Me and the Tigress Volume 2 Chapter 3 part1

Third Story

It started in the afternoon, after we finished eating lunch. When I woke up from a nap I took due to post-meal drowsiness. Because it’d be tough at night if I slept too long during the day, I planned on only sleeping for twenty or thirty minutes, but when I came to, two hours had already passed. I was in a groggy daze and opened the door to to go wash my face when it happened.

Snap!

Huh? I looked down because I heard a strange sound at my feet when something dropped on me with a bang. Ow! I crouched down and cradled my head. My brain was screaming as the pain surged through me. Ow ow ow ow ow ow. What the heck was that? Did something hit me? I regained control of my mind and looked down with tear-filled eyes to see a dented metal bucket rolling on the ground. That must mean that was what hit me. But who did it? Nobody’s nearby. I took a closer look at the bucket and found a white string tied to the handle. The string went all the way to the top of the door. At a closer look, there was a snapped string hanging from the door. …Is that what I think it is? A booby trap? That classic prank where the string snaps when the door’s opened and the bucket falls on a person’s head? Who the heck…? I can rule out Rangii and Baduk. Whether with good intentions or bad, they aren’t the kind of kids to make a booby trap. Then Saehee? She wouldn’t stop with just a bucket for her pranks. She’d probably have designed the 18 weapons to fall expertly right where I used to be. Then there’s only one suspect remaining. It had to be Chii. (tn: The 18 weapons is a reference to the eighteen traditional weapon techniques of Korea)

Could she be holding a grudge because of what I said earlier? You brat. Where are you? I angrily looked around, and,

Flap flap.

I could see hair flapping up and down from around the corner. Yeah. The criminal always comes back to the scene of the crime. I’ll make you pay for dropping a bucket on my head. I took a large step forward and,

Snap.

…Snap? As my foot sank down, something incredibly fast approached my face. A wooden plank from the floor. Save me.

Smack!

“Gya!”

I rolled on the floor without a shred of dignity. Dear God, my nose. My nose may even be crooked!

“I’m happy to see you’ve fallen for my traps!”

Chii suddenly appeared, looking down on me with her hands haughtily on her hips. I held in my pain and rage, and painstakingly chose words that a child could understand as I spoke to her.

“Hey, Chii. What is all of this?”

That’s why I could only speak as if I was reading from a book. Because otherwise, I might start cursing. And Chii, who failed to understand my caution, said,

“Awoo? On top of being stupid, have you lost your mind?”

She was saying things like that. Ah, I reached my limit.

“Hey, you brat!! I’m asking what the hell this all is!!”

“It’s divine punishment!”

Do phantoms bring about divine punishment these days?! You brat. Just wait until I get my hands on you.

I ran at her with vengeance in my eyes, and Chii turned around and ran away to the courtyard. You brat, so you refused to beg for forgiveness and now you’re running away?! I quickly put on my shoes when,

Stab.

“Agh, it stiiiings!”

I took off my shoes as fast as I could and turned them upside down. A stream of thumbtacks fell. S-Such an old fashioned prank! What are you, a villain from an old shoujo manga?!

“Big brother is an idiot!”

Chii, standing in the middle of the courtyard, said something that aggravated me, and she stuck her tongue out at me. My anger has reached its limit. Sufficient fury reached. Limit break is ready.

…Yeah. No matter how good-natured a person I am, if I ignore this much provocation, then I’m no better than Saehee. I put on my shoes and ran to the courtyard. But Chii wasn’t running away. Why? Did she go insane from fear? Even though she probably knows that this isn’t just going to end with a hit to the noggin? What was she plotting…wait, could it be?!

I tried to stop, but I had to take a few more steps due to sheer momentum, when,

Siink.

The ground sank and I stepped on something. Old food scraps.

“…I never imagined that you would fall for the traps so perfectly.”

I forced my anger down and spoke to Chii who was looking at me as if I was pathetic.

“…I demand an explanation about all that just happened.”

“I told you before. That you’d suffer divine punishment.”

“Ah. I see.”

Then what I’m about to do must be divine punishment as well. Okay, what should I do? No. As an adult, I should give Chii at least one more chance.

“I’ll ignore everything if you beg for forgiveness.”

“Why would I do that? After all, preparing all of this took a lot of work. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pull out one of the floorboards, install a bucket trap, and and even dig a hole?”

I finally lost it after hearing her say that as if she were saying, “Did I do good? I did good, right?”

Good children get compliments. Bad children get punishments. My insides were boiling with rage, but, surprisingly enough, I calmly thought over how to catch her. I guess this was akin to what people call a coldly burning flame. No, rather than something so awesome, it was just that I was so angry that I went full circle back to calm. Okay, let’s think about it. Even if Chii does look like that, she’s still a phantom. Rationally speaking, there’s no way a human could catch her. In that case,

“Baduk!”

I just needed some help. Chii stared at me, questioning my actions.

“Awoo? Why are you saying that, big brother?”

I didn’t answer her. Because Baduk, who may have been playing outside until now, jumped over the wall and sat down next to me.

“What is the occasion, Young Master?”

Based on her rapidly wagging tail, it seemed like she was hoping that I called her here to play. Well, in a sense, I had a game in mind.

“Baduk, can you go fetch her for me?”

Chii’s face paled as she realized why I called Baduk here.

“A-Awooo! That’s cheating!”

“Cheating? What’re you talking about? Hey, you brat. Did we ever agree to any kind of fair play?”

I spoke to Baduk while Chii mocked me as best she could.

“You can do it, right, Baduk?”

“Okay, Young Master.”

After she said that, Baduk ran on all fours after Chii. It was only a short distance, but she must have made lots of traps because every time Baduk’s feet hit the ground, a small pit formed in the ground and a rope would fly up, or plates would go flying, or flames would spout up. Hey, you brat. Were you trying to kill me?

But Baduk, running insanely fast, passed the traps before they could work.

“Awooo!!”

Baduk jumped, no, flew over the mound created by one of the traps and she carried Chii by the back of her neck next to me.

“Here she is, Young Master.”

Baduk put Chii on the ground and sat on her. Then, with her tail wagging quickly, Baduk looked up at me as if expecting a treat, and I patted her on the head.

“Good job, Baduk.”

“Hehehehe.”

Seeing Baduk blush and look so happy made me consider not punishing Chii, but no, no! I needed to teach her that some things weren’t okay to do!

“Can you help me out a little more?”

“Of course I can, Young Master.”

Now. It was the referee’s turn. I carried Chii by her waist and held her to my side as I walked to the house.

“This is why you’re a…”

“Baduk?”

“Yes, Young Master?”

“You evil human!”

I wordlessly sat down on the porch and lay Chii belly-down on my lap as she struggled and cursed at me. I would have slapped her on the back a few times, but when kids play nasty pranks like these, they have to be spanked on the butt. My mom did the same thing to me when I was a kid. Reminiscing over such pleasant times, I pulled off Chii’s skirt. Chii’s light blue and white striped panties and her plump butt were exposed to the bright midday sun. I would normally have taken off her panties too, but she’s a girl so I decided to give her that much.

“Kyawooo?!”

I ignored Chii’s scream and smacked her hard on the butt.

“Kyawoo!”

Chii was bent over and a red handprint was left on her butt. Of course, my hand was red as well. How does hitting someone hurt so much as well? I remember my mom hit me a dozen times at once and it didn’t seem to hurt her at all. But there was no way the pain would stop me. This is my rage, no, this is divine punishment, you brat. I spanked her hard one more time. She was flailing around and trying to get free, but because of Baduk who was watching almost jealously, Chii didn’t try to run away.

“Th-That hurts!”

“I’m hitting you so that it hurts.”

And my hand hurts, too. I ignored the burning pain and hit her once more.

“Kyawoo!”

One more time.

“Kyawooo!!”

Chii tried to clench her teeth and keep from screaming, but every time I left another red mark on her white butt, she couldn’t help but let out a groan. I stopped hitting Chii’s butt when her butt turned completely bright red and I lost all sensation in my hand.

“Awoo, awoooo.”

She glared at me while trying her damnedest to hold back the tears that were threatening to burst. I ignored her glare and put back on her skirt for her. Chii went down from my lap and readjusted her clothes.

“Hey. In this world, there’s such a thing as limits. No matter how much you wanted me to pay for what I did, this was going too far.”

“Y-You said that you didn’t care what I did!”

Seeing Chii argue so fiercely, I wondered to myself if I acted like that when I was young.

“I told you. There’s such a thing as limits. I would’ve just given you a hit on the head for normal pranks, but what is all this?”

A wooden plank was sticking up, and the courtyard was full of craters. And my foot still hurt. And since my sock felt wet, I was likely bleeding. After seeing all that, Chii closed her mouth. She must have realized she went too far. Chii looked like she was reflecting on her actions, so it was probably okay for me to back down.

“But still, I do feel a little bad for hitting you. And also, Baduk, to you, too.”

“It was okay with me, Young Master.”

Yeah, of course it was.

“That’s why I’ll make the promise with you that if you don’t do things like this, then I won’t raise my hand against and kids, either.”

After hearing those words, Chii glared fiercely at me and shouted.

“Shut up! You pervert! What kind of nonsense is that when you’re the kind of pervert who gets off on hitting the butt of a maiden who has yet to marry?!”

I spoke flatly.

“Bad kids need to be spanked.”

My mom did the same thing to me when I was a kid.

“I’m saying that I’m an adult!”

…In what way?

“Regardless, we both went too far, so let’s just move on. That’s okay, right?”

“D-Did you think I’d move on from this issue just like that? Just watch!”

Chii disappeared into the house with her hair flapping.

“But, Young Master. There’s a tasty smell coming from your foot. Would it be okay if I tasted it just once?”

Baduk was staring with sparkling eyes at my foot that had fallen into food scraps. …I should wash it as soon as possible.

“No.”

“I really can’t?”

I mustn’t fall for those eyes. For both Baduk’s sake and my own.

Chapter end