn't know what to think of a djinn that didn't live in a lamp. The half-djinn had a crooked nose, white beard, no hair and wore a white lab coat. Raj spoke with an accent that curled his 'r's a lot so Zero found it challenging to understand.

"Young Zero! Good to finally see you and thank you for saving our lab. Here is your lab coat… we had Mitchnew stitch this really quickly. You are now officially lab member 20070, be impressed!"

Zero couldn't reject the lab coat when Raj dumped it on his head and launched into an energy-pumped tour of their tiny stone cottage called "The Lab".

"Here, we have the magnificent ZambCooker 4000! It works really well and sets fire to animals, giving them a brilliant slightly charred roast. I highly recommend tomato paste with the meat, it's scrumptious. Although please keep in mind that Zoe might not appreciate it. The woman has talent but only in the kitchen with no eye for scientific beauty."

Zero glanced at the strange metallic cylinder and cringed at the fire that came out when Raj pulled the trigger. Hyelin wore her goggles and applauded. Zero noted that the pixie's hair was actually red and she had freckles on her cheeks. If she wasn't so crazy, Zero might think that she was a beauty.

Tambolt looked smug when Raj demonstrated the disaster called ZambCooker 4000. Zero vaguely wondered I there was any sane lab member but gave up hope as the demonstration dragged on.

After the eleventh prototype demonstration, Zero felt weary. The sun was going down and all he'd seen were the failed experiments that everyone seemed so proud of. Many of them spelt disaster and had wacky names like "Crow Spanner", "Pigeon Cannon" or "Yellow Tail Curler". Zero had a very different image of the man behind the ingenious pulley system and was completely disillusioned.

"I have a question."

"Yes, lab member 488552?" Raj beamed.

"It's actually 20070 but I wanted to ask if you were the creator of the pulley system."

Raj paused and the white glow in his eyes dimmed to one with a bluish tint. "Yes, it was. The pulley is something created for Grandma Moppo and Amaraline to move around with greater ease. Unfortunately, I couldn't create anything to help Grandma Moppo walk without her staff or eyes for Amaraline to see again. I'm a failure of an inventor just like how I was a failure of a djinn..."

Zero was puzzled when the crazy mood changed. Did he step on a landmine? Also, a failure of a djinn? He had so many questions but couldn't ask them with Raj looking so sad.

It was Hyelin who broke the tension. "Come on, you were never a full djinn to begin with. They couldn't fault you for having stronger gnome blood. Who needs magic when you have inventions? I can't imagine having to wait for Latitia to come help water the crops with magic when the plants are dying. I'd rather water them myself and thanks to your water pump in the well, even Rima can do it if Latitia was absent."

"That's right, old fren. Don't think about the past so sadly. We're glad to have ya 'er. Couldn't imagine not having someone needing me skills to pound the iron."

Raj smiled and the glow in his eyes brightened.

"Oh stop it! You make me shy... why do you do this? I hate you fools so much!" He giggled.

Zero was stumped by the complete change of mood. His brain couldn't grasp what was happening but like Hua Tuo said, still waters ran deep. Still, he was happy to see the odd bunch getting along so well even though they were at each other's throats earlier over the soot.

"Ya know, Zero? Ya have the smell of an inventor."

Zero blinked. "Pardon?"

The dwarf smiled. "I may be a blacksmith but I can smell it. You love finding answers to questions, don't ya?"

Zero swallowed. "Yes?"

Hyelin flew over and tackled the brunet to the ground, hugging him tightly. "I knew it! If you want, you could live in this village with us. We have lots and lots of projects and experiments that could use your help. You could even start your own projects!"

Zero smiled and gently pushed Hyelin away. "I'm sorry but I've already decided to become a doctor. I want to travel and discover new treatments and illnesses. I want to save as many lives as I can."

Raj pouted. "That's sad. Well, I suppose it makes sense. You wouldn't become Hua Tuo's apprentice if you didn't. I just thought you'd be a great inventor like us. We want to help improve lives with our inventions, although as you can see from what happened earlier, not everything we do work all the time."

Zero laughed. "Do the things you make always explode?"

Tambolt thought about it. "Half the time, it does. The other half, we make things like the Sky Bridge and the water pump."

Hyelin brought out some bars of nice smelling things and shoved them under Zero's nose. "We do floral scented soaps too in our spare time. A lot of things that you see in the village were created by us. The hunting traps, the spears... Clowis' secret talon guards for battle purposes as well. Don't tell anyone we told you this, Clowis would die of shame."

Zero blinked. Those were actually great inventions that helped and Zero wondered how the same inventors could create things like the ZambCooker 4000 and the Sky Bridge.

"Ya must be wondering how we could make things like the water pump and the Pigeon Cannon at the same time. Well, to tell ya the truth, it's an inventor thing. When the creativity hits, it's like an itch ya can't get rid of until ya scratch it. None of those ya see 'er are real inventions. Think of it as a toy. However, these are toys that can kill a man so ya gotta be careful whose hands they land in. Don't want no Count coming with the Pigeon Canon wrecking the village, do we?"

Hyelin shot Tambolt a reprimanding look when Zero asked who the Count was.

Tambolt's face hardened and looked away. "Sorry, Young Zero. I've said too much. You best get back to yer master before he cuts our necks and maybe have Soon stitch them back together."

Hyelin smiled and offered to bring Zero back to Grandma Moppo's hut. "Thank you for helping to clean the soot, we would've taken forever if you didn't help."

Zero smiled warmly. "The pleasure is mine. I've learnt a lot today, can I keep the coat?"

The pixie-sylph grinned. "Of course, lab member 20070! Although you're not a permanent member, you'll always be one of us. You might be a doctor but we know on the inside, you have the spirit of an inventor. If you need any help from us, just let us know. It doesn't matter what it is, we'll do our best to make it come true."

Zero thought about it. They were nearing the cliff and Grandma Moppo was waiting just around the corner.

"In that case, could I trouble the lab to help create medical tools in the future? I imagine that it would be very useful when I'm on my travels."

Hyelin grinned. "That depends on how much you're willing to pay! We can do it, no biggie but only if the price is right. Since I like you so much, I can put it on your tab for now until you grow big enough to start earning money."

Zero laughed. He knew there'd be a catch somewhere. Hyelin smiled at the cheerful brunet. Wiser would like the kid.

"Alright, we're here. Don't keep Granny waiting for too long. Come over anytime alright?"

Zero grinned and waved as Hyelin left again. He walked the remaining distance to Grandma Moppo's hut and knocked on the door. His stomach was growling as the sun set. It had been a long but fulfilling day. Now that he knows how to clean using magic that didn't destroy a house, Zero was ready to bargain with his hard-headed teacher.

Chapter end