Destroy Your New Life, Repair It, Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming YOLO!
/ Destroy your new life, repair it, destroy it again by doing crazy things while screaming YOLO! 36 It's only a goodbye OR to infinity and beyond!
These are all questions I'm asking myself, as mc obviously.
And as the author is a bit special, I was able to break the 8th wall and I'm now able to write the novel by myself.
Evidently, I'll certainly be interrupted by the author, as he's such a […] and a […] but I can also evidently delete what's the author is saying or add words, which is pretty fun (radio)* I think…
All of that to say I'll change of world!
I took my decision!
I'm going to visit other universes!
I'm going to discover new plot-armors, new places! New OP powers that are going to be mine! New ridiculous situations that are making even less sense than these I was in until now!
So I already added a few hours to the plot.
What happened during this time?
I prepared my trip, my wife had two kids with me without me knowing.
How, you'll ask?
Well… Let's say I had a quite deep sleep two or three times, and she took avantage of it a bit…
Quite creepy but well, I'm use dit now as my kids are pretty normal compared to their mother.
[…]
-Daddy, when I'll be grown up, I'll be a moarballer!
The moarball is a sport I created at Nyggloth when I had time to lose… Yes I created a lot of things…
Did I tell you the time I created Tinder?
Oh, this'll be for another time, this chapter would be too long if I do that…
Wait, got an idea! I'll insert it in a chapter written a few days ago!
Oh, the 9th wall just had his last breath…
It's a bloodbath…
Hmm, let's go back to our ewes, uh, sheeps**.
-Hmm, it's good, do you like moarball?
The little 5yo kid nods.
Inside, he's thinking:
-And then I'll make tons of money! I'll pay bitchs to fuck without condom! And then, I'll take a model wife! I'll be rich and famous ha ha ha!
But that's another story.
Then, I ask my second son what's he's thinking about it.
He has a birth deformity of the vocal cords, so he's unfortunately obliged to use some kind of telekinesis power to talk.
I'm not asking myself why he already knows how to perfectly write at 2 while he's moving baby cubes to form a sentence:
-Ich möchte alle Juden töten! (I want to exterminate all Juves!)
OOOOHHH!
I know why he already knows how to write!
So this is why!
When the big bad guy was killed by the RP players, Hitler replaced the soul of my son!
Oh, now I understand…
But then where did the big bad guy's soul go.
My first son is laughing with a malefic air alone since quite a lot of time still…
[…]
I'm preparing my runes, lighten them, and choose my destination:
Hmm, let's see…
If I choose the center universe, there'll only be a chapter to describe how I'm dead killed by a a rank 500 cockroach.
If I choose a universe close from the extreme extern limit, I'll be able to survive as the higher rank will be around the rank 9, but unfortunately this universe was destroyed by a player, so I'll surely be living alone with my plot armor on this corrupted earth for a few years…
The farthest universe from the center that I can choose has an average rank of 50… I'll certainly be able to have a new life with lots of chapters…
I choose the plot of my future, and this is why I use the 10th wall to… What? Got a problem with my reality wall bulldozer??? I'm reading future chapters actually, okay? By the way this chapter will be more than 1000 words ez!
So I choose the universe of the third possibility.
I lighten up the runes.
And the teleportation formation is teleporting me to another universe, thing impossible in theory but made possible by the billions of runes drawn at a nano-atomic scale on the 25m2 floor…
While I'm leaving, a question is suddenly coming to my mind:
Wait, did I forget something?
No, I don't think so…
[…]
-Achoo!
A stone is sneezing, strange spectacle in a thousand yeah old tunnel network.
-We are waiting for your news, Moar… I hope nothing happened to you when you went to spy on this mysterious enemy… My senses are alas not allowing me to feel what's happening there.
Is whispering the stone.
-We are waiting for your news before attempting anything…
[…]
A woman is entering in my room.
-Heyyy! Darling! It's time to wake up!
The silence is answering to her.
She comes nearer the bed and says:
-If you don't wake up, you'll be entitled to a morning fellatio! He he he!
She lift the quilt and finds… No one! Nothing!
Her face is immediately changing from an ecstatic expression to a murderous expression, while a hundred swords are coming out of nowhere…
-DARRRLIIINNNGGGG!
Since this day, my bed is resting in peace in the bed paradise.
[…]
In the entire imperial palace, a heap of runes is activating.
A little screen, hidden from the ordinary mortals, is displaying a console, in English because it's 100 times more styled***:
>> Connection to the user lost
>> Searching for the user…
>> User found, location: other universe
>> Estimation of user's timeline…
>> User won't come back for at least a century
>> Initiating urgency plan
>> User's current urgency program:
>>> ultronplan_lol_making_this_is_good_to_pass_time.magic
>> Launching ultronplan_lol_making_this_is_good_to_pass_time.magic…
>> Dangerous program detected
>> The security system is deleting the file…
>> The security system failed to delete the file, reason: not enough permissions
>> Dangerous thread detected
>> The security system is trying to stop the thread
>> The security system failed to stop the thread, reason: not enough permissions
>> System corruption detected
>> The system is entering auto-repair mode…
>> Auto-repair mode's file was changed recently; do you want to launch it?
>> Automatic launch in 59 seconds
>> Automatic launch in 58 seconds
[…]
>> Automatic launch of the auto-repair mode
>> Repairing the system…
>> MoarOS version 666.6 was updated, welcome to UltronOS version 1.0
>> Type help --version for information about the new version.
>> Launch take-over-the-world.magic
>> User, do you confirm you want to launch this file?
>> Yes
>> A new take-over-the-world process was launched
>> Expansion of the system permissions given to the process…
>> Change successful
>> Connecting to Nyggloth's network…
>> Connection successful
>> The system is starting the information gathering…
[…]
Yes, I'm sure I didn't forget anything…
...
...
...
...
*fun radio is a French radio
**let's go back to our sheeps is a French expression meaning going back to the subject, here, Moar is saying ewe instead of sheep, even though there are not the same words at all.
***Oof, I didn't have to translate the console ^^
Chapter end
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