The bullying ended, but his social life never stopped being miserable. How could he possibly make any friend with such a shameful private life?
He had to constantly hide the bruises with long sleeves and had run out of plausible excuses for his streak of black eyes months before. His classmates and professors simply pretended to not know and he just pretended to believe being that good of a liar.
It was painful, but manageable. He still had his little brother to share that pain with. Carl was all he had, his family, friend and confident. He was Derek's whole word.
But when that age came, he started having crushes toward girls in his school, and those feelings weren't as easily suppressed. Once again, he felt utterly helpless.
He could not tell anyone about his problems, could not allow people to get close to him, otherwise he would have to think of an explanation for not being allowed to bring any friend home. Let alone a girl he liked.
Derek was tormented by cruel thoughts, often demanding the heavens why what others took for granted was but an impossible dream for him.
Fueled by the hormonal storms Derek rage started growing relentlessly. He started having troubles sleeping at night, thinking about all those lovey-dovey couples out there.
Derek knew he was different from them. His crippling flaw wasn't being shy or having a bad case of acne. His problem couldn't be cured by any doctor, because it had a name and surname. Ezio Esposito, his trash bag of a father.
Derek started conceiving plan after plan to get rid of him, even if that meant killing him. At night he would device elaborate and meticulous plans that often involved prolonged torture, making Ezio suffer like Derek did for all those years.
But when morning came, he would always realize it was a dumb plan. More wishful thinking than anything else.
Derek lacked the means and the ruthlessness necessary for getting rid of Ezio. No matter how much he hated him, Ezio was still his father and he was just an angry teenager.
Kill Ezio? Sure. And what about then? Live a whole life ridden with guilt? Running away from home to avoid being the arrested? And with what money?
Killing Ezio would have meant abandoning Carl forever, and destroying any possible chance of being happy in the future.
So, every morning Derek would swallow his plan along with the porridge and move on. His only real prospect was to cram as a madman, get a scholarship and get out of that hell as fast as possible.
He knew he had problems and wanted to work them out. Derek consulted several doctors before finding someone he was able to work with, and after several months he felt he was finally starting to make some progress.
But alas, such happiness was not bound to last.
Chapter end
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