Life 1: Abduction ERO

My name is Kiba Yuuto, and I am a second year high school student at Kuoh Academy.

Normally, it would have been our main character, Hyoudou Issei, narrating…. However, Issei-kun has caught a serious illness so this time, I will be narrating instead.

And that illness is…

“Don’t say improper things such as tits!”

……..Issei-kun’s brain has gone haywire………

 

It happened one day after school. The members of our Occult Research Club and I were gathered in our club room and were talking to each other.

We have a secret that we can’t tell the other students. That secret is the fact that we are actually devils. We were gathered around by our “King”, Buchou of the Occult Research Club and our senpai, Rias Gremory-Buchou, in order to have a discussion on the upcoming month.

“Compared to last month, our contract rate has gone down slightly, especially with middle age people and the elderly. I would therefore like everyone to keep that in mind.”

Rias-Buchou said while reading the data from our files.

My kohai, Toujou Koneko said with her hand up,

“…..I saw on television that some electronic stores build a great relationship with the elderly population, so although they don’t have as much price cuts as the other stores, they are still doing better than other electronic stores. They even managed to open more stores because of that.”

“What this means is that having a good relationship with humans is very important. It is easy to forget essential things like that when you are doing a Devil’s work.”

Our dark pony-tailed senpai and Fukubuchou, Himejima Akeno-san said after hearing Koneko-chan.

A Devil’s work consists of granting a human’s wish, in exchange for something equivalent. Nowadays, it is rare to find someone who’s willing to give up their lives, but greedy people always exist in this world. Thanks to that, we Devils can continue to work.

Young Devils such as us gather around and give our opinions on how to improve our contract rate frequently.

“I don’t know if I can build any relationships with humans….”

Our cross-dressing kohai who looks like a bishoujo, Gasper-kun, made an uncomfortable face. For someone who can’t communicate well with people he doesn't know, it might be too challenging.

I looked at the clock on the wall. Buchou seems to have the same thought as me as she kept looking at her watch with a worried expression.

“…….They are late. What is Ise doing at this time?”

Rias-Buchou muttered.

Yes, not only Issei-kun but his classmates, Asia-chan, Xenovia-chan and Irina-chan were also not here as well. I'm in same year as they are but my class finished already. Their class shouldn't be delayed this late….

Suddenly, the sound of a large footstep shocked the entire building, and that sound was coming nearer and nearer towards us with tremendous speed.

BANG!

Three girls each with pale faces burst into our club room loudly.

The three girls were golden haired Asia-chan, partially dyed hair Xenovia-chan and twin pony- tailed Irina-chan. Asia-chan and Xenovia-chan are both are devils just like us, whereas Irina-chan is an angel. It’s true, everyone!

All three look perplexed. What happened? Actually, where is Issei-kun? Normally those four would arrive together.

“R-R-Rias Onee-sama! It’s an emergency!”

Asia-chan shouted with tears in her eyes. Rias-Buchou realized something must have happened and walked towards the three girls.

“It’s alright, calm down Asia. What happened? Where is Ise?”

Xenovia closed her eyes and looked towards the ceiling, pointing at the corridor.

“……..he became weird.”

She said in very small voice.

Became weird? What does that mean?

Irina-chan made a pose like she was going to pray and walked towards the window. Immediately, she started to pray.

When Rias-Buchou looked toward the corridor, a guy came into the club room. It was Issei-kun.

……What happened to him? He doesn’t look that different on the outside….Hyoudou Issei-kun, my comrade and my only friend. He is a hard working type and does everything seriously. His flaw however is that he’s a big pervert, always thinking about something erotic. He loves breasts so much that whenever he meets female members, he would look at their breasts first.

His dream is to become High Class Devil and make a harem. He’s working hard to make his dream come true and he loves girls more than anything else.

That Issei-kun made a bright smile and said,

“Rias-Buchou, there is nothing wrong with me.”

………..

Wai…wait? Did Issei-kun refer to himself in a polite manner? [1] That’s weird, did I hear it wrong?

Buchou also realized that Issei-kun was acting weird, so she followed Issei’s eyes to see where he was looking at.

Then she exclaimed,

“Ise isn’t looking at my breasts!”

”””…WHAT?!”””

When we heard that, everyone was surprised.

….no way….

To Issei-kun, Buchou’s breasts are something so dear that he would never take his eyes off them. Issei-kun himself said this.

---Kiba, listen to me. Buchou’s breasts, for me, define where I came from as well as where I should return. They never get old. Did you know? Buchou’s nipples feel different from each other.

When we were at a park, during sun set, he said that as we were discussing our dreams. I thought of slapping him for that and even if I did, he couldn't say anything at all.

But he had such a bright smile. His smile was shining around his face when he said that. He was always thinking about Buchou’s breasts.

Akeno-senpai went up to him and grabbed his hands. Then suddenly…..she put his hands on her breasts.

And then….

“Wha….What are you doing?! Don’t do such indecent things!”

Issei-kun pulled his hands out and made an embarrassed expression!

No way! How can this happen?!

Issei-kun was embarrassed to touch a girl’s breasts! What just happened!?!

Issei-kun worshipped Akeno-senpai’s large breasts. Even called them gods! Sometimes he even says, “Thank you, thank you” towards them! Whenever he saw Akeno-senpai in P.E class with her jiggling breasts, he even cried in happiness and bowed down toward them! He was so enthusiastic whenever her breasts jiggled!

He always said that the only valley that is comparable to the Grand Canyon in America is either the cleavage of Rias-Buchou or Akeno-senpai!

Akeno-senpai looks like she is shaken by Issei-kun’s reaction.

“Ise-kun didn't grab onto my tits…. No way….”

It looks like she was so shocked that she couldn't even walk straight anymore.

Issei-kun reddened his face and shouted

“Girls shouldn't say indecent things like ‘tits’!”

I couldn't stop my tears from coming out.

Hello everyone, it looks like Issei-kun has caught an illness. And it’s a very terrible illness….

 

“Please explain what has happened.”

Rias-Buchou asked Asia, Xenovia and Irina-chan after sitting them on the sofa.

Calming themselves with tea given by Akeno-senpai, they started talking while wiping their tears from their eyes.

It happened while they were on their way to the club room after school.

“Look, UFO!”

Issei-kun noticed an unidentified object floating in the sky. Others who noticed the object were also looking at it in curiosity. Just then…

“That unidentified object flew towards Issei-kun and fired a beam toward him. When Asia-chan healed Issei-kun with her powers….”

“Ise-san, are you alright?”

“…yes I’m fine Asia-chan, it looks like today is peaceful too. I wish everyone living on Earth could be happy hehehe.”<-saying that with a bright smile and having a pair of clear eyes.

“…..Iss. Ise-san?”

“He has lost interest in women completely…….. ah and also, the UFO looked like Adamski UFO…..”[2]

Asia-chan explained while wiping her tears.

… My goodness, this is a disaster. I don’t know what to say any more!

UFO? Hit by beam fired by UFO? Well, Angels and Devils do exist so it won’t be weird if aliens do exist as well…. Even so, this is troublesome. We are the Occult Research Group so shouldn't we be happy that we found a UFO? This is nonetheless unexpected.

Issei-kun, I know you are the type who gets into trouble a lot but I didn’t expect you to be attacked by aliens…

Everyone turned their gaze towards Issei-kun who was sitting in the corner of the room.

Issei-kun was… writing a thousand ways to save the world in his note.

Koneko-chan approached him and asked

“….What are you writing senpai?”

“Ah! Koneko-chan! I’m just writing down methods to make people in this world happy! How about you Koneko-chan? Let’s do our best to make our world….”

BANG! POW!

Koneko-chan started to beat Issei-kun up before he had the chance to continue what he was saying. Judging by the sound, she put a spin to her punch to make it more powerful.

Issei-kun was smiling even though he was having a nosebleed.

“That’s a good punch! But that hurts a bit!”

“….I though he would be cured if I hit his head…. Issei-senpai, which one do you prefer, the breasts of Rias-Buchou or Akeno-senpai?”

“Wha? What are you saying Koneko-chan?! An innocent person like you shouldn’t be saying such an erotic….”

BANG! POW!

This time again, Koneko-chan didn’t give Issei-kun a chance to finish his sentence and punched his face, and pushed her fist into his face further.

“….Issei-senpai does not say things like that.”

“Kon…Koneko-chan! S-Stop it! Girls should be on top of….”

BANG! BANG!

“….Issei-senpai does not say things like that.”

“I-I get it! I’ll be your fighting partner! And then you will become world’s best MMA fighter! And we can go for world peace from….”

PING! CRASH!

I couldn’t even figure out what was being broken at this point. But even so, Koneko-chan tried to cure Issei-kun. By punching him.

I said to Koneko-chan who was still beating up Issei-kun in a mount position.

“Umm, Koneko-chan. Can’t you say that Issei-kun became normal? Koneko-chan did hate Issei-kun being openly perverted right? You did say you wanted him to be less perverted in a way.”

That is correct. Koneko-chan always punched Issei-kun when he was doing anything perverted.

“Issei-senpai, please refrain yourself.”

Saying things like that.

Shouldn’t this situation be something Koneko-chan wanted? I thought to myself…

However, Koneko-chan had tears in her eyes and said.

“...I don’t...want him to lose interest in me too….”

That's right. As a woman in love, her feelings must be very complicated.

“What do Rias-Buchou and Akeno-senpai think about this situation?”

After hearing my question, those two looked at each other.

“I always wanted him to be more sensible from the beginning, and he became more like a gentlemen but….”

“He is still lovely but…. I guess it is a bit of a shame……..”

“I think the Ise who looked at us as women passionately is the best.”

“Yes. That way, it’s more fun and worthwhile to become more womanly.”

“Right~?”

Even though these two fought over Issei-kun all the time, in a situation like this, their view was the same.

“Ise, right now isn’t fun at all.”

“Ise-kun who’s not perverted is like, how should I say, eel rice without an eel in it.”

Xenovia-chan complained, and Irina-chan made a weird analogy.

“Ise-san is Ise-san. Even if he stays like this forever, I will stay by his side. But to be honest, I prefer the previous Ise-san.”

Even Asia-chan, who has the most faith in Issei-kun, wanted the old Issei-kun back.

Opinions of those who love him are the same. Now the question is, how can we turn him back….?

Fastest way might be to catch that UFO…

“I think everyone’s opinion is the same. What shall we do now?”

I asked everyone.

“I guess I have no choice. I’ll go and catch the UFO that caused all this.”

Xenovia grabbed a bug catching net as well as her sword. Is she thinking of catching a UFO with those equipment? Nevertheless if it’s Xenovia, I have a feeling she has good chance of doing so.

“You… You think you can do it…?”

“Don’t worry Kiba. I was thinking for a while. Aren’t we more amazing than aliens in terms of what we are?”

Xenovia said that with a serious look on her face.

T-That might be true….Devils, Angels, Yokais, Vampires, etc. our existence is like a fantasy itself. So if we put it that way, it wouldn’t be surprising if there are aliens out there.

But Xenovia, aren’t aliens and us a bit different?

“OK! Gasper, let’s go!”

Gasper-kun was surprised at Xenovia’s words as he probably never would have thought that he would be chosen.

“Wh…why…why do you need me to catch aliens????”

Xenovia was tying Gasper-kun down like she wasn’t going to let Gasper escape and said,

“Your eyes can stop time, so you can stop the flying UFO with your eyes.”

Ah ha, Gasper-kun has the ability to stop time for whatever he sees so she is thinking of stopping the flying object with his ability. But aren’t UFOs quite fast? I wonder if it will go as planned…

Xenovia shouldered Gasper, who was immobilised with a rope and said to Irina.

“Irina, you too! Let’s go and exorcise the heathens called aliens!”

Irina-chan nodded her head strongly after hearing this… wait, considering aliens as heathens are a bit….

“Yes! We can’t be defeated by invaders. In the name of Lord, in the name of Michael-sama! We will defeat those aliens!”

Irina-chan, it looks like you have decided to do that even before setting out on your journey.

Xenovia and Irina-chan marched out of the club room with the immobilised Gasper-kun on Xenovia’s shoulder.

It looks like negotiation is not an option…. The only thing I can do is make a bitter smile.

Right then, Rias-Buchou petted Issei-kun’s hair who has been released from the beating of Koneko-chan.

“Right, let’s leave the UFO to those three, and let’s try and find the solution ourselves.”

Thus, Operation “Get Issei-kun back” has started.

 

Operation “Get Issei-kun Back”

Plan A [Full Armour Asia]

“Ok Asia, please use your healing powers on Ise’s head please.”

“Yes”

Asia-chan replied.

Operation “Get Issei-kun Back” has started and for starters, we decided to try and use Asia-chan’s power to cure Issei-kun.

…Except, Asia-chan was wearing a school swimsuit and a pair of knee socks.

Not only that, she was wearing cat ears, a cat tail and was wearing a cat collar necklace as well. The name tag on her chest reads ‘Asia’.

Even Rias-Buchou called Asia-chan [Full Armour Asia] and nodded her head in approval. If it was normal Issei-kun, he would be in tears and would have said…

“That’s amazing, Asia-chan!”

But… Issei-kun had no reaction to Asia-chan’s erotic costume.

Rather, it seemed like he was denying it.

“Ise-san… please go back to how you were before.”

Asia-chan extended her hands toward Issei-kun’s head and a green light came out from her hands. Lights covered his head and bruises started to disappear.

“Thank you Asia-chan, the pain is gone now.”

Issei-kun smiled, but Asia-chan’s face became sad. If it was normal, Issei-kun would have said “Asia” in an affectionate tone. It seems like she was sad that he didn’t call her that way.

But she wiped her tears away, folded her hands like a cat’s paw, spun around on the spot and made a cute pose with her body.

“Come to Asia if you need to heal nyaa «”

She said in a cute voice while winking but…

“OK!”

He just gave short reply.

Hearing that, Asia-chan’s body started to tremble and she leaped into Rias-Buchou’s chest.

“Rias onee-sama! I can’t do it! I can’t use the cat ears and the tail to my advantage like Koneko-chan!”

Next to her, Koneko-chan wiggled her ears and tail. She is a Nekometa, so unlike the cat ears and tail of Asia-chan, her ears and tail are real.

“Don’t worry Asia, you were very cute so don’t be too sad. Leave the rest to us.”

So the treatment had no success.

 

Operation “Get Issei-kun-Back”

Plan B [Nekometa Senjutsu]

“….I will channel ki around his head then.”

Koneko-chan put her hands on Issei-kun’s head and started to concentrate. Ki started to form around her hands as she was doing that.

Nekometas can use senjutsu to correct the flow of ki in a person’s body and that’s what Koneko-chan is trying to do to Issei-kun’s head.

“While Koneko is working, let’s show Ise his treasured ero magazines.”

Rias boucho took out the ero magazines that only Issei-kun uses and showed them to him. ….um, I think Rias-Buchou and Akeno-senpai found those rather quickly…. They already knew where he kept them I see. Issei-kun, your treasured books have been found by these two already.

“Ku! S-Stop it! T-That kind of indecent books, I don’t want to see it…!”

“What are you talking about. It’s the books that you always read isn’t it?”

“Issei-kun, this is like the Holy Bible to you. It is because of these books that you became who you are. Now, look at this page where these girls are wearing sexy cosplay.”

Rias-Buchou and Akeno-senpai tied Issei-kun onto a chair and put tape on his eyes so he couldn’t close his eyes. They instantly forced him to read the books that way.

While correcting ki around his head, his treasured books were shown to him. We thought that these two combined methods would cure him of his illness but Koneko-chan stopped using senjutsu and shook her head.

“….it’s impossible. The Ki itself hasn’t been altered. In fact, it is normal. The Ki was disturbed when he was reading that book in fact.”

Hearing this report, Rias-Buchou put her hand on her chin.

“That means there is nothing wrong with his body… that’s more annoying than I thought. What on earth did that UFO do…”

Seriously, what happened to Issei-kun….

“My my. This costume is amazing. If I wear it, Ise-kun surely would be happy right?”

Akeno-senpai started to read the book and blushed a little. Hearing that, Rias-Buchou also started to read the book.

“…hmm. I think this will suit me more. This costume highlights the person’s legs, like it was made for me.”

“That sounds like you are saying that I don’t have curvature on my body like you do.”

“I have confidence in my legs. Ise even complemented it. He said the balance between my thighs and calf is awesome.”

Rias-Buchou showed her legs off to Akeno-senpai. Akeno-senpai was just smiling.

“Ara, Ise-kun complemented my thin waist a few days ago, saying that the curvature between my chest and my hips is ideal.”

This time, Akeno-senpai showed her waistline off to Rias-Buchou. Seeing that, Buchou’s eyes twitched a little.

“…are you saying that I’m fatter then you?!”

“That’s my line! Ise-kun likes my body more!”

“No! He likes mine more!”

“Rias, you idiot!”

“Akeno, you jerk!“

…ah. It seems like these two have forgotten about curing Issei-kun completely and started to argue between themselves. And they won’t stop any time soon either.

Koneko-chan and I sighed after seeing this.

 

Operation “Get Issei-kun Back”

Plan C [Pressing switch]

“Let’s make him press Rias’s nipples.”

After calming herself, Akeno-senpai suggested her plan. Even so, saying nipples all of a sudden…

“Last time when Ise-kun went berserk with the Red Dragon’s power, he turned back to normal after touching Rias’s breasts.”

That’s right. Not too long ago, Issei-kun went berserk with the power of the Welsh Dragon within him. ‘Juggernaut Drive’ not only destroyed the surroundings, but also defeated a strong foe in seconds.

However, he didn’t stop even after defeating the enemy. In the end, we made him touch Buchou’s breasts to turn him back to normal. That was probably possible only because it was Issei-kun, also known as the Oppai Dragon, who loves breasts more than anything. The act of touching the breasts of the woman he loves must be something grander than anything he desires.

“Maybe we can cure him by making him touch Rias’s breasts again.”

Because of what happened before, Akeno-senpai didn’t hesitate to give her opinion.

Rias-Buchou blushed after hearing out Akeno-senpai.

“My….my breasts….. it’s being used like this again….it’s Ise who’s touching it so it’s fine but, trying to solve everything with my breasts is a bit….”

Akeno-senpai put her hands on Rias-Buchou’s shoulder to reduce her embarrassment.

“No Rias, this may be your chance. Also it’s like fan service.”

“What do you mean fan service…I don’t even know what you are talking about….”

Akeno-senpai calmed the embarrassed Rias-Buchou down, right after they just had a massive argument with each other. It is because they are normally on good terms with each other that they can be like this….. but to touch Buchou’s breasts…. Well it suits Issei-kun very much but….

“Let’s try it for now.”

Akeno-senpai used her power to bring up a curtain and took Issei-kun and Rias-Buchou behind it.

“Now Buchou, please take your clothes off. Ise-kun, it’s the breasts of the person you love, Rias-Buchou. Look closely.”

It seems like Buchou started taking her clothes off. Only Akeno-senpai and and Issei-kun could see her naked body over the curtain though. Just then, Asia-chan also went over there.

“N-No! I-I’m not going to see indecent things like that!”

I can see from the shadows that Issei-kun was frantically trying to escape from his chair.

“….That’s bit unpleasant. Ok, I will make sure you press my nipples then.”

“That’s it Rias! Ise-kun! Now stare at Rias’s breasts!”

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to look at breasts!”

“Now, touch her breasts! Then press down on her breasts!”

It seemed like Akeno-senpai grabbed Issei-kun’s hands and bring them to Rias-Buchou’s breasts.

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! I don’t want to press her breasts! Erotic! Indecent! I’m not interested in that kind of thing! World peace and breasts are not related in any ways!”

“That’s now true! Her breasts are breasts that have brought peace in the underworld! Look at her breasts, it has a nice pink colour to it right?! Now, press it with all your might!”

Akeno-senpai, you are very enthusiastic. I’m surprised. Are you enjoying this situation that much? I think she is.

“Ise-san! Press it! If you press Rias onee-sama’s breasts, everything will be solved! Don’t give up! Soon you will be fine!”

Asia-chan is also saying things like that… I know she’s desperate but….

Issei-kun however didn’t give up either.

“I’m not going to lose to things like breasts! I’m not going to give up!”

“Press my breasts Ise! That way, you can turn back to the way you were before!”

“Now, press it!”

“Press her breasts, Ise-san!”

…this is a scary situation. The only thing I could do was just stare at the situation with my mouth half opened. Breasts and tits… it feels like I’ve seen this situation before somewhere.

“…whenever Ise-senpai did something it always felt like that.”

Koneko-chan sighed.

That’s right, it was always like this. I think I want to cry….

When I was about to think I don’t care what happened next, someone came into the club room.

Having a long silver hair and also wearing suits, it was Rossweisse-san who became our newest comrade.

Rossweisse-san apologised while coming in and…

“I’m sorry I’m late! Staff meeting was longer then…. What! You guys, the sun hasn’t set yet but what are you guys doing?!”

She was shocked to see what was happening in front of her.

That’s right. If anyone saw this, they would be confused…

 

Operation “Get Issei-kun Back”

Not planned from start [Nordic Magic]

“So that’s what happened. I understand.”

After hearing what had happened so far, Rossweisse-san nodded her head.

“But isn’t this a good thing? It’s not good to be indecent. Can’t we accept this as a fate and move on?”

Rossweisse-san gave her opinion but….

“No way! We already discussed this and decided to turn him back to normal. Please, cooperate with us. If it was you, a Valkyrie, you should have an idea right?”

Having heard Rias-Buchou, Rossweisse-san tilted her head slightly.

“Hmm. I’m against students of the opposite sex being too close to each other so I’m fine with him as he is now but, if Rias-san says so then I have no choice but to cooperate. I will do it.”

Rossweise-san accepted her request.

“Then let’s get started.”

She walked towards Issei-kun and put her hand forward. Magic circle appeared on her hand and she started to investigate something.

“His body is normal. And his devil and dragon powers are normal too. In terms of curse… ah, it seems like I can detect something.”

“When you say you can detect something…then he’s been cursed?”

When Rias-Buchou asked, Rossweise-san nodded her head.

“Yes. I don’t know what type but it seems like some complicated spell is focused on his head. It has some similarities to a Devil’s power, and it looks like there is also the power of a Fallen Angel too. It even has traces of Nordic magic too. Anyway, this is a bit complicated.”

“You think you can cure him?”

“I’ll do my best”

Rossweisse-san summoned a bag and started to look through her bag.

In her bag there are things items such as an unknown animal’s tail, grass with weird colour and a dangerous looking bottle of liquid. She took them out and started to mix them together in mortar. Then she took out flasks and beakers and mixed them all together.

Foul fumes started to come out of the flask; I couldn’t bear it any more and opened the windows. Is she turning magic into medicine?

About 10 minutes later, the beaker was full of liquid with seven different colours to it.

“It’s done! This is a Nordic medicine that reverses a spell’s effect!”

The medicine was bubbling and emitting dangerous looking fumes but… it looks like it will work.

“Now, Hyoudou Issei-kun, drink this! It should have an affect! Not only this will undo any spell, it should fix you dense brain as well!”

When Rossweisse-san came close to Issei-kun, he started to resist like mad men.

“M-My nose! I think I’m going to suffocate just by smelling it!”

He was trying to escape from his chair but we just pinned him down on his chair.

“P-Please let me go! I will die if I drink it!”

“Hohoho, it’s cute that you are trying to resist. But it’s futile. You can’t escape from the Nordic spell. Now, drink this and become a model student.”

Rossweisse-san gave an unpleasant smile. It seems like she is enjoying this too much but, surely that was just my imagination… is this really a medicine used to reverse the spell? I had my doubts but I made him drink every last drop.

Gulp Gulp

Issei-kun was forced to drink all of it, and when he finished…

Purple fumes came out of every hole of his face and his skin also changed colours to the same seven colours. After that….

Slump

His head slumped unnaturally and some kind of liquid came out of his mouth.

Seeing that, everyone was scared….. is he…. fine? It looked like his soul just left his body.

Rossweisse-san was tilting her head.

“That’s weird. Odin-sama’s dementia was cured with this drink….”

Don’t tell me. You didn’t used poison to suppress poison right? BANG!

When we were confused to our wit’s end, someone burst into the club room.

“Buchou! Everyone! We did it!”

“We did it! We did it!”

Xenovia and Irina-chan came in with their uniforms soiled.

In their hands there was a silver metallic fragment… don’t tell me….

“We caught that UFO!”

Xenovia reported their victory.

Everyone, this is a disaster.

…my comrade has finally defeated the visitor from outer space.

After hearing something so ridiculous, I couldn’t say anything at all.

 

“…that’s a real UFO.”

Rias-Buchou was looking at it like she still couldn’t believe it.

Outside of old building, there was what we called the Adamski type unidentified flying object (UFO), which crashed on the ground.

It seems like after spotting the UFO, Xenovia used her sword while Irina angel powers to attack the object, and after some fighting, the UFO crashed. These two then carried the object all way here. The fact that they weren’t caught by normal people is admirable. Did they use some kind of technology from Heavens?

But attacking aliens without any reason might be a problem here, and there is no getting around this. This might be the worst possible way to start the communication between aliens.

While I was worrying about that, Xenovia burst open something which looks like an entrance with her sword.

“See? My Durandal works with aliens as well.”

She said that so proudly… even though we aren’t sure whether it’s hostile… well, it did attack Issei-kun first.

“What happened to Gasper-kun?”

I couldn’t see where he was so I asked Xenovia. His objective was to make the UFO stop so….

Xenovia closed her eyes and Irina-chan covered her mouth and silently shed tears. What happened?

“Kiba, Gasper was good person. He fought bravely until the end.”

“Gasper-kun got hit by the beam then…”

There was a box where Irina-chan pointed!

When I opened the box, there was Gasper-kun all burnt!

“We can’t let his demise go to waste! Let’s go and defeat those aliens!”

After shouting that, Xenovia walked inside the object.

Why is she so excited in the wrong kind of ways? Ah, I think Gasper-kun twitched a little, at least he’s alive.

“….Y-Yuuto-senpai… I-I don't think.... I'm going to like SF any more..... [3].”

“You did great Gasper-kun.”

I put my hands on his shoulder. You become like this a bit too often lately.

I’ll make a nice dinner for you later. I cried in delight upon seeing my kohai.

A few minutes later, Xenovia came out dragging something.

And that was….

We couldn’t be more surprised!

“It was Azazel-sensei!”

That was right. Xenovia dragged out our adviser and the leader of the Fallen Angels, Azazel-sensei.

He had a big bump on his head and fainted but there was no mistake. It was him.

…what have you done now sensei…

 

“Ahh. I wanted to make a UFO all of a sudden! I made it look like real thing!”

Sensei laughed like he didn’t regret it.

After that, we heard the truth.

When he watched a documentary about UFOs, Sensei wanted to make one himself, and ended up working on it in a secret lab underneath the school building. Featuring all the latest technology from the Fallen Angel side, he finished one. It was amazing that he had the technology to make UFOs. Can’t you use that useful skill on something more worthwhile….? I wanted to complain to him. If I recall correctly, you also made a robot last Summer too if I remember correctly. Maybe he is the most threatening person in this world.

After that, he wanted to test fly the contraption so he turned the UFO on. It had a special barrier so normal humans couldn’t see which also means there wouldn’t be many problems. Seriously, he worries about all sorts of things.

Since the UFO worked better than he expected, he was in good mood and decided to show himself to Issei-kun’s group.

“Hahaha. Well, when I saw Issei on the ground, I really wanted to fire some beams.”

That was the reason for attacking Issei-kun, and thanks to that, Issei-kun lost his indecency.

Slap!

Rias-Buchou hit Sensei’s head with a fan and glared at him.

“You know…it is because of you that Ise became like this. It’s fine if you make an UFO, but what teacher fires a beam at his students?”

Hearing that, sensei made a cool pose and pointed himself with his thumb.

“Right here!”

Slap!

The second attack was harsher than the first one.

Rias-Buchou asked Sensei, who was rubbing the place where he had been hit.

“So how can you turn him back to normal? It’s sad seeing him like that.”

Sensei replied to Rias-Buchou.

“Well, I just wanted to make a weapon so it’s something I just made on the go. To turn him back to normal, I will have to decipher the content of the beam and that might take a while.”

After sensei said that, Rias Buchou and the other women present teared up a little.

“T-That means he’s not going to turn back to normal for a while?! No way! Ise who isn’t erotic isn’t Ise at all!”

Behind the mad Rias-Buchou, Akeno-senpai was smiling while emitting electricity from her body.

“Sensei? You can fix him right? If you can’t, you might experience some electricity.”

Her power was enough to make the Leader of the Fallen Angels back away.

“J-Just wait a second. Trust me, I’ll do it somehow.”

Sensei said with a perplexed look on his face.

 

In Sensei’s lab at the old building, there was a capsule enough for one person to fit in.

“Now, first, we put Ise in here….”

Issei-kun was already in there

“Let me oooooout!”

He was screaming to be let out but we can’t do that.

“What are we going to do now?”

When Rias-Buchou asked, Sensei pressed a button on the console.

Crank, rumble rumble rumble

The device made a strange noise and started up.

“You remember that time when we had the Ise clone incident?”

There was indeed a time when a clone of Ise caused chaos at Kuoh Academy. Actually, that was also Sensei’s fault. He just doesn’t learn does he…

“I had the indecency data collected from the clone of Ise from back then. And I’m going to inject that data into him.”

“So are you going to inject that data and turn him back to normal?”

When Rias-Buchou asked, Sensei nodded his head.

“Yes, soon, he will turn back….”

Ping!

Suddenly light emitted from the capsule and then…

BAAAANNNNGGGG!

It exploded!

It was enough to mess up the whole room! Table turned and equipment flew. We quickly hid behind some equipment.

….When the smoke cleared up, we looked towards the capsule.

The capsule opened up and there was….

“OOOOOPPPPPAAAAIIIIIIIIII!”

Issei-kun was shouting weird things!

“”””THAT MADE HIM WORSE””””

We were surprised at this disappointing result.

 

Ise-kun finally went back to how he was a day later.

He went back to the way he was after sleeping in Rias-Buchou’s breasts for a night.

After hearing that…

“What, so in the end, it was Buchou’s breasts that turned him back.”

…and made a bitter smile. Issei-kun did mention this.

---Kiba, listen to me. Buchou’s breasts are, for me, define where I came from as well as where I should return.

He really came back using Buchou’s breasts. That’s the Issei-kun I knew.

After school, when we were alone by chance, Issei-kun said excitedly.

“Kiba! I got hold of a really erotic book! You want to see it, right?! But I’m not going to share it with you! I can’t show it to a bishounen guy like you!”

And he showed me his erotic magazine.

Yes, this is what my friend Issei-kun is supposed to be. An Ise-kun that is not erotic isn’t Ise-kun at all.

It’s good to see you back, Issei-kun.

 

Translator's Notes and References Jump up↑ Translator Note: in Japanese/Korean people refer themselves lower when they are introducing themselves to their elder. Jump up↑ It's the type of UFO, referring to shape. Jump up↑ Science Fiction ie UFO and aliens)