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Doomed to be Cannon Fodder Chapter 7
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Doomed to be Cannon Fodder Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Hey! What Kind of Evil Spirit Are You!

Xiao Shi responded easily, going over to water the cactus. After a while, Bai Xiangxiu heard a happy voice say, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," She instinctively answered, and then shot up. How many times have I had this hallucination? This really isn't logical!

"Mistress Xiu, what is it?" She saw her mistress, having been unconscious for many days, suddenly jump off her bed and stare at the cactus for a very long time in only her undergarments! Still staring at the cactus, her mistress suddenly demanded, "Hey, what sort of evil spirit are you?"

Xiao Shi was flabbergasted, "…" She then suddenly ran out, screaming loudly, "Someone come quick! Call the doctor from the medicine hall! Mistress Xiu… something's wrong with Mistress Xiu!"

Bai Xiangxiu could only feel a headache coming on. How is there something wrong with me? I'm clearly perfectly fine!

"I am not a demon, I am a cactus. I'm Little Fire," a fluffy voice sounded. Bai Xiangxiu took a few steps back in her fright. She was now utterly and completely certain that there was something wrong with her. Why else would she feel like this cactus was actually speaking to her?

"You… you… it's nothing to do with you, I feel like I should see a doctor." She returned to her bed and laid down on her back, her limbs splayed out as she waited for the doctor to come. However, she quickly felt like it was a little undignified, so she covered herself with a blanket.

"Mistress, Little Fire is really comfortable today. Little Fire wants to go sunbathing," The voice seemed to resound with a childish joy. Bai Xiangxiu was now convinced her sickness was escalating.

The doctor entered the courtyard before too long. He was an elderly man, so they didn't much stick to formalities. Bai Xiangxiu quickly threw out her arm, almost frantic, 'Doctor, I'm experiencing hallucinations, like someone is speaking to me. Quickly, check whether or not I've gone crazy."

That old doctor's lips twitched. A madwoman who so quickly and readily admitted that she was crazy. This was a first. After taking her pulse, he smiled, "Mistress Xiu has already basically made a full recovery. You only need to take some medicine and everything will be fine."

Sigh, I rushed all the way here only to find that there's nothing wrong with the person in question. He quickly dispensed some medicine, packed up his doctor's bag and left.

Bai Xiangxiu remained lying on the bed, saying, "Doctor, please don't go, I really am sick." The voice within her head replied, "I am not someone, I am Little Fire. I am Little Fire, Little Fire is the cactus."

Who'd ever heard of a cactus who could talk? She hadn't, at the very least.

Xiao Shi was also at a loss of what to do at this moment, but at least she could finally set her mind at ease after hearing the doctor say that her mistress was alright. Really, her mistress was probably only showing some anomalies since she'd been frightened that much. Perhaps she would recover after resting for a time.

Bai Xiangxiu was 'crazy' for a full two days, and it was only after the news of her having turned crazy spread that she herself finally accepted reality. After all, it was only a fluffy cactus that could talk, and something only she could hear. As long as she pretended that she couldn't hear it, wouldn't she still be a perfectly normal person?

While Little Fire was really a cactus, it was a cactus that didn't know anything at all. It slept around twenty hours a day, only awake for four. Therefore, she also didn't feel too bothered by it. What bothered her now was another matter. She hadn't been able to return home even after being pricked by a cactus. Did it have anything to do with the location and time?

That day, she had tried pricking herself at the same location and the same time, but couldn't return even when she bled. Did that meant that she would have to wait for the same day next year? Having asked Xiao Shi, she had learnt that that day was a little different, because it was the annual Ghost Festival.

Did she truly have to wait for this hour on next year's Ghost Festival before she could prick herself once more and return? But in a year, she'd already have been beaten to the death by staves. She was on the verge of panicking; the scenes from that day were still fresh in her mind.

She definitely had to find a way to avoid that from happening. Within this year, she definitely had to find a thick thigh to hug 1  in order to surpass this tribulation. That way, even if she couldn't return, at least she could still live a good life, right?

As for finding a handsome guy from ancient times and live through a glorious romance, that was far too impractical. It was best she didn't think much of it. But whose thigh should she hug?

The male lead's–

Definitely not. Bai Xiangxiu's head immediately spun into knots when she thought of him.

The old madame's–

Definitely not as well. The effects of thinking about her were the same as thinking about her son, Prince Li.

When she thought about it, she'd only really seen the main supporting male character, Song Jiaoyue, since she'd transmigrated here.

Song Jiaoyue was actually a tender person both inside and out. If one said that the male lead was fire, then he would be water. If one said that the male lead was the blazing hot sun, then he was the cold, tranquil moon. Meanwhile, his family background was also not bad, staying on par with that of the male lead's. The other male supporting characters were all a little too weak; even if she managed to successfully seduce them, they would never be able to stand up to the male lead.

If it was Song Jiaoyue, getting her out of this relationship with the male lead would be an extremely simple matter. He was wholeheartedly devoted when it came to his feelings. If he fell in love, he would ignore everyone else, including the concubines who currently lived with him, just like the male lead. Song Jiaoyue was also known for being extremely gentle towards women. He definitely wouldn't do anything like beating them to death. Therefore, as she considered, it seemed that his was the only thigh she could hug.

As for the method of hugging, it could only be through the method of gifting herself to him. What, was she to make friends with a man like in modern times? A purely platonic friendship between men and women or whatnot was already rare in the modern age, much less in ancient times.

After considering things for a long time, Bai Xiangxiu finally decided to chase Song Jiaoyue, helping him shake off his solitary fate, while also ensuring that she wouldn't be beaten to death by staves. The male lead would only think of throwing out his bunch of concubines later on. If someone asked for her, wouldn't he immediately hand her over on a platter to Song Jiaoyue with his own hands?

The question was: how to chase him?

The reason Song Jiaoyue had liked the female lead was her talent. He had been deeply enraptured by her singing, having heard her as she played an instrument in the male lead's house. Therefore, Song Jiaoyue liked women not because of their appearance, but because of their talents. Bai Xiangxiu stroked her lower chin. Where did her talents lie? After all, she only knew how to arrange flowers and plants!

But if she wanted to get close to Song Jiaoyue, she must first have talent. This was the most important factor.

After thinking over things for a bit, she first decided to browse through all the poems and whatnot they had here. She could corroborate her findings with what she knew of history and see if there were any transmigrating seniors who'd long since finished plagiarizing and stealing all the poems she knew of. Otherwise, if she randomly threw out a verse later on and others all accused her of plagiarism, that would really be tragic. Therefore, she began reading diligently, imitating how she'd studied for her college entrance exams in the past.

Seeing her mistress spending day after day submerged in books, reading from morning till night and obsessed to the point of not even brushing her hair or washing her face, Xiao Shi wondered, are books really that good to read?

She'd thought that normal days were going to return when her mistress finished the books. But who knew that her mistress would also begin working on her handwriting. She also did that from morning to night, tiring herself out so much that she tied the brush to her fingers and continued writing.

Having never ever seen such a self-abusive mistress before, Xiao Shi really was badly frightened. Meanwhile, the servants once again spread rumors of Mistress Xiu, that she had been frightened into a mad devil since that day, her behavior becoming more and more erratic.

Two months of this crazy schedule had passed before Prince Li heard of it. After the old madame told him about it, she mentioned, "I'll send some people over to take a look later. If she really is deeply crazy, I'll send her over to the temple to rest. Perhaps the power of the Buddha would help her to recover."

Nodding, Long Heng agreed. It all felt a little unreal as he strode out of the old madame's abode. The lively and intelligent girl that day had gone mad just like this? After a brief hesitation, his footsteps turned onto the beaten path towards Winter Garden.

Thigh hugging means finding a backer/patron. This translation was conducted more literally as the humor within fits the MC's tone ↩

Chapter end

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Catalogue
Chapter 295
Chapter 294
Chapter 293
Chapter 292
Chapter 291
Chapter 290
Chapter 289
Chapter 288
Chapter 287
Chapter 286
Chapter 285
Chapter 284
Chapter 283
Chapter 282
Chapter 281
Chapter 280
Chapter 279
Chapter 278
Chapter 277
Chapter 276
Chapter 275
Chapter 274
Chapter 273
Chapter 272
Chapter 271
Chapter 270
Chapter 269
Chapter 268
Chapter 267
Chapter 266
Chapter 265
Chapter 264
Chapter 263
Chapter 262
Chapter 261
Chapter 260
Chapter 259
Chapter 258
Chapter 257
Chapter 256
Chapter 255
Chapter 254
Chapter 253
Chapter 252
Chapter 251
Chapter 250
Chapter 249
Chapter 248
Chapter 247
Chapter 246
Chapter 245
Chapter 244
Chapter 243: Level Up
Chapter 242
Chapter 241
Chapter 240
Chapter 239
Chapter 238
Chapter 237
Chapter 236
Chapter 235
Chapter 234
Chapter 233
Chapter 232
Chapter 231
Chapter 230
Chapter 229
Chapter 228
Chapter 227
Chapter 226
Chapter 225
Chapter 224
Chapter 223
Chapter 222-223
Chapter 221
Chapter 220
Chapter 219
Chapter 218
Chapter 217
Chapter 216
Chapter 215
Chapter 214
Chapter 213
Chapter 212
Chapter 211
Chapter 210
Chapter 209
Chapter 208
Chapter 207
Chapter 206
Chapter 205
Chapter 204
Chapter 203
Chapter 202
Chapter 201
Chapter 200
Chapter 199
Chapter 198
Chapter 197
Chapter 196
Chapter 195
Chapter 194
Chapter 193
Chapter 192
Chapter 191
Chapter 190
Chapter 189
Chapter 188
Chapter 187
Chapter 186
Chapter 185
Chapter 184
Chapter 183
Chapter 182
Chapter 181
Chapter 180
Chapter 179
Chapter 178
Chapter 177
Chapter 176
Chapter 175
Chapter 174
Chapter 173
Chapter 172
Chapter 171
Chapter 170
Chapter 169
Chapter 168
Chapter 167
Chapter 166
Chapter 165
DCF Chapter 164
Chapter 163
Chapter 162
Chapter 161
Chapter 160
Chapter 159
Chapter 158
Chapter 157
Chapter 156
Chapter 155
Chapter 154
Chapter 153
Chapter 152
DCF Chapter 151
Chapter 150
Chapter 149
Chapter 148
Chapter 147
Chapter 146
Chapter 145
Chapter 144
DCF Chapter 143
DCF Chapter 142
Chapter 141
Chapter 140
DCF Chapter 139
Chapter 138
Chapter 137
Chapter 136
Chapter 135
Chapter 134
DCF Chapter 133
Chapter 132
Chapter 131
Chapter 130
Chapter 129
Chapter 128
Chapter 127
Chapter 126
DCF Chapter 125
DCF Chapter 124
DCF Chapter 123
Chapter 122
DCF Chapter 121
DCF Chapter 120
DCF Chapter 119
DCF Chapter 118
Chapter 117
DCF Chapter 116
DCF Chapter 115
DCF Chapter 114
DCF Chapter 113
DCF Chapter 112
DCF Chapter 111
DCF Chapter 110
DCF Chapter 109
DCF Chapter 108
DCF Chapter 107
DCF Chapter 106
DCF Chapter 105
DCF Chapter 104
DCF Chapter 103
DCF Chapter 102
DCF Chapter 101
DCF Chapter 100
DCF Chapter 99
Chapter 98
DCF Chapter 97
DCF Chapter 96
DCF Chapter 95
DCF Chapter 94
DCF Chapter 93
DCF Chapter 92
DCF Chapter 91
DCF Chapter 90
DCF Chapter 89
DCF Chapter 88
Chapter 87
DCF Chapter 86
DCF Chapter 85
DCF Chapter 84
DCF Chapter 83
DCF Chapter 82
DCF Chapter 81
DCF Chapter 80
Chapter 79
DCF Chapter 78
DCF Chapter 77
DCF Chapter 76
DCF Chapter 75
DCF Chapter 74
DCF Chapter 73
DCF Chapter 72
Chapter 71
DCF Chapter 70
DCF Chapter 69
DCF Chapter 68
DCF Chapter 67
DCF Chapter 66
DCF Chapter 65
Chapter 64
DCF Chapter 63
DCF Chapter 62
DCF Chapter 61
Chapter 60
DCF Chapter 59
DCF Chapter 58
DCF Chapter 57
DCF Chapter 56
Chapter 55
DCF Chapter 54
DCF Chapter 53
DCF Chapter 52
DCF Chapter 51
DCF Chapter 50
Chapter 49
DCF Chapter 48
DCF Chapter 47
DCF Chapter 46
Chapter 45
DCF Chapter 44
DCF Chapter 43
DCF Chapter 42
DCF Chapter 41
DCF Chapter 40
Chapter 39
DCF Chapter 38
DCF Chapter 37
DCF Chapter 36
DCF Chapter 35
DCF Chapter 34
DCF Chapter 33
Chapter 32: Getting Princess
DCF Chapter 31
DCF Chapter 30
DCF Chapter 29
DCF Chapter 28
DCF Chapter 27
DCF Chapter 26
DCF Chapter 25
DCF Chapter 24
DCF Chapter 23
DCF Chapter 22
DCF Chapter 21
DCF Chapter 20
DCF Chapter 19
Chapter 18 part5
DCF Chapter 18
Chapter 17 part5
DCF Chapter 17
DCF Chapter 16
DCF Chapter 15
Chapter 14
Chapter 13
Chapter 12
Chapter 11
Chapter 10
Chapter 9
Chapter 8
Chapter 7
Chapter 6
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapters 61.70 (part 2)
Chapter 2
Chapters 61.70 (part 1)
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