"After Hanhan came home from the hospital, Muqing hired a midwife to take care of Hanhan . "
"At the time, I was still sick . There was one really serious time when I swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills . "
"After I woke up, I was really unwell and in the hospital because I was throwing up my stomach . "
"Muqing's eyes were red as she called me 'foolish' from the sidelines . She yelled at me for not thinking things through and asked what was going to happen to Hanhan if I left . "
"Actually, Muqing said a lot at the time, but I didn't listen . It was the sound of Hanhan's endless crying that let me know that I had given birth to a child . The baby who I fought tooth and nail to protect was born . . . "
"And it was from then on that I started to slowly come out of it and slowly shifted all my focus on Hanhan . I gradually got better little by little as Hanhan grew up . "
"When I used to work as a screenwriter, I might not have earned a lot, but I spent a lot of my savings on an apartment . The more time I spent with Hanhan in my belly, the less savings I had . I knew I should work and make money, so when I was eight months pregnant with Hanhan, I raised my pen and started writing stories again . "
"I didn't dare use the pen name of Cheng Weiwan in fear that people would find out I had Hanhan . Although I put Hanhan under Muqing's name, all I could do was start writing with a new pen name . Writing books was really tiring and I didn't earn a lot . My days were a little tough, but I never let Hanhan suffer because I knew that without him, I'd be nothing . It was Hanhan who kept me alive . . . "
Han Zhifan's hand couldn't help but ball into fists .
His back started to gently tremble .
"Later, the nanny found a better working environment, so she quit . All I could do was find a new nanny to take care of Hanhan . "
"Sometimes, I didn't notice many things when I was fully concentrated on writing scripts . Later, I realized that the new nanny would often lecture Hanhan, and she would secretly feed Hanhan sleeping pills just to let me work in peace . "
"When I found out, I couldn't trust anyone anymore . I took over taking care of Hanhan completely . During the day, there simply wasn't time to write, so I would have to wait till Hanhan slept to write in the evening . I pulled all-nighters every day . Huge chunks of hair fell out and my state of mind was also awful . My memory started to get worse and for some time, I got headaches every day . "
"How should I put it . . . Although those days were hard, I was really happy . "
"Hanhan slowly learned to crawl then swayed as he walked then called me 'mummy' and learned simple words . "
"I felt a special sense of accomplishment . It gave me a stronger sense of accomplishment than my first script that was made into a television series . "
"But as Hanhan got older, he learned more and more about some things . For example, when he was over a year old, he suddenly asked, 'Mummy, what is a dad? How come everyone has a dad? Why don't I have a dad?'"
"He asked me several questions in succession . I didn't know how to reply to him . "
"I couldn't tell Hanhan that 'your father doesn't want you . ' In the end, I chose to lie to him . I picked up your photo and told him that: 'This is daddy . When you grow up, daddy will come back to see you . '"
"He was really happy and cried 'Daddy' endlessly . Eventually, he would even start recording all the happy things that happened to him in the day . He told me that when daddy came back, he was going to give these for daddy to watch . "
Chapter 1044 Afraid 5 Translator Paperplane Editor Caron After Hanhan came home from the hospital, Muqing hired a midwife to take care of Hanhan . At the time, I was still sick . There was one really serious time when I swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills . After I woke up, I was really unwell and in the hospital because I was throwing up my stomach . Muqing s eyes were red as she called me foolish from the sidelines . She yelled at me for not thinking things through and asked what was going to happen to Hanhan if I left . Actually, Muqing said a lot at the time, but I didn t listen . It was the sound of Hanhan s endless crying that let me know that I had given birth to a child . The baby who I fought tooth and nail to protect was born . . . And it was from then on that I started to slowly come out of it and slowly shifted all my focus on Hanhan . I gradually got better little by little as Hanhan grew up . When I used to work as a screenwriter, I might not have earned a lot, but I spent a lot of my savings on an apartment . The more time I spent with Hanhan in my belly, the less savings I had . I knew I should work and make money, so when I was eight months pregnant with Hanhan, I raised my pen and started writing stories again . I didn t dare use the pen name of Cheng Weiwan in fear that people would find out I had Hanhan . Although I put Hanhan under Muqing s name, all I could do was start writing with a new pen name . Writing books was really tiring and I didn t earn a lot . My days were a little tough, but I never let Hanhan suffer because I knew that without him, I d be nothing . It was Hanhan who kept me alive . . . Han Zhifan s hand couldn t help but ball into fists . His back started to gently tremble . Later, the nanny found a better working environment, so she quit . All I could do was find a new nanny to take care of Hanhan . Sometimes, I didn t notice many things when I was fully concentrated on writing scripts . Later, I realized that the new nanny would often lecture Hanhan, and she would secretly feed Hanhan sleeping pills just to let me work in peace . When I found out, I couldn t trust anyone anymore . I took over taking care of Hanhan completely . During the day, there simply wasn t time to write, so I would have to wait till Hanhan slept to write in the evening . I pulled all nighters every day . Huge chunks of hair fell out and my state of mind was also awful . My memory started to get worse and for some time, I got headaches every day . How should I put it . . . Although those days were hard, I was really happy . Hanhan slowly learned to crawl then swayed as he walked then called me mummy and learned simple words . I felt a special sense of accomplishment . It gave me a stronger sense of accomplishment than my first script that was made into a television series . But as Hanhan got older, he learned more and more about some things . For example, when he was over a year old, he suddenly asked, Mummy, what is a dad How come everyone has a dad Why don t I have a dad He asked me several questions in succession . I didn t know how to reply to him . I couldn t tell Hanhan that your father doesn t want you . In the end, I chose to lie to him . I picked up your photo and told him that This is daddy . When you grow up, daddy will come back to see you . He was really happy and cried Daddy endlessly . Eventually, he would even start recording all the happy things that happened to him in the day . He told me that when daddy came back, he was going to give these for daddy to watch .
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