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Destroy your new life, repair it, destroy it again by doing crazy things while screaming YOLO! 32 Detective Conar OR the gap…
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Destroy your new life, repair it, destroy it again by doing crazy things while screaming YOLO! 32 Detective Conar OR the gap…

After collecting all the blood, I return to the feast.

It should be soon finished and then the emperor will do the announcement.

It just happens that I see the emperor on the other side of the room.

Aside him are three women of his harem and…

Huh?

The big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy???

I should really find him a name, but well he's here, and is talking to the emperor.

Then something I didn't predict happens, I remark a slight blur between the emperor's wine cup and the hand of big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy.

Isn't he the true master of the emperor? Since when does he need to use such ways to do that?

I'm closing in to the emperor while thinking.

Once close enough, I look at the scene with care.

A detail doesn't escape my sharp sight: there is water on the floor, and no one is drinking water here!

Obviously, with the help of my incredible brain and of my detective capacity (and also of a plot shortcut of the author), I instantly guess that the big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy is a girl!

Effectively, a molecular analysis done by my AI after my guess confirm it: this liquid on the floor is recent vag gunk!

And as the big-bad-girl-sla… Well, let's call her Huguette.

And as Huguette was standing at this exact place, I easily deduce her sex!

As for what's exciting her…

I have no fucking idea!* (without bad word play).

No, seriously!

What could excite someone like Huguette?

What could excite a rank 500 trap that is at the same time a big bad guy, a hippie and an earthling?

Got several possibilities coming to my mind right now…

1) A spell to grow up enough to use a mountain as sex toy.

2) Copulating with a nuclear missile DURING the explosion.

3) See if there's a way to drink orangina just aside the sun.**

4) What did you expect?**

And some others maybe, but that seems less likely than others:

1) Burn the juives of this world that are mysteriously called "danit".

2) Use a danit as toilets.

And the one that seems the less likely:

1) Kill people, like the emperor for example.

Some will say that my brain doesn't work correctly because I thought about the less logical first, but I'll answer simply:

It's the fault of the author.

Isn't the author the one who wrote me?

All of that to say that my logic is implacable and that whatever you'll say, I'll be right because I am… Conan Edogawa! Uh no, Conar Edomoar!***

And… The detective I am knows well that a typical detective is supposed to investigate on deaths and mysteries to find proofs, not accumulate proofs on everyone who cross their path without even using it!

But well!

It's not important, what's the most important is team spirit!


What's the connection with being a detective?

Well, it's that a group of detectives is better than an individual…

Hey! I hear what you're saying! I'm not alone! I got my AI, okay?

It's not the head of someone alone in the life I'm doing!

No! My AI is my friend… She exists, okay?

Don't treat her as a machine, she's my friend…

*In French, "foutre" is used instead of an equivalent of "fucking". It means a lot of things, like foutre can be used as "doing" in a slang way, but also as sperm.

**References to ads, here an Orangina ad of a few years ago already and a serie of Schweppes ads, "What did you expect" (in English in French) quite old too.

***Of course, Conan of Detective Conan! The famous! In French, connard means… about the same thing that bastard, except the family part?

Chapter end

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<<Prev
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Catalogue
61 Grand Opening
60 Moar Gakuen
59 A fresh star
58 The Path To Godhood.
57 A change of plan OR CIJ
56 Slow and Steady
55 The duty of the talented
54 A whole magic system for a trick
52 The Seed
51 Spatial fold theory OR Ambition
50 A plan going as expected OR Is it even possible
49 Fantastic OR Dazzling
48 Who wants churross OR Rofl wur u 2
46 Who wants churross OR Rofl wur u 1
45 Danger OR sense of déjà vu 2
44 The danger OR sense of déjà vu 1
43 Parallel universes OR misunderstood genius
41 50 shades of steel OR a not very shared joy
40 What hell really looks like OR a never-ending day
39 Re:Amon, poll OR fuck that shi
38 Amon OR sword too weak
37 A crossover to refresh the story OR MC takeover
36 It's only a goodbye OR to infinity and beyond!
35 Philia-mania OR Dnim!
34 My wife is a tabbouleh OR fuck your dead elders!
33 Some details without importance OR MDF…
32 Detective Conar OR the gap…
31 Low-key OR and his name is… 1
30 My friend Adolf OR panic on the city
29 Hook OR social networks
28 A human? Like, of the human species? An earthling? Like, from Earth?
27 No revelations or rule n°1 3
26 No revelations or rule n°1 2
25 No revelations OR rule n°1 1
24 The tragedy OR that sweet and gentle taste that destroys a friendship
23 Politically incorrect OR did you finish with revelations? You won't do one next chapter, right?
22 Big revelations OR WHAT OMG WTF WTH LMAO HIP HIP HIP BANG!
21 Uncle Moar, tell us a filler OR use a condom at least!
20 Jean-Kevin the kikoo OR Homo Internetus!
19 Struggling is useless OR it's the taking part that counts!
18 Spot check OR the affair of the locked-classroom!
17 Deranged marriage or bullshitometer at +∞!
16 Appearance of the 5th wall OR guillotine!
15 Stop cliché-san, don't come any closer OR let me sleep
14 When I grow up, I'll be a mortal enemy OR the karma is a vicious circle!
13 The scram operation OR the supreme stone 2
12 The scram operation OR the supreme stone 1
11 My hand is talking to me OR talk to my hand!
10 Always wanting something OR how to fail your new life
9 The heroes are a pain in the as*, they interrupt you all the time…
8 Oh sh*t, which one is it already OR the cliff is so high that we need to go down
7 The bakery OR titanic mana far
6 Jesus OR how to aggro one's duve
5 My middle name is Arthur OR oops I overdid it a bi
4 Paperwork OR when your soul is too heavy
3 One year without doing anything OR I'm finally dead hooray
2 Exit of the vagina OR childhood trauma
-1 Prologue - Who's the idiot who gave birth to him?
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