Ultimate Porter ~The Weakest Man Aspires to be an Adventurer~ Chapter 32

All eyes are turned towards me who has declared himself the mysterious thief Moriarty Oolongtea.

I'll just ignore their stares and carry on.

“It's not good being violent towards women you know. If you don't want to end up like this guy please give me your gold and demon stones.”

I nod towards the incontinent Yuuraia.

Patty and the others who have been staring dumbfounded for a while seem to understand the meaning of this farce.

The rest of Yuuraia's party take out their wallets in a great hurry.

“That's all we have.”

I receive the thrown wallets.

“Hm. You get spared since you've been so obedient. Aah, I have no intention of taking money from common people. I'm only after the nobles.”

Yuuraia is glaring at me but his body doesn't seem able to move well.

“This……isn't……over……”

*Bassu*

I shoot Yuuraia again with another stun bullet.

He faints with his eyes rolled back showing only the whites.

I won't forgive anyone who aims for Patty's body.

I've decided I'm going to inject him with a medicine that causes erectile dysfunction. I'll gather the ingredients as soon as I'm done here.

Don't underestimate my grudge.

“Everyone be quiet. I'll be taking that sword as well.”

I pick up the degraded holy sword I made. Even cutlery is too dangerous for this moronic noble.

Isn't it about time for everyone to get over their shock?

“Fumu. Ladies and gentlemen I'd love to chat longer but the demons of the labyrinth do call to me. The time has come for me to meld into the darkness once more. Youth passes quickly before you accomplish much learning. Boys be ambitious! Let us meet again! Fuhahahahahahahahahahahaha…………”

(TN. Youth passes quickly before you accomplish much learning is an old Japanese saying. It basically means study hard when you are young because getting old is easy but gaining knowledge is harder.)

As I ran out of the room I quickly whispered [follow me] to Bonnie-san

“Wait……mysterious thief Oolongtea…….”

Wow! What terrible acting.

Patty and the others also follow Bonnie-san and start chasing me.

“Wait!”

Ah, Patty is unexpectedly good at acting.

“Arrest him!”

Are you a police inspector with a cleft chin Jean? (TN. I think he's referring to Inspector Koichi Zenigata from Lupin III)

We ran for quite a while and entered a small room. I started to rest while laughing.

“Don't laugh Ossan. What was that about the demons of the labyrinth calling you?”

“Don't worry about it. It just seemed appropriate given the surroundings. This way that fellow will think he was targeted by a thief and won't link it back to Patty.”

“It was a good thing Ippei-san was at the back.”

“……You did well……”

“Thanks Ippei. In all honesty, I was a bit scared. That disgusting man Yuuraia is the eldest son of Earl Ramunes.”

“Did he propose to you?”

“Yeah. I'd only heard bad things about him so I refused instantly. I didn't know that low-life was down here.”

“He's the type who uses his borrowed power to do terrible things over and over again. Please help me punish him later.”

“Ippei, your opponent is a noble. Your life will be in danger if you take him on.”

“I'll do a surprise attack. Don't worry though. I'm not thinking about assassinating him……..Bonnie-san don't look so disappointed! I'm going to make his penis useless so he can't cause any more trouble for women.”

“That's…….”

Patty and Meg look very interested despite their blushing faces.

“I'm going to secretly make him drink a drug that causes erectile dysfunction. If he can't use his precious place the number of people suffering will decrease.”

It's a bit embarrassing saying it in front of young women.

“It's faster to harvest it…….”

“It's no good if we do it directly Bonnie-san.”

“Bonnie-sans eyes were scary when she said harvest.”

I understand your feeling Jean but stop hiding your groin with your hands.

Ah, I unconsciously did it as well.

Gobu……You don't have anything attached.

“How are you going to serve him the medicine?”

Meg's question is reasonable. I was thinking of putting it in food.

If I remodel one of the hummingbirds they can probably sneak it into a pot.

“Ippei….Can you apply the medicine to a blowgun dart?……..”

I was going to make it an internal medicine but I can change it to a medicine that can be injected.

It might be easier.

Bonnie-san is very good at hiding so she should have no problem.

“Yeah, I can change how I make the medicine.”

“Then I'll hunt him down……..I hate that guy. I love hunting people like him……..”

She's more talkative and scarier than usual.

Looking at my scared face Bonnie-san mutters something I can't hear.

“I won't hunt Ippei……..because I like you……”

It's a strange feeling to confess. This person's voice is very kind……..I'm troubled. (TN. This is Bonnie, not Ippei thinking this)

I start making the medicine while Bonnie-san has gone out to trace that guy's movements.

The medicine was completed before long and was safely injected into Yuuraia Ramunes.

I'm only sorry I won't be able to see his face of despair but my revenge is now complete.

We are returning above ground tomorrow.

Next time we will stay in the labyrinth longer.

Let's extend our reach and advance deeper into the 2nd floor.

Everyone is asleep except me who's on watch.

I'm carefully tending to the fire so it doesn't go out. It's cold down here.

Patty abruptly gets up and sits down beside me without saying a word.

“Can't sleep?”

“No, I wanted to talk.”

Patty leans her body on me. Just a little bit.

“Thank you very much for today. You saved me.”

“Un.”

“Why are men like that…….are your sexual desires that strong?”

Patty is angry.

“Sexual desires are the instincts of all creatures. It's not an easy problem. With Yuuraia though its a way of life rather than sexual desire. No matter how much of a pervert they are, how they act will depend on that person's nature.”

“So does Ippei also feel desire towards me?”

“…….What a blunt question. Honestly, the answer is yes. But don't think I'll rape you. I'm normal. If not the world would be full of nothing but sex offenders.”

“I see……”

“Besides, if I did attack you, you could easily kill me!”

“Ahaha, that's right. But if I was weaker and Ippei was stronger you wouldn't attack me. I know that…..”

Patty's chest is big.

I'm always sneaking a glance.

I'm sure she's seen me but she still trusts me.

“Patty…..I'm 27 now and will be 28 soon. I'm not that young where I act impulsively but I'm not old enough to abandon my passion. So please wait a while and somehow I will make it so I can make my feeling clear to you. Until that day……”

“….Un.”

Forced labour or death awaits any man falling in love with the daughter of a noble.

Labour for romance and death for sex while the woman enters a nunnery.

That is the law of this country.

The family name is also damaged and that is something the nobles will not allow.

Patty values her parents.

I'm sure she's suffering between her own feelings and her family.

There's only one way we can be happy.

I'll become a nobleman.

“Patty. I will become a noble of this country. Will you help me?”

“Un. I'm happy……”

Patty instantly understands my meaning.

I also decided to do one more thing. I'm prepared for forced labour.

I must be more young and impulsive than I thought

“I love you, Patty.”

“Un, I love you too.”

I draw Patty close to me and we kiss.

Chapter end