Alice mare Vol Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Good Night

1 

The long, white hallway went on. Every step echoed for long after I took it. 

As this went on unchanging for a while, I felt indescribable anxiety and helplessness. The place I was in earlier, I saw people who looked like workers here and there, but now there were absolutely no signs of life. The total silence only added to my unease. 

This town, situated next to a large forest, was a bustling place with lots of people. Fairly large, albeit not enough to be called a city. Compared to the forest, where many families lived modest, meager lives, everyone here lived much more bountifully. 

Now I was walking down the hallways of a large hospital built in the center of that town. Last night, my friend who worked here as a doctor gave me a call: “I’ve got a kid here at the hospital I want you to inspect.” 

“Hey! Long time no see.” 

With a lively shout, someone grabbed my shoulder from behind. I turned around to a man in a white coat with a good-natured, freckled face topped with chestnut hair. 

“Glad I got the idea to come looking for you. …So you got lost again, huh?”, asked Cliff - my only friend - with a little smile. 

“…I guess I’m just not good at remembering places or directions. Ever since I started living there, I’ve only come to town for… just grocery shopping, I suppose.” 

“Sure, but you’ve been living here for way longer, so… Well, yeah, you’ve gotten lost a lot of places ever since we met in college…” Cliff’s forehead wrinkled, and he knit his brows. 

“…Anyway, I still can’t get over how you decided to buy that place and live there. There’s always been weird rumors about it. You know? Like it being a mental hospital, or a place for human experimentation… I heard it all.” 

“I have you to thank for that. And yes, it’s an odd place. No windows, and one of the rooms does lend itself to those kinds of stories. But I have to say I like it, because people’s reluctance to come near means it’s quiet.” 

“When you get right down to it, it’s my fault, huh. …So, what of that room, anyway? You mean the one on the second floor, down the left hall?”, Cliff asked me, showing a bit of hesitation. 

“I didn’t even want to so much as clean it up, so I just left it as it was and locked the door.” 

His forehead seemed to scrunch up even further at my reply. He gave a little sigh, and we were both silent a while. 

“…So, the kid I was telling you about. You know that burglary that happened in town? He’s that couple’s kid. No other siblings, it looks like,” Cliff explained with a bit of gloom. 

“…And what happened to his parents when they were attacked?” 

Cliff just shook his head silently. When I saw the story on the news, all they said was “The two are in serious condition and are being treated at the hospital.” But his face told me that in the end, they couldn’t save either one. 

“First things first, could you try talking with him? I already tried, but… it didn’t go too well.” 

He began leading me in the opposite direction of where I’d been heading. Worried for Cliff, who looked so full of grief, I walked in behind. 

There had been frequent incidents in this town as of late. While the specifics varied, the suspects and culprits made statements along the lines of “It felt like something took control of me…” Even newspaper and TV reports had begun to focus more on those statements than the actual details of the incident. 

On our way to the boy who he said was in the hospital’s care, Cliff told me all he knew. 

The burglary had taken place two days ago. The suspect visited a house in a residential district near the library - the Llewellyn residence - and attacked the couple living there, stabbing them repeatedly with a knife. That was the whole story. There was no indication of any money or items being stolen, and no visible motive. All the suspect had to offer was illogical testimony - that he felt like he was possessed, that he heard a voice. 

The Llewellyn family had a child, but he was out while the incident was occurring. By the time he returned home and found his mutilated parents, the suspect had already absconded. 

Afterward, a neighbor found the boy unconscious outside the front door of the residence. When they ran over in worry, they noticed the tragedy inside and called the police. 

“It must’ve been a huge shock. Other than his name, he says he doesn’t remember anything, not even about the incident or his family.” 

“Amnesia…?” 

Cliff looked to me and nodded, dropping pace slightly. He seemed to notice that I was out of breath. Though I felt pathetic for it, I also slowed down. 

“I haven’t told him his parents have passed on yet. It’d confuse him too much as this point. And he doesn’t have any other relatives… You give care and counsel to kids when incidents leave them with nowhere to go, right?” 

Leaving a slight pause, I quietly confirmed with a nod. 

“This is my second such request, but I hope you’ll accept it… Will you take him to your place? I’ll call if I find any relatives or caretakers for him.” 

I put my hand to my forehead and thought deeply. 

Currently, I had four children in my care at the facility. As far as finances, adding one more wouldn’t be a big problem. But another object of study would mean more work. I’d have to make my decision based on his condition… 

Before I could come to a conclusion, a boy appeared before me, no doubt the one I’d been hearing about. He was politely sitting alone on a sky-blue bench in the hallway. 

Blond with a white shirt. With his head lowered, I couldn’t tell his expression. Below that, black pants. His suspenders and long blue-and-white striped socks stood out the most. 

His gaze wasn’t directed at me, but deep into the pages of a thick book on his lap. His large eyes went left to right, again and again. He seemed engrossed in reading. I watched him for a while, yet he showed no notice of my presence. 

I went around to his front. After getting down on my knees to be at the same eye level, the boy finally lifted his face. He was slightly pale, and looked at me with concern. I hadn’t been able to see before, but it seemed a little bit of life had left his clear blue eyes. 

I’d had a hunch, but… He was on the verge of emergence. 

I took a breath to conceal my utmost surprise. Then I put my hand to my chest and smiled lightly. 

“Hello,” I greeted the boy. 

2 

There was the sound of running water. In this situation, I couldn’t stand the unease of being in silence. 

…What were my mother and father’s faces like? How old were they? Did they get mad easily? What kind of house did we live in? …What was I doing then? 

Even the smallest thing would have helped. I desperately went looking for something I might remember, but I found nothing. All it got me was emptiness and a sense of loss, like I was trying to catch a cloud in the sky. 

I took a deep breath and looked at the person in front of me. He was kind of short, with slightly frizzy hair. Blue eyes. I gave him my right hand, and he gave his left in response. So, apparently, this person in the mirror was me. 

At the same time I felt a sense of comfort that I was alive, I felt anxious about my lack of conviction that the person in the mirror was me. 

“Allen Llewellyn…” 

I mumbled my own name. It was the only clear memory I had when I came to. 

I woke up in a hospital bed. I couldn’t remember what happened before as much as I tried. I asked the policeman and the brown-haired doctor all sorts of things about my family, my mom, my dad, but the only thing I could get an answer about was my name. 

I twisted the knob to stop the faucet, and the sound stopped with a squeak. I left the bathroom, and decided to return to where I’d been before. 

I went back to the bench I’d been sitting on. The brown-haired doctor had told me to wait there, as there was someone he wanted me to meet, but I saw no sign of him after that. 

Even after taking a brief trip to the bathroom since I was getting tired of sitting, there were still no sounds but my own footsteps and breathing as I walked down the hall. Still going to be a little while, I thought. 

I plopped down on the bench with some force. It was very comfortable. After repeatedly feeling it with my hands and enjoying its touch, I picked up a book on the end of the seat. 

It had a red cover with a blue spiral. Given that my name was on the binding and it was worn in places, I could tell it was something I’d read again and again. 

I had a gut feeling that I read books for fun. At any rate, I didn’t have to think about myself when I was reading, so I would open a book and read when I was alone. 

I turned the pages, full of short poems and cute illustrations. Maybe something will jog my memory, I thought, reading through. 

I wonder how long I spent doing that. I noticed a shadow before me and looked up with a start. But probably because my neck was stiff from reading, the action was much slower in actuality. 

He stared at me with eyes like marbles, long, black, unkempt hair tied up behind him. At the end of a brown cord hanging from his neck was a glittering gold locket. I hadn’t noticed him at all, and I couldn’t hide my surprise at his sudden appearance. 

“Hello.” 

With a gentle greeting, the person in front of me proved himself to be a living person - a grown man. I then noticed the brown-haired doctor behind the man, looking this way with concern. 

My head spun, not sure of the situation. Noticing this, the man also took on a worried expression. 

“…Are you okay? You look rather pale.” 

“…I’m… fine,” I replied quietly enough that I wasn’t sure if he would even hear it. 

“I see… That’s good.” 

He smiled, relieved I said so. I was relieved too that he heard me. It also occurred to me that this man had a very childish smile. 

“He told me you have amnesia. That can’t be easy. And it’d be hard to stay here all by yourself too, wouldn’t it? There are other children much like you at my place. Would you like to live with us there? Just for as long as you need to.” 

This sudden invitation surprised me. Someone I’d only just met was asking if I’d live with him. I couldn’t figure out how to reply, as I really couldn’t decide if it was alright to simply answer yes. 

Noticing my concern, the brown-haired doctor gave the man some much-needed assistance. “I don’t think it’d be very interesting for you, sticking around here. I asked him to come because I figured you might prefer talking to kids your age more than somebody like me. And don’t judge the book by its cover - you can trust him.” 

The man in front of me gave the doctor a look of “Well, aren’t you rude,” but once he noticed I was looking, he smiled bitterly with a furrowed brow. 

Yes, there wasn’t much more I could do here than sit in bed and read. Here I was talking to all these adults I didn’t know, but it seemed like it would be a lot easier for me to talk to kids I didn’t know. 

Though some doubt remained, I decided to go to the man’s facility. He seemed to smile a little bit when I told him so. 

We left the center of the town and drove through the forest. Occasionally, the car would bump slightly with the sound of branches snapping underneath. It moved at a very leisurely speed. 

After twenty or so minutes driving, we came to a stop in front of a musty old building. 

“We’re here. Sorry that took so long. I don’t drive very often…”, the man apologized, scratching the back of his head. For whatever reason, there were small beads of sweat on his forehead. 

I shook my head to say it was no bother, unbuckled my seatbelt and exited the car. It was the end of summer, but the heat seemed to have no intention of dying down. To get away from the strong rays, he and I entered the brown-walled, black-roofed facility. 

It was much cleaner inside than the musty exterior suggested. The floor was brightly-colored, the walls white, and the ceiling high. Even the hallways felt relatively wide. 

As I took a look around, he called “this way” and beckoned to me. So I proceeded the way he guided. 

“This here is my room. I’ll generally always be here, except on special occasions.” He opened the door in front of us and guided me into the room. 

Right as I entered, I noticed a large quantity of books and stacks of paper. There was a big mess of both piled on a desk in the corner. 

The man grabbed a chair near the desk and brought it to me. “Here.” I sat down, and it made a shrill creaking. 

“Don’t worry. It’s certainly old, but the legs won’t give out or anything,” he said with a slightly pained smile. …He must have noticed my hesitation. 

“Oh, I didn’t ask your name…”, the man remarked, as he sat in another chair which had also seen a lot of wear. 

“Um, Allen. …Allen Llewellyn,” I answered, speaking slowly to confirm it for myself. 

“I see. Allen. There are some little promises you have to keep to if you’re going to be living here. Oh, but nothing complicated, nothing strict. …Is that okay?” 

I nodded. 

“Thank you. Number one, we have fixed times for eating, studying, and sleeping here. But of course, the rest of the time is free time. You can go out as far as the garden outside, and there’s a library on the second floor that you can use as you like.” 

“A library…” So I could read whenever I wanted? I wondered how many books they had. 

“You can take books to your own room, too. Just be sure to sleep when it’s time to sleep.” 

He smiled. …Issuing a warning, huh. 

“And while books are fine, don’t take things from the storeroom or other people’s rooms. Oh, and don’t break anything. If you do, you have to tell me.” 

I kept nodding in agreement as he went on. 

“Don’t try to open up any locked rooms. Don’t hit anyone. And if you have any problems or you want me to get something, tell me. …That’s all. Can you do that?” 

“Okay,” I quietly answered. 

“Good. I’ve put all that in this note in case you forget. Put it up on the wall of your room, okay?” 

He handed me a note with everything he’d said written neatly in large letters. Below the final “promise” was a drawing of a strange, round, fuzzy creature with ears awkwardly jutting out of it. 

“Ahaha… it’s a rabbit. …Art is hard.” 

After being told so, I looked at the mysterious creature again. Knowing what it was supposed to be, I had to say it had… some resemblance to a rabbit. Staring hard enough, I could convince myself that it truly was a rabbit. 

…Maybe I was more fatigued than I realized after the events of the past few days. 

“So that’s roughly how life will be for you here. If you’re not sure of anything, you can come ask me. In addition… Here.” 

Interrupting my battle with the enigmatic rabbit-esque creature, the man handed me a small, sky-blue notebook. 

“Your own personal notebook. I give one to all the children here. Use it however you like. For sad or for happy times. Just write down any feeling you have and show it to me.” 

“…It doesn’t have to be words?” 

“Haha,” he chuckled. “Yes, one of the children just likes to draw in it. That’s fine by me, too.” 

“I see…” I flipped through the notebook. Blank page after blank page, each lined with a gray border. 

“Uh, there was something I wanted to… Oh, right. What’s your name…?” 

He seemed slightly disconcerted. “Oh, I didn’t introduce myself, did I? Sorry. You can just call me Teacher.” 

…Was that a name? It seemed like more of a position to me. But if Teacher was the only adult here, then I guess that wouldn’t be a problem. 

“Was my name all you wanted to ask about?” 

“No, um… It’s not.” I looked toward the door left slightly ajar. 

“Teacher… someone’s been standing out there staring at us for a while.” 

Teacher followed my gaze, then got up with some kind of realization. He approached the door and flung it open. There were four children there. They all appeared to be about my age. 

The lone boy muttered “yikes” and tried to flee at once, but Teacher quickly caught him. The remaining three were all girls. 

“I told you to stay in your rooms until we were done talking, you know,” Teacher sighed, like he was appalled. 

“Telling us not to come see makes us wanna come see. Right?”, the silver-haired boy asked the others, standing up tall. 

A girl who had white hair with reddish-purple highlights answered the question. “Yeah! I mean, of course we’ll be curious. It’s exciting hearing there’s a new kid coming!” 

Behind her, a brown-haired girl looked our way hesitantly. When I looked back at her, she shook with surprise and hid behind the black-haired girl beside her. The black-haired girl silently stared back at me in her place. 

…I wondered if I’d done something to upset her. I was already getting worried about how things would fare. 

Teacher clapped his hands together to get our attention. 

“Very well. It’s almost dinner time, so how about you tell Allen about yourselves here until it’s ready?” 

“Man, that sounds annoying,” the silver-haired boy pouted. 

“You’re the older ones, you know. You’re Allen’s big brother, and you three are his big sisters. So I’m leaving him in your care,” Teacher told the boy with a smile. The boy looked somewhat satisfied and smirked. …He must be easy to handle, I thought. 

“I’ll come call for you when dinner’s ready,” Teacher said, and left the room. 

The remaining children and I sat on the floor in the middle of the room. The four sat around me, scrutinizing my face, pulling the cuffs of my clothes. I let them sate their curiosity without resistance. 

“Oh yeah, I didn’t introduce myself. Uh, you’re Allen, right?” 

Startled by the sudden question, I turned to the voice. It was that silver-haired boy who had been standing out the most. He wore a black knit hat with a silver chain on it. Underneath his slightly scruffy silver hair were olive eyes that seemed to be scheming something. He wore dark bluish-green clothes with silver lines. 

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m Allen.” 

“…N-No. Um… Allen. This boy is Joshua.” 

The brown-haired girl who had been hiding behind the black-haired one interrupted the boy as he reached out for a handshake. Her hair was tied toward the bottom with two circular red hairclips on each side. She wore a red poncho and a puffy balloon skirt, the front of which was covered by a frilly white apron. Her general appearance brought to mind the fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood. 

“What the heck! Chelsy, you spoiled it way too soon. You’re way too serious sometimes. Uh, what’s it called… Yeah, you gotta cool it!” 

Joshua pinched the ear of the girl he called Chelsy. She gave a little yelp - maybe she was ticklish - and as her cheeks went red, she retreated behind the black-haired girl again. 

“Oh, you didn’t introduce yourself to Allen yet. Uh, yeah, the one in red’s Chelsy. She’s suuuper shy. Always hiding behind people like, y'know, that.” 

Shy or not, that was definitely Joshua to blame… I checked on Chelsy. As I was wondering if she’d be okay, someone forcefully grabbed both my hands. 

“Um, Allen! I’m Allen! Oh, uh, no! Er, Allen!” 

“Whoa… H-Hold on… Calm down, now…” But the girl started swinging her arms up and down, as if trying to reflect my words back at me. 

She had white hair swept in a loose wave, with purplish-red highlights slightly darker than her eyes. A small black hat with purple artificial flowers was placed atop her head. She was waving her arms around too much to be sure, but the things flailing about them were probably ribbons. What stood out most in my shaking vision was her checkered skirt. 

“Oh, sorry! I’m so happy, I just got really excited. Um… My name’s Letty! There’s also a boy named Rick, but he’s saying good night now, so you can’t meet him. Once he says good morning, I’ll tell him to say hi to you, Allen!” 

Once she was done with her rapid-fire speech, Letty’s arms came to a stop. While she didn’t seem to have broken a sweat, I was struggling to catch my breath after her intense workout. My arms felt numb. …Did I have that little stamina? 

Seeing my lack of vigor, Letty asked “Is everything okay?” with concern. No, that’s not what the issue is… But I was so far gone I couldn’t even voice that. 

I looked around for someone to help me, and met eyes with one of the girls. Long, clean black hair. A white headdress with wine-red ribbons. A black one-piece with a curious design. But above all, the sharp red glint in her eyes struck me as a little terrifying. 

I didn’t know this girl’s name yet, I realized. Thus, I wanted to talk to her, but I hesitated slightly. Come to think of it, she hasn’t said a word yet. And it kind of looks like she’s glaring at me. …Maybe she doesn’t like me. 

Noticing my plight, Joshua slapped me on the back. 

“Oh, she doesn’t talk much. Especially not introductions - even I couldn’t get a word out of her. So it’s fine! Alright?” 

He seemed to be consoling me. Meanwhile, the girl’s cold expression didn’t change one bit. Maybe she wasn’t good at expressing her emotions. I just had to ask Joshua, then. 

“…What’s her name?” 

“…Stella.” 

I turned to the voice in surprise. It seemed to have come from the girl… Stella, herself. 

“Uh… Stella, did you just talk?”, Joshua timidly asked, but she ignored that question, and only said, 

“…How strange.” 

And then her mouth closed again. 

Joshua rubbed his neck curiously, then folded his arms and looked at me. 

“Well, anyway. You don’t know anything about, like, where anything is here, right?” 

I shook my head. 

“Alright. I’ll show you what places are okay to go in and what ones aren’t. Okay, so first…” 

Joshua motioned for me to follow, so I did, and he gave me a simple run-down of the facility. Once he was done showing me around, Teacher returned to get us, and we headed to the dining room for dinner. 

A few months passed after I began living with Teacher and the other children. In living with and talking to the others, I came to know all about them. 

Letty was a very energetic girl. So, so energetic that she often pushed you around. As for the boy she mentioned on the first day, Rick, I was able to meet him during free time that night while on my way to borrow a book from the library. His white hair with purple-red highlights was much like Letty’s, but tied together in the back, and he wore pants with small ribbons on them. He was the spitting image of Letty; I figured they might have been twins. 

We didn’t talk much that day, but his personality immediately seemed very different from Letty’s: he was calm, and gave the impression of never getting too excited about anything. I went looking for Rick the next day to talk to him some more, but I couldn’t find him. All Letty had to tell me was that he was “saying good night.” I saw Rick many times after that during free time at night and talked to him then, but I was still wondering about what Letty said. 

Chelsy was a somewhat cowardly but very kind girl, who always showed concern for those around her. It seemed that Chelsy might have been better at folding laundry and cleaning than Teacher was. She wasn’t one for running around outside, so typically I only saw her go outside the facility to water plants in the garden. 

She kept an unnerving amount of teddy bears in her room, and my legs almost gave out when I first went in and saw them. But girls like stuffed animals, so that probably explained it for Chelsy too. 

Joshua was a prank-loving boy. He would often catch frogs and bugs in the garden and show them to Teacher and the other children, or worse, startle them by quietly placing them on their shoulders. He’d already done it to me many times. Despite his mischievous image, he always washed his clothes if they got dirty, and neatly put away toys when he was done playing with them. Surprisingly, he really had his head on straight in that respect. 

He was also very talkative, and it was hard to tell if the things he was saying were true or not. Since Joshua and Rick were the only other boys, and I only saw Rick on occasion, I usually ended up hanging out with Joshua whenever I wasn’t reading. 

Stella was still a girl riddled with mystery. She would respond if you asked her something, but she’d never talk any more than that, and would absolutely never start a conversation herself. 

Although, every time we passed each other, it seemed like she was glaring at me. …She probably didn’t like me. On occasion, I heard her playing piano in her room. One time, I put my ear against her door to hear it more clearly, but she found me and gave me an extra-piercing glare. 

Teacher was lacking in some areas, and it was… hard to call him a dependable adult. But he was very polite with us, and I could tell he was always looking out for us. According to Mr. Cliff, who occasionally came to visit, he was supposedly a highly intelligent person, but it was hard to see it that way when he was getting pranked by Joshua or being dragged around by Letty. Then again, the documents and papers in Teacher’s room all seemed very complex. …Was he doing research of some kind? 

Once he got deep into thought, it was hard to get him to notice you. Joshua told me “That’s when you hit him in the flank!” and demonstrated, and the results were startling. So, weak point: flank. 

“…Oops, I wrote that down…” 

I was only trying to gather my thoughts, but I’d been unknowingly writing it all in the notebook in front of me. The sky-blue notebook I hadn’t shown to Teacher at all since the day I got it. I was told I could write anything, but I was writing nothing. 

There had been no progress as far as my memories. But the whole time, I felt like I was missing something. Like I was forgetting something important… But since I couldn’t remember what it was, it was just fuzzy. And so another season passed. 

“…Time for bed.” 

It was still a little while until official bed time, but I changed into my pajamas and sunk into bed. The fluffy pillow and blanket smelled nostalgic somehow. Was the blanket at my house like this?, I found myself thinking again. Every time I had such thoughts, my head ached a little, and I felt very empty. 

Maybe I’ll be empty like this forever… 

To run from the slowly-growing headache… I fell into a deep sleep. 

“…I know the thing you want to know.” 

“Yes, but there’s someone else who knows it too.” 

An unknown voice. My vision is black, I can’t see anything - but someone is there. 

“Who would that be?” 

“…Who are you?” 

“Keys? Wouldn’t know, no sir. That’s the truth and nothin’ but. Sure, I did steal 'em. But only 'cause some

Chapter end