Translator: DarkHeartedAlchemist
Extra Chapter 3: Maritaro
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a grandfather and his three grandmothers .
「 Why so many grandmothers?!」
「 And more importantly, putting Lilu aside, why do we have to be old in this story?」
「 Ah well, Aur plays the grandfather, so I guess it’s okay . 」
Grandfather went to the Dungeon in the mountains to mine in the tunnels, while the three grannies went to the river to do laundry .
While they were doing it, a large peach came flowing down seemingly out of nowhere .
「 It must’ve flown from the river’s source in the mountains . Let’s catch it and eat it! Hurry, before it flows away!」
「 Leave it to me . 」
And the black haired granny changed into a slime to pick up the giant peach that was rapidly flowing away .
「 Nope, I can’t do it, this peach is too heavy . 」
「 Spina?!」
And so the black haired granny got dragged away with the flowing peach with a disinterested expression on her face .
「 Just leave it to me! Haaaaa… . Gosh dingily dang it, this peach really is super heavy!」
「 Yunis?!」
The red haired granny tried to help, but ended the same as the black haired granny .
「 What on earth are you guys doing?」
The grandfather commented after helping his grandmothers .
After they (somehow) managed to get the peach out of the river, they decided to cut it into pieces for the ease of consumption .
Black haired grandma wanted to cut it into a cross shape, but was stopped by the other two .
「 Wait a minute, why would you cut it like that?! If we want to share it equally, we have to cut it either horizontally or vertically . 」
「 Why?」
「 In case there was someone inside of it . 」
「 Why would there be someone inside a peach?! Just cut it vertically already!」
Acting in accordance with the words of a grandma with bat-like wings, black-haired grandma cut the peach vertically .
And when she did, a baby girl cheerfully came out from inside the enormous fruit .
This surely must have been a gift from God .
As they did not have any kids themselves, grandfather and his three grandmothers were delighted .
And since she was born from a peach, the named the girl Maritaro .
「 Wait a minute, that name has nothing to do with the peach . 」(TL Note: Momo in Momotaro means peach)
「 And is it really alright for a girl’s name to be ending with taro?」
Apparently it was fine . Growing up healthily, Maritaro became a breathtaking beauty .
And one day she said:
「 I’m going to go to Onigashima (Demon Island) and put an end to all the bad demons!」
She did just like she said, and headed to Onigashima with a bag of kibi dumplings prepared by her three grandmothers .
During her journey, she happened upon a female dog .
「 Maritaro, Maritaro!」
Repeating her name like a chant, the dog approached her .
「 Please f*ck my b*tch p**sy senseless with your hard horse-like c*ck and fill my baby bag to the brim with your semen~~!」
「 ……… . . 」
「 …………… . . 」
「…………………………… . 」
「 You do realize that I’m a girl, right? As in, I don’t have a c*ck?」
「 Well that’s a damn shame, but what can you do, right?」
This short exchange was weird . And horrible . But mostly weird .
「 But I think that grandpa Aur might give you just what you’re looking for . 」
「 Then I will follow you! To the ends of the earth if I have to!」
And like that, Female Dog became Maritaro’s companion .
Continuing their journey, they met the monkey .
「 Maritaro, Maritaro!」
The monkey approached Maritaro with a serious expression .
「 I will go together with you if you give me one of those delicious dumplings you have there!」
「 Okaaaaaay, that’s fair enough, I guess . 」
But then Maritaro noticed that she forgot to take the dumplings with her when she left home .
「 I’m truly sorry . 」
「 It’s alright, no need to torment yourself over it . 」
The monkey replied to the troubled Maritaro .
「 I’ll come with you even if you don’t have anything . 」
「 Really?」
「 After all, Aur asked me to protect you, Maritaro . 」
Truth to be told, Monkey was actually grandfather’s secret agent way back from when grandpa was a Demon Lord .
And so it also became Maritaro’s companion .
「 Ma… Maritaro! Haa… Mari… taro…! Haa, haa…!」
Next, the party met the pheasant .
In order to catch up to Maritaro, it ran up at full speed, which made it feel exhausted, as it didn’t have a lot of stamina .
「 Are you alright?」
「 Yes… . I’m… I’m alright, no need to… to worry about me… haaaaa, haaaa, no, I really can’t… anymore…」
「 All right, if you say so . 」
Maritaro is a very kind girl, so she showed compassion towards an exhausted pheasant .
「 Maritaro, you… you forgot to take these dumplings with you . 」
Breathing heavily, she handed Maritaro the sash filled with dumplings made by her grandmothers .
「 Thank you so much, dear pheasant!」
「 D-don’t get the wrong idea! I-It’s not like I did this especially for you because I like you or anything! I did
it just because your grandfather asked me to do it!」
The pheasant happened to be an obnoxious tsundere .
「 Well then everyone, let’s eat!」
When Maritaro opened the sash, there was exactly five dumplings in it .
When Maritaro opened the sash, there was exactly five dumplings in it .
Crab dumplings made by the grandmother with wings, filled with simplicity and warmth .
Crudely made dumplings prepared by the red-haired grandmother, who was a bit awkward at times, but cared for her with all her heart .
Dumplings made by the black-haired grandmother that were shaped like an ideal, perfect spheres .
And dumplings made by the grandfather, who greatly sucked at cooking, but loved Maritaro just as much as his grandmothers .
All four companions sat around on the ground, stuffing their mouth with delicious dumplings .
Lastly, at the sash’s bottom laid black, dubious-looking dumplings .
「 Your grandfather explicitly stated not to eat those . 」
「 Just what did you put in those dumplings, Aur?!」
Thankfully everyone decided not to eat them .
And so Maritaro and her lively companions: female dog, monkey and pheasant finally reached Onigashima .
「 So we meet at last, Maritaro!」
What awaited them there was a red ogre with four arms and goat’s head .
I think all of you pretty much know where this is going so I’m going to skip through the battle with the demon .
「 Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! You absolutely can’t skip it!」
Oh I’m skipping it alright .
「 F*ck you then, do*chebag, I’ll fight them with all my poweeeeeeeer!」
… . . Sigh, if you really want to do this then fine, it can’t be helped . Maritaro, please throw the black dumplings at the ogre .
「 Roger! And narrator, why are you suddenly engaging in conversations with the characters?」
When Maritaro tossed the dumplings at the ogre, they momentarily got stuck to his ugly face .
「 The hell is this?!」
When the ogre tried to wipe the dumplings from its horrendous mug of a face, they turned translucent and drastically increased their size .
「 HOLY F*CK IT’S A SLIME!」
Yes, the black dumplings were actually a devil-eating slime prepared by the black-haired grandmother .
「 DEVIL-EATING SLIME MY ASS!!!」
And it devoured the ogre’s magical power to the last drop, leaving nothing behind . And then…
「 Okay okay, I surrender! I surrender I said! Please help me!!!」
He reached his hand towards Maritaro in a reconciling gesture .
He reached his hand towards Maritaro in a reconciling gesture .
But Maritaro and her gang had already pillaged and plundered the treasure from the entire island, packed it into a car and used the escape route that the grandfather arranged to drive off into the sunset .
「 Abandonment play, how cruel . But that is also a form of Mari’s love! Ah, Mari, my beloved angel!」
The ogre shouted, and then it dropped dead on the spot . It died . and that is the end of that story .
Maritaro’s grandparents were delighted to see that their child had returned home safely .
「 Thank you for the black dumpling Sofi, I love you!」
「 I-It’s not like I did it just for you because I was worried you know?! Don’t misunderstand, i-idiot!」
Black-haired grandmother was also a terrible tsundere .
Thanks to the ogre’s treasure, everyone lived happily ever after . The End .
When Mio finally finished reading the book, Mari was already fast asleep .
「 Mio, you sucked as the narrator . 」
「 Oh, don’t say that . 」
Mio smiled towards flabbergasted Lilu .
「 You changed the characters quite a bit . Was that really okay?」
「 I think we’re fine . 」
Mio puffed out her chest proudly .
「 Because that was a deluxe extra edition!」
「 It was awful!!!!!!!!」
And everyone lived happily ever after .
Happy End .
Cast:
Grandfather: Aur
Grandmother: Lilu
Grandmother: Yunis
Grandmother: Spina
Female Dog: Sharl
Monkey: Nadja
Pheasant: Wikia
Demon: Logan
Kibi Dumpling: Demon-eating Slime
Escape Route: Real Main Heroine (Dungeon)
Narrator: Mio
Staright Man: Lilu
Chapter end
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